Non-Humans Welcome (A Monster Girl Story)

Though Ondřej had his back turned when the double doors of Očistec Spirits & Kitchen swung open, he could tell from the slight rise in room temperature, and the way they took a deep breath the moment they entered, just who was brightening his door.

“Oh, it smells awful in here!”

"Nice to see you, too, Aneta."

"You always say that."

"Only because it's always true." Ondřej chuckled while his co-worker sat at the stool across from him and plopped her cheek on the counter, her head tilted at an angle where she could watch the football game. "What can I get you? The usual?"

"You got it."

"Rough night, then?" He poured a glass of her favorite lager as she watched.

"Let's just say we aren't going on a second date." The glass was empty in mere seconds, then her head was back in its place. "I mean, c'mon, if you're gonna act like you're interested in what I have to say just so you can ogle my tits, then at least have the decency to do it while I'm looking atcha, not away."

"Sometimes it can't be helped. God has certainly bles't your chest, but not everyone's as ready to openly admit it as we are."

"Poetic as ever, Ondřej. No wonder you're still a virgin."

"Hey, now! Well, yeah, you're right."

They both laughed, drawing the eyes of what few patrons chose to hang around on a weeknight, or any night for that matter.

"Thanks for always having a shot ready when I need it. I know it's hard to-"

"I'm here to serve, what can I say?"

"-no, I mean, like, it's hard to be friends with… you know…"

"A woman of your persuasion?"

"-yeah."

Aneta was a hellhound. As a matter of fact, everyone in the pub but Ondřej was a non-human of some sort or another. Although they'd been living in the open for several decades now, in a place like Vojvoda Krok where a "humans only" sign hanging in the windows of shops were a common sight, it was still scarce to see a place that encouraged them openly, yet the staff of Očistec had done just that since two years ago when they installed a plaque reading "non-humans welcome" over the doors, and even recently hired Aneta, a long-time regular, as their first non-human employee. Both of these moves, however, were not without vocal opponents.

"We manage. Someone spray painted over the windows again while you were gone, you know."

"Again? What'd it say?"

"'Monster fuckers'. Nothing I haven't heard before. Luboš thinks it might be the same guy as last time."

"At least they didn't break the windows this time, though, right?"

"If you think about it that way, I guess. It's a little weird sometimes, but-"

"But we appreciate it!" A lamia, one of a group of four who were all long past sober, shouted over them, shot glass in outstretched arms. "Oh, and another one! Please!"

"This is your sixth shot, ma'am," said Ondřej as he redirected his attention, "are you sure?"

"Eeeeeh, I'm fat, I can take it," said the lamia, quite slurredly. "Load me up!"

Ondřej shrugged and replaced her empty glass with one filled to the brim with vodka.

“Thankies!” She turned to rejoin her party, but looked back. “Oh, hey, dog lady, you work here, don’tcha?”

“That’s right,” Aneta nodded in affirmation, somewhat annoyed.

“This guy is really cool.” The lamia pointed to Ondřej. “You two should, like, make out.”

“We- what?!” Ondřej barely caught the glass he dropped in surprise.

“You heard me. What’s the matter?” said the lamia.

“…I don’t like to think about that sort of thing,” said Ondřej.

“Well, ya should. It’d be cool! Or hot. Or maybe kinda lukewarm.” She jumped back into their giggle-filled gathering without missing a beat. Ondřej looked back to Aneta, who, while silent, was as visually troubled as he was. He wanted to speak to change the subject, but unable to find appropriate words he instead took the moment to study her face. As per usual, she was beyond gorgeous, although he would never say such a thing. He smiled, and his heart fluttered as she looked back to him.

“Can I get another one?” She tapped her empty tumbler.

“Oh!” Ondřej nodded. “Yes, right away.”

No, it was best not to think about it. She was out of his league, as was everybody else, and he accepted that. It was better off if he just didn’t try, that way he wouldn’t have to risk getting hurt, as he had been before, and like she had been with each man she went out with. He wanted her, but he didn’t want to be like her.

And yet, being apart from her was just as painful.

…

“Do it! Do it!”

“Ladies, please, you should really go home.”

Ondřej was about fed up with this blatant harassment. Every time one of these lamiae had returned for another round, they’d continued to tease Ondřej and Aneta, suggesting that they make out, among many other things involving their mouths and the rest of their bodies. Now that Očistec was officially closed they had decided to linger, and were now chanting and refusing to leave until they had kissed at least once.

“Should I call security?” said Ondřej to Aneta, who was hiding the amusement on her face with her hands. Aneta looked at the crowd, then back to him, and uncovered her face.

“No, that wouldn’t be cool.” She hopped over the counter to him. “You know what? I think we should oblige them.”

“Are you serious?” Ondřej took a step back as Aneta stepped forward. He then realized that he sounded excited, and tried to play it off. “Th-that’s unprofessional!”

“Yes! She’s going for it!” one of the lamiae cheered as she pointed frantically, further encouraging the rest.

Aneta seized the sides of Ondřej’s head.

“Don’t disappoint me,” she whispered. Ondřej didn’t object, quietly surrendering as he was pulled into a kiss, while the lamiae whooped as if they had just witnessed a wombo combo. As short as it was, Ondřej savored it, and was disappointed after Aneta pushed them apart so quickly, and that she didn’t take it further.

