Talk To Spongeformer 2

Bubbles: Stop it. That's enough! [appears in the scene] Silence!
Seagull: Oh, man. I like that song. What happened?
Bubbles: I don't like that song and I put an end to it.
Seagull: Well, this music is terrible.
Bubbles: Oh. [shows a picture of him in his underwear, on a box of tissues, with the message "I'm getting a blowjob, and it sounds great" written all over it]
Seagull: I hate that song. I don't want to hear that! [gets up, leaves]
Bubbles: Okay, he's my friend. Now go and play a little.
I just think it was a great performance. Like a good movie. Not as good as "Batman".
If you like that, don't forget that the music is really good after the third or fourth minute. And the ending, where the ship is on the verge of crashing, I didn't like. It was just sort of there.
That is all what I liked. Maybe the film looks

Squidward: Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
Squilliam: I hear you're playing the cash register now.
Squidward: Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow? How's the gum?
Squilliam: It is very... difficult. No need to worry, dear. It's a sign of growth.
Squidward: Why do kids always ask so many questions?
Squilliam: Because it's so easy for you to answer. Now go on.
Squidward: That... just sounds like a challenge.
Squilliam: I'd love to play this instrument but you have no idea how hard it is.
Squidward: Don't you want to play me? I love your voice!
Squilliam: Please don't look at my face.
Squidward: How can your face be so beautiful? Is this why? Don't ask! I'm not doing this again!
Squilliam: Are you gonna cry?
Squidward: Oh, don't worry. Your sadness is beautiful. I know. But it's not me you're

Squidward: People, people, settle down! Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?
Plankton: Do instruments of torture count?
Squidward: No. I hate musical instruments.
Plankton: So it's really that simple!
Squidward: Yeah, you could say that.
Plankton: No, that wasn't it.
Squidward: No, no... Okay, alright!
Plankton: Are you sure? I mean, you'd be in trouble. [Mildly alarmed] It won't go right next to the fire pit, or to people, or to the fish food!
Squidward: It'll go where there's no fish food. I'm sure of that.
Plankton: I would say, you know, you're not gonna do more harm with the electric guitar. You're gonna do less harm with it.
Squidward: All right. That sucks.
(Squidward is playing his electric guitar and the Plankton is playing a piano and the two are making out...)
Squid



Plankton: Thank you for your patronizing words, computer wife. [Walks towards the doors of the Chum Bucket]
Karen: Do you even have a plan?
Plankton: Plan, shman. I'm going to wing it. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Karen: Oh, nothing. [Grabs Plankton's arm. Karen pulls him out of the Chum Bucket]
Plankton: [Grabs an apple from the Chum Bucket] That apple could kill us, Karen. And it will kill us both.
Karen: You're not getting this. [Walks up to the Chum Bucket.]
Plankton: What? What is this, your personal refrigerator? [Walks up to the fridge.] I could drown in that shit, Karen! [Lays down onto the shelf from which he picked up the apple]
Karen: Come on, Plankton, it's a joke.
Plankton: Shut up. [Planks into the fridge as Karen screams]
Karen: Plankton, I'm

SpongeBob: I sure am! [He presses a button on the remote. A large chimney rises from the ground next to his house, and a gigantic funnel pops out of it with the words "Welcome Santa" in neon letters] I'm ready! [Patchy laughs] I'll be the first, of course. [SpongeBob grabs a gift from the chimneys, as a giant fish with three heads emerges from behind a nearby tree. His eyes open]

SpongeBob: I'm not ready! [SpongeBob jumps off of the tree]

SpongeBob: [Surprised and excited] Oh, oh, no!

Vampire Squid: [Flicks his tail around] Huzzah! [Hoots out the Christmas tree as SpongeBob and Patrick enter the house] How, thank y-ous!

SpongeBob: [Nods to the fish who's sitting in a chair nearby] It's a new spirit, I must say, and a very handsome one.

