pentious story

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #753
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I have something for you guys,
Been following the thread for a long while and at least before it turned to sht I liked alot of the content and wanted to make some of my own.
So I took an idea I posted before and finally got around to writing ch 01 on that, check it out if you like.
I'm a pentiousfg so it's snakestuff. Premise is essentially Despicable Me but with Pentious though I'm not planning to follow the movie exactly or anything.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31793722/chapters/78704191
From the summary.
>Pentious is caught in a tight spot after his flagship is destroyed right after the yearly purge. Harried on all sides and besieged by a rival warlord, he conscripts some little helpers for a hairbrained scheme that could single handedly turn the tide of battle. Soon though he finds he may have bitten off more than he can chew.

>The main idea of this story is taken from movie Despicable Me. Some tags will be added as the story progresses.

Any comments, tips or crits is appreciated.
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I like it
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It's good so far! I really like Sir Pent's characterization - not as bombastic as usual, but it definitely suits him.
Beatrice is an interesting rival to him - again, much more reserved than the maniacs you'd expect from Hell, and someone with common sense, to boot.
I'm looking forward to the rest!