Sextuplets (2019)

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["Say Hey (I Love You)" plays]

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♪ Hey ♪

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- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪

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♪ I say, hey, I'll be gone today ♪

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♪ But I'll be back all around the way ♪

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♪ It seems like everywhere I go ♪

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♪ The more I see, the less I know ♪

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- ♪ But I know ♪
- ♪ I know ♪

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[Alan] You know, this Lamaze class
got me concerned.

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Is there really a chance that you're gonna
stop breathin' while givin' birth?

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- What?
- Like everything is going great,

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and I'm like, "One, two, three,"
and your face turns blue,

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and you stop breathing,
I'm like, "Breathe! Breathe!" [laughs]

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Alan, it's about us being ready.

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It's about us doing this together.

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Well, you know, girl, doing this together
is what got us here in the first place.

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Except your breathing was more like,
"Oh, Alan!

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- Oh, it's amazing!"
- Alan.

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- "Oh, Alan, it's so big!"
- Alan!

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- "It's so big!"
- Stop it! You're being ridiculous!

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[laughs]

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Oh, I gotta get back to work.
It's the last day before maternity leave.

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- I'm gonna miss work.
- Yeah, I wish I could say the same.

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- Linda's on a warpath.
- Oh.

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Apparently, Doug pitched a new
holiday e-card, and it didn't go so well.

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Babe, who's gonna send an e-card

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for someone graduating from rehab
for the second time?

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Well, it was a lot better
than "Happy Hoe-loween".

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You know, for women that wear
slutty costumes.

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Or what about "White Kwanzaa,"
which makes absolutely no sense at all.

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And don't forget to tell Linda
you're taking paternity leave.

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I know. Listen, nothing's more important
to me than my family,

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not even a partnership

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at the company I've been
busting my ass for all these years.

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You think maybe I should've
just slept my way to the top?

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Okay, babe. I'll see you later.

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Don't think Linda want it?
You see the way Linda looks at your boy!

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- Not interested in that conversation.
- Don't be jealous.

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- Mm-mm.
- [laughs]

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- I love you.
- [Marie] Love you, too.

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Bye.

42
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Linda, I wanna apologize for the pitch.

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You know, I've been delegating more
to the team, and I want...

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Y-You know, 'cause the baby's due soon...

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I know you got a lot on your plate, Alan.

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I won't pretend to understand,
I never wanted babies. Ick!

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[stammers] You know, um...

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I-I-I don't usually drink at work.

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[Linda] Hmm.

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- [slurps]
- Oh, damn.

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[gulps]

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Alan.

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There was a time when you took charge.

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You were aggressive. You dressed the part.

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You were becoming
the face of this company, literally!

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Now... everything's about...

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[mocking] "The baby. Ooh, me and my mom.
The baby is great." [grunts]

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Linda, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

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[stammers] I'm gonna be
taking some time off.

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- What?
- Just a month or so.

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It's like paternity leave.

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[Linda] Paternity leave?!

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You're in line for a partnership.

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Do you really think, Alan,
this is the right time to vacay?

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It's not a vacay.
I just want to be there for my family.

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And you know what?
That partnership, I earned it.

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Now, I have a baby appointment,
and I promised Marie I'd be there.

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[Linda] Fine!

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[mocking] Go to your little appointment
with your sonogram and your gel.

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[Dr. Greenberg] Everything looks great.

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Right where you'd expect to be
at 35 weeks.

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- [Marie chuckles]
- Thank you. Lights, please.

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Now, because of your advanced
maternal age...

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Uh, I'm only 35.

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- And 35 is really 15 in Black-people age.
- Mm-hmm.

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You know that black don't crack...

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[both]...unless you smoke it. Okay?

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Sure, but 35 is still considered
an elevated risk pregnancy.

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- Uh, no pre-eclampsia in your family?
- No.

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- No food allergies? No history of cancer?
- No.

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No, she has A-plus genes.

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You know, her daddy's a federal judge.

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She graduated top of her class
at Columbia Law,

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and she's the first
female partner in her firm.

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Hey, Doc...

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I trapped her.

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[both laugh]

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Uh, so...

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- Uh, one more thing...
- [Marie] Hmm?

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Alan... we don't have your family history.

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Oh, well, there's a perfectly good
explanation for that. I don't have one.

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See, I was put up for adoption,
and I was raised in foster homes.

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I moved around a lot.
I never really met my birth mother.

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Hence, no family medical history.

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[Marie] But...

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he checked out great
after his last physical.

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That's right.

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You are lookin'
at one perfect human specimen.

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Now, what more could you ask for?

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Girl!

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- Look at that!
- [Marie laughs]

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- Little baby gonna come out buff. [grunts]
- [growls]

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[upbeat music plays]

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[dog barking]

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[Alan] Why can't they just
put it in the chart,

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"Don't know family medical history"?

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She has to ask.
She's not judging you, baby.

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So what if I don't know if my family
has high blood pressure or diabetes,

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or the gene that gives you
the little webby thing between your toes

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that makes it impossible
to wear flip-flops?

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Listen, black people
don't even wear flip-flops.

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You're right, baby, we don't.

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Makes our heel hard and our baby toe ashy.

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[laughs]

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You know, and I've tried
every DNA website there is.

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I mean, all I found out was
I may be related to Cleopatra...

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and I'm 1/23 Irish.

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Alan, my father
is a federal circuit judge.

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I've told you this a million times.

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He'd be happy to help you
find your family.

121
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No. No, Marie.

122
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That man don't like me.

123
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He stopped liking you
after you started liking me.

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I don't wanna owe that man anything.

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Look, Alan.

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If this is as important to you
as you say it is,

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now is the perfect time to ask.

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[Alan] Who has a Sunday brunch
on a Saturday?

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Not even white folks do that.

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[Marie] My mom insisted.

131
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[Alan] Aw, I love your mommy.

132
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Only thing I don't like about your mommy
is your daddy.

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[both laughing]

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Surprise!

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[both gasp]

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- Oh.
- [Marie laughs]

137
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Mommy!

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- Oh, my little Pooh Bear!
- Oh!

139
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Never surprise a pregnant lady.

140
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Don't y'all know that?

141
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- Yeah, my water almost broke.
- [Janet] Marie.

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The whole family is here for you.

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Really?

144
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Your sisters, every aunt, uncle, cousin!

145
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- Cousins, cousins, cousins.
- Oh, Mom.

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- This is like a Tyler Perry movie in here.
- Oh, stop it.

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[Alan] So, Doug, your date,
she seems really, um...

148
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- outgoing.
- Oh, yeah.

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- She's a Russian aerial dancer.
- [Alan] Okay.

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- You know, like with ribbons?
- Yeah, yeah.

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That, or she's a spy.

152
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Or maybe she's just a thief. I'm not sure.

153
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But I'm keeping my sensitive documents
in a safe just in case.

154
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Smart man.

155
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- Doug.
- Marie.

156
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Oh, thank you so much for coming!

157
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Oh, such a great shower!

158
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- And these mommy-mosas are on fleek.
- [Marie] Right?

159
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- We don't say that.
- Mm-mm.

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Uh, off the chain.

161
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- That's old.
- No.

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- They're the bomb.
- [Alan and Marie] Stop.

163
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Uh, shit, she's stealing.

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- [Marie] What?
- Excuse me.

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- [speaking Russian] Nyet, nyet, nyet.
- Da.

166
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So...

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Dad's at the grill,

168
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so now's the perfect chance
to talk to him.

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[sizzling]

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- Hey.
- Hmm?

171
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Um...

172
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- Dad, I was...
- Ooh.

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Sorry. Judge...

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- Mm-hmm.
- [Alan] Sir.

175
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I got something I wanted
to talk to you about.

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You know, I wasn't exactly in favor

177
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of you marrying my daughter.

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Yeah.

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You kind of mentioned that
during the wedding,

180
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when the preacher said,
"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

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You... you didn't hold your peace.

182
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Alan, I'm trying to make sure
that you understand that you're...

183
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you're about to become
the father of my grandchild.

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I know this. And that... that... Sir.

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[stammering] I leased a brand new SUV.

186
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It's red, so everybody knows it's coming.

187
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Got the little "Baby On Board" sticker
in the back,

188
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:25,958
and I'm almost finished with the nursery.

189
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I got a few finishing touches
to put on, but...

190
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- [sizzling]
- [Leland] Damn it.

191
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That's not what I'm talking about.

192
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Son...

193
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I want to share something with you.

194
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Family is everything.

195
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You don't have a family.

196
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:50,833
Now, Marie brings generations of success
to the table.

197
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,250
What exactly are you bringing?

198
00:07:55,791 --> 00:07:57,291
I can throw with both arms.

199
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:01,041
- You can throw with both arms?
- Mm-hmm.

200
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Listen, sir.

201
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I want to find my birth family.

202
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:08,625
But see, I need a court order

203
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:10,666
to unseal my adoption records.

204
00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:13,708
- Well, just so I'm clear...
- Yes.

205
00:08:13,791 --> 00:08:15,125
- So I'm clear...
- Mm-hmm.

206
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,458
You're asking me for a favor?

207
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:17,958
Not a favor. Like a...

208
00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:19,041
"Favor" is a big word.

209
00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:20,916
Like... adjust it. A "solid".

210
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No, no. I wanna hear "favor."
"Solid" doesn't work here.

211
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Can we not say "favor" so hard?

212
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"Judge, could you do me a favor?"
Can you say something like that?

213
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:30,875
Can you do me a f...

214
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[exhales]

215
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:35,000
Can you do me a favor?

216
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:36,875
There you go.

217
00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:39,666
There you go.
That wasn't that hard, was it?

218
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,333
- It was.
- It was actually easier

219
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:42,833
than I thought it was going to be.

220
00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:44,083
You... You know, you...

221
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:47,458
You're not much of a fighter,
are you, son?

222
00:08:47,541 --> 00:08:49,083
- Hmm?
- No.

223
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:50,916
[paper rustling]

224
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,666
[Marie chuckles] What is this?

225
00:08:53,708 --> 00:08:55,833
Aw! How cute is this?

226
00:08:55,916 --> 00:08:57,333
Alan, look.

227
00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:01,208
You know, I've been trying to get
that information for years,

228
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:04,291
and your father got it
in less than an hour.

229
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,250
Open it.

230
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:20,250
Marie, now... Now, once I open this,
y-y-you know there's no going back.

231
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,375
Open the damn thing!

232
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,208
[sighs]

233
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,125
Um, Marie...

234
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:31,375
my whole life I always wondered
what my birth family was like.

235
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:33,958
Where'd they come from?
Were they poor? And...

236
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:35,333
And they worked hard,

237
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:37,666
and then they started
a successful dry cleaning company,

238
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,208
[stammers] and then they got rich,

239
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,750
and they moved across town
to the East side,

240
00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,500
and then they bought
a deluxe apartment...

241
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,583
Alan.

242
00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:46,041
That's The Jeffersons.

243
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:47,500
I know, but a boy could dream.

244
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:49,875
- Just open the dag-gone thing!
- Okay! Don't yell at me.

245
00:09:49,958 --> 00:09:51,666
[Marie] God! Just avoiding it.

246
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,291
Come on.

247
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,958
Baby, this is just stuff.
I can't... I can't make nothin' of this.

248
00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:59,333
Okay, okay, all right.
Records of Transfer...

249
00:09:59,791 --> 00:10:02,875
Oh, my gosh, Alan.
It's your birth certificate.

250
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,333
Look.

251
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:08,750
- [Alan] Oh, sh... Marie.
- [Marie chuckles]

252
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:10,250
It's my birth certificate.

253
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:11,541
[stammers] This is me!

254
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,750
Yep, all five pounds
and six ounces of you.

255
00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:15,958
- Hey! That's a healthy baby!
- That's a good baby.

256
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:16,875
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

257
00:10:16,958 --> 00:10:18,250
- A little slim.
- Little slim.

258
00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:20,416
Oh. No father on record.

259
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,125
[both] Mm.

260
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:23,791
Oh! Alan, look.

261
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,750
Your birth mother's name is right here.

262
00:10:27,208 --> 00:10:29,125
Lynette Spellman.

263
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,333
Lynette?

264
00:10:32,541 --> 00:10:34,416
Wow! You know any Lynettes?

265
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,500
Uh, no.

266
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:38,333
I know a Lynette. My barber,
the one that cuts my hair?

267
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:39,583
- Uh-huh.
- She's a Lynette!

268
00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:40,500
- Shut up.
- Yeah.

269
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:43,383
She faded it a little high, but I think
she was high when she faded it.

270
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:45,583
- She did good.
- Maybe my mom owns a salon!

271
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,375
Maybe she invented the weave.

272
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:51,000
And you're wearin' a weave right now,
and that's why I was attracted to you,

273
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,375
'cause you remind me
of the weave that my mama created!

274
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,875
[gasps] Oh, my God,
maybe my mother's a millionaire!

275
00:10:55,958 --> 00:10:57,791
Well, maybe you could ask her yourself.

276
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,833
Her address is right here.

277
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:01,333
- My...
- Look at this.

278
00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:03,416
[Marie laughs]

279
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,000
- I got a mommy.
- You got a mama, baby.

280
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:11,083
- I got a mama.
- Baby.

281
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:13,416
- I got a mama.
- Baby.

282
00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:15,458
- Hey.
- [Marie laughs]

283
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:18,333
- You got a grand-mommy!
- You've got a grandma!

284
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:24,000
- But what if she doesn't wanna meet me?
- How can she not wanna meet you?

285
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,750
Now, listen, you better hurry up,
or you'll miss your chance.

286
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,976
'Cause in a couple of weeks,
you're gonna have to focus

287
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,360
on the family you have right here.

288
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,458
[sighs]

289
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:34,333
- Okay.
- Okay?

290
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,291
Thank you.

291
00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:40,958
Don't worry. I'll be back.

292
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:42,916
- Okay.
- [engine turns over]

293
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:48,125
Probably in a helicopter,
because, you know, my mama is ballin'!

294
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,250
[honks horn]

295
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:52,291
Love you! A lot!

296
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,916
Bye, baby! And other baby!

297
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,625
["Up Up & Away" plays]

298
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:59,125
♪ I feel so caught up, in a bud ♪

299
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,250
♪ I float somehow in my bedroom ♪

300
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,000
♪ Perfectly at peace ♪

301
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:05,458
♪ So I move along a bit higher ♪

302
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,250
♪ I'll be up, up, and away ♪

303
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:08,916
♪ Up, up, and away ♪

304
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:11,583
♪ 'Cause they're gonna judge me anyway ♪

305
00:12:11,666 --> 00:12:13,375
♪ So, whatever ♪

306
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,375
♪ I'll be up, up, and away ♪

307
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:16,583
♪ Up, up, and away ♪

308
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:19,166
♪ 'Cause in the end
They'll judge me anyway ♪

309
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,333
♪ So, whatever ♪

310
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:23,416
♪ I'll be up, up, and away ♪

311
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,625
♪ Up, up, and away ♪

312
00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:27,500
♪ 'Cause in the end
They'll judge me anyway ♪

313
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:29,500
♪ So, whatever ♪

314
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,041
What do I call her?

315
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:33,875
Hey...

316
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:36,125
Mom!

317
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,125
I... I forgive you, Mom.

318
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,500
Yeah, I'm not even a little bitter
that you wasn't around

319
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,958
for the last 38 years, you frickin' bitch!

320
00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:45,041
I'm sorry.

321
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:47,708
It's gonna be cool. It's gonna be good.
Mm-hmm.

322
00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:02,375
[sighs]

323
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,333
[doorbell rings]

324
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:15,500
[sighs]

325
00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:29,833
[man] Just leave the mail
on the porch!

326
00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,000
Oh, hey!

327
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,541
[man] You're not our usual mailman.

328
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,625
No, I'm... I'm not with the Postal Service.

329
00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:42,625
Sir, I am anxiously awaiting
an episode of Mork & Mindy.

330
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:45,333
So, you leave me no choice
to be somewhat rude

331
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:47,500
and say, "Please, go away!"

332
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,291
Who watches Mork & Mindy still?

333
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,958
[knocking] Sir!

334
00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:56,958
Does Lynette Spellman live here?

335
00:13:57,625 --> 00:14:00,125
No. And I'll say it in Spanish,

336
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,958
"El no."

337
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:10,333
Then, why is "L. Spellman" on the mailbox?

338
00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:13,625
Very well.

339
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,291
But she's not here.

340
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:16,875
Really? Damn it.

341
00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:18,041
What do you want?

342
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,458
[sighs]

343
00:14:20,708 --> 00:14:21,833
My name is Alan,

344
00:14:22,416 --> 00:14:24,416
and Lynette Spellman is my mother.

345
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,666
[laughing]

346
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:26,666
[snorting]

347
00:14:26,750 --> 00:14:30,916
Lynette Spellman only has one son,
and his name is Russell.

348
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,666
Right. I have proof.

349
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:35,166
[paper rustling]

350
00:14:40,041 --> 00:14:42,375
What in the quantum leap?

351
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:57,541
Give me that.

352
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,458
This can't be.

353
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:01,833
I'm her son!

354
00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,583
This... This is a mistake!