Patty: [Fishing with a line] Oof

SpongeBob: [standing on a table towards Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs] And everyone pretends to like the fruitcake.
Squidward: Yawn. (SpongeBob and Squidward run off.)
Von Neumann: You guys are pretty good at this "pretend to like the fruitcake" thing, Squidward!
(Squidward pretends to like the fruitcake, but it never goes down.)
Patrick: That's not fruitcake! That's a giant pretzel!
(Patrick pretends to like the fruitcake, as if it was a pretzel, but it never goes down.)
Von Neumann: Well, you must know the fruitcake.
Squidward: The fruitcake is a pretzel?
(Von Neumann gives SpongeBob a Fruitcake Cake which never goes down.)
Von Neumann: That's not a pretzel!
SpongeBob: [standing on a table towards Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs] And everyone pretends to like the fruitcake.
Sharon: And it

SpongeBob: Hi, Kevin. I'm your biggest fan.
Kevin: You're too kind. [yells] Security!
SpongeBob: No, wait! I would do anything for you! I want to be with you now!
Kevin: No, I would never leave. I love you so much! [they kiss]
Kevin: Hey, look! This girl's gone in for an exam. [he kisses SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Thank you, Kevin.
Kevin: [whispers] You too.
SpongeBob: [groans] He's gone. We're both alone there.
Kevin: [groans] You better not mess up, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: If you do, I'll end up taking a pill just to make you jealous.
Kevin: Yeah, I'll take your word for it. It's a sweet thing you've done for me, but you have done nothing for me.
SpongeBob: And what's that good for?
Kevin: Nothing, SpongeBob. Nothing.
SpongeBob: Oh, it's nothing, it


SpongeBob: Hang in there buddy, the chopper's on the way!
Patrick: SpongeBob! My legs are frozen solid! You're going to have to cut them off with a saw! [Squidward begins to sweat] SpongeBob: No! Why would you ever want to cut off my legs, Squidward? Squidward: [snaps and stands] SpongeBob! No! Cut them off!
Patrick: Hey, hold it there! I'll stop that, right? Squidward: [shakes head and looks away] No, I'm not holding it. Wait, I didn't just say that! Why don't you tell me more?
Patrick [shakes head]: Look, you can't cut off my legs without my consent! No! You can't just force me to walk home with my legs cut off without my consent. That is abuse of a child! I'll stop you right now! [gets the phone and dials an answering machine, but after a few rings Squidward interrupts him]
SpongeBob: Hey, hey!
Squidward: Well, you've finally arrived. I hope you got enough money for a

Squidward: [SpongeBob is running down the hallway] SpongeBob?! SpongeBob?! [SpongeBob enters his bedroom] And why aren't you in uniform? [SpongeBob exits room and re-enters in a maid outfit] It's about time you got here!
SpongeBob: [sardonically] Here you go, Your Majesty. [SpongeBob takes a bath]
SpongeBob is sitting on a log on the beach with a piece of candy in his hand. There is a bottle of champagne on the beach with a ring on SpongeBob's finger.
SpongeBob: [Singing and dancing around the beach] It's about to be a good day on the sea. [He starts to dance with the bottle in his hand] [End of the episode]

Squidward: That lemon has three seeds in it. That's an odd number! I can't eat anything odd numbered.
SpongeBob: Fine, I'll just take it out. [takes out lemon and Squidward gets mad] Don't eat it! I like lemon.
Rarity: [turns on light but is no longer in the kitchen] It's not very useful, is it? You'll have to use me. [picks up lemon]
SpongeBob: Okay! I'll accept this! [holds up the lemon]
[He tries to use the lemon but the light doesn't stay in it] SpongeBob: [tries to use the lemon again] It can't go to three!
Squidward: This is an odd number. [picks up the lemon again and it goes to three again]
SpongeBob: [tries to punch the lemon] I don't hate you!
[The lemon stops moving. SpongeBob is confused and runs back to the refrigerator.]
SpongeBob

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's obvious that ya put the dime in me pants. Dimes just don't fly into people's pants.
Squidward: Are you accusing me of something? [SpongeBob puts the maid costume back on over his clothes]
Squidward: [laughs] You could have just picked up a $100 bill and stuffed it up your arse.
Mr. Krabs: You could not buy me a $100 bill without violating a federal law!
Squidward: [laughs] You're so stupid, SpongeBob, I can't afford to buy you another one!
Mr. Krabs: Then you really must be a horrible person, can't you?
SpongeBob: I can't afford it, I can't afford it! It's ridiculous, it's ridiculous! A penny, it's a penny! That's all I've got! [gasp]
Mr. Krabs: A "Penny" is not a "pound."
SpongeBob: Oh, I see. So a pound is just two

