The Millon Fluffy March

By The Reverend

>You are the President of the United States.
>You wake up early Monday morning to be greeted by a buxom young intern you’ve never seen before.
>You hate interns, but love having sex with them.
>Unsurprisingly, this has caused a scandal which has put you at a disadvantage in the upcoming election.
>The intern hands you today’s report of things to worry about.
>You fake a smile and wink at her as you take the report and head into the Oval Office.
>Tonight…her.
>Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary about today’s report.
>The war you started isn’t all the fun you thought it would be.
>The Congress can’t agree on anything.
>Fluffy ponies want a constitutional amendment granting them citizenship.
>Yep same as usu…
>You spit your coffee, staining your historic desk.
>You do a double-take.
>Fluffy ponies still want to be U.S. citizens.
>The smartest fluffies have organized a “Million Fluffy March”, scheduled for a month before the election.
>Your opponent will be attending the march as a show of support to the fluffies.
>You know that he wants them as voters, taking advantage of their large numbers.
>You thought your opponent was smarter than that.
>Cable news pundits seem to think it’s a great idea.
>You know cable new pundits aren’t smarter than that.
>You wait for the day to come, and watch on TV when it does.
>Fluffies have traveled from across the nation to assemble at the Lincoln Memorial.
>Even though many didn’t make it, the fluffies at the monument still number over one million.
>Your opponent has accepted the honor of introducing the movement’s leader.
>The fluffies cheer as their “smarty fwiend” concludes a speech even you thought was eloquent.
>You hear the crack of a rifle, and see the leader fluffy explode in a bloody mess.
>Your challenger tries to calm the crowd, but the fluffies have submitted to hysterics.
>Some are trampled in the chaos.
>Most drown in the reflecting pool in front of the monument.
>Only a few of the other “smart” fluffies survive.
>Some go on to be cable news pundits on fluffy rights issues.
>The FBI quickly locates the assassin, a non-fluffy pony with a chip on his shoulder.
>He claims to be a patsy.
>He gets shot by a vengeful fluffy while being moved from jail.
>As it turns out, fluff is the perfect place to hide a revolver.
>Conspiracy theories abound.
>A month after the failed fluffy march, you win re-election in a landslide.
>Spend the next four years getting high and having sex with interns.
>Life is good.