Nisemonogatari Commentary 2a, v2

Senjougahara: If you look at a heavy truck from front on, it looks somewhat like Heisei-era Kamen rider doesn’t it? Hello, I’m Heisei-era girl Senjougahara Hitagi.
Hanekawa: Heisei-era Girl? Aren’t all girls from the Heisei era in today’s world? Wait, what was before that again?
Senjougahara: I said that if you look at a heavy truck from head on, it looks like the Heisei-era Kamen Rider, doesn’t it?
Hanekawa: Eh? What’s that supposed to mean, what are you talking about?
Senjougahara: See, the glass at the front is the eye shield, the bit in the middle is the mouth –
Hanekawa: Come on Senjougahara-san, it’s the little sisters! Araragi Karen-chan and Araragi Tsukihi-chan, aren’t they cute?
Senjougahara: Why would you ignore me?
Hanekawa: There’s no why, or when, or what or how.
Senjougahara: So who is that with the princess haircut? A little sister? So is that the rumoured middle-sized little sister?
Hanekawa: “Middle-sized little sister”? No, there isn’t one of those.
Senjougahara: Is that so?
Hanekawa: That girl, Tsukihi-chan – she often changes her hairstyle. In the prequel to this, her hairstyle was like this, for the most part. This time though, she cut it all off, just like that!
Senjougahara: Mm? How drastic. If we’re talking about haircuts though, Hanekawa-san, you – well, actually I suppose it might be a little premature to talk about this topic on the commentary.
Hanekawa: Yes, I think that it might be better if we didn’t talk about that on the first volume.
Senjougahara: If you want to hear this conversation, your only option is to buy the second volume.
Hanekawa: You say it in such unpleasant way. Huh? Wait, so would I be ok in taking what you just said as a declaration that you’re volunteering to be the commentator for the second volume?
Senjougahara: If the people will buy it, I will.
Hanekawa: Whoa! An unexpected reply.
Senjougahara: Well, we probably can’t do it with the same people, so I suppose for a partner I’ll call in Kanbaru.
Hanekawa: What are you treating Kanbaru as? Wait, I remember you being asked this question already, around episode 3 or so.
Senjougahara: If you want me to be honest rather than say something entertaining, I would say that Kanbaru is a very convenient underclassman.
Hanekawa: You’re the worst. You’re right, that wasn’t entertaining.
Senjougahara: Eh? Do you think that anyone would be happy to be called an inconvenient underclassman?
Hanekawa: Even if you call them convenient, no-one would be happy about it.
Senjougahara: Wait, be quiet for a second.
*OP STARTS*
What is this famous music? This song that will leave a mark upon history, to surely be put side by side amongst the classics, with melody that makes you shiver in… wait a second. This isn’t mine.
Hanekawa: It sure isn’t. This is Karen-chan’s opening.
Senjougahara: Eh? Why? For what reason? I don’t understand, I just don’t. Why would someone else’s song play?
Hanekawa: Well come on, this is fundamentally Karen-chan’s story, “Karen Bee”, you know? Isn’t it a given that Karen-chan’s song would play?
Senjougahara: Eh.
Hanekawa: You seem very dissatisfied there. But wait, surely you would know already, seeing as you watched the television broadcast. The fact that the second episode uses Karen-chan’s OP, that is.
Senjougahara: You’re right. I carelessly forgot. I was just in that mindset where when I think of openings, I think of me.
Hanekawa: This is a very Karen-like, energetic song, isn’t it?
Senjougahara: To have such a cool person as a little sister must be some serious pressure.
Hanekawa: Yeah, it would.
Senjougahara:  She’s taller than you, she can fight, and she’s super-popular. You can kind of understand why Araragi-kun would act so antagonistically towards her.
Hanekawa: Well, it’s true at least that Araragi-kun does seem to have a kind of complex with regards to his sister.
Senjougahara: That’s likely to be true even for Tsukihi-san, too.
Hanekawa: Oh, this part. Is this what you were talking about before, the “running opening”?
Senjougahara: No, this kid is running way too much. I’ve never seen an opening with running so hard that it produces fire. This girl could be Kanbaru’s equal.