355
00:15:03,666 --> 00:15:05,041
Wait, you're her son?

356
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:08,458
I'm her son. That means we're brothers!

357
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,541
Wait. You're my brother, Russell!

358
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:14,458
No, no, no, no. No, no. Look, right there.
You see that? See that?

359
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:17,625
See that misprint? See that date there,
that's my birthday.

360
00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:19,601
- And, see...
- Yeah, but that's my birthday.

361
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:22,208
Yeah, but that would only make sense
if, in fact,

362
00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:24,208
you and I were... [chuckles]

363
00:15:26,958 --> 00:15:28,333
Twins.

364
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:33,750
We're twins.

365
00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:36,666
Russell!

366
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:39,125
We're twins!

367
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:41,291
Come here, bro!

368
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,333
This is awkward.

369
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,000
I've never had a man hug me before.

370
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:49,261
If you don't release me, I'm gonna be
forced to use my warning whistle

371
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,333
Mother gave me.

372
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:51,958
Okay, I warned you.

373
00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:53,666
- [whistles]
- All right, shh, shh! Hey!

374
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,833
- Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
- [dogs barking]

375
00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,083
Can we... Can we go inside?

376
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,541
Don't touch anything
with your measly hands.

377
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,291
Everything here is very valuable.

378
00:16:03,375 --> 00:16:05,666
These are antiques,
especially the TV Guide,

379
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,350
so it's gonna be worth billions one day.

380
00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:08,791
Well, here's some more news.

381
00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:11,208
- You're about to be an uncle.
- Phooey.

382
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:13,416
- Uncle Russell.
- That's a terrible name.

383
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:17,000
- Has a little ring to it.
- Sounds like a cheesy morning disc jockey.

384
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:18,625
This is the family home, huh?

385
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:20,708
Yeah. Jealous? [chuckles]

386
00:16:20,791 --> 00:16:22,208
I still can't believe

387
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:24,875
that I'm standing here
with my very own twin.

388
00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:25,833
[Russell] Me neither.

389
00:16:25,916 --> 00:16:27,000
I mean, look at us.

390
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:28,708
We look exactly alike.

391
00:16:28,791 --> 00:16:31,458
Yeah, we... We look almost...

392
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,375
exactly... nothing alike.

393
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:37,041
No, we look exactly, exactly alike.

394
00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:39,833
It's like I'm looking at myself
in the mirror.

395
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,041
It's uncanny!

396
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,958
Same face, same hairline.

397
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,875
Well, I'm a lot more handsome.

398
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,000
That's why I got the beauty marks
and you don't. [chuckles]

399
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,458
So, Russell, I...

400
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:53,666
take it you still live here.

401
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:56,500
[scoffs] That's a rather obvious
observation.

402
00:16:56,958 --> 00:16:59,291
Why else would I have
my very own cereal bowl

403
00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:00,666
with my name written on it?

404
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,625
- See?
- Yeah.

405
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:04,625
It's so good. I love cereal. [slurps]

406
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:07,250
Well, that's something me and you
have in common.

407
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:08,625
I like cereal, too.

408
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,708
I'm more of a Wheat Chex guy myself.

409
00:17:10,791 --> 00:17:11,708
Wheat Chex?

410
00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:12,791
Blech!

411
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,750
I'm sorry, Alan.
I like my cereals to be edible.

412
00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:19,250
Preferably with the fruit-forward
complexities

413
00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:21,291
of the Captain's Crunchberries.

414
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:22,208
Mm.

415
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,208
[slurping]

416
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:24,500
So, when do I see her?

417
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,250
- Who?
- [Alan] Mom.

418
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,916
I-I mean, Lynette.

419
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:29,416
When does she get back?

420
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,583
Uh... that's... that's rather hard to say.

421
00:17:31,666 --> 00:17:33,875
Oh, I got so much stuff to ask her.

422
00:17:33,958 --> 00:17:36,666
I mean, so many things I wanna tell her,
like I'm married,

423
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,208
she's gonna be a grandma.

424
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,291
Uh, she's dead!

425
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:40,791
You said what?

426
00:17:41,291 --> 00:17:42,333
Yeah, you know...

427
00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:43,416
[sighs]

428
00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,250
I regret to inform you...

429
00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:48,041
Lynette Spellman has passed on.

430
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:49,125
How?

431
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:50,750
Car accident.

432
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,916
I told her she should check her brakes.

433
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,041
So she got up under
that 1986 Honda Civic SE.

434
00:17:58,375 --> 00:17:59,375
It was blue.

435
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,208
Periwinkle, to be exact.

436
00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:03,208
She was just that type of gal,

437
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,250
real hands-on
and cheap as the day is long.

438
00:18:06,666 --> 00:18:08,708
Obviously, I couldn't do it for her.

439
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:11,416
Because of your size?

440
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:16,541
Because I know nothing about fancy,
expensive, foreign cars like Hondas.

441
00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:17,875
So... So, she was crushed?

442
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,875
I'm afraid so.

443
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,750
Oh, wow.

444
00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:25,000
Oh, this is just so devastating. Just...

445
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:26,791
Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on.

446
00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:28,434
- Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
- That's my seat.

447
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,250
Sorry, Alan. I've spent a lot of time

448
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:33,250
making this leather conform
to only my buttocks.

449
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:34,750
Mm.

450
00:18:34,791 --> 00:18:37,166
Can't believe I finally find her
and now it's too late.

451
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:40,083
Maybe you should just go home and mourn.

452
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,583
Now, excuse me. My television show is on.
Thank you.

453
00:18:43,666 --> 00:18:44,500
[TV plays]

454
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:45,791
Do you have any pictures?

455
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,333
[groans]

456
00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:50,541
I hate havin' a brother already!

457
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:54,375
Don't touch my cereal.

458
00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:57,750
I lived my entire life with that woman,

459
00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,458
and although buck-toothed,

460
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,166
she was a saint.

461
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:02,458
And what about Dad?

462
00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:05,125
Deserted her the instant she got pregnant.

463
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,541
But she carried on.

464
00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:08,250
Seems like an amazing woman.

465
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:09,625
Indeed.

466
00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:11,541
Sour ball?

467
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:13,375
Sure.

468
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,958
She never said anything
about why she gave me up?

469
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,125
Never mentioned you.

470
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,000
Not a word. [chews]

471
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,583
Not a peep. [chuckles]

472
00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:23,541
[slurping]

473
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:25,625
Oh, so sour.

474
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,500
[chomps] Ow! Ow!

475
00:19:29,791 --> 00:19:30,791
[Russell] Seriously?

476
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:33,541
Did you just bite into a sour ball?

477
00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:34,875
[laughs]

478
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,750
No wonder why Mother chose me.

479
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:39,541
Okay, fine. Can you just please
get me a paper towel

480
00:19:39,958 --> 00:19:41,041
for my busted tooth?

481
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:42,541
[slurps] Mm-hmm.

482
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,500
You know, Mom loves sour balls.

483
00:19:44,916 --> 00:19:48,208
She said Dad had sour balls
and that was her attraction to him.

484
00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:49,791
Hey, Alan!

485
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:50,791
Whatever you do,

486
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:52,791
don't go snoopin' through Mom's drawers.

487
00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:55,708
She's got all kind of weird massagers
and stuff in there.

488
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:16,625
[blows]

489
00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:17,708
[coughs]

490
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,125
Family medical records!

491
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:36,625
[laughs]

492
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,458
[gasps]

493
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,583
What the hell is this?

494
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,541
Again, not to push you,
but to nudge you really hard,

495
00:20:52,916 --> 00:20:54,958
Mork is about to talk to Orson and...

496
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:56,291
What's that?

497
00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,208
Did you know about this?

498
00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,041
She had six babies at the same time!

499
00:21:04,375 --> 00:21:07,583
- There was more of you?
- Russell, there's more of us!

500
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:08,541
[Alan chuckles]

501
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:11,041
Wait. So, if triplets is three, then...

502
00:21:11,833 --> 00:21:12,833
Russell...

503
00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:14,916
we're sextuplets!

504
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,166
Holy fudge!

505
00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:24,083
[siren wails in the distance]

506
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:27,041
[Marie] Aw, baby, I'm really sorry
about your birth mom.

507
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:28,375
It's okay, baby.

508
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:32,041
At least I still got Dawn, Ethan,
Jaspar, Russell, and Baby Pete.

509
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,541
And, yes, Baby Pete is his legal name.
[chuckles]

510
00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:38,000
That's more ghetto
than your Uncle Lil Stank-Stank.

511
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:38,916
[laughs]

512
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,583
Yeah, so far, I found
a place of business on Ethan,

513
00:21:41,666 --> 00:21:43,791
and nothing on Jaspar.
That man's a ghost.

514
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:44,916
What about Dawn?

515
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,916
I got a number. I called it.

516
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,875
- So, what happened?
- [Alan] Some dude picked up.

517
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,166
Gave me a weird address in Alabama.
Said I should bring cigarettes.

518
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,625
Well, be careful.
You don't know these people.

519
00:21:55,875 --> 00:21:58,666
Maybe one of them
changed their name to Idris Elba.

520
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:01,375
You know, we do have
strikingly similar bone structure.

521
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:03,125
But Idris has all of his teeth.

522
00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:04,583
Maybe I'll get a gold cap.

523
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:08,250
No, no, no, no. Alan. Please!
You can't meet your family like that.

524
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,875
Girl, that's why I got this.

525
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,291
Boom. Super glue.

526
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:15,015
- [Marie] Oh, my God, Alan.
- [clattering]

527
00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:16,666
Don't use that. Go see a dentist.

528
00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:18,750
- Baby... I'm gonna call you back.
- Alan...

529
00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:20,500
[suspenseful music plays]

530
00:22:26,958 --> 00:22:28,125
[clattering]

531
00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:34,166
[gasps]

532
00:22:34,916 --> 00:22:35,916
[door unlocks]

533
00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:38,500
[both scream]

534
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:40,541
- [panting]
- Russell!

535
00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:42,333
Oh. Hey, Alan.

536
00:22:42,416 --> 00:22:43,458
How'd you get in my room?

537
00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,875
I just told the hotel manager
we were brothers. [chuckles]

538
00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:47,838
Of course he believed me,
'cause we're twinsies.

539
00:22:47,875 --> 00:22:48,875
[scoffs]

540
00:22:49,375 --> 00:22:50,833
What are you even doing here?

541
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:53,708
Well, good news.

542
00:22:53,791 --> 00:22:57,125
I decided to join you on this excursion
to find our siblings. [chuckles]

543
00:22:57,458 --> 00:22:59,208
Oh! Uh...

544
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:02,833
Well, I wasn't really expectin'
any company. Sorry.

545
00:23:02,916 --> 00:23:05,125
[Russell] Alan, my mother just died.

546
00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:08,000
This trip may be the only thing
to help me recover

547
00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:10,333
from the greatest tragedy
of my young life.

548
00:23:10,416 --> 00:23:12,041
[cries] Please?

549
00:23:12,541 --> 00:23:13,541
I brought cereal.

550
00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:16,125
Fine.

551
00:23:16,375 --> 00:23:17,250
Let's do it.

552
00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:18,250
Really?

553
00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,583
Tomorrow, we head out on a road trip.

554
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:22,583
Okay-dokay.

555
00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:25,500
Give us some time to really,
you know, bro down.

556
00:23:25,583 --> 00:23:26,583
“Bro down”?

557
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:29,125
Did you just try
to turn a noun into a verb?

558
00:23:29,958 --> 00:23:31,833
Yeah, I... I guess.

559
00:23:31,916 --> 00:23:34,083
That's grammatically incorrect.

560
00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:36,125
[bed rattles]

561
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:40,166
Goodnight, Alan. Wanna cuddle?

562
00:23:40,916 --> 00:23:43,833
[screams] Hey, man, you're naked!
The hell?

563
00:23:43,916 --> 00:23:45,375
Of course. I sleep in the nude.

564
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:47,500
I'm very comfortable with my body.

565
00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:49,375
The buck is beautiful.

566
00:23:49,916 --> 00:23:52,333
Besides, it really helps
with night sweats. [chuckles]

567
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:53,976
You don't want me to have night sweats.

568
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,708
I'll have this mattress floatin' around
like an old raft after a hurricane.

569
00:23:57,916 --> 00:23:59,500
Usually there's a dog on top.

570
00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,166
It's all wet and dirty.

571
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,041
Boy, if you don't put
some damn clothes on...

572
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:06,583
Fine. Obviously, somebody's insecure
about their manhood.

573
00:24:06,666 --> 00:24:08,916
You're lucky I brought my PJs, Alan.
[scoffs]

574
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,125
Oh, wow!

575
00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:16,375
Russell, did you know Alabama
has nearly 600 miles of coastline?

576
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:18,958
I bet you Dawn has a big house
on the beach.

577
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,250
This may not be obvious, Alan, but...

578
00:24:21,666 --> 00:24:23,208
this is my first sleepover.

579
00:24:23,291 --> 00:24:24,416
No!

580
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:25,375
Seriously.

581
00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:28,750
Come on. I guess we could share the bed,
now that you got some drawers on.

582
00:24:28,833 --> 00:24:29,916
- Come on.
- Ooh-wee!

583
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,958
Yeah, I got my Underoos. Come on!

584
00:24:32,375 --> 00:24:34,226
- Let's go, Alan!
- Hey! Hey, what are you doing?

585
00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:36,708
We never got to do this as kids. Come on!

586
00:24:36,791 --> 00:24:38,541
Fine, but just for a little while.

587
00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:39,875
Then we gotta go to bed.

588
00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:43,333
Come on! I betcha I jump higher than you!
I bet I can jump higher than you, Alan!

589
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:44,708
[laughs]

590
00:24:44,791 --> 00:24:47,708
- Look at this. I'm runnin' in the air. Mm.
- Hey!

591
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:49,125
This is kind of fun!

592
00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:50,750
- I told...
- Oh!

593
00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:52,958
Huh? Uh-oh.

594
00:24:53,041 --> 00:24:54,708
[chuckles] Thank God, Mom's dead.

595
00:24:54,791 --> 00:24:56,666
We surely would've got a spanking
for that one.

596
00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,708
- Now, I know your big behind...
- [grunts]

597
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:00,208
Pillow fight!

598
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,291
- Oh! Oh, you want a pillow fight? Okay!
- [grunts]

599
00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:03,625
- [grunts]
- All right! Yeah!

600
00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:04,958
- Okay.
- That was a low blow!

601
00:25:05,041 --> 00:25:06,791
- You want a pillow fight?
- [mocking laugh]

602
00:25:06,875 --> 00:25:08,958
[grunts] Okay, that was good.

603
00:25:09,291 --> 00:25:10,875
Oh! You got some power on you,

604
00:25:10,958 --> 00:25:12,125
- huh, big boy?
- [chuckles]

605
00:25:12,541 --> 00:25:14,375
- [grunts] Take that!
- [grunts]

606
00:25:14,458 --> 00:25:15,625
- Take that!
- [grunts]

607
00:25:15,708 --> 00:25:17,748
- You're a nice, big target.
- Show me what you got!

608
00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:18,666
[grunts]

609
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:19,583
[laughs]

610
00:25:19,666 --> 00:25:22,166
Now, that's how you pillow fight!

611
00:25:25,541 --> 00:25:28,208
Now, that wasn't really nice of you, Alan.

612
00:25:28,291 --> 00:25:31,875
You know, maybe we shouldn't pillow fight.
It's still dangerous. It's fightin'!

613
00:25:31,958 --> 00:25:32,958
[grunts]

614
00:25:33,208 --> 00:25:34,208
[grunts]

615
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:36,750
[chuckles]

616
00:25:36,833 --> 00:25:37,875
[groans]

617
00:25:37,958 --> 00:25:40,750
You know what?
Sleepovers are a lot of fun. [chuckles]

618
00:25:40,833 --> 00:25:42,958
I can't wait to see what happens
tomorrow night.

619
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,916
Yeah. Tomorrow.

620
00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:46,208
[groans]

621
00:25:46,750 --> 00:25:48,250
[upbeat music plays]

622
00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:51,375
- [Alan] So long, Branford.
- [Russell] Arrivederci, Branford.

623
00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:53,750
[sniffs] And they thought I'd never leave.

624
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,833
Proved them wrong. [chuckles]

625
00:25:56,250 --> 00:25:58,375
- Who?
- Oh, the naysayers.

626
00:25:58,666 --> 00:26:01,416
- Oh.
- My teachers, my doctor,

627
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:03,416
the butcher, the baker,

628
00:26:03,500 --> 00:26:05,375
the sixth grade crossing guard,

629
00:26:05,458 --> 00:26:07,041
the sheriff, the deputy,

630
00:26:07,125 --> 00:26:08,375
Mom's OB-GYN.

631
00:26:08,458 --> 00:26:11,250
- Oh, goddamn.
- [Russell] That's pretty much everybody.

632
00:26:11,916 --> 00:26:13,000
So...

633
00:26:13,666 --> 00:26:15,546
- [munching]
- Tell me something about yourself.

634
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,541
For what possible purpose?

635
00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:20,166
What are you, the IRS? [laughs]

636
00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:21,250
How about this?

