The Fluffy Factory: Under New Management

>It's a slightly chilly Tuesday night, just after ten o'clock.
>You're driving the 'company truck', a silver Ford F-150 Lariat, toward the outskirts of town.
>Sarah is in the passenger seat.
>”How in the hell did we lose sixteen stallions and four mares last night?”
>You can't help but smirk as you recall the affair.
>Your investigation was aided by the culprit himself, a new stallion named Olive.
>According to Olive, there was a 'scawy noise' that came from his 'sniffy pwace' and caused a lot of 'bad poopies'.
“Olive sneezed, scared a bunch of them, and they shat into the faces of the fluffies sleeping behind them.”
>Sarah pinches the bridge of her nose.  “So they choked to death on shit.  God damn it, why are these things so fucking bad at living?
“Hey, if fluffies didn't die so often, we wouldn't have so many repeat customers.”
>”Sho-Sho no wan' die, Sho-Sho good fwuffy!”
>You and Sarah aren't alone on this excursion.  Her twin unicorns toddle about on the bench seat in the back.
>”We're not talking about you, Shokaku.  Damn it, two more days and we could have picked from the weaned foals.  Where is this herd again?”
“In the woods near the mall.  Rob said they looked pretty tame, but I guess we'll know soon enough.”
>”Doesn't matter.  Even if they have a smarty friend, I've got these two.”  She motions back at the babbling unicorns with a smile.
>Fifteen minutes later, you're in the mall parking lot.  It's virtually empty.
>You park the truck near the treeline and wait.
>If there are fluffies here, the noise would have disturbed them.
>Sure enough, after a few seconds, waddling clumps of color become apparent in the sodium vapor lights of the parking lot.
>You turn off the engine and get out, as does Sarah, and approach the herd.  Her unicorns remain in the truck, whining for her to come back.
>”Pretty big group,” she says, doing a quick headcount.  “Thirty.”
>Already, there is a pegasus approaching.  It has silver fluff and lime green eyes, mane, and tail.
>It also has puffed cheeks and spread wings.
>”Munstas go 'way!  Dis ow twee pwace!  Gif owwies to munstas!” it says.  Definitely male, definitely smarty, but a pegasus?
>You and Sarah just look at each other and blink.
>”You're the smarty friend?” she asks.
>”Dat wight!  Smawty fwiend say go 'way!  Fwuffies gif owwies if no go 'way!”
>You both scan the herd again.  There are only four, timid-looking unicorns.
>The majority of the herd are pegasus, with the rest being earth fluffies.
>All of them, save the smarty friend, stay in the back with three bloated pegasus dams, puffing their cheeks and stomping their front hooves.
>”This isn't even a fair fight,” Sarah chuckles, going back to the truck.
>She returns in short order with her twin unicorns.
>”New fwiends!” Zuikaku shouts happily, jumping around.
>The herd returns her calls, but their babbling is edged with anxious uncertainty.
>The smarty pegasus continues to display his displeasure, flapping his wings and puffing his cheeks.
>”New fwiends weave munstas!  Come wif fwuffies!  We go fin' gwassies 'way fwom munstas!” he says, attempting to persuade the twins.
>They blink at him, confused.
>”Munsta?  Dis not munstas, dis Mista and mommy!  Mommy gif sgettis and huggies!” Shokaku explains.
>There is a clamor of surprise from the herd when she says that.
>”Wan' sgettis!” one of the dams blurts out.
>”No!  Munstas no haf sgettis!  Munstas meanies!”
>Sarah crouches down.  Her unicorns immediately turn around and look up at her.
>”Mommy is sad,” she says lowly.
>”Nuuuuuu!  Why mommy sad?!” Zuikaku cries, hugging her black boot.
>She points over to the smarty pegasus, who is stomping his hooves as hard as he can at you.
>”That pony is being mean.  Mommy doesn't like that pony.”
>”Meanie poni make mommy sad!  No wike poni!” they growl cutely, looking at him.
>”Go beat him up.  That would make mommy very happy.”
>They move as though shot out of a cannon.  With puffed cheeks and sparking horns, they charge the smarty pegasus.
>You and Sarah step between those three and the rest of the fluffies to prevent a massed attack.
>Behind you, the twins are giving that pegasus hell.
>”Why new fwiends huwt smawty?!” he bawls.
>With Shokaku on one side and Zuikaku on the other, they buck him back and forth.
>Many days of foal training have given the unicorns powerful (for a fluffy) kicking ability.
>It's like watching fluffy tennis.
>”Meanie fwuffy make mommy sad!  Sho-Sho make meanie sad too!”
>”Zwee make mommy happy!  Zwee make meanie poni sad!”
>”Stop!  No gif owwies!  Fwuffy sowwy!” he cries, shedding his smarty mantle in an attempt to end his pain.
>”No!  No stop 'til mommy happy 'gain!”
>The rest of the herd moves forward a few feet, but retreats quickly when you and Sarah step forth.
>They are absolutely unwilling to leave the dams.  The smarty will have to fend for himself.
>”Owwies!  Why huwt weggies and wingie?!  Why huwt fwuffy?!”
>Shokaku has knocked the pegasus down and is stomping his foreleg.
>Zuikaku has a wing in her mouth, pulling on it and growling.
>He begins to shit himself in self-defense, or pain.  Hard to tell which.
>”All right, that's enough.  Mommy is happy again.”
>The twins cease their assault and mill about Sarah's legs, cheering for themselves.
>The smarty pegasus lays in a broken heap behind you, his dislocated wing flopping gently.
>He tries to get to his hooves, only to collapse when he puts weight on his injured legs.
>Sobbing, he curls up, sniffling apologies between his hiccups.
“You picked the colors you want?”
>She nods.  “Yeah, go grab the carriers while I take care of this.”
>While you do, you hear her speaking behind you.
>”Listen up, bitches.  These are your smarty friends now.  Do what they tell you, and nobody gets hurt...especially your mommy fluffies.”
>”No huwt mummas!  Pwease!  Fwuffies wissen new smawty fwiends!”
>You get back just as she issues instructions to her twins.
>”Mommy says fwuffies come hewe!” Shokaku blurts out.
>Hesitantly, the herd begins approaching.  The dams bleat loudly about being left behind.
>”Is okay, no huwt mummas if do wha Sho-Sho say!”
>Sarah begins pointing out fluffies.  You grab them and toss them into the pet carrier.
>”Why take fwiends?!  New smawty fwiend say no huwt!” they cry.
>Some begin to waddle back toward the woods.
>”Zwee huwt mummas if no do wha say!”
>They whine nervously, but return and stay put.  The dams in the treeline are in full panic mode, shrieking about the safety of their babies.
>Once the carrier is full, you take it back and set it in the truck bed and return to start on the second carrier.
>Sarah continues to select fluffies from the nervous, babbling clump.
>”No take sissy!” a peach pegasus bawls.
“Quiet.”
>”Hell, take her too, I've never seen one that color.”
>You shove the crying fluffy into the carrier.
>”Sissy!  Fwuffy go wif!” she yells happily.
>By the time you're done, you have two pet carriers full of fluffies crying about bad poopies and complaining about being squished.
“Ready to go?”
>Sarah nods as she puts her fluffy enforcers back into the truck.
>You drive off into the night, the remnants of the herd screaming at you about taking their new smarty friends.
>The pegasus lays bleeding and sobbing in the parking lot as his former followers ignore him entirely.