An American Pickle

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Upload by _IMAN_

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[shovel thudding]

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[man panting]

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[thudding continues]

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[water splashing]

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[Herschel]  In old country of Schlupsk, I am ditch digger.

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It is not always great.

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Life is difficult.

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But then one day,

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Hashem gives me a miracle.

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[indistinct chatter]

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[Herschel]  Her name is Sarah.

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She is strong

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and she has all her teeth, top and bottom.

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I decide at once to woo her.

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[speaking foreign language]

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[speaking Yiddish]

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[Herschel]  Wooing fails,

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but I am determined to win her.

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Every day, I dig twice the ditch.

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It is greatest summer of my life.

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We have so much in common.

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Her favorite color black. My favorite color black.

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Her parents murdered by Cossacks.

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My parents murdered by Cossacks.

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I notice nice little thing about her.

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She always sneeze same way.

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Four time.

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Is adorable.

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Sometimes, when we want to be alone,

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we go to very special bog.

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We tell each other all our hopes and dreams.

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[Sarah speaking foreign language]

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[chuckles]

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Oh.

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[both chuckling]

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[sighs]

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[Herschel]  We have wedding in front of whole town.

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Hashem blesses us.

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[shouts in foreign language]

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[Herschel]  For a bit.

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We are attacked by Cossacks.

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Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry,

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Russian maniacs drunk from vodka.

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Jew!

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-[sword swishing] -[indistinct shouting]

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[Herschel]  The Cossacks destroy our whole world.

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But...

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we are the Greenbaums.

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We are strong.

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And together there is no stopping us.

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We keep fighting till we have American dream.

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[man] All right, let's get these

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dumb Polacks outta here.

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[child screams]

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[Herschel] Compared to Cossacks,

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Americans very kind.

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[man] All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go.

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[Herschel]  I find good job in pickle factory.

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A good Jewish business.

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The foreman will not let me mix salt.

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Or sort cucumber.

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But he says I can chase rats with club

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and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash.

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[rat squeaking]

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[grunts]

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[Herschel] It is not dream job.

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But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth.

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Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel.

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[Herschel]  Some things still out of reach.

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Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water!

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Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today?

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It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men.

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It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies.

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[Herschel]  But over time we work and save.

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I grant Sarah's wish.

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A beautiful Greenbaum family plot

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for us to share.

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Forever.

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Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all.

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So one night to Sarah

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I make this vow.

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Our child will be strong.

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And our child's child will be strong.

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Our family will prosper.

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And in 100 years,

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the Greenbaums will be powerful.

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Successful.

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The strongest in the land.

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[Herschel] And then one day,

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everything changed.

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[rats squeaking]

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[squeaking]

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[screaming]

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Attention!

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This factory has been condemned.

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[indistinct chatter]

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[thuds]

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-Damn it. -Shit.

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[boy 1] Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro.

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[boy 2] No, it's definitely this way.

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Whoa.

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[lid clattering]

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[all screaming]

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[boy] Let's go!

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[breathing heavily]

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-[indistinct chatter] -[cameras flashing]

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Please! Please! Settle down.

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Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly.

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It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day.

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-That's impossible. -You don't honestly expect us

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to buy that, do you?

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What's the science behind it?

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Please, let me explain.

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[Herschel] The scientist explains.

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His logic is good.

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It satisfies everyone.

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-Oh, yes. -It makes sense.

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-Absolutely. -Very clear.

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[Herschel]  But...

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I'm very sad.

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The world has changed.

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Everything I know is gone. And...

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...everyone.

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[doctor] I'm so sorry, Herschel.

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You will check again.

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We already checked the city records twice.

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She wasn't brined.

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She's been dead for 80 years.

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You will check again.

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We already checked.

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[grunts]

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[alarm beeping]

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[Herschel] My Sarah is gone.

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Our child is gone.

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I have nothing.

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Then I get some great news.

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Great news, Herschel.

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It took a little bit of doing,

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but we were able to track down a living relative.

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I have family?

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Yes.

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A great-grandson.

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And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn

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and he's exactly the same age as you.

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-His name is "Ben Greenbaum." -[sighs]

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And we're contacting him right now.

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Thank you.

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[Herschel]  I am so excited I forget all my misery.

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Even though I have not met this Ben,

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I can see him in my mind.

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He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah,

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powerful.

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Successful.

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The strongest in the land.

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[man speaking indistinctly]

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[man sneezes four times]

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-[woman] Bless you. -[man] Oh, I'm sorry.

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Excuse me.

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Greenbaum.

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Yeah.

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Greenbaum.

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Greenbaum.

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Greenbaum.

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Greenbaum!

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Greenbaum!

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Greenbaum!

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[laughs]

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All right!

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This is nuts. [laughs]

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It must be so crazy for you.

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Very crazy.

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Crazy for me, too, man.

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Are you allowed to leave?

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Do you wanna come back to my apartment?

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-Very much. -All right. Let's go.

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[Ben] Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson.

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So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you.

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[car honking]

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[Ben] Take it in.

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Cool, huh?

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Make way.

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[Ben] It's a scooter.

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They're actually pretty fun.

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Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future.

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There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it.

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[horn honking]

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It's cool, man. It's a cab.

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It's gonna take us back to my apartment. Hop in.

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[chuckles] It's all right.

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Oh, yeah, crawl in.

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There you go. You got it.

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We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you.

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Here we are, man.

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Home, sweet home.

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Hey, check this out.

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Alexa, lights.

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Pretty cool, huh?

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All this yours?

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Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that.

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I do live here by myself. I work from home,

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though, a lot.

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It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around.

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So you can stay here as long as you want.

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I do not want to be burden to you.

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It's not a burden, Herschel. At all. I mean...

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I'm amazed you're alive. [chuckles]

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I really never thought I would get a chance

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to meet another Greenbaum. So...

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Neither did I.

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You must be thirsty.

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I mean, you were brined for, like, a century.

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And there's salt in brine, right?

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So you must be pretty parched, to say the least.

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Can I get you something to drink?

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Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk.

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I got pea milk. They're milking peas now.

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They're milking everything these days, dude.

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You name it, they're milking it.

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I got mint tea. I have kombucha.

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-"Kombucha"? -Yeah.

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It's fermented... stuff. Honestly, I don't even know.

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Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy.

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-Would you like some? -Is fine.

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They inject drink into my arm in hospital.

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-I am fine. -Fair enough.

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There must be something I can get you.

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Would you like some seltzer?

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You have seltzer.

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Oh, I got seltzer for days, son.

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I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually.

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Ya just fill this up there.

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That's it. You put in the cartridge.

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"Cartridge."

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And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer.

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Press button.

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Exactly. You wanna press it?

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You'll let me press seltzer button?

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Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family.