637
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,291
What's your earliest memory of Mom?

638
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:25,333
She forced me to eat
an avocado, the hussy.

639
00:26:25,416 --> 00:26:27,750
- Okay.
- It was disgusting, as you might imagine.

640
00:26:27,833 --> 00:26:30,208
- [laughs]
- Tastes like soft-boiled Silly Putty.

641
00:26:30,291 --> 00:26:32,166
That's something we have in common.

642
00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,291
I hate avocados, too.

643
00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:35,500
Great.

644
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:36,583
You like TV shows?

645
00:26:36,666 --> 00:26:40,041
How about we sing
our favorite TV show theme song?

646
00:26:40,458 --> 00:26:42,375
Ooh, how about we don't?

647
00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:46,750
♪ Now the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum ♪

648
00:26:46,833 --> 00:26:48,583
♪ What might be right for you ♪

649
00:26:48,666 --> 00:26:50,583
♪ May not be right for some ♪

650
00:26:50,666 --> 00:26:52,333
♪ A man is born ♪

651
00:26:52,416 --> 00:26:54,333
♪ He's a man of means ♪

652
00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:56,208
♪ Then along comes two ♪

653
00:26:56,291 --> 00:26:58,000
♪ They got nothing but jeans ♪

654
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:58,916
♪ They got ♪

655
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,000
♪ Diff'rent Strokes ♪

656
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:01,083
♪ It takes ♪

657
00:27:01,166 --> 00:27:02,291
♪ Diff'rent Strokes ♪

658
00:27:02,375 --> 00:27:03,250
♪ It takes ♪

659
00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:06,333
♪ Diff'rent Strokes to move the world ♪

660
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:07,625
♪ Mmm ♪

661
00:27:07,708 --> 00:27:08,541
[Russell chuckles]

662
00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:10,208
I was a big fan of Diff'rent Strokes.

663
00:27:10,291 --> 00:27:11,541
Oh, I got one, I got one.

664
00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:13,791
[vocalizing]

665
00:27:17,708 --> 00:27:19,541
What? Come on,
that's the M♪A♪S♪H♪ theme song!

666
00:27:19,833 --> 00:27:20,916
Makes me sleepy.

667
00:27:21,291 --> 00:27:24,458
Al right. I just thought it'd be good
to play some theme songs.

668
00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:26,625
Yeah, I got some good commercial jingles...

669
00:27:26,708 --> 00:27:28,125
- [wind blowing]
- [snoring]

670
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:32,517
♪ Heard they tryin' to steal the wave
Cut it out, cut it out ♪

671
00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:34,750
♪ Spicy mamis on the way
Bust it down, bust it down ♪

672
00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:37,375
♪ Saw my watch
She love the way I flood it out, ay ♪

673
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:38,375
♪ Talk to me nice ♪

674
00:27:38,458 --> 00:27:40,291
♪ Show you what these Bentley 'bout
Whoa ♪

675
00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:41,208
♪ Pipe down ♪

676
00:27:41,291 --> 00:27:42,208
[turns off music]

677
00:27:42,291 --> 00:27:43,291
Russell.

678
00:27:43,666 --> 00:27:45,000
- Russell! Hey.
- Hmm?

679
00:27:45,750 --> 00:27:47,625
I need you to drive. I'm gettin' tired.

680
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,416
Yeah, I don't think so.

681
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,083
- What? Why not?
- [Russell] 'Cause...

682
00:27:51,166 --> 00:27:54,875
I have no interest in assuming legal
responsibility for someone else's vehicle.

683
00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:55,791
Seriously?

684
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,500
Also, I don't know how to drive.

685
00:27:57,583 --> 00:28:00,291
[laughing] You don't know how to drive?
Get outta here!

686
00:28:00,375 --> 00:28:02,708
Truth be told,
I've always wanted to learn,

687
00:28:02,791 --> 00:28:06,166
so I could one day
speed stylish down the road,

688
00:28:06,250 --> 00:28:09,791
in a gold '76 Pontiac Firebird Esprit.

689
00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:13,166
The same vehicle
owned by James Scott...

690
00:28:13,250 --> 00:28:14,166
Rockford!

691
00:28:14,250 --> 00:28:16,333
In The Rockford Files!
Man, that was my show!

692
00:28:16,416 --> 00:28:18,166
Oh, I love The Rockford Files!

693
00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:19,976
- Yo, that car was sick.
- [Russell] The best.

694
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,166
You know, I own a copy of the original
operator's manual for the car.

695
00:28:23,250 --> 00:28:24,370
- [Alan] Really?
- [chuckles]

696
00:28:24,416 --> 00:28:26,458
I've read it a dozen times or something.

697
00:28:26,541 --> 00:28:27,583
[Alan inhales deeply]

698
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:28,708
All right.

699
00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:29,791
Well, Russell...

700
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,416
I'mma pull over right here, 'cause, uh...

701
00:28:32,833 --> 00:28:33,833
I'm tired.

702
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:36,875
Gonna get some Z's.

703
00:28:37,458 --> 00:28:40,708
[Russell] Hmm, strange.
I don't see no hotel around here, Alan.

704
00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:42,916
[Alan] Because there isn't one, Russell.

705
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,041
[owl hoots]
Tomorrow...

706
00:28:44,125 --> 00:28:46,250
I'm gonna give you
your first driving lesson.

707
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:47,416
How's that, huh?

708
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:48,500
[Russell] Hmm...

709
00:28:49,666 --> 00:28:51,125
You positive this is safe?

710
00:28:51,833 --> 00:28:53,166
Yeah, it's safe.

711
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:56,833
Listen, we're family.
You got my back and I got yours, right?

712
00:28:56,916 --> 00:28:58,041
I don't know, Alan.

713
00:28:58,458 --> 00:29:00,958
[scoffs] You're not exactly
the family I wanted.

714
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:03,000
Yeah, well, I'm all the family you got.

715
00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:05,541
You sound like the ending
of a cheesy sitcom.

716
00:29:05,625 --> 00:29:07,833
Oh, my God. Do you ever stop talking?

717
00:29:07,916 --> 00:29:09,541
- Sometimes.
- Go to bed.

718
00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:12,708
- Um, if I had some warm milk or something.
- Start countin' cereal boxes.

719
00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:13,791
That's a good idea.

720
00:29:14,958 --> 00:29:17,208
- [Alan exhales]
- One Lucky Charm.

721
00:29:17,875 --> 00:29:19,958
- [owl hoots]
- Mmm. Two Cap'n Crunch...

722
00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:21,916
Three Froot Loops.

723
00:29:22,791 --> 00:29:24,000
[birds chirping]

724
00:29:24,583 --> 00:29:25,916
[groans]

725
00:29:27,541 --> 00:29:29,041
Hey, Russell, what time is it?

726
00:29:30,916 --> 00:29:31,916
Russell?

727
00:29:33,625 --> 00:29:34,625
What the hell?

728
00:29:48,083 --> 00:29:49,541
Russell!

729
00:29:54,666 --> 00:29:55,666
[scoffs]

730
00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:56,833
[grunting]

731
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,000
Russell!

732
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:02,583
What are you doing?

733
00:30:03,208 --> 00:30:04,833
[panting]

734
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,125
Why are you runnin' like Rerun
from What's Happening?

735
00:30:10,833 --> 00:30:13,041
- We should go now.
- [Alan] Where are we goin'?

736
00:30:13,541 --> 00:30:14,916
What are you runnin' from?

737
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,333
I think I'm ready
for that driver's lesson now.

738
00:30:21,958 --> 00:30:23,541
Oh, no!

739
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:26,541
My brand new Stan Smiths!

740
00:30:27,250 --> 00:30:29,416
You should get in the car.

741
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,500
You said what?

742
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:31,750
Sounds like...

743
00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:33,708
moo!

744
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,166
What? This is some bull...

745
00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:38,041
[bellows]

746
00:30:39,291 --> 00:30:40,458
...shit.

747
00:30:41,583 --> 00:30:42,958
[bellows]

748
00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:44,041
Oh.

749
00:30:44,583 --> 00:30:46,541
- Oh.
- [bellows]

750
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:47,458
[shudders]

751
00:30:47,541 --> 00:30:48,375
[snorts]

752
00:30:48,458 --> 00:30:49,500
[bellows]

753
00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:52,750
How now, brown cow! Whoa!

754
00:30:52,833 --> 00:30:54,125
- [bull bellows]
- [screams]

755
00:30:55,166 --> 00:30:56,791
Open the door! Open the door!

756
00:30:57,041 --> 00:30:58,750
- Russell! Open the door!
- [bellows]

757
00:30:59,208 --> 00:31:01,291
Pop the handle! Pop the handle!

758
00:31:01,666 --> 00:31:02,666
[grunting]

759
00:31:02,750 --> 00:31:03,833
[screams] Open!

760
00:31:04,291 --> 00:31:06,625
I am bewildered
by this vehicle's technology.

761
00:31:06,708 --> 00:31:08,041
[Alan] Open the door, Russell!

762
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,125
[bellows]

763
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,833
- Oh!
- [grunts]

764
00:31:12,916 --> 00:31:13,916
Toro!

765
00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:17,708
- [bellows]
- Oh! [screams]

766
00:31:17,791 --> 00:31:19,000
- Stop it!
- [honks horn]

767
00:31:19,083 --> 00:31:19,916
Stop it!

768
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:20,916
[honking]

769
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,208
[bellows]

770
00:31:22,291 --> 00:31:23,625
You need to chill out.

771
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:25,250
Oh!

772
00:31:25,458 --> 00:31:26,916
[bellowing]

773
00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:29,500
Bro, if you don't pop the goddamn lock...

774
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,291
I don't see a key!

775
00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:32,833
I got the key! I got the key!

776
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:34,625
[car unlocks]

777
00:31:34,708 --> 00:31:36,666
Ah! I think your car is possessed!

778
00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:37,750
- [bellows]
- [screams]

779
00:31:38,083 --> 00:31:39,750
- [bellows]
- [screams]

780
00:31:40,750 --> 00:31:41,750
Oh!

781
00:31:42,208 --> 00:31:43,583
Whoa! Oh!

782
00:31:43,666 --> 00:31:44,666
What do we do now?

783
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:45,583
Press the brake!

784
00:31:45,666 --> 00:31:46,708
Okay, brake. Pedal.

785
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:48,250
- Pedal, pedal...
- [screams]

786
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:49,333
Okay, now what?

787
00:31:49,375 --> 00:31:50,250
Put it in drive!

788
00:31:50,333 --> 00:31:51,625
Put it in drive. Okay.

789
00:31:51,708 --> 00:31:54,708
- Press the gas. Lightly.
- Okay. Lightly.

790
00:31:54,791 --> 00:31:57,125
- [engine revs]
- [screams]

791
00:32:00,416 --> 00:32:01,416
[bellows]

792
00:32:01,791 --> 00:32:03,500
What did you do to piss off a bull?

793
00:32:03,583 --> 00:32:07,125
I was just trying to get some milk
for my cereal and I pulled its teat!

794
00:32:07,708 --> 00:32:09,666
- [bellows]
- [both scream]

795
00:32:11,583 --> 00:32:12,833
Watch, watch!

796
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:14,750
[both clamoring]

797
00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:16,875
[both scream]

798
00:32:23,166 --> 00:32:24,166
["Say You, Say Me" plays]

799
00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:28,000
♪ Say you, say me ♪

800
00:32:29,750 --> 00:32:31,875
♪ Say it for always ♪

801
00:32:33,916 --> 00:32:36,541
♪ That's the way it should be ♪

802
00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:43,291
- [crunching]
- ♪ Say you, say me ♪

803
00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:47,125
- [crunching]
- ♪ Say it together ♪

804
00:32:50,458 --> 00:32:51,791
[both scream]

805
00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:54,666
Oh!

806
00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:55,666
Wow.

807
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:56,750
[Russell pants]

808
00:32:57,833 --> 00:32:59,713
So, it was a good lesson.
You wanna do it again?

809
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,500
[upbeat music plays]

810
00:33:01,583 --> 00:33:03,625
[car squeaking and rattling]

811
00:33:13,458 --> 00:33:16,375
I think this is a different big house
than the one you imagined.

812
00:33:16,458 --> 00:33:18,833
Are you certain
this is the correct address?

813
00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:22,041
[buzzer sounds]

814
00:33:22,125 --> 00:33:23,291
[gate closes]

815
00:33:23,375 --> 00:33:24,833
[people chattering]

816
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,045
[woman over police radio]
Three-thirteen, I copy.

817
00:33:32,083 --> 00:33:33,125
[gate closes]

818
00:33:35,541 --> 00:33:36,916
[buzzer sounds]

819
00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:41,250
- [woman] Turn around.
- [Dawn] You stealin' on me for no reason.

820
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:43,541
[Dawn] You gonna stop
stealin' on me like this.

821
00:33:43,625 --> 00:33:45,375
Don't put your frickin' hands...

822
00:33:45,458 --> 00:33:48,916
Don't put your hands on me, Deidra.
Don't put your hands on me.

823
00:33:49,791 --> 00:33:51,875
You gonna stop
with this light-skinned privilege.

824
00:33:51,958 --> 00:33:55,375
Just 'cause you got a badge and gun
don't make you no better than me.

825
00:33:55,750 --> 00:33:58,500
Ooh, that's your mama? You better
put some money on my books.

826
00:33:58,583 --> 00:33:59,916
I'mma whoop your daughter's ass.

827
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,517
- [woman] Dawn.
- Call that black bitch!

828
00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:03,416
You gon' get your ass kicked.

829
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,541
Dawn, let these people enjoy their family.

830
00:34:05,625 --> 00:34:07,375
So, anyway...

831
00:34:08,625 --> 00:34:11,416
This better be good,
'cause you cuttin' into my yard time.

832
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:14,875
The guard over there say you my brother.
Is that for real, for real?

833
00:34:16,583 --> 00:34:17,458
Um...

834
00:34:17,541 --> 00:34:21,000
Well, yeah. I mean...
I got the birth certificate to prove it.

835
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:22,500
[Dawn] Hmm.

836
00:34:24,250 --> 00:34:25,250
I'm Alan.

837
00:34:25,583 --> 00:34:27,083
[scoffs] No.

838
00:34:27,625 --> 00:34:28,625
I don't know you.

839
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,541
Okay. Nice... Nice to meet you.

840
00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:32,458
[stammers]
That's your other brother, Russell.

841
00:34:33,125 --> 00:34:35,583
- Hi.
- Oh, hell to the no.

842
00:34:35,916 --> 00:34:36,916
Mm-mm.

843
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:40,291
He must've came from the defected
testicles. That's not my brother.

844
00:34:40,625 --> 00:34:41,625
Now, you and I,

845
00:34:41,666 --> 00:34:42,833
we do look alike.

846
00:34:42,916 --> 00:34:44,625
Like, I see the resemblance.

847
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:46,208
Like, this is uncanny.

848
00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:48,750
I... I don't...
I don't see the resemblance at all.

849
00:34:49,125 --> 00:34:51,166
This is like lookin' in the mirror.

850
00:34:51,666 --> 00:34:53,166
But more like a funhouse mirror,

851
00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:55,208
'cause, you know,
I'm voluptuous and beautiful...

852
00:34:55,291 --> 00:34:57,166
[inhales] and you scrawny.

853
00:34:57,250 --> 00:34:58,250
But you buff.

854
00:34:58,333 --> 00:34:59,708
So, you like a crackhead

855
00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:03,083
that put down the crack pipe
and picked up a weight.

856
00:35:03,791 --> 00:35:04,958
Oh, okay.

857
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,875
[coin rattles]

858
00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:09,416
Mm, mm.

859
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:11,583
[vending machine running]

860
00:35:11,666 --> 00:35:12,708
Come to Daddy.

861
00:35:17,291 --> 00:35:18,541
Oh, come on.

862
00:35:18,833 --> 00:35:19,833
[banging]

863
00:35:20,166 --> 00:35:21,333
Where're my smokes?

864
00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:25,000
- I didn't... I didn't bring any smo...
- Oh, hell, no!

865
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:26,833
I know you did not

866
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:30,541
show up to a prison
without no damn smokes!

867
00:35:30,625 --> 00:35:32,833
Oh, that's like goin'
to the Boom Boom Room

868
00:35:32,916 --> 00:35:34,291
and not bringin' singles!

869
00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:37,375
Ain't nobody gonna rub
on your little cling-clong for free.

870
00:35:40,083 --> 00:35:41,083
My dude.

871
00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:42,000
[Alan] Russell!

872
00:35:42,083 --> 00:35:44,683
The guards did a full pat-down.
How the hell you get that in here?

873
00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:48,291
Well, in the World War II prison comedy
Hogan's Heroes,

874
00:35:48,375 --> 00:35:49,583
Colonel Hogan once duped

875
00:35:49,666 --> 00:35:51,583
the buffoonish Sergeant Schultz

876
00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:54,625
by hiding a monkey wrench
way deep in his anus...

877
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:55,875
Y-You know what?

878
00:35:55,958 --> 00:35:58,541
- Way up there by undigested food.
- [groans]

879
00:35:58,625 --> 00:36:00,333
I-I get the point Thank you.

