Arena Funtime 4 For want of an ice pun

Numerous fight proceed as I freak out internally. Before long, there's not many people left. The fat guy was raped by a Succubus with a fetish for pegging, the Lumberjack was violated by a Arachne that made him a sweater afterwards, and the guy with tires for armor was tenderized by a Bear girl with green hair and a severe attitude issue.
Albert pats me on the shoulder while drinking a Sprite and reverting to a younger age, "What's the matter with you? Did that Succubus shake you up THAT much?" I hang my head down and try my best not to break down, "Yes."
The wizard cracks a smile and sighs, "So what if she uses style and whatever as a power? I'm sure if it came down to it you could whip her." How? My level of style can't match hers...I'm doomed!
I try to curl up into a ball and forget my troubles, but the intercom loudly catches our attention, "Joe Shepard please enter the arena."
Oh great, just wonderful. I stand up and walk towards the arena. Albert waves at me while opening a can of Dr. Pepper, "Good luck!"
I walk into the arena, where I'm greeted by a crowd of booing monsters and humans. Some of them have written signs with "Go home!, "ASSHOLE!", "Here's my address: #^#@$#!", and "My dog ate my homework. Can I have a few more days to complete it?!" on them.
I can see Clara waving a large sign around with "Don't Fret!" written on it. Seeing that slightly cheers me up. SLIGHTLY.

??

A cold wind followed by snow cuts through my clothes and violates my skin, causing me to shiver violently from the assault. Why is it so cold in here?! Did someone mess with the thermostat or something?!
"For our quarter finals, we have Joe VS Natasha the Yuki Onna!" The Announcer shouts loudly in his thick accent as a pale woman with blue hair enter the arena. Everyone cheers loudly for her, resulting in her bowing at everyone.
A Yuuki Onna?! God damn it, that explains why it's so cold! I've got to finish this quickly!
The Snow Woman eyeballs me before smiling in an alluring manner, "You're easy on the eyes, handsome." She takes a couple steps towards me before winking at me, "You'll make a pretty good fuck, no?"
"I don't think so, lady." I waggle my finger at her, before taking of my shoe and throwing it. It doesn't go very far before hitting the ground.
Crap.
I turn around and try to run away from the Frigid girl, but with the cold sapping my strength that's a little hard to do. She slowly follows me while chuckling loudly. What can I do here? Maybe I can jump away? "TOH!" I shout loudly while attempting to increase the distance between us by jumping. It doesn't work, though. The cold is messing with my ability to jump around like a circus performer! That Bitch!
Looks like I may have to confront her directly... I had hoped it wouldn't have had to come to this. But what must be done, must be done.
Clara is going to probably kill me for what I'm about to do... I stop running around and begin shuffling through the cold snow, that now reaches my shins, and confront the Yuki Onna face-to-face. She cracks a cold smile while leering at me, "No longer running? And here I thought you were giving me the cold shoulder!" I reach out my hand and try to grab her, but she effortlessly sidesteps me and maneuvers around to my back, where she begins to breath onto the nape of my neck and rub her icy hands across my back in a sensual manner.
"Stop that!" I shake her off and try to grab her once more, but she takes a step back and watches me grab at thin air with a devious smile plastered on her face before running out of sight. Dammit, this isn't working! What can I do-
Wait, I can just let her get close once again, grab her, and deal with her from there! Why the hell didn't I do that in the first place?!
I stand in place and wait for the Ice Woman to come close once again. I hope this works...
She suddenly appears from behind and begins biting my ear lobe while fondling my crotch, "Don't feel like chasing me anymore? Such a shame, I liked your energy." I take this opportunity to turn around and grab her by that bathrobe thing she's wearing, then bring her close and hold her down with my left arm. This sudden turn of events causes her to gasp loudly in surprise.

?

Every last ounce of surprise leaves her as a smile forms on her pale face. "Oh my, it seems you've caught me~" She speaks in a lewd manner while staring into my eyes. I pop each finger on my right hand with my thumb in preparation for what's about to happen, and reach my hand down to her nethers. However, I end up grabbing her butt instead. For the love of god, righty...
"Oh my~" she speaks out as my fingers dig into her firm butt. "Sorry, I meant to go-" I move my hand around and begin to rub the entrance of her snatch, "-Here!"
"H-hah..." She moans and squirms slightly from a mere touch of my somewhat warm hands. I'm barely touching her and she's moaning already? Hmmm. I sink a finger into her box, which makes her jump in surprise, and begin to feel around inside of her. Feels like I'm fingering a slushy, to be honest. I continue to finger her slush hole, adding in another finger as time goes by and even massaging her button with my thumb. She quivers and leaks copious fluids onto my hand and pants as this goes on. At some point her tongue lolled out of her mouth as well...
She's pants heavily and rocks her hips as my fingers work her insides with masterful skill. Before long, she experiences a a trembling orgasm, squirts all over my pants, and goes limp. I gently lay her onto the ground and point at her with my hand, which is encased in a layer of frozen Yuki Onna juices, "You're right, I am a hand-some."
The crowd is a mixture of cheering, booing, and an assortment of sexual noises. I can feel Clara glaring at me from the stands as I hobble back to the inside of the Arena in my frozen pants. I sit down next to Albert after breaking the ice off of my pants and heave a heavy sigh.
Albert takes a good look at my shivering body and tired eyes, "You look like hell, man."
"I feel like it." I respond without turning. I just want to go home, crawl into a hot bath, and forget about the last fight...

"Jeff Hogar, please enter the arena." The intercom calls forth another. We watch as a man with an over sized sword, spiky hair, and at least 20 belts gets up and leave towards the central part of the arena. We look at the TV as the Announcer speaks up after taking a giant bite out of something sloppy, "For our next match, we have Jeff Hogar VS Diana!" The guy takes another loud bite out of something, "This is a good Manwich."
The battle was over before we can even blink. The man with the over sized sword is brutally smacked in the face by a chain with a lock attached to the end of it. He's then wrapped up by the same chain, and smashed into the various walls inside the arena. Ouch. A team of medics carry the man out as Diana returns inside with an obviously bored expression on her face.
"And with that the Quarter finals are over! In a little bit we'll start the semi finals! Please use this time to go to the bathroom, get a snack, or vent that sexual frustration before the next match!" The Announcer speaks up through the TV before cutting to a show about young Dog Girls playing in a laundry basket.
"You scared, Joe?" Albert speaks up, surprising me a little. I chuckle lightly and turn my head in his direction, "Would it be wrong to say 'Yes'?"
"Not even a little." The man with a centaur fetish says while patting my shoulder with a smile. I wish Lou was here... I wonder what happened to him? Probably off in Mexico with that Unicorn...
Wait.
Wait.
Unicorn?! Lou was a virgin?! He's almost 40 AND he's still a virgin?! My face contorts and twists from this information.