Hanekawa: There may or may not have been an episode that involves something like that in the second half of the Nisemonogatari anime.
Senjougahara: I don’t mean to say this in an incidental manner, but with Kanbaru as she is, I actually have a bit of a complex with regards to her as well. She’s so straightforwardly stupid. I’m so envious I can’t help myself.
Hanekawa: Wouldn’t it be ok to tell her that kind of thing?
*PART A STARTS*
Well, we’ve started. Sengoku’s entrance!
Senjougahara: Clap Clap Clap.
Hanekawa: I’ll just check again: it’s ok for you to know, right? For you, Senjougahara-san, to know about Sengoku-chan.
Senjougahara: Well, ordinarily.
Hanekawa: “Ordinarily”… To what degree, I wonder.
Senjougahara: I may know more about Sengoku-chan than Araragi-kun, even.
Now that I think of it, there was a time where I, too, worked up my courage and put my bangs up in front of Araragi-kun.
Hanekawa: Oh? Was there? Ah, that time where you were eating your lunchboxes together? Episode 12 of the previous work? The final episode of the television broadcast? That wasn’t courage; that was just being laid back. It was the kind of hairstyle you would wear during mealtimes when at home, no?
Senjougahara: No, no. That was an act to show off the supposed laid-back side of myself, a pretence to make it seem as if I’d opened up my heart. Pure femininity.
Hanekawa: More like feminine wiles. If you have such femininity, shouldn’t your life be showier?
Senjougahara: I just have confidence in my acting ability, really. But, it is as you say. Or rather, I’m even more easy-going with him these days. Things like being inadvertently naked in front of him after leaving the shower.
Hanekawa: Wasn’t that one of the very first things you did?
Senjougahara: She just locked the door.
Hanekawa: She locked the door, alright.
Senjougahara: This girl. Her dedication. To crime prevention. Is wonderful. How Admirable. Yes.
Hanekawa: You don’t have to try that hard to exhibit maturity, you know.
Senjougahara: What is it, I wonder? When everyone expects me to get angry, the motivation to actually do so is hard to muster.
Hanekawa: Aren’t you contrary. What kind of disposition is that supposed to be?
Senjougahara: I won’t be specific, but I accidentally picked up the personality trait from a particular person that I dislike so much as to say I despise them. It’s the part of myself that I want to change more than any other.
On top of the bed. Oh, that’s completely fine. Yes, and if the room is hot, why not strip completely naked while you’re at it.
Hanekawa: Now now, your composure is disappearing. You know, if you continue to ignore what’s happening here, it could gradually turn into something quite serious. A stitch in time saves nine, they say; you’ll feel relieved if you just get it over with.
Senjougahara: By that, I assume you mean I should decapitate Araragi-kun?
Hanekawa: No!
Senjougahara: I should become Hanekawa Tsubasa?
Hanekawa: Don’t alter my name like that!
Senjougahara: Oh! Tank-top - sexy.
Hanekawa: He can be a somewhat lean guy, but seeing him like this really makes you think of him as a man. Those abs are wonderful, too.
Senjougahara: We can’t see the abs right now, though.
This shot of her underarms is sexy too, isn’t it? I feel like I’ve been beaten as an adult somehow.
Hanekawa: An adult shouldn’t feel beaten over underarms.
Senjougahara: So how about you, Hanekawa-san. Can you pull off the strap-half-broken look?
Hanekawa: Without feeling the need to, I would say I couldn’t. But wait, did this particular manner of dress always have a name like that?
Senjougahara: No, I that was just something I made that up then. It’s surprising when an unimportant concept actually has a name, isn’t it?
Hanekawa: Have you ever played the King’s Game, Senjougahara-san?
Senjougahara: Not recently, but yes, I was accustomed to playing it back in the day.
Hanekawa: So you’ve played it before?
Senjougahara: That’s right.
Hanekawa: By yourself?
Senjougahara: By myself.
This bookcase is fake, right? It’s not a real bookcase?
Hanekawa: That’s how it is. I’ve talked with Sengoku-chan before, which is why I know this, but that girl basically just reads manga. She’s a big fan of Doraemon.