880
00:36:00,416 --> 00:36:01,958
Be quiet! Damn!

881
00:36:02,041 --> 00:36:03,721
Ooh, you lucky you didn't grow up with me.

882
00:36:03,750 --> 00:36:05,934
- I swear I would have beat your ass.
- [blows raspberry]

883
00:36:05,958 --> 00:36:08,375
You smell that?
That's a high wipe. He stink.

884
00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,666
So, uh... Dawn.

885
00:36:10,916 --> 00:36:13,333
Boom Boom Room?
So... so, you're a stripper?

886
00:36:13,416 --> 00:36:14,333
What the hell?

887
00:36:14,416 --> 00:36:15,291
- [gasps]
- A stripper

888
00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:16,916
and exotic dancer are different.

889
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,916
- So get your life right, boo.
- My bad.

890
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,625
An exotic dancer incorporate years
of hard dance trainin'

891
00:36:23,833 --> 00:36:25,416
into her whole routine.

892
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:26,916
- Yeah.
- She take all her years

893
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,791
of what she learned
on the horizontal pole,

894
00:36:29,958 --> 00:36:32,541
and she just bring it
to the vertical pole

895
00:36:32,625 --> 00:36:36,208
and add a little bit of this to it,
and add a little bit of this.

896
00:36:36,291 --> 00:36:39,291
- Please, don't... don't do that.
- You see this? Here, here, here.

897
00:36:39,375 --> 00:36:41,250
Shift, shift, shift. Pla, pla.

898
00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:43,125
Plié, relevé, ass on face.

899
00:36:43,208 --> 00:36:45,000
Plié, relevé, ass on face.

900
00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,875
[Alan and Dawn] Plié, relevé, ass on face.

901
00:36:46,958 --> 00:36:48,458
Sashay! Sashay!

902
00:36:48,666 --> 00:36:49,583
Ass on face.

903
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:50,666
- Oh!
- [Dawn] See?

904
00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:52,041
That's how it get down.

905
00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:55,791
So, you go get your education right,
boo-boo.

906
00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:57,250
Uh, okay.

907
00:37:02,958 --> 00:37:05,000
[effort grunts]

908
00:37:05,791 --> 00:37:07,583
Uh... here's some good news.

909
00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:09,081
You're gonna be an auntie.

910
00:37:09,458 --> 00:37:10,291
[gasps]

911
00:37:10,375 --> 00:37:13,458
Yes! My wife is pregnant,
and she's gonna be giving birth

912
00:37:13,541 --> 00:37:15,375
- in a couple weeks.
- Are you serious?

913
00:37:16,125 --> 00:37:17,583
That just warms my heart.

914
00:37:17,666 --> 00:37:19,000
[sniffles] Is it yours?

915
00:37:19,458 --> 00:37:21,708
- What? Yeah. Yeah, it's mine!
- [Dawn] Hmm.

916
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,666
Sound a little suspect to me.

917
00:37:23,750 --> 00:37:24,875
These hoes be out here.

918
00:37:24,958 --> 00:37:25,958
Okurr?

919
00:37:27,125 --> 00:37:28,500
[breathes heavily]

920
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,083
[screams]

921
00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:31,208
[effort grunt]

922
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:32,791
[panting] [grunts]

923
00:37:33,041 --> 00:37:34,958
[gasping]

924
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:40,791
[grunts]

925
00:37:41,166 --> 00:37:43,958
You know, this just make me think
about my babies, you know.

926
00:37:44,041 --> 00:37:45,708
Oh, really? You... You have children?

927
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:46,833
Mm-hmm.

928
00:37:46,916 --> 00:37:49,642
And I think about them. There ain't
nothin' I wouldn't do for my kids.

929
00:37:49,666 --> 00:37:50,708
I would commit murder!

930
00:37:51,333 --> 00:37:54,708
Violent murder!
I'd shiv somebody so hard!

931
00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:57,083
- So sweet of you.
- Murder!

932
00:37:57,166 --> 00:37:59,916
You know, nothin' says "I love you"
like a...

933
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,750
little old-fashioned murder, right?

934
00:38:01,833 --> 00:38:03,500
And you know what? You family.

935
00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:05,958
So I would do the same for you.

936
00:38:06,041 --> 00:38:08,666
[stutters] And I feel the same way
about you.

937
00:38:08,750 --> 00:38:10,125
Minus the murder.

938
00:38:11,208 --> 00:38:13,916
[effort grunts]

939
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:15,416
[snoring]

940
00:38:21,333 --> 00:38:24,125
You know, there is somethin'
that maybe you can...

941
00:38:24,416 --> 00:38:26,625
- You know what? No.
- Dawn, stop.

942
00:38:26,916 --> 00:38:27,916
You sure?

943
00:38:28,166 --> 00:38:29,208
- [banging]
- [grunts]

944
00:38:30,291 --> 00:38:31,291
[spitting]

945
00:38:36,416 --> 00:38:38,000
[effort grunts]

946
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:39,083
Um...

947
00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:43,166
I just need a little help
with, like, a little bit of bail money.

948
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,000
Oh.

949
00:38:45,125 --> 00:38:46,125
Well, how...

950
00:38:46,208 --> 00:38:48,250
[stammering] How much help do you need?

951
00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,375
Just crumbs.

952
00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:50,458
Come here.

953
00:38:51,791 --> 00:38:53,416
[whispers] Ten thousand dollars.

954
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:54,500
[gasps]

955
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,041
Oh, goddamn!

956
00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:57,811
Oh, you gonna help me?
Oh, my goodness!

957
00:38:57,875 --> 00:38:58,995
- You so sweet!
- Contraband!

958
00:38:59,416 --> 00:39:02,791
- Contraband? He got contraband!
- What? No, wait! I ain't got...

959
00:39:02,875 --> 00:39:03,708
Hold up!

960
00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:04,958
[Dawn] He's got contraband!

961
00:39:05,041 --> 00:39:06,500
[all shouting indistinctly]

962
00:39:06,583 --> 00:39:07,458
[alarm buzzing]

963
00:39:07,541 --> 00:39:08,666
Hold up, hold up.

964
00:39:14,125 --> 00:39:15,208
Get off me, yo!

965
00:39:15,750 --> 00:39:18,083
Shame about that contraband, huh?
[whistling]

966
00:39:18,166 --> 00:39:19,333
[Dawn] That wasn't me!

967
00:39:19,416 --> 00:39:20,458
Ten grand?!

968
00:39:20,541 --> 00:39:22,791
Alan, are you nuts?
You don't even know her!

969
00:39:23,291 --> 00:39:25,583
She's my sister, you know? She's family.

970
00:39:25,666 --> 00:39:28,791
[scoffs] Who was in jail for assault!

971
00:39:28,875 --> 00:39:29,958
Allegedly.

972
00:39:30,291 --> 00:39:32,750
And Dawn says it was a mishappenstance.

973
00:39:32,833 --> 00:39:34,541
I... I don't think that's a word.

974
00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:36,416
It was just an aggressive lap dance.

975
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,500
Fine.

976
00:39:37,791 --> 00:39:38,666
Um...

977
00:39:38,750 --> 00:39:41,250
Before I hit the road,
did you find out anything on Jaspar?

978
00:39:41,333 --> 00:39:43,500
Oh! You know what? I actually did.

979
00:39:43,583 --> 00:39:44,583
Um...

980
00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:46,125
Let me see. Um...

981
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,125
He went to Oxford,

982
00:39:48,208 --> 00:39:49,291
then MIT,

983
00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:50,791
and then he went dark.

984
00:39:50,875 --> 00:39:53,750
I left a couple messages
for a law school friend at the Pentagon.

985
00:39:53,833 --> 00:39:55,500
I'll try the State Department next.

986
00:39:55,791 --> 00:39:58,041
Girl, you doin' a whole lot better
than I did.

987
00:39:58,166 --> 00:39:59,791
I got nothin' on Baby Pete,

988
00:40:00,041 --> 00:40:01,958
and still no response from Ethan.

989
00:40:02,041 --> 00:40:03,333
I gave him all my info.

990
00:40:03,416 --> 00:40:04,750
Nothin'. Just crickets.

991
00:40:05,125 --> 00:40:08,000
[sighs] You know, this is harder
than I thought it was gonna be.

992
00:40:08,083 --> 00:40:09,083
[sighs]

993
00:40:09,291 --> 00:40:10,291
Alan...

994
00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:13,208
I know you're trying
to find your family, but...

995
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,666
I thought you'd be home by now.

996
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,833
I mean, what if the baby comes early?

997
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,208
[Alan] I'll be there, okay?

998
00:40:19,291 --> 00:40:21,708
Nothing will stop me
from being there. Nothing.

999
00:40:21,791 --> 00:40:24,666
But just a reminder,
the breastfeeding class is tomorrow,

1000
00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:26,541
and it's the last one
before the baby comes.

1001
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:30,125
Then, I'll just drop Dawn off,
and... I'll head home.

1002
00:40:30,541 --> 00:40:31,375
Okay?

1003
00:40:31,458 --> 00:40:33,083
- [buzzer sounds]
- It's been real.

1004
00:40:33,541 --> 00:40:36,708
I am free!

1005
00:40:37,250 --> 00:40:38,916
Bye, bitches!

1006
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,708
Oh, I am so glad I got bailed out.

1007
00:40:41,791 --> 00:40:43,541
I was about El Chapo this bitch.

1008
00:40:44,041 --> 00:40:47,333
- Oh, my God! It feels so good...
- What in the Real Housewives of Atlanta

1009
00:40:47,416 --> 00:40:48,416
is this?

1010
00:40:48,708 --> 00:40:49,708
Alan!

1011
00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,666
Thank you, brother!

1012
00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:55,041
- [screams]
- Wait, wait. Dawn, wait.

1013
00:40:55,125 --> 00:40:55,958
Hol... Dawn!

1014
00:40:56,041 --> 00:40:57,083
[screams]

1015
00:40:57,625 --> 00:40:58,541
[grunts]

1016
00:40:58,625 --> 00:41:00,375
[coughing]

1017
00:41:19,541 --> 00:41:20,541
[chuckles]

1018
00:41:20,583 --> 00:41:21,583
[sucks teeth]

1019
00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:25,666
Oh, goddamn! Damn!

1020
00:41:25,958 --> 00:41:26,958
Ow!

1021
00:41:35,208 --> 00:41:36,666
Oh, look at all the money.

1022
00:41:36,750 --> 00:41:39,125
That's... [sniffs] five dollars.
You chump ass.

1023
00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:41,750
Now here... I've got your address!

1024
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:42,666
Alan!

1025
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:43,750
Whoa!

1026
00:41:43,791 --> 00:41:44,708
Close the goddamn...

1027
00:41:44,791 --> 00:41:46,666
- Close the... Close the door!
- All right.

1028
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:48,805
- Close the door!
- All right. It's closed!

1029
00:41:48,875 --> 00:41:50,715
I thought you weren't comin' in
until tomorrow.

1030
00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:52,110
Yeah, well, I'm here now, ain't I?

1031
00:41:52,166 --> 00:41:55,326
What's goin' on with that jacket, man?
I stopped counting the buttons after six.

1032
00:41:55,375 --> 00:41:56,375
- Seven.
- Okay.

1033
00:41:56,458 --> 00:41:58,916
It's that Steve Harvey Season Seven.
You like it?

1034
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,125
Yeah, that Family Feud shit.

1035
00:42:01,208 --> 00:42:03,408
Yeah, that's for retired
basketball players and deacons.

1036
00:42:03,458 --> 00:42:05,416
Mm-hmm. And the hair extension...

1037
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,500
Yeah. And look here, it's called a "woop".

1038
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:09,250
- A "woop"?
- Yeah.

1039
00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:11,166
A dip. A perm. You know what I'm sayin'?

1040
00:42:11,250 --> 00:42:14,083
I like it. I like the whole new thing,
man. It's a whole new look.

1041
00:42:14,166 --> 00:42:16,250
You look like Carmelo Anthony
fucked Rick James.

1042
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,750
Hey, not everybody can wear lime green,
you know?

1043
00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:19,953
- Don't be jealous.
- Listen.

1044
00:42:20,166 --> 00:42:22,958
I'm glad you're here,
because I am havin' a hard time

1045
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:25,250
crackin' the Mother's Day pitch,
and I'm desperate.

1046
00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:26,453
- Yeah, Mother's Day?
- Yeah.

1047
00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:29,625
Yeah, I got one for you. I'll tell you.
All right, here it goes. All right.

1048
00:42:30,125 --> 00:42:34,083
"Most kids get hugs and kisses

1049
00:42:34,375 --> 00:42:37,750
from their mama, and those memories last.

1050
00:42:38,833 --> 00:42:41,333
But I don't have those memories, Mama,

1051
00:42:41,791 --> 00:42:45,000
'cause you left me in the trash.

1052
00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:47,583
Happy Mother's Day, Mom,

1053
00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:49,333
dot, dot, dot...

1054
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,041
bitch."

1055
00:42:52,833 --> 00:42:55,291
I mean, I like the rhyming scheme,
but I just...

1056
00:42:55,375 --> 00:42:57,392
- I don't know, there's something...
- You know what?

1057
00:42:57,416 --> 00:42:59,708
You talkin' a lot, you talkin' a lot.

1058
00:42:59,791 --> 00:43:01,208
- Let's cut to the bullshit.
- Okay.

1059
00:43:01,291 --> 00:43:02,809
- Where the money at, huh?
- What money?

1060
00:43:02,833 --> 00:43:05,708
Don't hold out on me.
I'll... I'll slap your face.

1061
00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:09,375
You... I'll slap your white face
and I'll leave my handprint so big,

1062
00:43:09,458 --> 00:43:10,916
you'll look like the Canadian flag.

1063
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,291
- I do direct deposit. You know that.
- [sniffing]

1064
00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:17,083
You smell like money, huh? You got...
You got Republican money, huh? [sniffs]

1065
00:43:17,166 --> 00:43:19,541
Hey, hey, hey. You know I'm a Bernie bro.

1066
00:43:19,625 --> 00:43:20,541
- Oh.
- You know that.

1067
00:43:20,625 --> 00:43:22,041
Ooh. [sniffs]

1068
00:43:22,125 --> 00:43:23,125
Stay still.

1069
00:43:23,291 --> 00:43:24,416
[sniffs]

1070
00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:25,500
Ooh.

1071
00:43:25,791 --> 00:43:27,375
You shop at Whole Foods.

1072
00:43:27,583 --> 00:43:31,166
[sniffing] You smell like the green bin
at Sprouts.

1073
00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:32,250
[sniffs]

1074
00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:34,000
Where the money at? Who got the checks?

1075
00:43:34,083 --> 00:43:35,541
- The che...
- [inhales deeply]

1076
00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:36,708
Who got the money?

1077
00:43:36,791 --> 00:43:38,416
- Relax, Alan.
- Who got the checks?

1078
00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:39,333
Talk to Linda.

1079
00:43:39,416 --> 00:43:41,375
- Who the hell is Linda, huh?
- Our boss.

1080
00:43:42,666 --> 00:43:43,750
We work for a bitch?

1081
00:43:44,166 --> 00:43:46,125
We work for Linda. She's nice.

1082
00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:48,375
- She's a nice bitch?
- Yeah.

1083
00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:50,083
Oh, people done changed.

1084
00:43:50,791 --> 00:43:52,333
[mumbles indistinctly]

1085
00:43:52,416 --> 00:43:54,208
- [door opens]
- It's good to see you, man.

1086
00:43:54,291 --> 00:43:55,500
[people chattering]

1087
00:43:58,875 --> 00:44:00,916
Where the hell is Linda's office, huh?

1088
00:44:02,625 --> 00:44:03,875
[telephone ringing]

1089
00:44:04,125 --> 00:44:05,125
Thank you.

1090
00:44:05,791 --> 00:44:06,791
Get back to work.

1091
00:44:08,291 --> 00:44:09,708
I said, get back to work!

1092
00:44:10,083 --> 00:44:11,208
[banging] Hey, Linda.

1093
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,083
I need to holler at you
'bout some bidness. Right now.

1094
00:44:15,166 --> 00:44:16,666
Agora. Pronto.

1095
00:44:16,750 --> 00:44:18,250
Excuse me?

1096
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,416
[inhales] Look here. I want...

1097
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:21,875
[tapping]

1098
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:23,250
what's mine.

1099
00:44:23,375 --> 00:44:24,250
You what?

1100
00:44:24,333 --> 00:44:26,083
Did I... [stutters]

1101
00:44:26,541 --> 00:44:27,541
stutter?

1102
00:44:30,083 --> 00:44:31,916
Well, well, well, Alan.

1103
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,666
I had to admit I was worried
you didn't get the message,

1104
00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:37,791
but I'm happy to see you
acting like you mean it.

1105
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:41,333
Oh, yeah. You know I'm about that life.
Shit. Hells yeah.

1106
00:44:41,416 --> 00:44:43,958
Hells yeah.

1107
00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:48,208
And I'm happy to see you
dress for Rashneep's retirement party.

1108
00:44:48,291 --> 00:44:49,291
Rash-who-the-what?