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So you can press the seltzer button.

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Knock yourself out.

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Yeah!

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There you go. You're seltzering.

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Pretty cool, huh?

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-The bubble. -So many bubbles.

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Well...

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One for you. And one for me.

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Cheers.

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L'chaim.

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Ooh!

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[chuckles]

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Yeah.

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Lots of bubbles. [chuckles]

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Crazy.

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This must be very overwhelming for you.

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It's a lot. It's a little much.

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But I think you'll find there's actually, like,

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some pretty cool stuff about the future.

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[scoffing]

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Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that.

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Uh, I know what else you might like.

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You like music, right?

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Yes.

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Watch this.

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Alexa, play...

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oldies.

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[Alexa]  Here's a station for you. Oldies.

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["Stay" playing]

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♪ Stay ♪

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♪ Just a little bit longer ♪

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♪ Please, please Please, please ♪

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♪ Tell me you're going to ♪

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Pretty cool, huh?

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It's a stereo,

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and it plays music from the Internet.

275
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000
It comes through these speakers.

276
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Pretty good, huh?

277
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
It's a good song.

278
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Here, check it, check it, check it.

279
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000
♪ Oh, won't you stay ♪

280
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
It's you. It's you singing.

281
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000
No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there.

282
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000
-Get in there, man. -It's okay.

283
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000
-It's okay. -Get in there.

284
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000
♪ You say that you will ♪

285
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
♪ Say that you will ♪

286
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
I watch you dance.

287
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
I'm a very good dancer for my time.

288
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Come on. Get in there.

289
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Come on. Get in there. I know you want to.

290
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Yeah.

291
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Oh, there you go.

292
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000
♪ Just a little bit longer ♪

293
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000
♪ Please, please Please, please ♪

294
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000
♪ Tell me you're going to ♪

295
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000
Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it,

296
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
I would imagine.

297
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Good pizza, huh?

298
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
Hey.

299
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000
They are couple?

300
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
Yeah, yeah. Interracial couples

301
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
totally cool now

302
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000
in parts of the country.

303
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Yeah, check it out.

304
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Twinsies.

305
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage?

306
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
-Good, huh? -Hmm?

307
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Kosher, too.

308
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000
This is a scooter.

309
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000
You have legs. You do not need this thing.

310
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000
That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say.

311
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000
How many pairs of shoes you own?

312
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
Um, like seven, maybe?

313
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Seven. How many sock?

314
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks.

315
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
[chuckles]

316
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five.

317
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
It's a lot of socks.

318
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000
-You only have two feet, right? -[laughs]

319
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000
No, it's just these. [laughs]

320
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000
Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock.

321
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000
It's pretty normal for today.

322
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000
Tell me, what is it you do for job?

323
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor.

324
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000
No. You're a lawyer.

325
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
No.

326
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Close. Freelance mobile app developer.

327
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
What?

328
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
It's easier if I show you.

329
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Here, come on.

330
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,000
You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good."

331
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000
Check it out, man.

332
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
Go.

333
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,000
A magic rectangle. You make this?

334
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000
No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though.

335
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
But let me ask you this,

336
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
before people buy something

337
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
what's something they wish they knew?

338
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
How long has meat been dead for?

339
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Yeah, that.

340
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Also, they want to know

341
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000
whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical.

342
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000
-They do? -Yes.

343
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
They do. It's called "conscientious shopping."

344
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
It's very popular.

345
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
My app makes it very easy.

346
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
All you do is, you scan a product.

347
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000
And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical

348
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
by analyzing its carbon footprint,

349
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000
its labor policies,

350
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000
and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score.

351
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Check it out.

352
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000
91.

353
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000
These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious

354
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
because I know how ethical they are.

355
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Thanks to Boop Bop.

356
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
-"Boop Bop"? -Boop Bop, yeah.

357
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000
-It's called "Boop Bop." -Why Boop Bop?

358
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Um...

359
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000
You know, it's kinda just like the trend,

360
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000
I guess, these days

361
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000
to give apps, like, silly names.

362
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000
You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and...

363
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
You know, you might think it's kinda silly.

364
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
But I've been working on it pretty hard

365
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000
for five years now, basically.

366
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know,

367
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000
start the next chapter, which is exciting.

368
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000
You work for five years. How come you no sell?

369
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
It's just...

370
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
not ready yet.

371
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
I'm still finalizing some things.

372
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Just really focused on getting it right, you know?

373
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Making it perfect.

374
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000
I think once it's ready, though, I'll have

375
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000
a pretty easy time selling it.

376
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000
I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital.

377
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000
And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it.

378
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000
He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done.

379
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000
But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo.

380
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000
I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me.

381
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
I kinda wish it was mustardier, though.

382
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Is this your father?

383
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
No, that's David Bowie.

384
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Is this your mother?

385
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
No, that's also David Bowie.

386
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
That whole poster's David Bowie.

387
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000
How come in this whole place you have so many things,

388
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
but no pictures of family?

389
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
I have pictures of my family.

390
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
I just haven't really,

391
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000
you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my...

392
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
design.

393
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
But I got that stuff right here.

394
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000
[sighs]

395
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000
You kept.

396
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Yeah. I kept.

397
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000
[exhales heavily]

398
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000
Who is this?

399
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000
That's...

400
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,000
your son.

401
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000
It's Mort Greenbaum.

402
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000
"Mort"?

403
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,000
[sighs]

404
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Sarah had son.

405
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
How was his life?

406
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Was he success?

407
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory.

408
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000
A foreman?

409
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000
Yeah.

410
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Who is this?

411
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Uh...

412
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
That's Mort's son.

413
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000
David Greenbaum. Your grandson.

414
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
He was also foreman?

415
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
He was an accountant.

416
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
-Accountant. -Yeah.

417
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
This his wife?

418
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000
Mm-hmm.

419
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Who is this very shapely young woman here?

420
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000
That's me.

421
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000
These are your parents.

422
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Where are they?

423
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
They passed away.

424
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
I'm very sorry.

425
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Murdered or regular?

426
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000
It was a car crash.

427
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
So, regular.

428
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
You will tell me everything of their death

429
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
so I may bear witness to your grief.

430
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:53,000
How their bodies died, their faces as the life left.

431
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Be very specific.

432
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Spare no detail.

433
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
We will bond over our pain.

434
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
No detail too small.

435
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000
We don't have to get into that right now.

436
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000
You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg.

437
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000
They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good.

438
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000
We will go to cemetery now.

439
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead.

440
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Actually, I'm not sure...

441
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
I don't think the cemetery's open right now.

442
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
So we go to cemetery tomorrow.

443
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
I think it was maybe supposed to rain.

444
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
So I guess weather permitting.

