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Dinosaur

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Dinosaur
Mar 12th, 2012
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  1. bind pub o|o ^ks proc_kicks
  2. bind pub o|o ^kbs proc_kickbans
  3. bind pub o|o ^DECAPITATION proc_decap
  4. bind pub -|- ^DICEDUEL proc_duel
  5. bind pub o|o ^LAZOR proc_lazor
  6. bind pub o|o ^GOATSE proc_g
  7. bind pub o|o ^DERP proc_derp
  8. bind pub -|- ^DINO proc_dino
  9. bind pub -|- ^NOTION proc_not
  10. bind pub -|- ^gayfor proc_gay
  11. bind pub -|- ^RAEP proc_raep
  12. bind pub -|- ^LOVE proc_love
  13. bind pub o|o ^MORDOR proc_mord
  14. bind pub o|o ^BEARTRAP proc_bear
  15. bind pub o|o ^HUH_ proc_huh
  16. bind pub o|o ^SAS proc_sas
  17. bind pub o|o ^DICKINBUTT proc_dib
  18. bind pub o|o ^COCKS proc_cocks
  19.  
  20. proc proc_kicks { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  21. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Methods are \: \002 ^DECAPITATION ^DICEDUEL ^LAZOR ^GOATSE ^DERP ^SAS ^DICKINBUTT \002"
  22. }
  23.  
  24. proc proc_kickbans { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  25. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Methods are \: \002 ^RAEP ^MORDOR ^BEARTRAP ^HUH_ ^COCKS \002"
  26. }
  27.  
  28. proc proc_dib { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  29. global botnick
  30. if {[onchan $text]} {
  31. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  32. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :8:::::::::D~~~$text"
  33. putquick "KICK $chan $text :Eat my love juice"
  34. putquick "INVITE $text $chan" }
  35. }
  36.  
  37. proc proc_sas { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  38. global botnick
  39. if {[onchan $text]} {
  40. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  41. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :This is $text http://imgur.com/Hsmxw"
  42. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Roses are grey, Violets are grey"
  43. putquick "KICK $chan $text :$botnick hates socks and sandals"}
  44. }
  45.  
  46. proc proc_raep { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  47. global botnick
  48. if {[onchan $text]} {
  49. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  50. set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan]
  51. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032RAEP unzips pants......."
  52. putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask"
  53. putquick "KICK $chan $text :You have been brutally raeped by RAEP"
  54. after 2000
  55. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032I think he died"
  56. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
  57. }
  58.  
  59. proc proc_cocks { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  60. global botnick
  61. if {[onchan $text]} {
  62. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  63. set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan]
  64. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :COCKS."
  65. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :http://i.imgur.com/ddse1.gif"
  66. after 3000
  67. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\00316Do you like the cocks?"
  68. after 5000
  69. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034We know you do"
  70. putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask"
  71. putquick "KICK $chan $text :Lolcocks"
  72. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
  73. }
  74.  
  75. proc proc_mord { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  76. global botnick
  77. if {[onchan $text]} {
  78. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  79. set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan]
  80. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :YOU SHALL NOT"
  81. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038FUCKING"
  82. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034\002PASS"
  83. after 500
  84. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\00316My precious"
  85. putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask"
  86. putquick "KICK $chan $text :Gandalf"
  87. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
  88. }
  89.  
  90. proc proc_dino { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  91. global botnick
  92. if {$nick == "Dinosaur"} {
  93. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002Dinosaur is pretty damn fucking awesome, I do declare. Tally ho!!"
  94. after 3000
  95. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :RAWR, \0032Oh how dubious!!!"
  96. after 3000
  97. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0038NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM"
  98. after 3000
  99. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034Cuntmuffins for everybody!"
  100. after 3000
  101. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002You may now return to your regularly scheduled bullshit c:"
  102. after 3000
  103. if {$text == ""} {return 0}
  104. else {
  105. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0022Oh yes, $text is also a gigantic cockfag"
  106. }
  107. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :YOU ARE NOT DINOSAAAUUUWWWW" }
  108. }
  109.  
  110. proc proc_gay { nick uhost hand chan args } {
  111. global botnick
  112. set nick1 {[lindex $args 0]}
  113. set nick2 {[lindex $args 1]}
  114. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0032$nick1 is gay for $nick2"
  115. }
  116.  
  117. bind msg -|- ^dinotalk proc_dt
  118.  
  119. proc proc_dt { nick uhost hand text } {
  120. global botnick
  121. if {$nick == "Dinosaur"} {
  122. putquick "PRIVMSG #BSAnonymous :\002\0034$text"
  123. }
  124. else {
  125. putquick "PRIVMSG $nick :YOU ARE NOT DINOSAAAAUUUWWWWW"}
  126. }
  127.  