1109
00:44:49,666 --> 00:44:51,500
Look, I ain't here for no party.

1110
00:44:52,166 --> 00:44:54,791
I'm here on some bidness.

1111
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:57,041
I want my ends. My loot.

1112
00:44:58,291 --> 00:44:59,625
My scrilla.

1113
00:44:59,916 --> 00:45:00,916
Scrilla?

1114
00:45:01,375 --> 00:45:02,958
I want my advance.

1115
00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:05,833
Alan, you know that I don't give advances.

1116
00:45:05,916 --> 00:45:08,791
- Do I look like I give a shit?
- Hmm.

1117
00:45:09,166 --> 00:45:11,541
See, if I gave a shit, I'd look like this.

1118
00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:15,000
But I don't. So, I look like this.

1119
00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:17,875
- Now, do it.
- Alan...

1120
00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:20,083
you're talking to me like I work for you.

1121
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:23,625
Yeah, well, you know, now you smellin'
what I'm fartin'. You know?

1122
00:45:23,708 --> 00:45:25,268
Let me make something very clear, Alan.

1123
00:45:25,333 --> 00:45:27,916
You could talk to everyone else that way,

1124
00:45:28,208 --> 00:45:31,291
- but not your...
- Hold on, that's...

1125
00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:32,750
boss!

1126
00:45:32,833 --> 00:45:33,833
You hear me?

1127
00:45:35,416 --> 00:45:36,416
[chuckles]

1128
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:39,083
[sniffs]

1129
00:45:40,625 --> 00:45:42,375
Let me tell you something...

1130
00:45:43,583 --> 00:45:44,583
Linda.

1131
00:45:45,791 --> 00:45:48,125
- [gulps]
- [glass shatters]

1132
00:45:49,041 --> 00:45:50,041
Nobody,

1133
00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:51,291
but nobody,

1134
00:45:51,708 --> 00:45:53,000
talks to me that way.

1135
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:54,750
So, here's what I want you to do.

1136
00:45:54,833 --> 00:45:57,791
I want you to take your ass over there
and write me a check!

1137
00:45:58,375 --> 00:45:59,416
'Cause Daddy

1138
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,250
got bills to pay.

1139
00:46:02,375 --> 00:46:03,750
You feel me?

1140
00:46:05,666 --> 00:46:06,666
I feel you.

1141
00:46:06,833 --> 00:46:07,833
[Ethan] Mm-hmm.

1142
00:46:08,541 --> 00:46:09,541
Good.

1143
00:46:09,666 --> 00:46:10,958
I feel you!

1144
00:46:11,291 --> 00:46:12,333
Good.

1145
00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:15,208
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1146
00:46:15,291 --> 00:46:17,916
I feel you!

1147
00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:21,000
Okay. That's what we said. [chuckles]

1148
00:46:21,916 --> 00:46:23,416
- Oh. Wait. Ooh.
- [Linda moans]

1149
00:46:23,500 --> 00:46:25,750
- I feel that.
- I feel you.

1150
00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,833
Hey! Yeah. [chuckles]

1151
00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:30,708
I feel you.

1152
00:46:31,083 --> 00:46:33,375
- Okay!
- [Linda] I feel you.

1153
00:46:33,625 --> 00:46:34,625
[remote beeps]

1154
00:46:36,333 --> 00:46:38,416
Oh, man.
That's some cool shit right there.

1155
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:40,140
You know, I was thinkin' about gettin'...

1156
00:46:41,750 --> 00:46:43,958
Now it's time to consummate our...

1157
00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:46,083
[whispers] partnership.

1158
00:46:47,708 --> 00:46:48,833
Oh!

1159
00:46:52,333 --> 00:46:54,708
I think you just gave me a raise.

1160
00:46:54,791 --> 00:46:56,416
- [Linda] Mm-hmm.
- [Ethan] Mm.

1161
00:46:57,041 --> 00:46:57,875
Mm-hmm.

1162
00:46:57,958 --> 00:46:59,166
[kissing and moaning]

1163
00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,458
[Dawn] Ooh, stop in there. I need
something to drink.

1164
00:47:01,541 --> 00:47:04,416
- I am parched. Okurr?
- Hey, Alan. Can you get me some cereal?

1165
00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:06,620
[Dawn] All right, you need to stop
eating that cereal.

1166
00:47:06,666 --> 00:47:08,666
I think you got too much riboflavin
in your system.

1167
00:47:08,750 --> 00:47:10,458
That's why you big and swollen like that.

1168
00:47:10,541 --> 00:47:12,059
- Okay...
- It's affecting your thyroid.

1169
00:47:12,083 --> 00:47:15,083
- [Russell] Stop fat-shaming!
- [Alan] All right! Just stay in the car.

1170
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:16,666
Thank you.

1171
00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:18,708
[cell phone chimes]

1172
00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:21,208
[Dawn] Y'all some big-ass white boys.

1173
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:22,958
- Y'all truckers, huh?
- Damn.

1174
00:47:23,583 --> 00:47:25,291
[Dawn] I like me some truckers.

1175
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:28,416
'Cause you know why?
They can handle the wide load.

1176
00:47:28,750 --> 00:47:30,500
Huh? Can you take those turns, hmm?

1177
00:47:30,583 --> 00:47:32,250
[man] Yeah, I drive a big rig.

1178
00:47:32,333 --> 00:47:35,875
[Dawn] Let's skip all the small sides
and get straight to the main course.

1179
00:47:35,958 --> 00:47:37,416
Which one of you want some...

1180
00:47:37,833 --> 00:47:38,833
calamari?

1181
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:40,916
I am the seafood lover.

1182
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,013
[Dawn] There's a dumpster
right back there.

1183
00:47:43,083 --> 00:47:45,351
I'll close my eyes and pretend
y'all the Ying Yang Twins...

1184
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:46,458
Uh, Dawn. We gotta go.

1185
00:47:46,541 --> 00:47:48,375
Ugh! What?

1186
00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:51,083
Oh, my God. You comin' over here
lookin' all judgmental.

1187
00:47:51,166 --> 00:47:53,458
You are not God or Obama.

1188
00:47:53,541 --> 00:47:54,625
So, what do you want?

1189
00:47:55,041 --> 00:47:56,166
I'm sorry, fellas.

1190
00:47:56,250 --> 00:47:58,458
- My sister's spoken for, so...
- [scoffs]

1191
00:47:58,708 --> 00:48:00,000
Squeeze me.

1192
00:48:00,166 --> 00:48:01,708
I am a grown-ass woman.

1193
00:48:01,791 --> 00:48:03,684
- If I want to sit on they face...
- That's gross.

1194
00:48:03,708 --> 00:48:05,000
...I'mma do that, okay?

1195
00:48:05,083 --> 00:48:06,166
So, what do you want?

1196
00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:07,250
Girl, come on!

1197
00:48:07,833 --> 00:48:10,291
Oh, my goodness. You make me sick, Alan.

1198
00:48:11,458 --> 00:48:12,958
Did you get my Count Chocula?

1199
00:48:13,333 --> 00:48:15,125
- No, but they did have...
- Rats!

1200
00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:17,666
Oh, ain't nobody care
about no damn cereal.

1201
00:48:17,750 --> 00:48:19,958
God! So, did they have my Four Loko?

1202
00:48:20,041 --> 00:48:21,458
- No.
- Any fine liquors?

1203
00:48:21,750 --> 00:48:23,916
Four Loko is not fine liquor, Dawn.

1204
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,333
You have a drinking problem.

1205
00:48:25,416 --> 00:48:29,166
Listen, guys. I just got a ping
from the Adoption Registry in Mississippi.

1206
00:48:29,666 --> 00:48:30,875
Baby Pete is in the hospital.

1207
00:48:30,958 --> 00:48:32,458
- He's in ICU.
- Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.

1208
00:48:32,541 --> 00:48:34,059
- He only has a few days to live.
- Ooh.

1209
00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:35,541
Then we must hurry to his side!

1210
00:48:35,625 --> 00:48:38,166
- Mm.
- Listen, I promised Marie I'd be home.

1211
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:39,291
I'm havin' a baby soon.

1212
00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:40,583
He's our brother!

1213
00:48:40,875 --> 00:48:43,125
This might be our only chance
to meet him, Alan.

1214
00:48:43,208 --> 00:48:45,166
- [Dawn] Thanks.
- All right. Fine.

1215
00:48:46,166 --> 00:48:48,583
We'll drop Dawn,
and then you and I will go see Baby Pete.

1216
00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:50,041
Okey-dokey, smokey.

1217
00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:56,083
Hol' on, hol' on, hol' on, hol' on,
hol' on, hol' on, hol' on, hol' on!

1218
00:48:57,166 --> 00:49:00,291
I'm goin' with y'all, okay?
He's my brother, too.

1219
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:02,458
And right now, he needs his family.

1220
00:49:02,541 --> 00:49:05,208
Besides, if he rich,
I wanna be in that will.

1221
00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:07,416
Russell, I'm ridin' shotgun!

1222
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:08,500
You're a bully, Dawn!

1223
00:49:08,541 --> 00:49:11,208
So, get up out the front seat,
you smell like bellybutton.

1224
00:49:11,291 --> 00:49:13,833
I don't want that smell
woofin' on me as we drive.

1225
00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:15,125
I don't stink!

1226
00:49:15,208 --> 00:49:17,833
I just have a really aggressive
sweat gland disorder.

1227
00:49:17,916 --> 00:49:19,000
[clattering]

1228
00:49:19,083 --> 00:49:19,916
- Hey!
- Okay.

1229
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,559
- Stupid.
- Everybody in the car. Quick...

1230
00:49:21,583 --> 00:49:23,392
- What the hell did you do to my truck?
- Uh-oh.

1231
00:49:23,416 --> 00:49:26,375
Hol' on, hol' on, hol'...
Who the hell are you yellin' at?

1232
00:49:26,458 --> 00:49:28,583
You better turn that anger down.

1233
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,916
Your face all red.

1234
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:33,500
You better turn it down to pink,
and then back down to white.

1235
00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:34,750
I don't play that.

1236
00:49:34,833 --> 00:49:37,625
It's not really red,
it was more of an orange tint.

1237
00:49:38,208 --> 00:49:40,248
Uh, listen, I'm sorry.
It was... It was an accident.

1238
00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:42,916
How about I accidentally kick your ass?

1239
00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:45,708
Oh, oh, God! I know you didn't!

1240
00:49:45,791 --> 00:49:48,500
You did not threaten
my new brother like that.

1241
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:51,500
- See, I don't know him, but I love him.
- I don't know her.

1242
00:49:51,958 --> 00:49:54,166
I swear for God,
you don't know what you...

1243
00:49:54,250 --> 00:49:55,791
Wait, Dawn! Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn!

1244
00:49:55,875 --> 00:49:57,708
You think you so tough 'cause you tall?

1245
00:49:57,791 --> 00:50:00,875
I ain't afraid of you.
I'll kick you so hard in your balls,

1246
00:50:01,083 --> 00:50:02,833
that it'll replace your tonsils.

1247
00:50:02,916 --> 00:50:04,458
And if you get tonsillitis,

1248
00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,708
then they take out your tonsils,
but guess what?

1249
00:50:06,791 --> 00:50:08,625
They really takin' out your balls.

1250
00:50:09,666 --> 00:50:11,458
But they'll still give you ice cream.

1251
00:50:12,291 --> 00:50:14,375
Y'all think it's just empty threats?

1252
00:50:14,458 --> 00:50:17,416
You think this is an empty threat?
Oh, that's it. Now I'm bent!

1253
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:18,875
I got my Vaseline.

1254
00:50:19,083 --> 00:50:22,333
Oh, I'm about to put that Vaseline
all over my face

1255
00:50:22,416 --> 00:50:25,541
'cause when you hit me,
it's gonna slide right off, like, mmm...

1256
00:50:25,625 --> 00:50:26,705
And I'll look at you, like,

1257
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,250
"Now I'm mad."

1258
00:50:28,791 --> 00:50:29,916
Oh, you ain't gone yet?

1259
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000
I'mma turn my back, count to three.

1260
00:50:32,083 --> 00:50:33,208
If y'all ain't gone,

1261
00:50:33,541 --> 00:50:35,333
that's when I'mma go crazy.

1262
00:50:35,750 --> 00:50:37,875
One, two, three.

1263
00:50:37,958 --> 00:50:39,041
They're not gone, Dawn.

1264
00:50:40,291 --> 00:50:42,250
Ooh, they still there! Oh!

1265
00:50:42,333 --> 00:50:45,125
Oh, I see what it is. It's a full moon.

1266
00:50:45,708 --> 00:50:47,666
You gonna bring the werewolf out in me.

1267
00:50:48,166 --> 00:50:49,583
I see the moon, I'm like...

1268
00:50:49,666 --> 00:50:51,541
[growling]

1269
00:50:51,625 --> 00:50:54,083
[howls]

1270
00:50:54,375 --> 00:50:55,666
I'm a werewolf, bitch!

1271
00:50:55,916 --> 00:50:57,708
I'm sharpenin' my nails on the ground.

1272
00:50:57,791 --> 00:50:59,541
I sharpen my nails on the ground.

1273
00:50:59,833 --> 00:51:03,625
Yeah, I'm about to scratch your face
and give you infections!

1274
00:51:03,958 --> 00:51:05,000
Dawn, stop!

1275
00:51:05,833 --> 00:51:06,875
I got this!

1276
00:51:07,541 --> 00:51:09,041
Ain't nobody punkin' us!

1277
00:51:09,166 --> 00:51:11,486
Listen, how about you just give me
insurance information...

1278
00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:12,750
[grunts]

1279
00:51:13,625 --> 00:51:14,625
Oh!

1280
00:51:15,041 --> 00:51:16,041
[blows]

1281
00:51:16,791 --> 00:51:18,541
[screams]

1282
00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:20,958
- [man screams]
- [Dawn grunts]

1283
00:51:21,041 --> 00:51:23,625
- Ooh, get 'em, Dawn! Get 'em!
- [grunting]

1284
00:51:24,375 --> 00:51:25,583
- [grunting]
- Ooh.

1285
00:51:26,666 --> 00:51:28,333
[man grunting]

1286
00:51:29,166 --> 00:51:31,750
Don't you ever mess with my family!

1287
00:51:32,583 --> 00:51:34,125
Oh, you think this is a game?

1288
00:51:34,458 --> 00:51:35,458
Go deep, bitch!

1289
00:51:37,083 --> 00:51:37,958
[laughs]

1290
00:51:38,041 --> 00:51:39,125
Boo!

1291
00:51:39,208 --> 00:51:41,000
[Dawn] Boo-yah! [laughs]

1292
00:51:41,250 --> 00:51:43,166
I did it! I did it!

1293
00:51:43,375 --> 00:51:44,833
- [Alan groans]
- Alan?

1294
00:51:45,041 --> 00:51:45,875
Mm.

1295
00:51:45,958 --> 00:51:47,583
[Alan cries]

1296
00:51:48,750 --> 00:51:52,041
- Alan?
- Oh... my God.

1297
00:51:52,125 --> 00:51:53,726
- [crying]
- [Russell] You think he's dead?

1298
00:51:53,750 --> 00:51:55,833
No, dead people don't cry.

1299
00:51:56,750 --> 00:51:58,458
I think he broke my nose.

1300
00:51:59,083 --> 00:52:01,708
- You should probably see a doctor.
- Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

1301
00:52:01,791 --> 00:52:03,250
- Right?
- Definitely.

1302
00:52:03,333 --> 00:52:05,125
[cries]

1303
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:06,208
Ow!

1304
00:52:23,333 --> 00:52:24,333
[lock clattering]

1305
00:52:29,125 --> 00:52:30,583
[Spanish accent] Housekeeping!

1306
00:52:30,958 --> 00:52:32,458
Habla Inglés?

1307
00:52:33,333 --> 00:52:35,791
Oh, sookie, sookie now.

1308
00:52:36,250 --> 00:52:39,750
How'd a sucka like you
get a fox like that?

1309
00:52:39,916 --> 00:52:42,291
See, now I know you got money.
Where the money at?

1310
00:52:42,375 --> 00:52:43,500
[sniffing]

1311
00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:47,833
Oh!

1312
00:52:48,416 --> 00:52:49,416
[sucks teeth]

1313
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:50,833
Yeah, I'mma cut this conk off,

1314
00:52:50,916 --> 00:52:53,666
and I'mma take this sucka's identity
and his bitch.

1315
00:52:53,750 --> 00:52:55,708
I just need some clippers
and some vinegar.

1316
00:52:55,791 --> 00:52:57,000
- [razor turns on]
- [chuckles]

1317
00:52:59,750 --> 00:53:01,166
[humming]

1318
00:53:05,833 --> 00:53:07,583
Oh, my gosh, Alan!

1319
00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:09,500
[Marie laughs]

1320
00:53:09,583 --> 00:53:12,083
Hey! Surprise!

1321
00:53:12,166 --> 00:53:15,166
- I'm so glad you're home!
- Babe, good to see you.

1322
00:53:15,666 --> 00:53:16,666
[Ethan] Oh!