“Good job,” said Aneta, “you passed the test.”

“Y-you too.” It took Ondřej several seconds to remember that there were more people in the room than just the two of them. “Alright, there, we did it. Go home.”

The lamiae finally complied, shuffling out the door amid shouts of, ‘Best drunk night out ever!’ and, ‘We need to do this more often!’ until they were all out the door and Ondřej locked it behind them.

“We should’ve been home by now.” Ondřej sighed.

“At least we got to do something fun, right?” said Aneta.

“You- what?! You actually enjoyed that?”

“You know, you’re really bad at hiding how you feel about things. You see, I- pff-” She laughed heartily until she was clutching her sides. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just- you’re so cute when you get embarrassed! I should’ve told you earlier, but- whew. Okay, so, I’ve got a pretty good nose, and the thing is, I can smell how a person’s feeling, in a way. And when I’m around you, well, you smell the same way that guys do when they’re crushing on me.”

The ruse was over, although it now seemed it was never working to begin with. Ondřej’s face was red. Tonight was proving to be stressful.

“You shouldn’t worry about it. It’s better off if we don’t try.”

“Seriously? You know, I remember you had a girlfriend before you guys first put that sign up, and your eyes sparkled every time you talked about her. What happened to her?”

He hated that she was throwing salt in the wound, but he bit down on his anger as he answered back.

“She dumped me because she hated non-humans. She saw you with me, and she saw the sign, and thought Luboš and I were just trying to pick up immigrants. So she left… I can’t get over her.”

“Really? She sounds like a total dumbass.”

“Don’t say that about her!”

“Come on, let’s talk like people.” Aneta approached Ondřej again. “She gets jealous over a sign and you talking to a customer, and ignores the fact that you’re a prude who can’t even hear the word ‘romance’ without getting blushy about it, and how you brag about her to said customer? Absolute waste of time.”

“D-don’t you think there are other guys who-”

“All the other guys I’ve gone out with just get off to the prospect of getting in bed with a monster girl. I can smell it. They don’t care about who I am, they just care about what I am. But you! Ondřej, I see the way you look at me, and you look at my face, and you smile just because you’re spending time with me, and you listen to my problems, and you understand them, and you relate to them! You- you are significant other material if I’ve ever seen it. The fact that you’re trying so hard to be chivalrous right now should say enough about that.”

As Aneta drew closer, backing him up until he was against the wall, Ondřey could feel the shield around his personal bubble disappearing. At the same time, as the heat of her body enveloped him, the flame of desire that had been flickering in the back of his mind at the thought of her had become a raging blaze that took every ounce of self-control to contain.

“Are you sure?” he said in one last feeble effort to defend his irrational thinking. “I mean, you’ve had quite a lot to drink and-”

“Quit being dumb! You know hellhounds can down a whole gallon and be fine. This is how I always feel.” She leaned closer. “I- I want you, always.”

Ondřej spun through the windmills of his mind to find something else, anything else, to think about that would help him keep his composure, but as he continued to look into Aneta’s eyes, not only had the temperature around him risen, but his heart rate had as well. Almost reflexively, as she wound her arms around his neck, he found his own arms sliding down to rest on her hips. He had worked so painstakingly until now not to think about it, but the thumping pulse in his chest wouldn’t let him deny it any longer. He wanted her too.

“You’re right.” Ondřej touched his forehead to hers. “I, uh, like you a lot.”

“I knew it.” Aneta shut her eyes, biting her lip briefly before puckering them. There was no turning back. Lifting one hand and caressing her cheek, Ondřej leaned forward and kissed her with genuine passion. The sensation of her lips was remarkable, like sharp cinnamon candy tinged with liquor. Normally it may have been a bitter combination, but at that moment it was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted, and with her pucker curling into a smile Aneta silently reciprocated the sentiment.

“You know,” Aneta said when they finally pulled apart, “I’ve been waiting years for that to happen.”

“The last one didn’t count, then?” said Ondřej.

“This time was better. You actually tried.”

Before either of them could continue, there was a pounding on the window. The culprit was wearing a mask (although from the shape of their body and length of their hair it seemed a young woman, or perhaps a man with a severe testosterone deficiency), clutching a can of spray paint, and shouting muffled slurs at the two blossoming lovers. Ondřej had an idea.

“Seriously?” said Aneta. “We should’ve gone in the ba-” she gasped as Ondřej pulled her into another kiss, practically smashing her face against his. He flicked his tongue across her lips, an invitation she accepted and repeated, as their tongues slipped into each other’s mouths. Just the action alone was exciting, but as Ondřej explored Aneta’s mouth he felt his own heating up, which only served to excite him even more, and in a fit of pleasure pressed her body against his, making Aneta moan loudly. A minute felt like an eternity before she gently broke it off, wiping away a trail of saliva with her arm.

“Can,” Aneta struggled to speak between pants, “can we take a break?”

“Let’s ask,” said Ondřej. “Hey,” he shouted to the bigot outside, who had been watching the whole time, “should we keep going?”

They rubbed their collarbone before departing, spray can and all.

“Hmm, I guess it's a 'no'.”

“They looked kinda hot and bothered just now,” said Aneta. “Serves’m right.”

“Fine with me. Maybe next time they’ll ask to join in.”

Their laughter filled the empty pub as the first light of dawn shined through the windows.