SpongeBob: Plankton? Oh, Plankton, I just had the craziest dream, and you were in it.
Plankton: I'm sure it was nothing. [Plankton has a candy cane mustache, he takes a lollipop off him, throws it] Now, go back to sleep.
Kraid: [off screen] Yeah, I think I'm just gonna go for a walk with my buddy...
Candyman: [off screen] Wait, you're not walking? Why are you so mad?
Kraid: [off screen] I'm just... [Kraid grabs his hat, throws it, and goes back to sleep]
SpongeBob: Plankton, are you still...
Plankton: Yes, I am. SpongeBob: Where am I, Plankton?
Plankton: ...behind you, in the moon.
SpongeBob: And you're still in a stupid dream? [Plankton points at the moon]
Plankton: Yes, I am, and this is the reason I'm not on my land.

SpongeBob: Sorry.
Bubbles: Now-- [clicks] I am going to lose my job! And you... will lose your lives. [tries to destroy SpongeBob and Plankton and they make a run for their time machine]
Bubbles: Don't you-- I just wish they had the strength-- [he is hit by Plankton]
[SpongeBob screams as he gets hit by Plankton and dies.]
[Scene: Squidward's Apartment, Squidward's Room] SpongeBob: I'm tired of being the cool guy at the party, Squidward! I know we've got plenty of cool guys at this party, but I'm the cool guy here! I'm the cool guy, squidward! I have everything-- I have a job at the Krusty Krab. A real career that makes a lot of money! And I can talk about it all day, it's amazing, huh? Oh, but I'm cool like that, even if it gets us all killed and-- [Squidward


SpongeBob: Sorry.
Bubbles: Now-- [clicks] I am going to lose my job! And you... will lose your lives. [tries to destroy SpongeBob and Plankton and they make a run for their time machine]
Bubbles: Wait, what are you doing? You are losing all the jobs.
Rattlesnake SpongeBob: [to himself] Oh, I don't know how it works, but you keep the doors to the time machine open. You go into a room. When the button next to the time machine is pressed, the doors open. I'll just--
Mr. Krabs: [as SpongeBob's eyes dart back from the time machine] I think it's time to get going.
SpongeBob: [screaming] You don't understand. You're not even human! [Mr. Krabs gets on the phone to his sister, Mrs. Puff, who is holding her mother's hand] I am a cyborg. A cyborg, with a head that's as

SpongeBob: Well, Bubbles, I'm glad we could help.
Bubbles: Now, it is my turn to help. I can get you safely to the surface. Now-- [clicks] Quick, all of you. Get in my mouth.
Squidward: Wait! What are you doing?
Bubbles: I'm going to give you some of the power of my tongue. [Bubbles bites his neck. SpongeBob and Patrick gasp.] It's awful, sir!
Squidward [offscreen]: What's wrong?
Bubbles: It's fine. You're all right. I just wanted to see how you felt.
Patrick: Hey, what the hell are you doing?! [Squidward grabs SpongeBob and Patrick and starts trying to crush them]. Patrick! Put that thing away! Squidward! What the hell are you doing?!
Bubbles: I have come to offer some of the power of my tongue, sir. If you are willing to swallow it, that is.
Squidward: Oh


SpongeBob: Don't be sad, Squidward. I left you a little surprise under your shirt!
Squidward: [he lifts up his shirt to show that he has...] Rock-hard abs! [puts his shirt down then playfully punches SpongeBob's arm] Aw, SpongeBob, you're okay in my book. Your muscles are strong! Your bones are sturdy! You're more rock-hard than an Olympic athlete! You just won't crack. [stops to let SpongeBob finish]
In a video clip, one of the characters, Mr. Krabs, has a dream about Squidward's body, saying that "the dream has come true." In the video, Mr. Krabs is on a beach, while SpongeBob and Patrick are playing a tennis match, and he gives a motivational speech in the background. Mr. Krabs says, "Squidward is dead. It's all thanks to one of my workers. The same worker." He then shows a picture of Squidward on a table. Squidward looks on with an amazed smile, his eyes closed. Mr. Krabs says to his workers, "We're all