1323
00:53:17,333 --> 00:53:18,916
Oh! I missed...

1324
00:53:19,416 --> 00:53:21,291
- Hey, baby.
- Hey. Oh, oh!

1325
00:53:21,583 --> 00:53:22,791
- Alan! [laughs]
- Hmm?

1326
00:53:22,875 --> 00:53:24,934
- You never use tongue.
- Well, you know I'm tryin'...

1327
00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:26,518
- Alan.
- ...to change it up, baby girl.

1328
00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:28,041
- [laughs]
- Girl, look at you.

1329
00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:29,750
- You look good.
- Oh, thank you.

1330
00:53:29,833 --> 00:53:32,333
You look about six months pregnant
in the stomach,

1331
00:53:32,416 --> 00:53:34,416
and about nine months pregnant back there.

1332
00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:36,916
[chuckles] Oh, and we're gonna be late
for class.

1333
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:38,250
Wait.

1334
00:53:39,750 --> 00:53:42,583
Is that the sweater my mom got you
for your birthday?

1335
00:53:43,166 --> 00:53:44,375
You hate that thing.

1336
00:53:44,458 --> 00:53:47,166
Girl, don't be tryin' to hate on my love.
This is swag.

1337
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:49,583
All the real players wore Coogi. Come on.

1338
00:53:49,666 --> 00:53:52,916
Biggie, Snoop,
and then that Cosby put it on

1339
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,791
and put a whole stank connotation on it.
You know what I mean?

1340
00:53:56,041 --> 00:53:57,375
Why are you talkin' like that?

1341
00:53:58,250 --> 00:53:59,625
Why am I talkin' like what?

1342
00:53:59,708 --> 00:54:01,291
Like a 1970's pimp.

1343
00:54:01,708 --> 00:54:03,791
Aw, sh... Thank you.

1344
00:54:04,083 --> 00:54:06,750
Oh, my gosh, Alan.
Please tell me that gold cap's a temp.

1345
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:07,958
- This right here?
- Uh-huh.

1346
00:54:08,041 --> 00:54:11,625
That's the real thing.
That's eight carat gold-plated.

1347
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:13,875
Yeah, a little bit of mercury up in there.

1348
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,458
Sometimes I... suck it
and it make me a little dizzy.

1349
00:54:16,541 --> 00:54:20,541
- Okay. We're gonna be late. We gotta go.
- Okay, but wait, wait. Where are we goin'?

1350
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:21,666
Breastfeeding class.

1351
00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:23,375
- A class with breasts?
- Yes.

1352
00:54:23,458 --> 00:54:25,750
Yes. It's the last one
before the baby comes, remember?

1353
00:54:25,833 --> 00:54:27,916
- Oh, I'm gonna get an "A" in this.
- Come on.

1354
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,666
[chuckles] I'm coming!

1355
00:54:31,208 --> 00:54:33,166
[woman speaks indistinctly over PA]

1356
00:54:33,833 --> 00:54:36,726
Okay, hold tight. We're gonna get you
out of here. This might sting a bit.

1357
00:54:36,750 --> 00:54:38,958
Man, after what I've been through
the past 72 hours,

1358
00:54:39,041 --> 00:54:40,476
I can pretty much handle anything...

1359
00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:41,540
- [bones crack]
- [screams]

1360
00:54:41,583 --> 00:54:43,541
Oh, I should punch you in the throat!

1361
00:54:43,625 --> 00:54:45,333
Yeah, you're gonna need surgery.

1362
00:54:45,541 --> 00:54:47,166
Ideally, before the nose resets.

1363
00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:48,625
- [sighs]
- Go visit your brother.

1364
00:54:48,708 --> 00:54:50,108
We'll grab you once an OR opens up.

1365
00:54:50,166 --> 00:54:51,583
Hey! Don't touch me.

1366
00:54:53,583 --> 00:54:56,541
[Baby Pete] So, I had three
open-heart surgeries before I was 11.

1367
00:54:56,625 --> 00:54:59,333
[Russell scoffs] And I complained
to Mother about a toothache.

1368
00:54:59,416 --> 00:55:00,791
All I had was a cavity.

1369
00:55:01,125 --> 00:55:04,541
Seven feet of my intestines taken out
by the time I was 21.

1370
00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:06,541
I got both knees replaced,

1371
00:55:06,625 --> 00:55:08,583
and I said to my doctor, I said, "Doc,

1372
00:55:08,666 --> 00:55:10,750
is this gonna affect my NBA career?"

1373
00:55:10,833 --> 00:55:11,958
[all laugh]

1374
00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:14,708
[laughs]

1375
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:17,666
You's a trip, BP. You could've been
a stand-up comedian

1376
00:55:17,875 --> 00:55:19,875
if you wasn't gonna die
in, like, three days,

1377
00:55:19,958 --> 00:55:20,875
and you could stand up.

1378
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:23,916
[Baby Pete] Girl, you gonna make me
die laughin' with your big self.

1379
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,458
- It's a cold world, Dawn.
- Yes, it is.

1380
00:55:26,791 --> 00:55:28,000
Alan!

1381
00:55:28,416 --> 00:55:29,458
Hey!

1382
00:55:29,541 --> 00:55:30,625
Hey, bro-bro.

1383
00:55:30,708 --> 00:55:31,958
- [Alan] Baby Pete.
- Hey, Alan.

1384
00:55:32,041 --> 00:55:34,000
- [Dawn] Aw, look at this. Oh!
- How you doin'?

1385
00:55:34,083 --> 00:55:36,541
[grunts] Come on, brother.
Come here, give me some love.

1386
00:55:36,625 --> 00:55:38,458
Oh, it's so good to meet you.

1387
00:55:38,541 --> 00:55:40,708
That's what's up. Black love.

1388
00:55:40,791 --> 00:55:41,958
It's so sweet.

1389
00:55:42,041 --> 00:55:43,708
My God! [inhales deeply]

1390
00:55:43,791 --> 00:55:45,666
The resemblance is crazy.

1391
00:55:45,750 --> 00:55:47,291
We look like twins!

1392
00:55:47,375 --> 00:55:49,041
It... it's uncanny.

1393
00:55:49,500 --> 00:55:52,083
Uh, except for that busted-ass nose.

1394
00:55:52,166 --> 00:55:53,541
Yeah, I...

1395
00:55:53,875 --> 00:55:55,291
- I don't...
- Don't we look alike?

1396
00:55:55,375 --> 00:55:56,833
Y'all look like twinsies.

1397
00:55:56,916 --> 00:55:58,250
Like, the upper arms,

1398
00:55:58,333 --> 00:55:59,166
the chest...

1399
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:01,958
- Yeah, the hair. Like, the hair follicles.
- [Dawn] Uh-huh.

1400
00:56:02,041 --> 00:56:04,083
And even in the legs. Y'all got them...

1401
00:56:04,166 --> 00:56:06,541
them chicken-wing legs,
the ones that look like this.

1402
00:56:06,625 --> 00:56:09,745
This part of the chicken wing. Both y'all
got the same little chicken wing leg.

1403
00:56:09,791 --> 00:56:12,708
- [Alan] Really?
- We all see it. Them legs is same.

1404
00:56:12,791 --> 00:56:13,791
- Same legs.
- Uh, okay.

1405
00:56:13,875 --> 00:56:14,750
- All right.
- I see it.

1406
00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:17,793
Let's... let's not talk about the looks.
Let's talk about what's important.

1407
00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:21,333
And that is... how do you feel, huh?

1408
00:56:21,416 --> 00:56:24,708
Oh, not bad for a guy on his deathbed.

1409
00:56:24,791 --> 00:56:27,708
[laughs]

1410
00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:30,666
- That... That ain't funny.
- Completely inappropriate, Alan.

1411
00:56:30,750 --> 00:56:32,708
Just 'cause he look
like a little voodoo doll

1412
00:56:32,791 --> 00:56:34,500
don't mean you get to make fun of him.

1413
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,625
Oh, um... sorry.

1414
00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:38,333
But you do give me the heebie-jeebies.

1415
00:56:38,916 --> 00:56:41,916
'Cause my skin been crawlin'
since I been here.

1416
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,250
Like a little dehydrated Smurf.

1417
00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:47,750
You know, they're threatenin'
to amputate my right arm.

1418
00:56:47,916 --> 00:56:48,750
[scoffs]

1419
00:56:48,833 --> 00:56:50,500
Thank God I can throw with both.

1420
00:56:50,791 --> 00:56:51,958
[all] Me too!

1421
00:56:52,041 --> 00:56:53,291
- No way!
- That's so...

1422
00:56:53,375 --> 00:56:54,500
- Yeah?
- Really?

1423
00:56:54,583 --> 00:56:55,791
- Wow, this...
- This is crazy!

1424
00:56:55,875 --> 00:56:57,833
- Our genetics is strong.
- Oh, my God!

1425
00:56:58,208 --> 00:57:00,625
You know, I just want to thank you
for comin',

1426
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:02,916
from the bottom of my enlarged heart.

1427
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:05,208
I just knew one day,

1428
00:57:05,291 --> 00:57:07,458
a miracle's gonna walk
right through that door.

1429
00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:08,916
I just wanna thank God.

1430
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:11,041
God is good. Makes me wanna
scream His name and say,

1431
00:57:11,125 --> 00:57:12,916
♪ "God!" ♪

1432
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,416
♪ Holy do it! ♪

1433
00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:15,500
I pray to him,

1434
00:57:15,916 --> 00:57:19,458
and he makes my cereal cupeth
runneth overeth.

1435
00:57:21,250 --> 00:57:23,458
Dr. Williams! Hey.

1436
00:57:23,541 --> 00:57:25,017
- Hey! How you doin', Doc?
- Alan! Wow.

1437
00:57:25,041 --> 00:57:26,892
- Nice to meet you.
- Wow, what a wonderful thing

1438
00:57:26,916 --> 00:57:28,236
you're doin' for Baby Pete, Alan.

1439
00:57:28,291 --> 00:57:29,500
You are a hero.

1440
00:57:29,791 --> 00:57:31,750
Ah, it's no big deal, you know?

1441
00:57:31,833 --> 00:57:33,666
I mean, it's a bit of a drive, but...

1442
00:57:33,750 --> 00:57:37,416
Still. Not every day that a long-lost
family member appears out of thin air

1443
00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:38,500
to donate a kidney.

1444
00:57:38,541 --> 00:57:39,541
You said what?

1445
00:57:39,583 --> 00:57:41,958
[stammers] Now, Alan,
it's just a simple procedure.

1446
00:57:42,041 --> 00:57:43,583
You'll be out of here in a few days.

1447
00:57:43,666 --> 00:57:44,958
A few days?

1448
00:57:45,041 --> 00:57:48,125
As long as there are no complications.
But hey, you get the honor

1449
00:57:48,208 --> 00:57:49,500
of saving your brother's life.

1450
00:57:50,041 --> 00:57:52,125
Right? I just need you
to sign this release.

1451
00:57:52,208 --> 00:57:53,416
Doc, I don't care about him.

1452
00:57:53,500 --> 00:57:54,833
- I don't know him.
- Sure you do.

1453
00:57:54,916 --> 00:57:56,684
- You lyin', Alan.
- [doctor] You're so funny.

1454
00:57:56,708 --> 00:57:58,166
I don't know this little...

1455
00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:02,250
Why does it gotta be me?

1456
00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:04,809
Why you gotta take my kidney?
Why don't you take one of theirs?

1457
00:58:04,833 --> 00:58:08,416
Well, apparently, I'm "medically obese,"
so, it counts me out.

1458
00:58:08,541 --> 00:58:11,666
And don't look at me, 'cause I sniffed
way too much laptop cleaner,

1459
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:13,916
and I popped a Molly yesterday.

1460
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
I want some Molly.

1461
00:58:15,208 --> 00:58:16,041
What's Molly?

1462
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:17,708
Okay. [sighs]

1463
00:58:17,791 --> 00:58:20,166
Alan, I get it. You're scared.

1464
00:58:20,291 --> 00:58:22,333
I was scared when I had my first colonic.

1465
00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:23,875
He put a finger in my butt,

1466
00:58:23,958 --> 00:58:26,041
- I felt... But...
- No, no... That's not...

1467
00:58:26,708 --> 00:58:27,833
Okay.

1468
00:58:28,541 --> 00:58:29,916
- Baby Pete?
- Mm-hmm.

1469
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:31,041
I wanna help you.

1470
00:58:31,125 --> 00:58:32,333
- Okay.
- You're my brother.

1471
00:58:32,583 --> 00:58:34,833
For another three days to a week.

1472
00:58:35,125 --> 00:58:36,458
[coughs]

1473
00:58:36,833 --> 00:58:39,708
When he die, I'm just gonna take
his little dead body

1474
00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:41,125
and put it on a key chain,

1475
00:58:41,458 --> 00:58:42,791
like a rabbit's foot.

1476
00:58:43,291 --> 00:58:46,833
Look, guys. I'm about to become a dad.

1477
00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:48,750
And if something happens to me,

1478
00:58:48,833 --> 00:58:51,375
then my child will grow up
without a father.

1479
00:58:51,458 --> 00:58:53,166
And that already happened to me.

1480
00:58:53,416 --> 00:58:54,416
And you.

1481
00:58:55,375 --> 00:58:57,750
So, no. I'm sorry. I-I can't do it.

1482
00:58:58,458 --> 00:59:00,125
You, sir, are a monster!

1483
00:59:00,958 --> 00:59:02,041
That is not fair.

1484
00:59:02,333 --> 00:59:03,791
He's too young to die.

1485
00:59:04,166 --> 00:59:05,916
Take part of me, instead.

1486
00:59:06,208 --> 00:59:07,083
Just not my kidneys.

1487
00:59:07,166 --> 00:59:08,291
- Say what?
- Move, Dawn.

1488
00:59:08,375 --> 00:59:10,291
Oh, you ain't about nothin'.

1489
00:59:11,916 --> 00:59:15,333
I can't believe I fought
those two rednecks for you.

1490
00:59:15,750 --> 00:59:17,250
You started that fight!

1491
00:59:17,333 --> 00:59:19,458
Ugh, you make me sick.

1492
00:59:19,625 --> 00:59:20,625
Ugh.

1493
00:59:21,458 --> 00:59:23,583
Uh, look, Alan.

1494
00:59:24,208 --> 00:59:26,375
I'm high on the donor's list.

1495
00:59:26,458 --> 00:59:29,916
The doctor's say I have a 0.001 chance.

1496
00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:32,166
Yeah, [stammers] that's a chance.

1497
00:59:32,583 --> 00:59:33,750
- Mr. Daniels.
- Hey.

1498
00:59:34,208 --> 00:59:35,416
An OR just became available.

1499
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:37,416
We are ready to take care of that nose.

1500
00:59:37,500 --> 00:59:38,750
- Okay. Be careful.
- All right.

1501
00:59:38,833 --> 00:59:41,500
- Looks like it's setting sideways.
- Ow!

1502
00:59:41,583 --> 00:59:43,263
Just need you to sign these release forms.

1503
00:59:43,333 --> 00:59:44,875
Here you go, Doc.

1504
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:46,833
Aw, thanks, Baby Pete.

1505
00:59:46,916 --> 00:59:48,875
Ah, no problem, bro.

1506
00:59:57,375 --> 00:59:59,125
Baby Pete, I'm... I'm sorry.

1507
00:59:59,625 --> 01:00:01,291
Don't worry about it, Alan.

1508
01:00:01,833 --> 01:00:02,833
[chuckles]

1509
01:00:02,875 --> 01:00:05,708
Everything happens for a reason.

1510
01:00:07,750 --> 01:00:08,750
Be strong, okay?

1511
01:00:09,916 --> 01:00:11,125
Bye.

1512
01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,000
You'll always be with me.

1513
01:00:15,083 --> 01:00:18,416
And let go of all that negative energy.

1514
01:00:18,583 --> 01:00:21,916
Let go, and create a cocoon of positivity,

1515
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,880
- for your beautiful baby.
- All right, move on.

1516
01:00:23,916 --> 01:00:26,708
The sun, the moon, and the stars.
Let's get to the titties, you know?

1517
01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:28,750
Let's... That's what we're here for, right?

1518
01:00:28,833 --> 01:00:31,083
- Let's... Let's pull them suckers out.
- [clears throat]

1519
01:00:31,166 --> 01:00:32,625
- Alan.
- Did I say that out loud?

1520
01:00:32,708 --> 01:00:33,833
- Yes.
- My bad.

1521
01:00:34,291 --> 01:00:35,291
Sorry.

1522
01:00:36,041 --> 01:00:37,041
Now...

1523
01:00:37,375 --> 01:00:39,541
before you expose the nipple,

1524
01:00:39,625 --> 01:00:41,125
we want to be careful.

1525
01:00:41,208 --> 01:00:43,041
- Hey! Hey! Excuse me!
- Huh?

1526
01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:44,666
Absolutely no photos!

1527
01:00:44,750 --> 01:00:47,416
- Jesus, stop it!
- I just want one picture for the 'Gram.

1528
01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:49,340
[instructor]
No! Do I have to ask you to leave?