445
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
All right. But now we go to shul,

446
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
we say Mourner's Kaddish, prayer for dead.

447
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents.

448
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Yeah, I'm not...

449
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000
I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now.

450
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,000
But I would be happy to walk you over there.

451
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000
What is problem?

452
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000
It's not a problem.

453
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,000
I guess I understand why you're a religious person.

454
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
That makes sense for someone from your era.

455
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000
But I am not...

456
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
I'm not very religious.

457
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
You do not know Mourner's Kaddish?

458
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000
[clicks tongue]

459
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000
Not anymore, no.

460
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
How do you grieve for dead parents

461
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
if you do not say prayer for dead?

462
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
I'm doing okay.

463
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000
I do not understand.

464
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000
You were raised Jew.

465
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Yeah.

466
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Are you not still Jew?

467
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Technically.

468
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah.

469
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
It's not like I was that religious

470
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
in the first place.

471
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Also, like, organized religion is very regressive.

472
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000
[sighs]

473
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000
Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot.

474
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Very special place. Very special.

475
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,000
Tell me, how high is elm tree now?

476
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000
100 feet?

477
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
200 feet?

478
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Yeah. Something like that. Probably. I'm not 100% sure.

479
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
When last time you come?

480
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000
I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'.

481
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
So been a little while.

482
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Wait.

483
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000
It's this way.

484
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000
This way!

485
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Sweet Hashem.

486
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000
You let them put garbage.

487
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000
And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree!

488
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
Yeah, it's not on our property.

489
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000
There's nothing we can do about it.

490
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Sarah.

491
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
[Herschel sniffles]

492
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
You okay?

493
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000
We will pray.

494
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
[praying in foreign language]

495
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000
Hey, guys!

496
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Sorry, you can't be there.

497
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000
What?

498
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
We're putting up a billboard!

499
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000
[Herschel] What it say?

500
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000
It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka.

501
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Vanilla-flavored...

502
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
...vodka?

503
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Cossacks.

504
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Cossack!

505
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Hershel, what are you doin', man?

506
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000
You will take down vanilla vodka...

507
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000
or I will do violence.

508
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000
What?

509
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,000
You will take down vanilla vodka...

510
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
or I will do violence.

511
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Look, buddy, I don't have time for--

512
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Oh, shit. No!

513
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
[grunting]

514
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000
-Stop! -Yes!

515
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Stop!

516
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
Come on! Come on!

517
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000
Ben! Ben!

518
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000
Come on!

519
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000
You can never stop the Greenbaums!

520
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
You will never stop the Greenbaums!

521
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000
[door buzzes]

522
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000
Your payment's been processed. You're free to go.

523
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Fantastic.

524
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
We must go back to grave.

525
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
We will cut down Cossack billboard.

526
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000
Dude, if we do that,

527
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000
we're gonna go back to jail. So, no.

528
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000
Okay. We must purchase billboard from Cossack,

529
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000
which I do not like,

530
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
and then we cut down billboard.

531
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000
First off, the Cossacks don't own it.

532
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000
Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company.

533
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000
It costs $200,000.

534
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000
Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard.

535
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Why are you being so difficult about this?

536
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000
I can't afford it!

537
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000
You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys?

538
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
I don't have $200,000.

539
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000
You have all this, so you have moneys.

540
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000
How much moneys you have?

541
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000
I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left.

542
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us

543
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000
out of jail, Herschel.

544
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000
It's not my fault!

545
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
What is your fault is that you started a fight with

546
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000
some construction workers!

547
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000
Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you.

548
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000
And I'd be defending the honor of our family more

549
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
if I wasn't busy trying to create a company

550
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
and a product, man!

551
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000
You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops.

552
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
You don't understand how much pressure there is

553
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
on this stuff. Okay?

554
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000
I'm trying to make it perfect.

555
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000
Blue. Green. Red. Who cares?

556
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000
Pick a color!

557
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo!

558
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
Let me tell you something.

559
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
In Schlupsk, we have saying.

560
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well.

561
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000
If man says he is going to throw punch,

562
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000
but he does not throw punch,

563
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
it is because this man secretly has polio arm.

564
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000
This is you.

565
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000
You have polio arm.

566
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
This your polio arm.

567
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
Throw your punch!

568
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000
Do something, Ben!

569
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000
Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops.

570
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000
Blue, yellow, green! Who cares?

571
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000
Throw your punch!

572
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000
Okay. Fine! You know what? Fine! Fine!

573
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000
-Good. Good. Do it. -I'll email the guy.

574
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000
No choice anyway. I have no money.

575
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000
It's not ready. Logo's not right.

576
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000
Who cares about the stupid logo?

577
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000
[message alert chimes]

578
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000
You know they cured polio, right?

579
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000
-They did? -Yes, they did.

580
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,000
A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk.

581
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000
Was he Jew?

582
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000
He was. Yes.

583
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000
-He was Jewish? -Yes.

584
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000
Yes! Knew it.

585
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Oh, yeah, big win.

586
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,000
I would look at polio people and think,

587
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000
"They could fix this."

588
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
You thought that?

589
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,000
This problem not unfixable problem.

590
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
You put a Jew on this, he will fix this.

591
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Very prophetic of you, Herschel.

592
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
I was right. Very good.

593
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000
[message alert chimes]

594
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000
He's texting back.

595
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000
He says my idea's "straight fire."

596
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000
That's a good thing.

597
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,000
He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person.

598
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000
He wants your Boop Bops.

599
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000
-This is a big deal, Herschel. -Yes.

600
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000
He wants my Boop Bops.

601
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000
Ben, what's up?

602
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
Hey! How's it going, man?

603
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000
We're not gonna invest.

604
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000
-What? -Yeah. Sorry, man.

605
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000
What's the problem?

606
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Before you came in, we googled your name

607
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000
and the first thing that comes up is your arrest.

608
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Look, it's just bad optics.

609
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000
I mean, the whole app is about ethics,

610
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
and the founder is a violent criminal.

611
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000
Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop,

612
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000
you'd get a really low Boop Bop score.

613
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Is there anything we can do?

614
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Can we spin this or something like that?

615
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000
Oh, no. Definitely not.

616
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000
No one's gonna touch this, man. This is...

617
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000
This idea is dead.

618
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
[sighs]

619
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000
Look, consider this an opportunity.

620
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000
I mean, there's tons of other ideas.

621
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000
-How long did it take to come up with this?

622
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000
-Five years.

623
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Five years. That's--

624
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000
Long time.

625
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000
Yeah, that's a while.

626
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000
Sorry to disappoint you, I guess.

627
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter

628
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000
if the founder's a bad person.

629
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Like a social media thing.

630
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man,

631
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
but it's never too late to do things completely differently.

