Yvenn's Journal

Entry 1:

It's been really nice here living in my master's mansion. Well, I just sleep in the servant's quarters, master Adaliz sleeps in the main bedroom, of course. But still, its nicer than just living in the streets or with the friendlier clans in the caves. Oh, but why did it have to be Solitude? I mean, no one remembers who I am, I died a long time ago so I guess they all forgot about me. That's okay though, its for the best I guess. At least Geon isn't here, he'd recognize me for sure, and then kill me if the stories about him are correct. I wish I could talk to him again, even just once, so I could tell him it wasn't his fault. Oh and my parents! I saw my mother by the market stalls yesterday, she looked like a vampire herself. But she couldn't be, of course. I asked one of the shopkeepers who she was, wanting to know if she's all right, and the shopkeep said she lost her child in some kind of monster attack almost a decade ago. She only comes out to buy food every week or so before disappearing back to her house. Sometimes her husband comes out too, but he's not any better. I really want to cry. I was hoping they'd have recovered but I guess not. I wish I could tell them I'm here and everything but I don't know. Maybe it would be best if they thought I was happy and at peace in Sovngarde or somewhere like that. But I don't want to end this entry on such sad thoughts, its probably not healthy. Do things like me have to worry about that actually? Its not like I can get sick, right? Well I'm going to do it anyway just in case. I actually made a new friend here! Well, I think? His name is Serinal. He's a Dunmer with some weird face paint on him. I think he's my master's bodyguard or personal servant or something? I dunno, but he said hello to me and we talk sometimes. Its weird though. Sometimes he's kinda rude and acts like I'm beneath him but other times he's really cool and friendly. I don't know what's up with him but its better than nothing, right?

Entry 2:

I've been familiarizing myself with the locals lately. Don't want any misconceptions about what I'm here for, haha. Well there's a few friends down in the sewer area in an enclosed basement. Undil's the first one I met. We both recognized each other's nature so we had a talk about stuff in the basement of the Winking Skeever and I made it clear that I meant no harm and wouldn't get in the way of whatever he was doing. Also I gave him some of my specially brewed blood potions as a gesture of good faith. I think he tolerates me now, so that's good. He also has a few people who also live in the same lair as him. Nimye's an elf who's pretty smart with alchemy, way smarter than me. She also makes blood potions, which is great since I don't have the free time to hunt as much as I used to, so its nice to have a fallback if I ever run out of my own supply. Too bad the blood is human. I guess if I don't participate in actually, you know, "extracting" the stuff then its okay to drink it, right? Maybe they get it from corpses they find like how I do it. I'm just going to assume that. There's also another one but I forget her name, she spends a lot of time outside the lair mingling with the citizens. Pardon my language, but she's a bit of a loose woman, or so Undil says. I heard him grumbling about it during one of my trips down to their base. They have so many books down there its unreal. I could spend hours reading all the stories if I didn't have to work for master Adaliz. I'll be sure to try and keep the vampires steered away from his home if I can also. I owe him a lot so I'd hate for something bad to happen to him.

Entry 3:

I thought I had a good grasp on the underworld here but gosh have I been surprised. Master Adaliz took Serinal and I to the Blue Palace on a business trip (really its just master Adaliz talking with the other nobles so they like him more and give him money for things, I don't really understand how it works but that's why I'm just a servant I guess). I had nothing to do so I was just waiting in the meeting hall while my master conversed with people, and I saw a woman in a robe walking around the place kind of near the edges. As she got closer I remembered seeing her from when I was a child. She accompanied the High King sometimes when he was out in the city, before he died I mean. Anyway uh next thing you know she actually was standing right above me and it was right then that I realized that she was the same as me, you know? She sort of politely suggested but actually threatened that I come with her to a secluded hallway so we could talk. This was something I'd done a lot when I meet others like me so it should have been normal, but there was something about her that made me shudder. I think she's really strong for a vampire. But I'm not going to dig into it. Anyway, I did what I usually do when a superior vampire wants to talk with me and did my best to seem as nonthreatening and servile as possible. They usually like it when I do that and I try to get on their good side while their mood is improved. This one was too smart for that though, she just told me I better tell her exactly what my plans are or she'd out me as a vampire and I'd die horribly, which she described in a lot of detail. So I just sort of acted exactly like I did before only I wasn't acting this time and told her I'm just a servant for one of the nobles and don't mean any trouble or have any plans and please don't kill me. I guess she seemed satisfied with the response because she let me go after that. Later I learned her name is Sybille Stentor, and she's the court wizard. Which is bad because I was looking for the court wizard because I wanted to learn more about conjuration. Maybe if I give her an offering she'll teach me some things? I'll give it a shot next time I have some free time.