Senjougahara: Once, Kanbaru wrote “Doraemon” using the character for “naked” where the “ra” should have been. “A naked robot from the future”, she would say.
Hanekawa: That girl has probably transformed every word with “ra” in it into the “naked” version.
Senjougahara: From here, the conversation takes a serious turn.
Hanekawa: In order to have a serious conversation though, there’s a standard amount of messing around that needs to occur first. I’ve always wondered if there’s a rule stating something along those lines within Araragi-kun.
Senjougahara: Personally, I’m completely fine with having an exclusively serious conversation. The Araragi-kun of the past – while these days he seems much more optimistic, the old Araragi-kun was all nihilistic and cool, I quite liked that version of him too. As his classmate I was a bit wary of him, though.
Hanekawa: So you were?
Senjougahara: Well you would, of course –gana.
Hanekawa: “Gana”?
(Senjougahara affixed a weird suffix to her last comment)
Senjougahara: Throughout the entire time I was in his class, I’ve always been closely observing Araragi-kun as he fell on hard times. As a result, I know his personality well.
Hanekawa: You mean fall behind, right? If we’re talking about his school grades, that is.
Senjougahara: Oh, I made a genuine mistake. But that fits too, he’s fallen on hard times as well, after all.
Hanekawa: No, it’s not like Araragi-kun’s life is actually in ruins yet.
Senjougahara: Because we were only beginning we managed to get this far without touching on the subject, but I’ll bring it up now. Why on earth do we have to go the lengths of even using up our summer holidays to help him with his studies?
Hanekawa: You’re not supposed to have a problem with that. To explain the context here, Araragi-kun decided he wanted to go to University, so we as a kind of repayment for all he had done for us, we decided to volunteer to be his tutors.
Senjougahara: But it’s definitely weird to try to compensate him like this. Why would you have to go that far?
Hanekawa: Actually, there’s a good reason for it.
Senjougahara: The little sisters here undeniably cute.
Hanekawa: They are, aren’t they?
Senjougahara: While I think they’re both cute, in this particular scene, if I had to choose between them I would pick Karen-chan’s pose. Why, you ask?
Hanekawa: “Why, you ask?”… I didn’t particularly ask anything.
Senjougahara: The reason: the eye-covering pose is erotic, you see.
Hanekawa: Well that’s a shallow reason.
Senjougahara: I’ve kept quiet when it comes to kind of thing because I was concerned about the possibility that some thoughtless people could take it the wrong way.
Hanekawa: One vote for “continue to keep quiet”.
Senjougahara: See, I’ve got a bit of a blindfold fetish.
Hanekawa: The will of the people has been ignored.
Senjougahara: But everyone has a fetish of some kind, right? I’d prefer it if you didn’t dismiss me out of hand.
Hanekawa: Well, I suppose I can admit that much.
Senjougahara: Right? It’s normal. Like how I used to derive satisfaction from blindfolding my father with his necktie while he was sleeping, stuff like that.
Hanekawa: Absolutely not! Wait, “stuff like that”? Did you really just say that? Don’t tell me you have more anecdotes like that!
Senjougahara: These quick flashback cuts are all extremely suggestive.  What exactly did this guy get up to back in volume 4 of the prequel?
Hanekawa: Looks like the Sengoku household section is finishing up. You know, I also think that Sengoku-chan looks cute with her bangs up.
Senjougahara: I don’t actually know what she looks like with her hair down, so I can’t comment. But tell you what, I bet you that right now, Tsukihi-san – that Tsukihi-san is all like “instead of Nadeko, you’re more like odeko (forehead) right now” in reference to this hairstyle.
Hanekawa: You’ve never even talked to her before, don’t try to guess what she would say.
Senjougahara: It seems like they’re going to play Twister next. How about it, have you ever played Twister before Hanekawa-san?
Hanekawa: Never. And have you ever played by yourself…?
Senjougahara: I have. But come on, this one is actually fun to play even when you’re by yourself, so it is fine isn’t it?  Getting into weird positions and accidentally stabbing yourself as you try to spin the spinner?
Hanekawa: You should play with Araragi-kun sometime.
Senjougahara: Yeah, after all it seems like he’s intimately well acquainted with the game now.
