the great suppository/enema wars 2018

[4:18 PM] Merc1138: http://paizo.com/community/blog/v5748dyo5lkuz?Conditions
[4:19 PM] Merc1138: So no percentile to roll for a miss... just roll a flat d20 against a DC of 5. So that's good they finally understood how to use a d20 to replace percentile dice I guess?
[4:22 PM] Merc1138: the slowed condition makes sense with the action economy, and the buffs/debuffs not stacking and simply using the largest modifier also makes sense
[4:23 PM] Merc1138: but apparently now sickened means no potion for you
[4:36 PM] Leo the Assassin: sickened for no potions makes sense since you can't drink your monster energy drink if you're in the middle of puking
[4:36 PM] Eitan: wrong
[4:36 PM] Eitan: you drink pepto when you are sick
[4:36 PM] Leo the Assassin: cue "ya say that" from Gene in 3...2...1...(edited)
[4:36 PM] Eitan: you drink chicken broth and water and seven up when you are sick
[4:37 PM] Merc1138: none of which rely on your charisma to work
[4:37 PM] Leo the Assassin: bitch you can't drink anything if you're puking
[4:37 PM] Eitan: being sick does not make your esophagus seize up like a vice and prevent liquids from entering your body
[4:37 PM] Leo the Assassin: unless it is a magic pill that is enchanted with a spell deliberately designed to instantly make you stop puking
[4:37 PM] Merc1138: wait...
[4:38 PM] Merc1138: what if a sufficienctly intelligent character devises a plan to use a needle, connected to a tube, which is fed by a bottle suspended in the air?
[4:38 PM] Leo the Assassin: stomach don't care
[4:38 PM] Leo the Assassin: when stomach want purge stomach purge
[4:38 PM] Merc1138: can you mainline potions?
[4:38 PM] Leo the Assassin: all contents must go
[4:38 PM] Leo the Assassin: oh jesus christ
[4:38 PM] Eitan: two problems
[4:38 PM] Leo the Assassin: this is when you, as a GM, get worried when the players roll into a village and one of them casually ask how much IV needles cost(edited)
[4:39 PM] Eitan: 1. this:
First off, you're too sick to drink anything—including potions!
[4:39 PM] Eitan: 2.
Moreover, it doesn't go away on its own. Instead, you have to spend an action retching in an attempt to recover, which lets you attempt a new save to end the sickness.
[4:39 PM] Eitan: indicating that your puking is a voluntary action in an attempt to remove the sickness, meaning you are actively making yourself puke up whatever is making you sick
[4:39 PM] Merc1138: no @Leo the Assassin
[4:40 PM] Merc1138: it's really bad when your players start asking about how to make a potion into a solid to use as a suppository
[4:40 PM] Eitan: which, I don't even know how that is supposed to work when the thing making you sick is pure magic bullshit, are you puking up rainbows at that point?
[4:40 PM] Leo the Assassin: ...but...why not a pill...?
[4:40 PM] Leo the Assassin: SUPPOSITORY MORE EFFICIENT
[4:40 PM] Merc1138: because you can't swallow the pill
[4:41 PM] Merc1138: and no one wants to take acrobatics to be able to handstand while sickened to buttchug a potion
[4:41 PM] Leo the Assassin: but anyway, I think it's less you don't puke until you say you puke and more like you stand there with you hands on your knees, spitting, tell everyone to give you a minute
[4:41 PM] Leo the Assassin: or like
[4:41 PM] Eitan: except
[4:41 PM] Leo the Assassin: when you know you're gonna puke but you won't puke so you say fuck it and stick your fingers down your throat to get it over with
[4:41 PM] Eitan: according to their description, as long as you are willing to take the negative penalty to your dice
[4:42 PM] Eitan: you can just go on with your day... being sick
[4:42 PM] Merc1138: wait... actually there's a real world scenario that applies here
[4:43 PM] Merc1138: this one time I was really really hung over, and still really drunk at the same time. the idea of even drinking water was enough to get me ready to hurl. however... it was someone describing how green eggs and ham would be in real life that got me to puke on the ceiling
[4:43 PM] Merc1138: now after that, and then wondering how the hell that was going to get cleaned up, I was just fine
[4:44 PM] Leo the Assassin: sometimes you just gotta throw up
[4:45 PM] Genestealers: dammit you fucks
[4:45 PM] Genestealers: why do you assholes have me thinking of an efficient way to deliver potions via suppository
[4:45 PM] Genestealers: because your body absorbs that faster
[4:46 PM] Leo the Assassin: I'm thinking of playing some kind of dervish class that does the breakdancing thing where you do the splits and spin around while handstanding except holding swords in their feet and with a potion vial lodged in their ass
[4:46 PM] Merc1138: well it's not really that far out of line for this chat considering we've got a character in a PF game who plans on hotboxing a tent for buffs
[4:46 PM] Leo the Assassin: I mean technically that is a thing the rules allow you to do
[4:47 PM] Leo the Assassin: there are no rules for oral vs. anal consumption
[4:47 PM] Merc1138: hence why I said acrobatics for the handstand
[4:47 PM] Leo the Assassin: this is not FATAL
[4:47 PM] Merc1138: unless you've taken ranks in perform: dance
[4:47 PM] Eitan: ah, but see, if the rules are ironclad and absolute, then you'd just be some jackass breakdancing with a bottle up your butt
[4:47 PM] Eitan: since you can't take potions while sick no matter what
[4:48 PM] Leo the Assassin: then all my character speccing was for NOTHING!
[4:48 PM] Merc1138: sure, but Eddie Murphy has a song about that
[4:48 PM] Leo the Assassin: [throws thick, notated binder on the floor]
[4:48 PM] Merc1138: "I said potion, in your butt" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07P538K83iU