632
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000
You know?

633
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
-Yeah. -Yeah.

634
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Take care, man.

635
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000
Call me if you got anything new.

636
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000
[door opening]

637
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000
Did you get moneys?

638
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000
No. I didn't get moneys.

639
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000
And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys

640
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,000
for my business that is based on ethics

641
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
now that I have a criminal record for assault

642
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000
because of you!

643
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000
I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops

644
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000
because is terrible idea. So...

645
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000
I have other idea.

646
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000
We start pickle business.

647
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Is good business. Jewish business.

648
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
I have knowledge of pickling.

649
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000
I was myself a pickle.

650
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000
That's a very stupid idea, Herschel.

651
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,000
It will work.

652
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000
We will start pickle business.

653
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000
We will become success.

654
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000
You will finally make dead parents proud.

655
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000
Don't you talk about my parents.

656
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000
You never talk about my parents!

657
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You don't know anything about them!

658
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000
You never met them!

659
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined

660
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000
for 100 years!

661
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000
It's your fault, Herschel.

662
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
You got us arrested.

663
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000
You ruined my business that I spent years on!

664
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000
It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore.

665
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000
'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you.

666
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000
[dramatic music playing]

667
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000
You hear this vow.

668
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000
I will create pickle empire.

669
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000
I will make $200,000.

670
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000
I will buy back Cossack land.

671
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000
And I will cut down billboard.

672
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,000
I will prove you stupid.

673
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
Because you are my enemy.

674
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,000
You dishonor Greenbaum name.

675
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000
We are no longer family.

676
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000
[Ben] Good luck with that.

677
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
You don't know jack shit about shit, man.

678
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
You can't even read from what I can tell.

679
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000
You're gonna start a pickle empire?

680
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000
You can't even survive out there without my help!

681
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Do not need help from anybody.

682
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:55,000
I will prove you stupid with no help from anybody ever!

683
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
I would like to purchase. How much?

684
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000
Looks like these are 90 cents apiece.

685
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me

686
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000
like you are saying these cucumbers

687
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000
are 90 cents apiece.

688
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
I am.

689
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Cucumber.

690
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000
And salt.

691
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Yes!

692
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000
[upbeat music playing]

693
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000
[thunder rumbling]

694
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Yes!

695
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000
[horn honking]

696
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000
[man] Oh, my God. Kevin, look.

697
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000
Artisanal pickles.

698
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000
Well, he's not on Yelp.

699
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Sir. How local is your produce?

700
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000
I make pickle here in Brooklyn.

701
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
And are they all-natural?

702
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Is pickle.

703
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000
But do you add any chemicals like,

704
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000
you know, benzoates or preservatives?

705
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000
I do not even know these words.

706
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000
Oh, I like your style.

707
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000
Ooh, let's see.

708
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Wow! Ooh.

709
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000
Just hits me in my throat.

710
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Very pungent.

711
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000
Let me smell it.

712
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000
Oh! Yeah, that burns.

713
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000
You can feel the burn.

714
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000
I can, like, smell it in my eye.

715
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Feel the sting.

716
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000
Give it to me again. Let me smell it.

717
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil.

718
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Satanic. Oh, it stinks.

719
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
You know what, it would go so good

720
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
with the kelp ceviche.

721
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Oh, my God, that's right. How much do we owe you?

722
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
You want to buy?

723
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000
Of course.

724
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,000
Is four dollar for pickle.

725
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000
Three dollar less than big store

726
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000
and I include the scum.

727
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000
-Okay. Sure. -Okay! Yeah, scum.

728
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000
-Here you go. -That's great.

729
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000
Scum it is.

730
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000
You no haggle.

731
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000
Haggle? No, I mean, it seems like four dollars

732
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000
is appropriate for one pickle.

733
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
Yeah, unless you got a coupon.

734
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Ew!

735
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Also, you bring back jar when you finish.

736
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
-He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars.

737
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000
-Wow.

738
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
There is nothing wrong with used jar.

739
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000
They same after many, many use.

740
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000
Amen to that!

741
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000
-Amen. -Amen.

742
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000
You are religious.

743
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,000
Amen! Well, thank you so much. Have a good day.

744
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Don't forget bring back jar.

745
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000
Or I will find you, and I will do

746
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000
terrible violence.

747
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000
You know what? You should do a post on him.

748
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Oh. Yeah. How could I not?

749
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000
["Reflections of My Life" playing]

750
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,000
♪ The changing of sunlight ♪

751
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
♪ To moonlight ♪

752
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:29,000
♪ Reflections of my life ♪

753
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:34,000
♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪

754
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000
♪ The greetings of people ♪

755
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,000
♪ In trouble ♪

756
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,000
♪ Reflections of my life ♪

757
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:55,000
♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪

758
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,000
♪ Oh, my sorrows ♪

759
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000
♪ Sad tomorrows ♪

760
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,000
♪ Take me back to my own home ♪

761
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000
[woman] Hey, man, how's it going?

762
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000
Yeah, not fantastic.

763
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000
I found out I gotta basically throw away

764
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000
the app I was working on,

765
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000
and start again from scratch.

766
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000
-Bummer. -Yeah. Big bummer.

767
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000
But I'll think of something.

768
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
[Herschel] It's about the smell.

769
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000
You know is good.

770
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,000
Pickles should smell like vomit.

771
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000
Excuse me, what is that?

772
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy

773
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000
over on  Bedford.

774
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000
Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy.

775
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000
It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out.

776
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000
Herschel's jars have no label,

777
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
and his product doesn't even have a name.

778
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000
But he just might be the most authentic

779
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,000
artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg.

780
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000
And his accent is cute AF.

781
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,000
Hello.

782
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000
Aww! Oh, my God!

783
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars,

784
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000
cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it.

785
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000
Time to invest right now, right?

786
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Is this a popular blog?

787
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000
This video's got like a million views,

788
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000
so people are loving this pickle guy.

789
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000
Maybe we should sell those here.

790
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000
Picklebacks, pickle shots. That's cool, right?

791
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,000
[man] Looks cool.

792
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,000
-[woman] Aw, I love his hat. -[man] I know.

793
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn.

794
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,000
How does it feel to be such a runaway success?

795
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000
Ben Greenbaum, you see me now on your television box.

796
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Well, I become huge success.

797
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000
Soon I buy back Cossack billboard

798
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000
and I prove you are stupid.

799
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000
You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life.

800
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,000
Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid.

801
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000
...genius compared to you.

802
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000
[clears throat]  Okay. Not sure who Ben is.

803
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000
Herschel, I understand your pickles are made

804
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000
with rainwater.

805
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
-Rainwater, yes. -Yes.

806
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Rainwater from gutters.

807
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Nutrients from roof come off into jar.