That pose… Rather than just looking like a pervert, that’s straight up perversion.
Hanekawa: Both spaghetti straps have come off her shoulders, too.
Senjougahara: To think! She’s chanced upon the legendary double-broken-strap technique. You know, she said “if she sees me dressed like this”, referring to the camisole and mini skirt, but even more problematic is the pose they’re in.
Hanekawa: You’re right.
Senjougahara: If they used blindfolds on top of that, that would complete the package.
Hanekawa: It would be great if you could restrain yourself from going into detail about your blindfold fetish, but I guess it doesn’t matter.
Senjougahara: And as you’re saying that, she’s almost here.
Hanekawa: She certainly is.
Senjougahara: Enter: an idiot. Sorry for making you wait; here’s the Valhalla combination’s dumber half, Kanbaru Suruga.
Hanekawa: “The Valhalla combination’s dumber half”… Come on, let’s talk about how her hairstyle has changed instead.
Senjougahara: Look, at this point I wouldn’t mind if people started calling us the Valstupid combination from now on.
Hanekawa: If they did that, the part that comes from [i]your[/i] name is the one that’s getting replaced with stupid.
Senjougahara: Wait up a minute. “I’ll get naked right away”?
Hanekawa: Kanbaru-san only seems to say incredible things.
Senjougahara: She only says incredible things, and only undresses her clothing.
Hanekawa: I’m not sure what you could remove other than clothing when you undress, after all.
Senjougahara: She’s a fearsome junior, isn’t she? Incidentally, is this dam in our city? When did the city even build that?
Hanekawa: In any case, Kanbaru sure is capable of completely changing the mood. It’s like a completely different anime, all of a sudden.
Senjougahara: She got those clothes off quickly, too. And she’s actually getting completely naked. I know it’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to say to those your junior, but what the hell is this girl thinking?
Hanekawa: Oh? But aren’t you the person who made her like this? You’re her master, right?
Senjougahara: No you see, while I may be her master of eroticism, I am not her master of stupidity. Even when it comes to eroticism, I believe that Kanbaru lacks mystique. She’s just too open about it. You’ve gotta be more subtle, you know? I must have failed to teach her the value of secrecy.
Hanekawa: And I think that you’re too open about your fetishes, Senjougahara-san. Keep it to yourself.
Senjougahara: Keep it to myself? That’s a pretty straightforward response.
Hanekawa: The “nude training camp” they’re talking about around here – is that really a joke? Or did that actually happen? Which is it?
Senjougahara: Who knows? This is something that supposedly happened during the period after our relationship soured, after all. It seems plausible, though. As long as you consider the way she thinks, and her environment at the time.
Hanekawa: Well, perhaps it’s best to not delve too deeply on this.
Senjougahara: Simply put, Kanbaru has a nakedness fetish.
Hanekawa: After all that, rather than a fetish, I’d say she’s just normal, no?
Senjougahara: And while we were talking, Kanbaru received divine punishment.
Hanekawa: To think that Kanbaru was a grandmother’s girl. That’s cute, really.
Senjougahara: It seems as if there’s an implicit rule not to be naked in front of granny.
Hanekawa: But as we saw in the prequel, you were fine with being naked in your own home. And even while Araragi-kun was over. Surely you are both her master of eroticism and stupidity.
Senjougahara: I wouldn’t even flinch from something as small as being seen naked by my father, though.
Hanekawa: That statement was only barely ok.
Senjougahara: I’ve never seen this expression on Araragi-kun’s face.
Hanekawa: He really must have been pretty fed up with Kanbaru messing with him. And yet, he isn’t giving the very same Kanbaru much sympathy here, is he? It looks like he’d much rather watch her suffer.
Senjougahara: He’s such a small person. Say something to console her, come on.
Hanekawa: By the way, Senjougahara-san, what would you say in this situation?
Senjougahara: You’re embarrassing (HAzukashii), careless (DArashinai) and sad (KAnashii). I’d write it out as HADAKA (naked).
Hanekawa: You sure tampered with that insult.
Oh, it’s Karen-chan’s intro!
Senjougahara: An idiot’s intro.
Hanekawa: Don’t call peoples’ sisters idiots.
Part A: finished!