  128. proc proc_love { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  129. global botnick
  130. {
  131. if {$nick == "RAEP"} {
  132. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002RAEP, you are similar to something that is defined as good."
  133. after 3000
  134. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032May a squadron of vaginas find their way to your vagina by day's end"
  135. after 3000
  136. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0022Love Dinosaur <3333"
  137. }
  138. elseif {$nick == "Dinosaur"} {
  139. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002RAEP, you are similar to something that is defined as good."
  140. after 3000
  141. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032May a squadron of vaginas find their way to your vagina by day's end"
  142. after 3000
  143. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0022Love Dinosaur <3333"
  144. }
  145. else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034YOU ARE NOT RAEP \>\:\(\(\(" }
  146. }
  147. }
  148.  
  149. proc proc_not { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  150. global botnick
  151. if {$nick == "Notion"} {
  152. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002LOVE MEH BITCHEZZZZZZZZZZ"
  153. after 3000
  154. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0034Notion <3"
  155. if {$text == ""} {return 0} else {
  156. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0022Notion loves $text"
  157. }
  158. if {$nick == "Dinosaur"} {
  159. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002LOVE MEH BITCHEZZZZZZZZZZ"
  160. after 3000
  161. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0034Notion <3"
  162. if {$text == ""} {return 0} else {
  163. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0022Notion is totally gay for Huh_"
  164. }
  165. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :Notion? You are not Notion" }
  166. }
  167.  
  168.  
  169. proc proc_bear { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  170. global botnick
  171. if {[onchan $text]} {
  172. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  173. set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan]
  174. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$nick places beartraps in a circle around $chan, to keep $text out"
  175. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034$text will now leave voluntarily. In 20 seconds."
  176. after 20000
  177. putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask"
  178. putquick "KICK $chan $text :I told you not to stand on the beartraps"
  179. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
  180. }
  181.  
  182. proc proc_huh { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  183. global botnick
  184. if {[onchan $text]} {
  185. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  186. set banmask [getchanhost $text $chan]
  187. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Huh_ hears $nick's pleas, and banishes the fuck out of $text"
  188. after 200
  189. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Seriously Huh_'s awesome"
  190. putquick "PRIVMSG $text :Join #getyourfreeunban to be unbanned"
  191. putquick "MODE $chan +b $banmask"
  192. putquick "KICK $chan $text :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huh_\(god\)"
  193. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :$text Is Not In The Channel" }
  194. }
  195.  
  196. proc proc_decap { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  197. global botnick
  198. if {[onchan $text]} {
  199. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  200. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$text is decapitated"
  201. putquick "KICK $chan $text :It's only temporary"
  202. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
  203. }
  204.  
  205. proc proc_duel { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  206. global botnick
  207. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$botnick does not offer this service currently."
  208. # if {[onchan $text]} {
  209. # if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  210. # set dice {expr { rand() }}
  211. # putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :Rolling dice"
  212. # if {dice <=0.50} {duel = 1}
  213. # else {duel = 2}
  214. # after 2000
  215. # if {duel = 1} then {
  216. # putquick "KICK $chan $text :You lost"
  217. # }
  218. # elseif {duel = 2} then {
  219. # putquick "KICK $chan $nick :You lost"
  220. # }
  221. #}
  222. # } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
  223. }
  224.  
  225. proc proc_lazor { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  226. global botnick
  227. if {[onchan $text]} {
  228. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  229. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0034Charging.........\003"
  230. after 2000
  231. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0034Charging.........\003"
  232. after 2000
  233. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0038Charging.........\003"
  234. after 2500
  235. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0038Charging.........\003"
  236. after 3000
  237. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0033Charged :D\003"
  238. putquick "KICK $chan $text :LAAAZZZZOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
  239. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
  240. }
  241.  
  242. proc proc_g { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  243. global botnick
  244. if {[onchan $text]} {
  245. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  246. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :$botname applies gloves\003
  247. putquick "KICK $chan $text :Tears $text a new asshole on his chest"
  248. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
  249. }
  250.  
  251. proc proc_derp { nick uhost hand chan text } {
  252. global botnick
  253. if {[onchan $text]} {
  254. if {$text == $botnick} { return 0 }
  255. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0038Lol- Derp$text\003"
  256. after 500
  257. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032I wrote you a poem, Derp$text\003"
  258. after 500
  259. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0032Lemme find it...\003"
  260. after 1000
  261. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\002\0038FOUND IT!\003"
  262. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0034Clears throat\003"
  263. after 4000
  264. putquick "PRIVMSG $chan :\0033Roses are Red, violets are blue, I'm gonna fuck you with a rake\003"
  265. putquick "KICK $chan $text :I hope you enjoyed it Derp$text. \0032I wrote it myself"
  266. } else { putserv "PRIVMSG $chan :\002$text\002 Not In Channel" }
  267. }
  268.  
  269. putlog "my large anus is loaded"
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