Entry 4:

I'm gonna have to keep my head real low today. Nimye said another vampire from a lair near Dragonbridge said he heard from a traveler that the Volkihars will be doing business in Solitude for a few days. I know I try to get on good terms with the clans when I can but there's no way I'm going to try that with those guys. I know what they do to vampires who aren't part of their bloodline. I and Undil's group, and any other vampires in the city who keep an ear to the ground, will probably be laying low this week. No one wants to get noticed by a Volkihar. So I guess I'll be doing indoor duties this week. It probably won't be an issue anyway, since my master has started to notice that I'm better suited indoors than out. During the day I can barely run a hundred paces without stopping to breathe, thanks to the sun. Master Adaliz just thinks I'm weak and sickly, which I don't deny. I can still manage a steady jog though if I pace myself. Maybe as I grow older I'll be able to manage it better. Well not older like mortal older but um, well vampires seem to get stronger as they age, or maybe with the amount of blood consumed? I don't know. Anyway I'm actually writing this on a pile of furs on the ground in my master's room. He demands that I stay here today and tomorrow because he's working some big deal and needs me on hand to copy ledgers and contracts and stuff as he dictates them. I really want to go a good job and will try my best so he doesn't get rid of me. I think I hear him coming upstairs now so I'll finish this entry quickly and open the door for him so I'll seem really eager to help.

Entry 4 1/2:

It was actually Serinal wearing a wolf mask and he lunged at me as soon as I opened the door and I got scared. I think he's still laughing.

Entry 5:

My master took Serinal and I on a trip to Windhelm for business last week and I left my journal here so I guess I'm just going to write what happened now. He did what he usually does and talked to other nobles a lot so they would give him money, and I was left to my own devices while he was doing that. I kind of got lost and ended up in the poor part of the city and went to a bar to try and get my bearings. It was filled with Dunmer and I didn't think they liked me very much for some reason. But then one of them sat down next to me and I got kinda nervous, I thought I'd be mugged or something, but he actually just said hello and pointed out the pendant I was wearing, which was an amulet of Azura. I usually keep it hidden in my shirt but it must have slipped out. I hope no one else saw that before I arrived here or I might be arrested or something. Anyway he was wondering why a Nord would have something like that and I told him that I'm trying to be a worshiper of Azura but don't really know how to do that. I told him I try praying in my bed every night like you're supposed to do with the Divines but I didn't know if it was working. He did something weird with his face and turned away for a moment for some reason before breathing out really loudly and turning back. He said if I was really serious about Azura I should try and make a pilgrimage to a big statue that's supposed to be in the mountains somewhere. I think I might try that actually if I ever get the chance. There's no way he could know but I really need her help for a lot of things. I hear Daedra are more active with mortals than the Divines, so maybe she'll listen to me if I pray enough. I hope so.

Entry 6:

This was a strange day for me. Serinal was acting really nice to me for some reason, which usually means he's up to something. He suggested we go and spend our break at one of the local pubs, since there was nothing better to do. I took him up on it and we spent the day there. It was nice, actually. It felt good to have someone to talk to who wasn't looking at me like a hungry wolf, like my vampire friends. Anyway Serinal insisted we share a cup of ale, even though he knows I can barely handle it. But he really seems to enjoy drinking so I don't want to make him feel bad, so I also had some. I kind of forget what happened after that, but I remember tripping or something and almost running into some strangers. I thought they were gonna kill me but they actually just said hello and we started talking. They were actually pretty nice people, an adventuring band that was taking a break from killing monsters to rest at the bar. We actually were both interested in monsters and such. I've mostly been educated on them by books and them by seeing them, but we both knew some things the other didn't and had a really good time swapping knowledge. I think we're friends now? They left on a quest but I hope I run into them again. This was a really good day actually, but I'm also feeling really strange. Warm, I guess? Like right after I drink a blood potion, but without doing that. I haven't felt this way in a really long time. Is this what it felt like before I was a vampire, when I still had normal friends? I can't remember how that felt anymore. I mean I remember their faces but its just been so long. And Geon would probably kill me now if what I've heard about him is correct. He's become so scary. Its my fault he ended up like this, I'm a burden to everyone I don't deserve to feel like this. But I shouldn't think of such things, I'd only start to get upset again and I don't want to stain the paper like last time. I am going to keep thinking of happy things today and not let all that ruin it. I'll go see if master wants me to do anything for him now. Maybe I can cheer him up a bit too.