808
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000
[reporter]  There's bird droppings in there?

809
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000
[Herschel]  All sorts of animal parts in here.

810
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Little essence of animal feet.

811
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000
Could you pull over, please?

812
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000
Hello. Health Department?

813
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000
I'd like to file a complaint.

814
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
-There you go. You take pickle.

815
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000
-Gratitude.

816
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Are you Herschel Greenbaum?

817
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000
Yes, 14 dollar for pickle.

818
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
Ten dollar extra if you want telephone photograph

819
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000
with the Herschel.

820
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Get in line.

821
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately.

822
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Why shut down?

823
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000
Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations.

824
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000
You can't just take food out of a garbage can

825
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000
and sell it to people.

826
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,000
-That's insane. -But is all-natural. Is vegan.

827
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000
No benzoate. No preservative.

828
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000
You're lucky no one has died.

829
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,000
You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines.

830
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000
Till then, you are shut down.

831
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000
[cellphone buzzing]

832
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,000
[woman] Ew. Guys.

833
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage.

834
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000
-[scoffs] -[indistinct chatter]

835
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Nope.

836
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000
[woman] Oh, my God.

837
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000
-CHRISTIAN: Herschel, we heard the terrible news.

838
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000
-KEVIN: Yeah, what happened?

839
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
I was shut down by evil woman.

840
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000
They tell me I have to "bring things up to code."

841
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000
I do not know how to do this all by myself.

842
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
-You could scale up the business, right?

843
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000
-True.

844
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000
-Maybe hire some workers. -That's good.

845
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000
Cannot afford workers.

846
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000
You could get interns!

847
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000
[Christian gasps] Yes.

848
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000
"Interns"?

849
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Yeah, they're unpaid workers.

850
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Unpaid workers.

851
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000
Right. You compensate them in education and experience.

852
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000
Like slave?

853
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000
No, no, no. That's not what I mean.

854
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000
That's a little bit of an oversimplification.

855
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000
Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small,

856
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000
ethically conscious...

857
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000
Next.

858
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance

859
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000
for considering me for this internship.

860
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000
My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU.

861
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000
I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president

862
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000
of the Asian Cinema Club--

863
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000
Show me your teeth.

864
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Yes.

865
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Herschel is back!

866
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves.

867
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
That's the regulation.

868
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Like the beard tucked in. That's important!

869
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000
All right. Let's get this up to code, people.

870
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Just pickling. No talking.

871
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,000
No!

872
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000
No, no, no!

873
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,000
Good pickle. Bad pickle. [grunts]

874
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000
CLARA: Almost there. Keep it up!

875
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,000
[Herschel] All right!

876
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
This is what we're reaching for, everybody.

877
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000
This is the dream.

878
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000
This is the goal.

879
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000
Perfect jar of pickle.

880
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Go.

881
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000
-[man] Hey! -[woman] Hey there!

882
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,000
[indistinct chatter]

883
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,000
[dramatic music playing]

884
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000
[upbeat music playing]

885
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000
Yes!

886
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Yes, yes, yeah!

887
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,000
[crunching]

888
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000
Thank you.

889
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,000
Yeah!

890
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Move it, move it!

891
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000
Hurry! Hurry up!

892
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
It says your deed on the lot is paid in full.

893
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000
Cut it down.

894
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000
Herschel win! Yeah!

895
00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,000
[scoffs]

896
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,000
[sighs]

897
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,000
[clicks]

898
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000
This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks.

899
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000
Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world.

900
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000
That's what you're gonna do.

901
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000
Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.

902
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,000
We know it. We know it.

903
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000
Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over.

904
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
-Move over, Bill Gates. -Watch out, Bill.

905
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Ben Greenbaum's got your number.

906
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000
[Ben]  I appreciate it. Thank you, guys.

907
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000
[Susan]  And we know you're gonna do such great things.

908
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000
-[David]  Great things. -And speaking of...

909
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,000
Guys.

910
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,000
-It's just a little... -A little something.

911
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,000
Oh, my God.

912
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000
[David]  It's an investment. An investment

913
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000
in your new company.

914
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
-We wanted to get in on the ground floor.

915
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000
-Yes, absolutely. Bottom.

916
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000
My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think

917
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000
it's a little premature.

918
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,000
Come on! You'll think of something.

919
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,000
[David]  You could just call it "Mom and Dad."

920
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000
[Susan] You're so creative, inventive.

921
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000
"Mom and Dad." I like that--

922
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,000
[banging]

923
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,000
I have done it.

924
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,000
I have restored honor to family and conquered the Cossacks.

925
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000
Congrats.

926
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Now I have some free time on my hands,

927
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000
so I have good news.

928
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,000
Herschel is back.

929
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000
I have decided I would come back

930
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000
to be with you.

931
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Not for me. I am fine. Very stable.

932
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy

933
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000
all the time.

934
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Oh, yeah?

935
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000
But for Ben, I figure maybe I come back and I help you.

936
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000
You have no wife, no children, no friends, and now no job.

937
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000
You need help!

938
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,000
Herschel will help. Do not worry.

939
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here.

940
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000
Okay?

941
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Just please leave my apartment.

942
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
But I am only family you have left.

943
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000
You need Herschel.

944
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000
Without Herschel, you'll be all alone.

945
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000
No one to fix broken life.

946
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000
My life isn't broken, Herschel.

947
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000
I'm fine. I'm completely happy.

948
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:42,000
The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you.

949
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,000
Just please go!

950
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000
If you do not realize you need Herschel,

951
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000
you are stupider than Polish person.

952
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
And they are the stupidest.

953
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000
How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel?

954
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,000
What is Twitter?

955
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000
"What is Twitter?" You don't know what Twitter is?

956
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000
Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know

957
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000
what Twitter is?

958
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000
I might know what it is by other word.

959
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,000
Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify.

960
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas

961
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000
where the world's best and brightest come

962
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000
to share their opinions

963
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000
in a very measured and reasonable manner. Twitter.

964
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
I will do Twitter.

965
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
You probably think you can but it's very complicated.

966
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000
I don't think you'll get it.

967
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000
-I can do anything. -I don't think you can.

968
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000
-Can you do Twitter? -Oh, I can do Twitter.

969
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000
If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter.

970
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,000
In order to do Twitter really well,

971
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,000
you gotta be raw and uncensored

972
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000
and share your completely unfettered opinions.

973
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,000
I don't think you'll be good at that.

974
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000
-I will do Twitter! -Really? I don't know.

975
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,000
You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter.

976
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever

977
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
done Twitter.

978
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000
Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel.

979
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000
You will see it. And you will believe it.

980
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Well, have at it, my friend!

981
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000
Watch.

982
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000
[door closes]

983
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000
[Clara]  Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help.