1529
01:00:49,375 --> 01:00:52,059
- [Marie] What's gotten into you?
- I ain't been feelin' well all day.

1530
01:00:52,083 --> 01:00:55,163
- [sniffs] Do you... Is that Hennessy?
- That's cognac, but it ain't Hennessy.

1531
01:00:55,416 --> 01:00:57,291
[clears throat, mutters indistinctly]

1532
01:00:59,541 --> 01:01:02,208
Now, latching is everything.

1533
01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:06,375
I just wanna volunteer
if anybody needs help with latching.

1534
01:01:06,458 --> 01:01:09,291
- That's it, sir. You have to leave.
- [people murmuring]

1535
01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:11,500
Man, y'all a bunch of prudes
in this class.

1536
01:01:12,500 --> 01:01:15,333
- Hold on... Girl, this is Coogi! The Coo...
- [Marie] Mm-mm.

1537
01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:16,958
Who the hell are you?

1538
01:01:17,041 --> 01:01:19,500
Baby, why you trippin'? I'm Alan.

1539
01:01:20,250 --> 01:01:21,250
You're Ethan.

1540
01:01:21,458 --> 01:01:23,625
Or Jaspar. You know what?
It doesn't matter.

1541
01:01:23,875 --> 01:01:25,958
You know what? I... I am Alan.

1542
01:01:26,041 --> 01:01:28,083
Says right here on my ID.

1543
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,583
See? That's Alan.

1544
01:01:30,541 --> 01:01:32,000
- Oh, hell no.
- That's me.

1545
01:01:32,500 --> 01:01:33,541
Oh, my goodness.

1546
01:01:33,625 --> 01:01:35,875
See, smilin'. Who you callin'?
Wait, who you callin'?

1547
01:01:35,958 --> 01:01:37,083
I'm callin' the police.

1548
01:01:37,166 --> 01:01:38,766
- You can't call the po-po!
- Yes, I can!

1549
01:01:38,791 --> 01:01:40,541
- Who are you, Barbecue Becky?
- I will be.

1550
01:01:40,625 --> 01:01:42,375
- Are you Permit Patty?
- Try me.

1551
01:01:42,458 --> 01:01:44,625
Okay. [stammers] Let a brother explain.

1552
01:01:46,458 --> 01:01:47,875
You've got five seconds.

1553
01:01:47,958 --> 01:01:48,791
[sighs]

1554
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:50,583
All right. Okay, here's the thing.

1555
01:01:51,333 --> 01:01:52,166
I'm Ethan.

1556
01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:53,375
That's what I thought.

1557
01:01:53,458 --> 01:01:56,583
I had got an email from Alan
saying he wanted to find a family,

1558
01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,458
and he sound real sentimental,
like a little sad sack,

1559
01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:00,833
so he sound vulnerable to me,

1560
01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:03,041
so I was like,
"Boom, let me get his identity."

1561
01:02:03,125 --> 01:02:05,250
So, I was gonna procure
a small business loan

1562
01:02:05,333 --> 01:02:07,791
because Alan got good credit.

1563
01:02:07,875 --> 01:02:10,541
Like, he got white credit.
See, I see why you was with him, sister.

1564
01:02:10,625 --> 01:02:13,083
Wait, so you were gonna steal
my husband's identity?

1565
01:02:13,166 --> 01:02:17,291
I'mma be real with you. I know I look rich
with this old gold tooth in my mouth,

1566
01:02:17,375 --> 01:02:18,833
that says, "Money, money, money!"

1567
01:02:20,416 --> 01:02:22,208
But that's not the case, okay? I...

1568
01:02:22,791 --> 01:02:24,416
[sighs] I'm flat broke.

1569
01:02:25,666 --> 01:02:28,250
Yeah, I lost my business
a couple of months ago.

1570
01:02:28,333 --> 01:02:30,750
- As what? A thief?
- [Ethan] Girl, I am legitimate.

1571
01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:32,916
I own a nail salon.

1572
01:02:33,125 --> 01:02:36,041
I do acrylics, gels, silks.

1573
01:02:36,125 --> 01:02:37,708
[chuckles] This place be magical.

1574
01:02:37,791 --> 01:02:40,125
Oh, really? Then what was it called?

1575
01:02:40,958 --> 01:02:43,000
"This Place Be Magical."

1576
01:02:44,583 --> 01:02:46,125
And why should I believe you?

1577
01:02:46,208 --> 01:02:49,333
Look here, did I hustle in the streets
my whole life?

1578
01:02:49,708 --> 01:02:53,416
Yes. Ain't nobody picked me up
from the State home.

1579
01:02:53,916 --> 01:02:55,833
So, you were never in a foster home?

1580
01:02:56,333 --> 01:02:57,333
No, ma'am.

1581
01:02:58,041 --> 01:02:59,208
Oh, my God. I'm...

1582
01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,666
- I'm so sorry...
- I'm good. I'm not... Stop that.

1583
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,250
I'm good. You know?
I'm happy I did, you know?

1584
01:03:05,333 --> 01:03:07,500
- Okay.
- 'Cause it... it made me who I am.

1585
01:03:07,583 --> 01:03:09,916
And I gotta tell ya, nail art?

1586
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:10,875
Bam!

1587
01:03:10,958 --> 01:03:12,625
[chuckles] It was poppin'!

1588
01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:16,500
Until the landlord wanna break my lease
without warnin'.

1589
01:03:16,583 --> 01:03:19,541
Oh, well that's not legal.
Any decent lawyer could tell you that.

1590
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:22,500
Girl, I can't afford no damn lawyer.
What's wrong with you?

1591
01:03:23,375 --> 01:03:24,666
What's your tenant ID?

1592
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:26,250
Hmm?

1593
01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,333
Only one phone call.

1594
01:03:31,041 --> 01:03:34,291
You gonna make me blush, and I'm black,
and it's gonna look weird.

1595
01:03:34,583 --> 01:03:35,583
[machine beeps]

1596
01:03:35,666 --> 01:03:37,333
[heart monitor beeps steadily]

1597
01:03:40,041 --> 01:03:41,875
[woman] All right, Alan, you're all set.

1598
01:03:41,958 --> 01:03:42,791
Okay.

1599
01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:45,208
- Tell the doc to make it pretty.
- [woman] Sure.

1600
01:03:45,708 --> 01:03:46,958
[stammering] Uh, what's that?

1601
01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:50,208
It's to relax you. I don't think
you're gonna wanna be awake for this.

1602
01:03:50,541 --> 01:03:51,875
Okay, that's a good point.

1603
01:03:52,875 --> 01:03:53,875
Oh, wow.

1604
01:03:55,666 --> 01:03:57,916
This that stuff Lil Wayne have in his cup.

1605
01:03:58,625 --> 01:03:59,666
Dr. Williams?

1606
01:03:59,750 --> 01:04:00,750
That's me.

1607
01:04:01,625 --> 01:04:03,000
I thought the other doctor was...

1608
01:04:03,625 --> 01:04:06,625
Didn't... Another doctor's
gonna be workin' on my... fix...

1609
01:04:07,208 --> 01:04:08,541
What's this thing called?

1610
01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:10,041
- Nose? Yes.
- Yeah.

1611
01:04:10,125 --> 01:04:11,333
Yes, we're doing that as well.

1612
01:04:11,416 --> 01:04:12,458
- You got a nose.
- I do.

1613
01:04:12,541 --> 01:04:14,301
You may wanna back off
the dose a little bit.

1614
01:04:14,375 --> 01:04:16,500
Nurse, you got a... You got a big nose.

1615
01:04:16,625 --> 01:04:18,791
Okay, everything's in order.
Let's get him marked up.

1616
01:04:18,875 --> 01:04:19,708
[laughing]

1617
01:04:19,791 --> 01:04:22,791
So, we will go in
through the naval, laproscopically.

1618
01:04:23,083 --> 01:04:25,708
Then, through the incision point,
we will remove the kidney

1619
01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:27,500
and transplant it in Baby Pete.

1620
01:04:27,750 --> 01:04:28,875
[gasps]

1621
01:04:29,791 --> 01:04:31,791
[screaming]

1622
01:04:34,958 --> 01:04:36,625
[Dr. Williams] Alan! Alan!

1623
01:04:37,333 --> 01:04:38,458
[crying]

1624
01:04:51,500 --> 01:04:53,041
- Ethan?
- [Ethan] Mm-hmm.

1625
01:04:53,333 --> 01:04:55,541
Um, have you seen my necklace,

1626
01:04:55,916 --> 01:04:57,583
the one with the diamond pendant?

1627
01:04:59,291 --> 01:05:01,083
- Wow!
- Oh, the one with the diamond p...

1628
01:05:01,166 --> 01:05:03,541
Oh, you... you... you talkin' about this
right here?

1629
01:05:03,833 --> 01:05:06,916
I was just, um, holdin' it for you.
I was cleanin' it, actually.

1630
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,375
You... You know,
you need to invest in a safe. Uh...

1631
01:05:09,458 --> 01:05:12,291
A less legitimate brother
might've stole this from you.

1632
01:05:12,375 --> 01:05:14,575
But I ain't that type of dude.
You know what I'm sayin'?

1633
01:05:14,916 --> 01:05:16,541
It's beautiful.

1634
01:05:16,833 --> 01:05:18,291
- Oh, oh!
- [Marie] Look at this.

1635
01:05:18,541 --> 01:05:20,341
- Ain't no thang but a chicken wang.
- [gasps]

1636
01:05:20,375 --> 01:05:21,625
You know, that's how I do.

1637
01:05:21,708 --> 01:05:23,958
You know, I just like to paint.
It's just somethin' I do.

1638
01:05:24,041 --> 01:05:26,291
That color right there,
that's a tough one. That's...

1639
01:05:26,375 --> 01:05:27,916
That's Nose Candy White.

1640
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,000
And all the hoochies love that one,
you know?

1641
01:05:30,083 --> 01:05:34,041
Behind Black Bitch, Big Booty Brown,
and Ratchet Raspberry.

1642
01:05:34,125 --> 01:05:36,083
But I... I thought it was
a little inappropriate

1643
01:05:36,166 --> 01:05:38,500
to paint the baby's room Black Bitch.

1644
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,750
I mean, unless of course, it's a girl.
Then, you know... it may work.

1645
01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:43,916
[crying] Thank you.

1646
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,791
And I-I just wanna take this time
to thank you for what you've done,

1647
01:05:47,875 --> 01:05:50,833
'cause, you know, throughout my life,
ain't nobody really ever

1648
01:05:50,916 --> 01:05:53,000
done me or treated me like... Shit!

1649
01:05:54,291 --> 01:05:56,541
- [grunts]
- Oh, Ethan.

1650
01:05:58,166 --> 01:06:00,000
What I... What I'm tryin' to say...

1651
01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:02,666
Not many people really give a fuck...

1652
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:03,875
about me.

1653
01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:05,750
[Ethan grunts]

1654
01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:07,916
One second. [inhales deeply]

1655
01:06:08,625 --> 01:06:11,416
What I'm tryin' to say is that,
you know, I had a hard...

1656
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:13,125
hard... [breathing heavily]

1657
01:06:13,208 --> 01:06:15,500
- [Marie] It's okay.
- Hard life...

1658
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,041
[mumbling]

1659
01:06:18,416 --> 01:06:19,833
[inhales deeply]

1660
01:06:19,916 --> 01:06:20,916
[exhales]

1661
01:06:21,166 --> 01:06:22,666
You're a good woman, you know?

1662
01:06:23,083 --> 01:06:25,041
You're kind, you got most of your hair.

1663
01:06:25,125 --> 01:06:28,083
- Thank you.
- Hey, look, Alan's a lucky man.

1664
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:29,250
- [chuckles]
- Yeah.

1665
01:06:29,291 --> 01:06:30,791
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! He's...

1666
01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:33,291
- Ooh.
- Look, 'cause I had some devious plans.

1667
01:06:33,375 --> 01:06:34,809
- I'm just keepin' it real.
- Uh-huh.

1668
01:06:34,833 --> 01:06:37,166
- You know? What happened? Is...
- [Marie chuckles]

1669
01:06:37,416 --> 01:06:38,892
- It's kicking.
- [Ethan] It's kicking?

1670
01:06:38,916 --> 01:06:40,196
Oh, you want me to kick it back?

1671
01:06:40,250 --> 01:06:41,791
- Oh, no, no, no. It's okay.
- Okay.

1672
01:06:41,875 --> 01:06:44,715
Oh, you got your little... Girl, I just...
I could teach him some stuff.

1673
01:06:44,791 --> 01:06:46,250
- I know Wu-Tang and...
- Really?

1674
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:48,500
Yeah, and Wong Chang and Chang Wong.

1675
01:06:48,583 --> 01:06:50,684
- Yeah, Ethan knows it.
- I can teach your baby to kick.

1676
01:06:50,708 --> 01:06:51,788
We could teach him to slap.

1677
01:06:51,833 --> 01:06:55,458
Ain't nobody was better at slap boxin'.
I'd slap the shit out them white boys.

1678
01:06:56,458 --> 01:06:57,833
[keyboard keys clacking]

1679
01:06:59,041 --> 01:07:01,875
[man over PA] Blue team to ICU, please.
Blue team, ICU.

1680
01:07:01,958 --> 01:07:03,750
[heart monitor beeps steadily]

1681
01:07:04,958 --> 01:07:05,958
[grunts]

1682
01:07:07,083 --> 01:07:08,208
Where am I?

1683
01:07:08,291 --> 01:07:09,541
Take it easy, Alan.

1684
01:07:09,625 --> 01:07:11,875
You've been out of surgery
for several hours.

1685
01:07:12,166 --> 01:07:14,666
One less kidney, but your nose
is back to normal.

1686
01:07:16,083 --> 01:07:17,083
One less...

1687
01:07:18,375 --> 01:07:19,375
[gasps]

1688
01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:21,958
- [screaming]
- Okay, calm down.

1689
01:07:22,041 --> 01:07:23,641
- It's fine. Deep breaths.
- Where is he?

1690
01:07:23,666 --> 01:07:24,791
- No, no.
- Where is he?

1691
01:07:24,875 --> 01:07:26,976
- I'm going to kill this little... Oh!
- Sir, please, no!

1692
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:29,708
- You need to take it easy!
- Take it easy?!

1693
01:07:29,791 --> 01:07:31,208
The boy took my kidney!

1694
01:07:31,291 --> 01:07:32,625
I need my kidney.

1695
01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:35,541
I don't know what for, but I need it!
Can you put it back?

1696
01:07:35,625 --> 01:07:36,833
No. That's ridiculous.

1697
01:07:36,916 --> 01:07:38,625
- Stay in bed.
- [groans]

1698
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,041
Okay, where is he? Where's Baby Pete?

1699
01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:42,458
On a flight to Havana.

1700
01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:44,541
He took my kidney to a communist country?

1701
01:07:44,625 --> 01:07:46,041
He took a Medi-Jet this afternoon.

1702
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:48,833
He started a crowdfunding page
for his post-op.

1703
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:51,875
Raised $200,000.
People really love that guy.

1704
01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:54,125
I hate that guy! I'm gonna kill him.

1705
01:07:54,208 --> 01:07:56,291
- Where's my keys? Where are my keys?
- Oh!

1706
01:07:56,375 --> 01:07:58,208
Well, your sister left you this.

1707
01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:04,875
"IOU $10,000

1708
01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:07,291
and one car.

1709
01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:10,583
You my boo thang four life. Dawn."

1710
01:08:10,666 --> 01:08:11,500
[inhales]

1711
01:08:11,583 --> 01:08:15,000
You don't spell "for" F-O-U-R,
you ignoramus!

1712
01:08:15,250 --> 01:08:17,333
Didn't they teach you English in jail?!

1713
01:08:17,416 --> 01:08:20,208
All right. You stay there,
and I'm gonna get the doctor.

1714
01:08:20,291 --> 01:08:21,333
[Alan] Okay.

1715
01:08:23,041 --> 01:08:23,875
[door opens]

1716
01:08:23,958 --> 01:08:25,708
I'm gonna kill these people! All of 'em.

1717
01:08:26,083 --> 01:08:27,583
You gave him your kidney?

1718
01:08:27,666 --> 01:08:30,083
Well, I didn't give it to him.
He stole it.

1719
01:08:30,166 --> 01:08:31,166
Ow!

1720
01:08:31,416 --> 01:08:33,416
Well, [stammering] are you okay?

1721
01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:35,125
[Alan] No, I'm not okay.

1722
01:08:35,208 --> 01:08:37,416
Only good thing is
they fixed my broken nose.

1723
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:40,083
Broken nose? What... What the hell
is goin' on over there?

1724
01:08:40,166 --> 01:08:42,375
I don't know.
I had all these dreams, Marie,

1725
01:08:42,750 --> 01:08:46,541
about us bein' a family and I finally
have somethin' to bring to the table.

1726
01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:48,500
But you know what I learned about family?

1727
01:08:48,583 --> 01:08:49,416
They take.

1728
01:08:49,500 --> 01:08:51,958
They take your money,
they take your car... [groans]

1729
01:08:52,041 --> 01:08:53,166
they take your kidney.

