- Hi, I’m Mr. McDonner, descendant of the (allegedly) failed Donner Expedition! Welcome to Spanker's Barbecue Supplies and Tanning Beds! I’m afraid the boss is out doing… whatever it is he does every day to bring the weekly supplies.
- Oh, the store name? Well, naturally there’s part of the boss’ name (he always says that his parents got stoned often). Plus, there’s the whole schtick about multiuse grills. Apparently there’s only a few degrees of difference between “baking under the sun” and “grilling”. Anyway, those aren’t as popular anymore because of a few accidents involving broken knobs and fifth-degree burns, but the name still stands!
- Our stocks? Well, not gonna lie to you. There’s been a few sales in the past, alongside those trigger-inducing ARs, but nowadays? Store’s pretty much a glorified warehouse for investments. Most sales come from items the boss scrounges and tries to advert publicly. Afraid even those don’t sell for much anyway, what with all those lovely 1-meat undercutters. Boss tries to keep prices fair, but always with that weird thing of his to keep them ending in sixes and nines. Gotta live up to the name, I suppose. But I’d keep an eye out every now and then! Sometimes we stock up on some valuable commodities. Dunno where or how the boss makes them. From what I hear, vomit is profitable, or something. Go figure.
- Anyway, don’t be shy, especially if you’re an aspiring collector! Boss really doesn’t like to dispose of his ill-gotten gains.
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