984
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000
No help.

985
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000
I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me now.

986
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Now read me back my dictation.

987
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000
Okay.

988
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,000
"Wheelchair people,

989
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000
-my pickles are so good... -Yes.

990
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000
...it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you."

991
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000
Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths.

992
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000
They can eat pickle.

993
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000
-Is good. -Okay.

994
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
-Send to Twitter. -Sending.

995
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000
"We sell to all peoples

996
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:36,000
even woman, unless they are menses,

997
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000
in which case, stay in tent."

998
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000
Stay in tent.

999
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,000
Next Twitter.

1000
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000
-"Attention, sodomites." -Yes.

1001
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000
"Hashem will smite you for your sin!

1002
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,000
You will burn in flames for your crimes against God.

1003
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Buy my pickles."

1004
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000
Perfect to send.

1005
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,000
Very good.

1006
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000
Yep.

1007
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,000
[indistinct chatter]

1008
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,000
Oh, lots of customers today.

1009
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000
Those are not customers. Those are protesters.

1010
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000
-[woman 1] You're disgusting, man!

1011
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000
-[woman 2] How dare you?

1012
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,000
"Protesters"?

1013
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000
[man] Down with Herschel!

1014
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000
[all] Down with Herschel!

1015
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000
Down with Herschel!

1016
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,000
Down with Herschel!

1017
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000
Sir, as grateful as I am to you

1018
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000
for this educational opportunity,

1019
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000
I am afraid that I can no longer

1020
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,000
continue this endeavor in good conscience.

1021
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000
Thank you for the college credit.

1022
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Clara!

1023
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,000
[indistinct shouting]

1024
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,000
Down with Herschel! Down with Herschel!

1025
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,000
You traitor!

1026
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000
After everything I do for you!

1027
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,000
[mouthing] I'm sorry.

1028
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000
Down with Herschel!

1029
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,000
Go away! Go away!

1030
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,000
[narrator] Who is Herschel Greenbaum?

1031
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,000
And what is he selling?

1032
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
Is it pickles?

1033
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,000
Or is it hate?

1034
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000
Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous,

1035
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000
they seem almost designed to cause offense.

1036
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,000
You're insane!

1037
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000
[narrator]  He's drawing protests and boycotts.

1038
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,000
But maybe that's the point.

1039
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
Some view him as a hateful bigot

1040
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000
with rage in his heart.

1041
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Others see him as a defender of free speech,

1042
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000
a clever provocateur testing the limits

1043
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000
of the First Amendment.

1044
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000
[woman]  Look, I get it. He's saying

1045
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000
some controversial things

1046
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000
but he's religious, so I believe him.

1047
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000
He's what we need right now.

1048
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
[man]  Everybody in the mainstream media's like,

1049
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000
"Herschel's this terrible person."

1050
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
I think they got it all wrong.

1051
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
He's playing chess. Everybody else

1052
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
is playing checkers.

1053
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000
[narrator]  Tonight, we'll find out who

1054
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000
Herschel Greenbaum really is

1055
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000
from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum.

1056
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond

1057
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
to those who have called your belief system abhorrent?

1058
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000
I would tell these people

1059
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,000
I do not understand what this word means.

1060
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:12,000
So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech

1061
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000
you don't understand restrictions.

1062
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000
I am saying I do not understand

1063
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000
what is happening.

1064
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000
I do not understand...

1065
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000
what is happening...

1066
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000
with this whole thing.

1067
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000
What is happening

1068
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000
with this whole thing?

1069
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:35,000
With our culture, our country, our way of life?

1070
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000
This is a question Herschel Greenbaum

1071
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,000
for better or worse, is determined to ask.

1072
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000
What is happening?

1073
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000
What is happening right now?

1074
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000
I really wish somebody would tell me

1075
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000
what is happening.

1076
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Indeed.

1077
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Herschel, you have captivated the imagination,

1078
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,000
the hearts and minds of the entire world

1079
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,000
with your passion and your truth.

1080
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle.

1081
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
[host]  We will.

1082
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000
[cheering and applause]

1083
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000
Okay, be that as it may

1084
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,000
your stance on gender roles is so regressive

1085
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,000
that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude.

1086
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000
Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve.

1087
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000
She has little hands for serving things to people

1088
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000
in very nice, graceful way.

1089
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:53,000
Women have nipples to serve milk to people.

1090
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,000
Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies.

1091
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,000
In other words, serve babies out of hole in body.

1092
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Yeah. Yeah!

1093
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,000
Woman like serve! Yes!

1094
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,000
Incredibly offensive.

1095
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,000
-Someone is menses. -No.

1096
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,000
[crowd laughing]

1097
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000
That debate is certainly settled.

1098
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000
Let's throw it to the audience for questions.

1099
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000
You, sir.

1100
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you.

1101
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000
What an honor.

1102
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Honor to be here.

1103
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000
I was wondering how you felt about the taxes

1104
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,000
that are crushing small businesses.

1105
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000
I'm glad you ask.

1106
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000
You tax Herschel, Herschel will do

1107
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000
violence to you.

1108
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Yes, terrible violence!

1109
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,000
[all cheering]

1110
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000
Miss.

1111
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,000
Herschel, have you considered running for office?

1112
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000
I would like office.

1113
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000
[all cheering]

1114
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,000
I would like big office.

1115
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,000
I would like biggest office in America!

1116
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000
Huge office!

1117
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,000
Oh, how about you? In the back.

1118
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:08,000
Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see.

1119
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000
[man] Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you.

1120
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,000
I was wondering what your thoughts are

1121
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,000
on Christian prayer in public schools.

1122
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000
Yes, thank you.

1123
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,000
Oh, simple question. Easy to answer.

1124
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000
I don't think I'm saying anything controversial

1125
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:29,000
when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother

1126
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,000
was prostitute.

1127
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000
-[all gasp] -And she invent story

1128
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000
of Christianity

1129
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000
to cover up fact that she prostitute.

1130
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000
So if you believe in Jesus,

1131
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,000
you are stupid idiot.

1132
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,000
You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you!

1133
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000
[siren wailing]

1134
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000
[door opening]

1135
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
[female reporter] We interrupt your

1136
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000
regularly scheduled program

1137
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,000
to bring you this special report.

1138
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000
Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant

1139
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000
who captured America's hearts and minds

1140
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000
has fallen hard from grace.

1141
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000
The public outcry against his bigotry

1142
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,000
is spreading throughout the country.

1143
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000
He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right.

1144
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000
And that's not all.

1145
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000
Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation.

1146
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000
Due to an outdated filing system

1147
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000
at the Ellis Island storage facility,

1148
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000
his paperwork cannot be located.

1149
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,000
Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked.

