TechnicolorShortie

(TF) Celestia and Luna pick on humans for fun 5 (A)

Nov 23rd, 2012
526
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  1. >waiting is always a pain in the ass
  2. >doesn't help that there are more than a few snobbish unicorns running about
  3. >you could feel the racism and utter sense of superiority oozing off them like venom
  4. >wait, you recognize a couple of them
  5. >ha! Each one is somep0ny you've dumped water on
  6. >small world
  7. >oh look the monster is here too, big surprise
  8. >he's currently wetting one of his pointy appendages with his mouth and sticking it into the ears of random ponies
  9. >you quietly chuckled when he did it to one of the unicorns, but quickly moved to ignore him when one caught you acting like a foal
  10. >if looks could kill...
  11. >how much longer is this damn line?
  12. >oh whoops, Joe is trying to get your attention, better see what he wants
  13. >"Shiner did you hear me? We're supposed to go to the waiting room now." Joe says while waving a hoof in front of your face
  14. >you totally got lost in your own world there
  15. >somehow you're not surprised, though you don't really recall that happening before
  16. >you bet it's because of that monster
  17. >the dreams, the way he's acting, the fact he's been around since you woke up in that field, and not to mention the weird feelings you can't quite place
  18. >you're about to go on but a hoof has just struck you in the back of the head
  19. >"Equestria to Shiner! You in there? Quit spacing out and let's get going."
  20. >you spaced out again
  21. 1/6
  22.  
  23. >the two of you make your way into the waiting room, apparently you have to wait just to go to a waiting room in order to even begin your business at the castle
  24. >there are many services available to the public in the castle, but they're all so busy and they can't just let the public run around that freely
  25. >if you're after services like you and Joe are you have to go to reception, let them know what kind of service you're looking for, and they'll send you to the specific office that handles issues related to the one you're there for
  26. >it's somewhat efficient since they aren't horribly bogged down by everyp0ny and the workers can specialize in specific areas giving them a much greater chance at helping you
  27. >one of the bigger problems is that tourists always gather there too
  28. >there's always a tourist group or 5 running around trying to locate stuff or get acquainted with the city's wonders
  29. >they also always mistake the public office for the place you go in order to get an audience with the princess
  30. >you could tell the receptionist who helped you and Joe had heard those questions before
  31. >if answering such nonsense could shave years off a pony they would be as old as Celestia herself
  32. >so much history you've been re-familiarizing yourself with
  33. >anything to pass the time as the two of you make your way into the next waiting room
  34. >Joe seemed content to let you daydream it seems, he hasn't spoken a word
  35. 2/6
  36.  
  37. >you do have a lot to think about, although none of it should've been history you already knew
  38. >for some reason it felt like a new experience
  39. >but that can't be right since memory tells you that your job first started here
  40. >being the number 1 window washer in Canterlot all began at the castle
  41. >you didn't work in the castle, but you did have to get your business started legally and officially somehow
  42. >Joe motions you over to a couple seats and you two begin the waiting game again
  43. >the monster followed you as well, go figure
  44. >you wouldn't have noticed him if he didn't make fart noises and slapping his side with his claws trying to form some tune
  45. >not to be content with that he also started making noises towards passing mares and talking about how he would "ruin that flank with hot monkey dick"
  46. >a little part of you died on the inside
  47. >you just know you had created him somehow since the doctor didn't notice his presence during your visit
  48. >the doctor used his magic to see if he could determine if there actually was something running around or just a hallucination as he thought
  49. >not that he really helped or anything, he didn't even recommend you to a specialist
  50. >he actually let you walk out of that office with a problem and zero consultation as to what you should do
  51. >it wasn't all bad though, the monster gave him a piece of his mind in different ways
  52. >shouting into the stethoscope, thrusting his pelvis into the docs face at the right angle, and making obnoxious faces while he mimicked what the doc said
  53. >you wish you hadn't chuckled at that
  54. 3/6
  55.  
  56. >Joe sits next to you patient as can be, you don't know how he's doing it
  57. >the wait is killing you and the monster is making the rounds trying to get as much of your attention as possible
  58. >this thing is not only obscenely depraved, but he has the attention span of a damn fly
  59. >how in the name of Celestia did your mind even concoct the visage of this freakish beast?
  60. "Hey Joe, I was wondering something... well not really, but I need to get my mind of the current hallucination going on."
  61. >Joe turns to look at you and cocks an eyebrow
  62. >"Uhh sure, what's eating you. Other than the obvious that is." Joe chuckles nervously
  63. "I'm just curious as to why you came after me and even offered to come with me for this. I didn't know we were that great of friends or anything."
  64. >Joe scoffs before looking at you like you just asked him why his name is Doughnut Joe
  65. >"You're something else Shiner. Why wouldn't I care about my best customer? You've been coming to my shop each working day for years around lunchtime, not only that you've never given me trouble or been anything but friendly. You're a good kid and a good friend Shiner, that and I'd miss your business if I lost you."
  66. >ignoring the monster shouting the words "bullshit" you take in what Joe said
  67. >those words calmed you down a bit, just knowing somep0ny in a sea of uptight unicorns cared enough about you to stick by your side eased your stress noticeably
  68. >you start chuckling before breaking into a small bout of laughter
  69. >Joe joins in, but it's short lived when a couple unicorns glare at you
  70. "Thanks Joe, I really needed that. I guess dealing with these hallucinations really have me stressed out."
  71. >you sigh and look over to Joe who looks ready to ask a certain question
  72. 4/6
  73.  
  74. >here it comes
  75. >"So Shiner... if you don't mind me asking, what do these hallucinations involve anyway?"
  76. >there it is, dammit how do you explain this monster other than just that
  77. >a monster
  78. >a depraved psycho bent on pushing you to the edge and nudging you over by thrusting his pelvis into your hindquarters
  79. >thinking about it for a moment you finally look at him, trying to ignore the monster making faces behind him in the process
  80. "Well how do I describe it? It's a weird tall bipedal creature that stands nearly 6 feet tall and it's mostly hairless save for it's face and the mane is pretty short. It seems to wear clothes all the time and has the worst sense of decency."
  81. >you continue on occasionally looking at the monster as it seems to pose for you
  82. >damn thing is really mocking you now
  83. "It's like a hairless minotaur only 20 times as ugly. It's always doing strange and disturbing thing whenever it shows up. I even see it in my dreams and it does even creepier stuff. I really have no idea how this... -thing- came to be."
  84. >you put emphasis on the word "thing"
  85. >this freak had to know that he was nothing more than a imaginary creature created within the depths of your mind
  86. 5/6
  87.  
  88. >Joe looks a little confused and disturbed by what you told him
  89. >figures he wouldn't understand what kind of monstrosity the window washer before him created
  90. >you don't believe it either, but he can't even see the beast making lewd comments at the receptionist
  91. >Joe opens his mouth to answer, but somep0ny enters the room and announces your name
  92. >it's finally your turn
  93. >quickly sticking your tongue out at the monster, silently hoping nobody saw that, you two follow the pony further into the office
  94. >ever since waking up in that field your life and memories have felt so foreign... so unfamiliar
  95. >almost as though they weren't real, but at the same time they feel more real than all the dreams about the monster which give you the previous feeling
  96. >doubt started clouding your mind on day 2 and has been nagging at you silently ever since
  97. >now, though, you're gonna find somep0ny who can help you find the answers you need
  98. >hopefully you can do that before letting the pony ahead of you know your hallucination is curious about "the biggest she's taken so far"
  99. >this thing never lets up
  100. >you can only weep internally as you continue onward in your search for relief
  101. 6/6
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