The S'more The Merrier

>The squeal of the brakes and the sudden stop signaled the two kids in the back to finally open their eyes.
>To their surprise, the car was in one piece.
>Death had been escaped yet another day.
>"Wow, that totes took 3 hours less than it did last time. And the fender is still on!"
>The excited blonde in the front was the only one who took the time to consider the impressive saving of time.
>All three other passengers in the vehicle stumbled out slowly from the vehicle, trying desperately to regain not only the feeling in their legs but also their equilibrium.
>The youngest of the three steadied himself on the back of the van, hoping the crisp air would settle his stomach.
>Right up until the fruit salad he'd had for lunch came back.
>Luckily it was easy to cover up with the fallen leaves nearby.
>The boy didn't want to make anyone else vomit by virtue of seeing him tossing his cookies.
>Speaking of cookies, he definitely heard the telltale sound of his sister vacating the van.
>Namely because she was still going through that bag of pecan sandies.
>”You don't look too good over there, Lyle.”
“That's normal. Mom drives like she's in a death race or something. What I don't understand about you is how you can EAT.”
>”I was hungry.”
“I will never understand that stomach of yours, Liena.”
>Lyle's big sister simply shrugged as she ate her extremely dry cookies.
>Soon, the two of them were joined in the back by a tall man with snow white hair.
>Still trying to catch his own breath.
>”Hey, kiddos. You're okay, right?”
>”Yeah, we're  fine, dad.”
“Are you alright?”
>”Yeah. Just, uh, wondering if we passed any cops on the way here.”
>”I think that if we did, we'd have already been arrested.”
>”You're probably right.”
>Finally coming off of his adrenaline rush, their father slowly made his way to the back of the van and opened up the back.
>An avalanche of camping gear buried them in short order.
>What a way to start their vacation.


>Digging themselves out, the three brushed off the dirt covering them and slowly began to sort their supplies into piles.
>As they began their work, the woman who drove them to the campsite in record time finally came out out the front seat while still clutching her lipbalm.
>”Oh, you guys are already starting.”
>”Yeah. I figure if we get it done now, we won't have to worry about wrestling with it in the dark.”
>”That leaves us more time for smores!”
>As he set down the pair of oars currently in his hands, Lyle gave an exaggerated sigh.
“Of course that's where your mind goes.”
>”Hey, smores are a time honored camping tradition.”
>”Your sister's right, I remember sitting around and roasting marshmallows back when I was a kid. Good times.”
>”Didn't you catch on fire once when we used to go camping?”
>”Let's not bring that up.”
”Wait, you caught on fire?”
>”It's not that important.”
>”Being on fire sounds pretty important to me.”
>”Look, if we get this stuff all taken care of before nightfall, I'll tell you guys the story, how about that?”
>The two kids began to pick up their pace, now interested in hearing about the time their father caught on fire.
>Lincoln smiled as he watched his quick thinking get put into action.
>Until he saw his wife also joining in.
>”Honey, why are you racing to get done?”
>”So I can hear your story, duh.”
>”But you already know the story.”
>”Yeah, but I like when you tell me stories.”
>Before he could reign her back in, she joined their children in setting up their campsite.
>Lincoln simply shrugged as he got back to work himself.

>The trio of blondes, having finally gotten through with their tasks, sat down on the weathered old picnic bench near them.
>Not one of them had their breath.
>Setting the cooler firmly on the table, Lincoln sat down with them and cracked another smile.
>”Wow, you all worked fast. Maybe we should come camping more often.”
>”St-story.”
>Liena barely wheezed out the word before collapsing onto the table, it creaking as her weight warped the frame.
>”First I have to set up the fire. We can't have a story without a fire, you know.”
>Realizing his father was right about the camping protocol, Lyle slowly got off of the bench and went to grab the Duraflame log from the back.
>Only to realize it wasn't there.
“Uh, Dad, we bought the stuff for the fire, right?”
>”Yeah, Liena was in charge of that.”
>”Oh...”
“What was that 'Oh' back there for, Liena?”
>”I was busy putting in the propane tank, so I asked Mom to do it.”
>”Which I totes did!”
>Leni dug into her camping purse to reveal a box of matches.
>”I even counted to make sure we even had all of them in there.”
>”Did you by any chance put in the Duraflame log?”
>”The what now?”
>Liena kept her head down as she trailed her foot in the dirt.
>”Well, it's okay. I'll just go get one from the kiosk. Can you guys set up the sleeping bags while I'm gone?”
>As he shut the door and made his way back to his original seat, Lyle gave his father a thumbs up.
>”Alright. I'll be back as soon as I can.”
>The three of them waved goodbye as the van departed the campsite.
>While their mother was distracted, Lyle gave his sister a quick slug in her arm.
>”Ow!”
>”Are you okay, pumpkin?”
“She's fine, Mom. She just forgot to check for splinters before she sat down. Why don't you start on the sleeping bags, I'll make sure she's fine.”
>”Okay, be safe you two.”
“We will.”

>As their mother departed, Liena looked up at Lyle who was currently shooting her the dirtiest look he could muster.
>”That hurt! What the hell did you that for, Lyle?”
“You know very well what that was for! You left our mother in charge of the most important part of the trip!”
>”I was gonna check!”
“Then why didn't you!?”
>”I forgot.”
>Lyle slugged her once more in her flabby arm.
>”Quit it!”
“You're lucky that's all I'm doing to you! You could have ruined this trip!”
>”Why are you so worked up?”
“Because this trip was all about me having a good time with Dad, which you almost ruined!”
>”Don't tell me this is about that, again.”
“You know very well it is.”
>”Lyle, Dad loves you. You know he does.”
“He might love me today, but what about tomorrow? Or the day after? I have to make this the perfect camping trip so we'll have great memories to cherish forever.”
>”I don't get why you're so paranoid about Dad not loving you anymore. You're not like this with Mom.”
>Lyle slowly rested his hand on his face as he groaned.
“Liena, you know as well as I do that Mom doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She loves everyone. Except spiders. I don't have to worry about losing her love.”
>”Then why do you worry about losing Dad's love?”
“Because Dad's not like Mom is! And you should be scared too, with how you keep screwing up stuff for him.”
>”I do not!”
“Remember his birthday cake?”
>”That wasn't my fault, the frosting expired!”
“And whose turn was it to buy groceries with Mom that week?”
>”Lyle, all those books you keep reading about estranged father/son relationships are messing with you.”
”This coming from the girl who still has a crush on Gordon Ramsay?”
>”What Gordon and I have is special!”
“Look, just make sure you don't goof anything else up, okay? We only get one camping trip a year and I don't want to waste it. Okay?”
>"Fine."
"Your cooperation is appreciated."