1150
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:34,000
If you have information about the whereabouts

1151
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,000
of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum,

1152
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000
please call the tip hotline below.

1153
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,000
[host on TV]  I just feel bad for this guy at this point.

1154
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000
Look, I don't see how Herschel

1155
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000
can come back from this one, folks.

1156
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world.

1157
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
His life is in ruins.

1158
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
And the only person he has to blame for all of it,

1159
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000
I'm sorry,

1160
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,000
is Herschel Greenbaum.

1161
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,000
[glass breaking]

1162
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000
The hell?

1163
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,000
Dude.

1164
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000
Dude!

1165
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000
Stop!

1166
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing?

1167
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000
These Christians, they try to kill me.

1168
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,000
They're not trying to kill you, Herschel.

1169
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000
They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk.

1170
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,000
Is worse! I never go back to Schlupsk.

1171
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000
Everything me and Sarah sacrificed

1172
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,000
to come here is for nothing.

1173
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000
Well, I don't know what to tell you, man.

1174
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000
I can't do anything for you.

1175
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000
There is something.

1176
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000
You must smuggle Herschel away from American authorities.

1177
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000
What?

1178
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,000
I have accepted I have new fate.

1179
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000
I will move to Canada,

1180
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,000
become icicle man.

1181
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,000
I will trade beaver for fire.

1182
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
It's not ideal. But this is what must happen.

1183
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000
I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you

1184
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,000
and that everyone's turned on you

1185
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000
because you've said truly despicable things.

1186
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000
But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again

1187
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000
to help you.

1188
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Is not help.

1189
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,000
Is trade.

1190
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000
"Trade"?

1191
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,000
I know you do not like Herschel.

1192
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000
I know you think your life better

1193
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000
before Herschel.

1194
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,000
You take me to Canada,

1195
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000
you never have to see me again.

1196
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,000
All right.

1197
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints.

1198
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,000
Just walk from here.

1199
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000
This will work.

1200
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:38,000
[mysterious music playing]

1201
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000
[both grunting]

1202
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,000
-[Ben grunts] -[thuds]

1203
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,000
[groans]

1204
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,000
Very good.

1205
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,000
[shivering]

1206
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,000
We stay warm together.

1207
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000
Thank you.

1208
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000
[Ben] There's the border.

1209
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000
We made it.

1210
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000
[vehicle approaching]

1211
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000
Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here.

1212
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000
Come on. Here, come on, come on.

1213
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
This way, this way.

1214
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000
[officer] Stop. Stop!

1215
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,000
[grunts]

1216
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000
[indistinct chatter]

1217
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,000
Looks like they're just taking a break or something.

1218
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,000
So we'll just chill here till they're gone.

1219
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000
You do not mind?

1220
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000
No, I don't mind.

1221
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000
-Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk?

1222
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000
-Forest.

1223
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,000
-What's the difference? -Wolves.

1224
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,000
Oh, wow.

1225
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:10,000
Sarah loved to chase wolf.

1226
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,000
She would club them with stick,

1227
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000
hit them with rock, kill them.

1228
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,000
Very good time.

1229
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,000
She sounds pretty amazing.

1230
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,000
I wish I could have met her.

1231
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,000
Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't.

1232
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000
Why you say this?

1233
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000
I'm probably not, like,

1234
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000
the best-case scenario for what the family's become.

1235
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:33,000
She probably wouldn't be too psyched to,

1236
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,000
you know, to see who I am.

1237
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,000
Not so sure.

1238
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,000
Perhaps once I live in Canada,

1239
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000
you come to visit Herschel.

1240
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,000
You know, maybe--

1241
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
-Maybe you don't have to go to Canada.

1242
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000
-What do you mean?

1243
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000
I mean, now that I think about it,

1244
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:05,000
you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options.

1245
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000
You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest

1246
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000
of your life.

1247
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000
We'll fix this, and in the meantime,

1248
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000
you can stay with me. We'll figure it out.

1249
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,000
You do not want this.

1250
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,000
What do you mean?

1251
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000
You try to get rid of Herschel.

1252
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,000
Take Herschel to middle of wilderness

1253
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,000
to take Herschel to Canada.

1254
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000
You hate Herschel.

1255
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,000
I'm just gonna tell you this, man.

1256
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000
I'm the one who called the Health Department on you.

1257
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,000
I got you shut down. That was me.

1258
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,000
And that's not all I did.

1259
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,000
I told you to go on Twitter,

1260
01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000
knowing you would say despicable things.

1261
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000
You always do.

1262
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
And I did that to sabotage your business.

1263
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000
Is this it?

1264
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,000
No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you,

1265
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000
I attended the debate you were having.

1266
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,000
I went to the back row and I disguised my voice

1267
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,000
and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school.

1268
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,000
I knew exactly what you were gonna say.

1269
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,000
I'm so sorry, Herschel.

1270
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.

1271
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,000
I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me?

1272
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000
[grunts]

1273
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000
-Wait. -You are traitor

1274
01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000
to your family!

1275
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,000
You are not Jew!

1276
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,000
Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there!

1277
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,000
232, requesting backup.

1278
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,000
[thrilling music playing]

1279
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,000
[officer] Where'd he go?

1280
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000
I think it's that pickle guy from the news.

1281
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000
Come on.

1282
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000
Herschel Greenbaum!

1283
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000
We know you're out there.

1284
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,000
[panting]

1285
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:04,000
[whirring]

1286
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000
Where is this guy?

1287
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Hello there, dudes.

1288
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,000
Who are you?

1289
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000
I am Ben Greenbaum.

1290
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Where's Herschel Greenbaum?

1291
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000
Herschel is back there.

1292
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000
You better get him before he escapes.

1293
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000
I'm on it.

1294
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,000
-All right. You're free to go. -Found him!

1295
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000
Thanks.

1296
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,000
All right, get up.

1297
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,000
All right, we got him.

1298
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000
We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum.

1299
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000
-You have the right to remain silent.

1300
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000
-[Ben] What?

1301
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000
Anything you say can and will be used against you

1302
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000
in a court of law.

1303
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,000
[reporter] And now, breaking news.

1304
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000
This is Susan O'Malley standing inside the Manhattan Federal

1305
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000
Courthouse

1306
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000
for what has been labeled one of the most bizarre trials

1307
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000
of the century.

1308
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000
Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed

1309
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,000
a persona non grata on American soil.

1310
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000
His deportation trial got off to a strange start

1311
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:01,000
as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense,

1312
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000
that Herschel Greenbaum was not,

1313
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,000
in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum.

1314
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:09,000
This is Ben Greenbaum.

1315
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000
This is Herschel

1316
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,000
who switched places with him because as you can see

1317
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:18,000
Herschel Greenbaum has a beard

1318
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,000
whereas my client, Ben, has no beard.

