Why do you want to get married?
What traits are important to you? Come up with the 4 most important.
What type of lifestyle do you think you'd want to live? How often do you expect to purchase a
new car? Go out to eat? How important are those to you?
What does she do with friends?
● Does she like her job? Would she continue working or be a stay at home mother?
● What bothers you? How do you handle them?
● How does she deal with stressful situations?
● How does she handle having coworkers/teammates who don’t complete their fair share of the
work?
● If you were going to live somewhere else, where? Why? Where could you not imagine yourself
living?
● Where you see yourself in five years, and ten years, and how you hope to "get there."
● What gets you excited?
● How does she imagine her Shabbos table? Would you have guests? Do you like singing zemiros?
● Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Do you think you’ll ever do it?
● The most interesting experience you ever had at work or school.
● What size family would you want to have? You don't need a number, but there's a difference
between 2-4 and "as many as possible"
● Aspirations: What would you like to accomplish?
● What would you do if you won the lottery?
● Do you have a strong feeling about pets?
● When do you feel most relaxed? Most alive?

What's important to her
● Long-term career and family goals,
○ If she's a stay at home mother, until when? Work part time? Government programs?
○ Number of Kids
○ Raising and disciplining kids
○ Where do you want (or not want) to live? Brooklyn? Out of town?
○ Eretz Yisrael?
● TV/Movies/Non-Jewish music
● Opinions on college, kollel, working, learning
● How do you spend Shabbos - how do you envision it being?
● What type of school would you want your kids to go to? Kollel? College?
● What are the roles of a father? Mother? Husband? Wife?

What (4) values are most important to you?
● What do your parents do right? Do wrong? And likewise for yourself?
● What role do you see yourself taking within a community?
○ There are many possible levels of community involvement. For example, knowing
people, taking part in events, like baking after someone has a baby, or running a
community program.

● What are your similarities? Your differences? How can they be utilized? Where would they cause
problems?
● What makes you happy?
● What type of relationship do you have (and want to have) with your immediate and extended
family?
● What negative emotions do you most-frequently experience and how do you handle it?
● What do you enjoy? What are you proud of?
● Do you have any long-term goals? What are they?
● How do you manage your finances and spending habits?