Legion of (fluffy) Doom

>you can't believe it.
>for years you've been battling these do-gooder idiots in brightly-colored tights
>you've personally thrown everything but the kitchen sink at the Big Blue Boy Scout.
>scratch that... you actually did plaster him with a kitchen sink when you had your power armor.
>but this... you never imagined it would actually happen
>fortunately Mxyzptlk, as smart as he is, can be a royal dumbass.
>you tricked him into turning the Justice League into those retarded designer bio-toys - fluffy ponies
>you'd swear with their idiocy and god-awful shitting that another supervillain designed them. but no, it was Hasbro.
>you may have to invest in the company and see what else they're working on. but that's for later.
>now it's time to play.
>"supahfwuffy stawp wex wutha! giff big huwties!"
>you almost pee yourself laughing
>scratch that... you did pee yourself. gotta get that prostate checked.
>"What're you gonna do, Supes? buck me to death? Use your heat vision to melt me?"
>"dat's wight! supahfwuffy gon buwn yu!"
>this is the real test. if what happens is what you think is going to happen...
>then you're about to have the best day of your life.
>the pony, white with a black mane and tail, wears the ridiculous Superman costume
>it fits him reasonably well, but he still looks like a retard.
>superfluffy concentrates and a thin red beam emits from his eyes
>it scorches your pants, leaving a slight burn mark
>bingo. that little imp did well. not only are the Justice League reduced to idiot ponies, their power has been reduced as well
>"You all can come out now. These things couldn't do permanent damage with a bulldozer."
>the rest of the Legion of Doom emerged from their hiding places in the swamp
>Joker, Grodd, Black Manta, Sinestro and Captain Cold
>normally at these odds, you'd be fucked. fucked hard.
>but now... this shit's about to get UGLY.
>"Whoo hah! HAH HAH HAH! That's the best joke I've ever seen! Except maybe the one about the hooker and the donkey..."
>the Joker chortled to himself as Gorilla Grodd cracked his gigantic knuckles. not that he needed the superhuman strength... he was one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet
>Sinestro started to warm up his power ring. its yellow glow shined in the ponies eyes.
>Captain Cold, the man who mastered absolute zero temperatures - grinned as he pulled his cold gun from its holster
>if the Flash could run at the speed of light before... the fluffy Flash could probably waddle at about ten miles an hour.
>the villains couldn't believe their good luck. they were all grinning from ear to ear, just waiting to launch their wrath upon their greatest nemeses.
>the martian fluffhunter, sensing danger, turned invisible.
>well, what he thought was invisible. all he really did was turn orange.
>wonder fluffy grabber her magic lasso and started twirling it... just like she would when she was Wonder Woman.
>well, that turned out to be a bad move when she tied herself up in it.
>batfluffy growled under his mask. before at least a few people could understand him. now with a retarded speech impediment it was nigh impossible
>"fwuffy am da dawk. fwuffy am da night! i be batfwuffy!"
>fluffy flash started revving up his legs to build speed. they started moving rapidly, faster than even Sonic the Hedgehog
>aquafluffy dove into the swamp. and drowned.
>Black Manta stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the dead body of his greatest enemy. aquafluffy's leg twitched slightly and he sunk unceremoniously to the bottom of the swamp
>"Well, ain't that a bitch."
>"nuuuuuuuuu! agwafwuffy!" screeched the fluffy flash. he charged at Captain Cold, intending to knock out the villain and then take out his frustrations on Black Manta
>that might have worked, if he wasn't running so fast that his little stubby legs had ground themselves into hamburger.
>he had run so fast in one place that he obliterated his own limbs
>flopping around on the ground, fluffy flash sobbed and cried, wiggling what little remained of his stumps
>Captain Cold adjusted his visor and stepped forward, jamming his cold gun in the fluffy's anus. he pulled the trigger, freezing the fluffy from the inside out, leaving only its head unfrozen
>the fluffy gagged, unable to breathe, unable to swallow. its eyes started to bug out.
>"cuh... cuh... cowwwwwwwwd..."
>"That's Captain Cold, dipshit."
>he lifted one of his white, fur-lined boots and brought it down on fluffy flash's back. its frozen body shattered into thousands of pieces, leaving only its head
>the fluffy's eyes stared up at the villain, who was peeing himself laughing.
>literally. he better get a prostate check, too.
>Sinestro was actually getting bored waiting for fluffy lantern to attack him
>he kept getting distracted with his own power ring
>"fwuffy wantewn make... make sketties! nu... make... make monkey wench! nu! wait! make... make sketties!"
>Sinestro, almost disappointed at his opponent's lack of skill, simply created a dozen yellow power drills and started sinking them into the soft flesh of the green wonder.
>he started screaming, begging for mercy. hah. some green lantern he turned out to be. even Gnort put up a better fight
>Sinestro grinned maniacally as he sunk the drills into fluffy lantern's eyes, skull, and balls.
>he screamed and collapsed to the ground, dead as a doornail. his power ring popped off his front hoof and rolled across the muddy ground
>"That was too easy! Manta - put on the ring and give me a real fight."
>Black Manta was occupied, though. he had dove into the swamp and retrieved aquafluffy's corpse.
>he was eating it.
>"Yo, broheim, you got any barbecue sauce up in this bitch?"
>"I knew you were a black fellow under there, but you do have to be so stereotypical?"
>"Back off, ya giant forehead-having motherfucker, and whip up some hot sauce and grape soda with that ring of yours."
>Joker was having a grand old time, cutting off batfluffy's limbs with an oversized magician's saw.
>the cowled fluffy pony screamed bloody murder. this only prompted the clown prince of crime to shove an acid-spitting carnation in his anus
>"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GLAAAAAAARRRRRRBLLEEE..."
>"HAH HAH HAH! Oh, Bats... I do wish you'd enunciate when you spoke. Honestly, you sould like you gargled broken glass and sandpaper. HAH HAH HEE HEE!"
>Gorilla Grodd stood back, howling like a... howler monkey.
>he had used his telekinesis to shove the martin fluffhunter's head into wonder fluffy's anus and vice verse. they now resembled some sort of fucked-up fluffy pisces symbol.
>in a matter of seconds, they had choked to death on each other's gassy rectums.
>Luthor had to admit he was a little disappointed that he had to resort to such trickery to beat his enemy
>fuck it. this was war. it had been going on for years. felt like decades. and he was tired.
>he just wanted to kick back and have a cigar. maybe tinker with some new science gadgets.
>he wanted superman dead and this was the easiest way to make it happen
>Luthor drew his weapon of choice... a custom-made kryptonite-bladed knife
>standing over his enemey, he grinned.
>"No one to save you now, alien."
>"supahfwuffy giff big huwties..."
>"Yeah. That's not going to happen."
>Lex Luthor threw himself on top of the fluffy pony, beating the holy hell out of it. even a man of his average build was able to cause some severe damage to the weak, feeble fluffy pony.
>he raised the knife over his head and brought it down, driving the blade into the fluffy's heart
>standing up, Luthor applauded his cohorts for their jobs well done.
>"Excellent. Excellent work. Today is truly a new step forward for mankind! And fluffy kind, as it were. Heh."
>standing over the slaughtered bodies of their former enemies, the LOD looked at Luthor
>"So what do we do now, boss?" muttered Captain Cold, sipping from a conveniently-placed beer
>"Let's go fuck up the Teen Titans."
>"YEAH! L - O - D! L - O - D!"
>as the Legion of Doom headed back to the giant Darth Vader's head-shaped base, superfluffy's leg twitched slightly...
>then he super shat himself.

THE END