1319
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,000
I object, Your Honor.

1320
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000
What precedent are we setting here?

1321
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:28,000
That the defendant isn't actually the defendant?

1322
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:32,000
Well, then, maybe Charles Manson

1323
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:36,000
wasn't actually Charles Manson.

1324
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000
Let me try something really fast.

1325
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,000
So I'm me, I'm me, the guy you know.

1326
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000
Is this a new guy?

1327
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:48,000
With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case.

1328
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,000
Granted.

1329
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000
Court adjourned.

1330
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000
[reporter]  Herschel was quickly put on a ship

1331
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000
back to Eastern Europe

1332
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000
returning to his home country of Schlupsk.

1333
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,000
And with that, America can finally rest easy.

1334
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,000
The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum

1335
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:07,000
will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again.

1336
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,000
Back to you, Jim.

1337
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,000
[somber music playing]

1338
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000
Oh, Sarah.

1339
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,000
"Boop. Bop."

1340
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,000
[somber music playing]

1341
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,000
[man shouting indistinctly]

1342
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,000
Excuse me, do you speak English?

1343
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000
No?

1344
01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,000
Excuse me. Hi.

1345
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:35,000
Do you guys speak English? No? No?

1346
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,000
Thank you. Thank you.

1347
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,000
Hello.

1348
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000
Excuse me?

1349
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,000
Excuse me, hi.

1350
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000
I need help. I'm very cold.

1351
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Do you know where maybe they'll help me?

1352
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000
Do you know where I could go for some help?

1353
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000
Thank you.

1354
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,000
[speaking indistinctly]

1355
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000
[speaking foreign language]

1356
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000
I only speak English. I'm sorry.

1357
01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,000
[in English] You are Jew?

1358
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,000
Yeah.

1359
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,000
We are need ten Jew men for make minyan

1360
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,000
for Kaddish.

1361
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,000
Prayer for dead.

1362
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,000
I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry--

1363
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,000
Is fine!

1364
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,000
[all praying in foreign language]

1365
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,000
Amen.

1366
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,000
Amen.

1367
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,000
Are you okay?

1368
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,000
Yeah, I've...

1369
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000
I've lost some people.

1370
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,000
Who?

1371
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,000
My parents.

1372
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:32,000
[continues praying]

1373
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,000
[man clears throat]

1374
01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:58,000
Hello.

1375
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,000
Is Herschel.

1376
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,000
Yeah, I figured that out.

1377
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:13,000
Alexa tell me how to fly here.

1378
01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:19,000
I am truly sorry for doing violence to you.

1379
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,000
And getting you deported to Schlupsk.

1380
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,000
I was wrong.

1381
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,000
It's okay.

1382
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,000
Is not okay.

1383
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,000
I was wrong about you.

1384
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:54,000
I thought you did not care about family.

1385
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,000
But now I see with your Boop Bops,

1386
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:59,000
you were just trying to honor family.

1387
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,000
This is why you do not sell Boop Bops

1388
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,000
and you sit alone all day.

1389
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,000
Not because you are coward.

1390
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,000
You not sell Boop Bops

1391
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:12,000
because you are afraid to let down family.

1392
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:14,000
But you do not.

1393
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,000
I never met mother or father,

1394
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,000
but they would be proud.

1395
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:23,000
Sarah would be proud.

1396
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,000
I am very proud.

1397
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,000
You make my vow come true.

1398
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,000
You are everything I hoped family would become.

1399
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,000
Thank you.

1400
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,000
Thank you.

1401
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,000
All right. Come.

1402
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,000
I would like to show you some place.

1403
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000
[Ben] This place is really nice.

1404
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000
I really get it.

1405
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,000
[Herschel] It's very special place.

1406
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,000
This was Sarah's favorite place.

1407
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000
She had good taste.

1408
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,000
She would be very happy to know you see this place.

1409
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:09,000
I'm glad I got to see it.

1410
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,000
You know, I had an idea the other day.

1411
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,000
What? What is idea?

1412
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,000
Promise not to laugh?

1413
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,000
I promise.

1414
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:22,000
Okay, so people love your pickles.

1415
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000
-They do. It's true. -Can't get enough of 'em.

1416
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:27,000
It's the brine. It make people go crazy.

1417
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,000
And, you know, I'm good with the internet,

1418
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,000
good at building websites, things like that.

1419
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000
So I thought maybe I can build a website,

1420
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,000
we sell your pickles to people all around the world.

1421
01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,000
Family business.

1422
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,000
Yeah. Family business.

1423
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,000
You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days.

1424
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000
You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries.

1425
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:47,000
They pickle fruit these days?

1426
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,000
Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot?

1427
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,000
Wait till you hear what they're pickling.

1428
01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,000
Just when I think I figure it out,

1429
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,000
you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, "Oof!"

1430
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,000
It's a crazy world out there, man.

1431
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000
Many people still hate Herschel very much.

1432
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,000
That is true.

1433
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000
I say many terrible things. And if one thing true

1434
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000
in America,

1435
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,000
once you say terrible things, you will never be success.

1436
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,000
That is not true. At all.

1437
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,000
Oh, that's great news.

1438
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,000
Still, we should make some apologies.

1439
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:17,000
All I know is that whatever we do next,

1440
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000
we should do it together.

1441
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,000
Together?

1442
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,000
Yeah.

1443
01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,000
Together.

1444
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,000
[uplifting music playing]

1445
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,000
Do you wanna pray?

1446
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,000
You do not mind?

1447
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000
I don't mind.

1448
01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,000
[praying in foreign language]

1449
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,000
Amen.

1450
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,000
Amen.

1451
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,000
[Herschel] I like her very much.

1452
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,000
-Barbra Streisand? -Yes.

1453
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:26,000
This her name? Barbra Streisand.

1454
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,000
-Babs. -Babs.

1455
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,000
-She very pretty. -Oh, yeah.

1456
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,000
She is Jew.

1457
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:32,000
Oh, yes.

1458
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,000
She is a Jew.

1459
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,000
Very much Jew.

1460
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,000
[Herschel] Very attractive trait,

1461
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,000
dress like boy to go to yeshiva.

1462
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,000
I've always said that.

1463
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,000
She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy.

1464
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,000
But little Jew woman underneath there.

1465
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,000
I like this film very much.

1466
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,000
You're really coloring it in a new way.

1467
01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,000
It's very naughty.

1468
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,000
It is super naughty the way you describe it. Yeah.

1469
01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:58,000
-[Herschel] She is married. -She is.

1470
01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,000
-One day, Barbra Streisand. -[laughs]

1471
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,000
One day.

1348
01:23:02,001 --> 01:23:12,001
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