1730
01:08:53,250 --> 01:08:56,291
Look. I don't know exactly
what's going on over there,

1731
01:08:56,375 --> 01:08:58,291
but you need to get your shit together!

1732
01:08:58,375 --> 01:09:01,059
- But baby, it's not me! You don't unders...
- No, no, no! I wanted you

1733
01:09:01,083 --> 01:09:03,666
to find your family,
to help you fill that void.

1734
01:09:03,750 --> 01:09:05,083
And up till this very moment,

1735
01:09:05,166 --> 01:09:07,226
- I have been supportive of you.
- [Alan] Yes, but...

1736
01:09:07,250 --> 01:09:08,458
M-Marie, you don't understand.

1737
01:09:08,541 --> 01:09:10,833
It's not me, it's these people,
this... this family!

1738
01:09:10,916 --> 01:09:11,916
They screw everything up.

1739
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,500
[Marie] No, Alan, it is you
who is screwing everything up

1740
01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:16,041
with the family you have right here!

1741
01:09:16,375 --> 01:09:17,916
I'm having your baby.

1742
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:21,583
And you need to bring your ass home,
or don't bother coming home at all!

1743
01:09:22,833 --> 01:09:25,375
That might be the hormones talking,
I'm not really sure.

1744
01:09:25,458 --> 01:09:27,434
- Marie, baby, you don...
- Just bring your ass home!

1745
01:09:27,458 --> 01:09:28,618
- [call disconnects]
- [sighs]

1746
01:09:29,083 --> 01:09:30,083
Excuse me.

1747
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,750
Yo!

1748
01:09:32,125 --> 01:09:33,125
Uber!

1749
01:09:33,458 --> 01:09:34,458
Hey.

1750
01:09:35,916 --> 01:09:36,916
Are you for Alan?

1751
01:09:37,458 --> 01:09:38,583
Uh, no, Elaine.

1752
01:09:38,958 --> 01:09:40,541
- Damn it.
- [Russell] Hey, Alan!

1753
01:09:41,250 --> 01:09:42,583
Where do you think you're goin'?

1754
01:09:43,208 --> 01:09:46,958
The doctor was pretty insistent
that you stay here for at least a week.

1755
01:09:48,208 --> 01:09:49,958
You know, Alan, I've been thinking.

1756
01:09:50,083 --> 01:09:52,375
That was a pretty incredible thing
you did for Baby Pete.

1757
01:09:52,791 --> 01:09:55,125
Who gives their kidney
to somebody he just met?

1758
01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:58,750
Yeah, but then again, I did you give you
my second-to-last hard candy, so...

1759
01:09:59,291 --> 01:10:02,041
I guess we both sacrificed, huh? Heroes.

1760
01:10:03,500 --> 01:10:04,541
I'm goin' home.

1761
01:10:05,333 --> 01:10:06,500
[Russell] Seriously?

1762
01:10:06,833 --> 01:10:09,333
I really woulda wish I had known
that was the case.

1763
01:10:09,750 --> 01:10:11,458
I just said goodbye to Dawn.

1764
01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:14,958
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure
she would've taken us back, though.

1765
01:10:15,333 --> 01:10:16,333
"Us"?

1766
01:10:18,541 --> 01:10:19,916
Did you just say "us"?

1767
01:10:20,666 --> 01:10:24,083
Yeah, Alan. I'm not gonna abandon you
after you had a major surgery.

1768
01:10:24,750 --> 01:10:25,750
Russell...

1769
01:10:25,958 --> 01:10:27,333
there is no "us".

1770
01:10:27,833 --> 01:10:29,875
This trip is over.

1771
01:10:30,833 --> 01:10:31,833
I'm goin' home.

1772
01:10:33,125 --> 01:10:34,125
Alone.

1773
01:10:34,958 --> 01:10:37,416
Wait, so you're just gonna leave
without me?

1774
01:10:37,708 --> 01:10:38,541
[scoffs]

1775
01:10:38,625 --> 01:10:39,625
We're brothers!

1776
01:10:39,708 --> 01:10:41,083
You're gonna make me say it, huh?

1777
01:10:41,166 --> 01:10:42,083
Don't hit me.

1778
01:10:42,166 --> 01:10:44,000
I never wanna see you again!

1779
01:10:44,375 --> 01:10:45,875
I don't wanna be in a car with you,

1780
01:10:46,166 --> 01:10:50,291
or any enclosed space,
with you or that supposed family,

1781
01:10:50,625 --> 01:10:51,708
for the rest of my...

1782
01:10:52,333 --> 01:10:53,791
now-shortened life.

1783
01:10:54,791 --> 01:10:57,791
Let's just go back to pretending
that neither of us even exist.

1784
01:10:59,708 --> 01:11:01,541
Is that clear enough for you, Russell?

1785
01:11:03,166 --> 01:11:04,041
[man] Alan.

1786
01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:05,125
- Finally.
- [screams]

1787
01:11:05,666 --> 01:11:06,666
[grunts]

1788
01:11:06,750 --> 01:11:08,708
I don't know him!
I'll use my warning whistle!

1789
01:11:08,791 --> 01:11:11,333
[whistling]

1790
01:11:12,625 --> 01:11:13,708
[tires skid]

1791
01:11:16,291 --> 01:11:17,666
[Alan panting]

1792
01:11:19,958 --> 01:11:21,625
[Alan grunting]

1793
01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:23,916
[continues panting]

1794
01:11:25,041 --> 01:11:25,875
Hey.

1795
01:11:26,041 --> 01:11:27,333
This is my house.

1796
01:11:27,708 --> 01:11:29,375
Who the hell would bring us here?

1797
01:11:30,083 --> 01:11:31,416
[man] I understand...

1798
01:11:31,958 --> 01:11:34,041
you're looking for me.

1799
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:37,125
[gasps]

1800
01:11:37,708 --> 01:11:40,333
- What the hell are you doin'?
- I'm playing dead.

1801
01:11:40,416 --> 01:11:43,041
This way, he sees you're alive,
he'll kill you first,

1802
01:11:43,125 --> 01:11:45,083
buy me time to plot my escape.

1803
01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:50,083
[man] And now...

1804
01:11:50,750 --> 01:11:52,625
you will regret...

1805
01:11:53,083 --> 01:11:55,125
that you have...

1806
01:11:55,208 --> 01:11:57,166
found...

1807
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,208
me.

1808
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:00,833
Jaspar?

1809
01:12:00,916 --> 01:12:02,416
In the flesh.

1810
01:12:04,083 --> 01:12:05,083
Revive him.

1811
01:12:05,625 --> 01:12:07,291
- [electricity crackles]
- [screams]

1812
01:12:07,375 --> 01:12:10,625
[pants] Oh! That made my nipples dance.

1813
01:12:10,916 --> 01:12:12,416
[shudders] I thought I was a goner.

1814
01:12:12,500 --> 01:12:14,333
Thank you, kind sir, for saving my life.

1815
01:12:14,666 --> 01:12:17,458
- I'm forever indebted...
- Enough of the buffoonery!

1816
01:12:18,083 --> 01:12:20,041
Y-You know, despite the obvious...

1817
01:12:21,000 --> 01:12:22,500
we look exactly alike.

1818
01:12:22,750 --> 01:12:24,833
You and I? Hardly.

1819
01:12:25,666 --> 01:12:26,666
Us?

1820
01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:28,166
Negative.

1821
01:12:28,708 --> 01:12:30,083
You two, however...

1822
01:12:30,166 --> 01:12:31,666
[chuckles] It's uncanny.

1823
01:12:32,166 --> 01:12:33,291
Twinsies.

1824
01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:35,708
I find it ironic that I...

1825
01:12:36,166 --> 01:12:39,291
am the black sheep of the family.

1826
01:12:41,666 --> 01:12:43,166
- Laugh!
- [laughs]

1827
01:12:43,250 --> 01:12:44,750
[laughing]

1828
01:12:44,833 --> 01:12:46,166
I didn't... I didn't get it.

1829
01:12:46,291 --> 01:12:47,791
[whispers] Laugh, Russell. [laughs]

1830
01:12:48,041 --> 01:12:49,625
[laughing]

1831
01:12:50,291 --> 01:12:51,625
[Russell] Get it? [laughs]

1832
01:12:51,708 --> 01:12:54,000
'Cause he's really light-skinned
and yellow,

1833
01:12:54,333 --> 01:12:56,041
like jaundiced chicken or something.

1834
01:12:56,125 --> 01:12:57,458
[Russell laughs]

1835
01:12:57,916 --> 01:12:59,416
Oh. That's not funny.

1836
01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,750
You know, growing up, I...

1837
01:13:03,291 --> 01:13:04,666
I never quite fit in.

1838
01:13:05,041 --> 01:13:07,416
Oh, Lord. Here we go.

1839
01:13:07,500 --> 01:13:10,333
A black kid, light skin, red hair.

1840
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:15,208
I was called all kind of terrible,
derogatory names.

1841
01:13:16,083 --> 01:13:17,500
"Strawberry Shortcake."

1842
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:19,500
"The Butterscotch Kid."

1843
01:13:20,416 --> 01:13:22,000
"Little Orphan Annie."

1844
01:13:22,625 --> 01:13:23,708
I have to admit...

1845
01:13:24,083 --> 01:13:25,666
it was a hard-knock life.

1846
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,208
[awkward laugh]

1847
01:13:27,458 --> 01:13:29,375
They called me "ninger."

1848
01:13:29,458 --> 01:13:31,416
You know what a "ninger" is?

1849
01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:34,833
It's an "n" - word and a ginger, mixed.

1850
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:36,416
It's good, it's good.

1851
01:13:37,208 --> 01:13:42,041
You throw two derogatory terms together
and you make me a "ninger"?

1852
01:13:42,125 --> 01:13:43,583
[growls]

1853
01:13:44,541 --> 01:13:48,583
But despite the odds, I found my place...

1854
01:13:48,666 --> 01:13:49,875
[shuddering breaths]

1855
01:13:49,958 --> 01:13:51,041
in the world.

1856
01:13:51,125 --> 01:13:52,791
You see, gentlemen,

1857
01:13:52,875 --> 01:13:56,875
I collect sensitive information
for high net-worth individuals,

1858
01:13:57,250 --> 01:13:58,333
and the government,

1859
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:01,666
and I've run the occasional
offshore black site,

1860
01:14:01,750 --> 01:14:04,166
but that was just really
for my entertainment.

1861
01:14:04,250 --> 01:14:05,750
[laughs]

1862
01:14:05,833 --> 01:14:07,333
[stammers] So, you're a spy?

1863
01:14:07,416 --> 01:14:09,625
Officially, I don't exist.

1864
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:10,833
[exhales]

1865
01:14:10,916 --> 01:14:11,833
Cool!

1866
01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:13,583
Yet, your wife...

1867
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:14,750
[chuckles]

1868
01:14:15,791 --> 01:14:19,833
called The Pentagon about me, seven times.

1869
01:14:19,916 --> 01:14:21,333
She's just persistent.

1870
01:14:21,625 --> 01:14:24,208
And that raises red flags, Alan.

1871
01:14:24,708 --> 01:14:26,541
I don't like red flags.

1872
01:14:26,625 --> 01:14:28,833
Gonna have to agree with Jaspar
on that one.

1873
01:14:28,916 --> 01:14:30,500
Red flags are not good.

1874
01:14:30,583 --> 01:14:32,250
Would you shut the fuck up?

1875
01:14:32,333 --> 01:14:33,958
You shut up. [inhales deeply]

1876
01:14:37,208 --> 01:14:40,291
Why are you...

1877
01:14:40,750 --> 01:14:42,166
trying...

1878
01:14:43,625 --> 01:14:45,541
[yelling] to find me?

1879
01:14:45,625 --> 01:14:48,708
I-I just wanted to meet my family,
so I tracked down our birth mother,

1880
01:14:48,791 --> 01:14:50,125
but she was dead.

1881
01:14:50,458 --> 01:14:52,125
- That's the truth!
- Lies!

1882
01:14:52,666 --> 01:14:54,541
He has a really juicy mouth, right?

1883
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:58,375
- I gotta teach you the hard way.
- [stammers] What's that? What's that box?

1884
01:14:58,708 --> 01:15:01,583
- [Jaspar] Liar, liar...
- [stammers] I'm not lying! I swear.

1885
01:15:01,666 --> 01:15:05,125
- What's that? What's that?
- ...pants on fire.

1886
01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:07,916
You gonna attach that to my balls?
Wait, wait, wait!

1887
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,120
Okay, listen. I'm not lyin'.

1888
01:15:09,166 --> 01:15:10,041
I'm having a baby!

1889
01:15:10,125 --> 01:15:11,958
You won't have no baby no more.

1890
01:15:12,041 --> 01:15:13,208
And Russell, well,

1891
01:15:13,291 --> 01:15:15,833
- he got so much TV left to watch.
- I do.

1892
01:15:15,916 --> 01:15:18,083
I don't think he's seen anything
after 1984.

1893
01:15:20,958 --> 01:15:22,750
Television. Huh.

1894
01:15:24,333 --> 01:15:26,791
So, uh, what's your favorite show?

1895
01:15:27,166 --> 01:15:28,166
Ooh.

1896
01:15:28,208 --> 01:15:30,333
The Rockford Files.

1897
01:15:31,125 --> 01:15:33,041
Oh!

1898
01:15:33,541 --> 01:15:35,375
Rockford Files.

1899
01:15:35,458 --> 01:15:37,041
- Mm-hmm.
- [Jaspar] Here's a fun fact.

1900
01:15:37,458 --> 01:15:41,708
I am the largest collector
of Rockford memorabilia

1901
01:15:42,083 --> 01:15:44,166
this side of the Western Hemisphere!

1902
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:45,333
Impressive.

1903
01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,416
[Jaspar] In fact...

1904
01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:49,333
I own the original picture car.

1905
01:15:49,416 --> 01:15:50,250
Braggart.

1906
01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:53,458
Y-You know, Russell owns
the only existing copy

1907
01:15:53,541 --> 01:15:55,250
of the operating manual for that car.

1908
01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:56,583
Don't you, Russell?

1909
01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:58,583
Does he?

1910
01:15:58,666 --> 01:16:01,333
Some stupid rich guy
keeps trying to get it from me,

1911
01:16:01,416 --> 01:16:02,833
and I tell him, "No, idiot."

1912
01:16:03,916 --> 01:16:05,458
You're the one.

1913
01:16:05,541 --> 01:16:07,333
- Oh, it's you.
- Uh-oh.

1914
01:16:07,416 --> 01:16:09,250
I've been lookin' for that.

1915
01:16:09,333 --> 01:16:12,000
- I'm gonna fry your fat balls!
- I-I-I... Wait. Hold on.

1916
01:16:12,083 --> 01:16:16,000
Listen, I can vocalize the theme song
to Rockford Files with near perfect pitch.

1917
01:16:16,083 --> 01:16:16,916
Who cares?

1918
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,208
[vocalizing]

1919
01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:26,250
Take it away, Alan!

1920
01:16:26,666 --> 01:16:29,625
[Alan and Russell vocalizing]

1921
01:16:30,041 --> 01:16:33,000
Oh. [imitates drums]

1922
01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:35,333
["Rockford Files"
instrumental theme plays]

1923
01:16:35,875 --> 01:16:36,708
Take it away, Jack!

1924
01:16:36,791 --> 01:16:38,916
[imitates harmonica]

1925
01:16:40,250 --> 01:16:42,458
[Russell imitates harmonica]

1926
01:16:42,541 --> 01:16:44,875
[vocalizing]

1927
01:16:50,458 --> 01:16:53,000
[Alan imitates guitar]

1928
01:16:53,875 --> 01:16:55,583
[scatting]

1929
01:16:55,666 --> 01:16:57,916
[Alan imitates synthesizer]

1930
01:16:58,625 --> 01:16:59,625
[laughs]

1931
01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:01,416
Ow!

1932
01:17:03,583 --> 01:17:05,583
Let 'em go! Untie 'em!

1933
01:17:05,666 --> 01:17:07,166
- Thank you.
- [Jaspar scatting]

1934
01:17:08,333 --> 01:17:09,333
[Jaspar chuckles]

1935
01:17:09,666 --> 01:17:11,666
And to think, I was gonna kill ya.

1936
01:17:12,250 --> 01:17:15,666
But you still haven't told me the truth!

1937
01:17:15,750 --> 01:17:16,916
- [screams]
- Wh-whoa!

1938
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:18,541
What are you doin'? This is crazy!

1939
01:17:18,625 --> 01:17:21,458
"Crazy" is being raised

1940
01:17:21,541 --> 01:17:23,125
in a State home

1941
01:17:23,208 --> 01:17:27,708
by government psychiatrists
that lie about who you are!

1942
01:17:28,041 --> 01:17:29,041
Okay, that's crazy.

1943
01:17:29,083 --> 01:17:32,666
Never feeling the embrace
of your mother.

1944
01:17:33,958 --> 01:17:36,625
Not one frickin' hug, Alan.

1945
01:17:36,791 --> 01:17:38,041
[sobs] Not one.

1946
01:17:38,875 --> 01:17:41,958
Well, as the only one here who has
received the embrace of his mother,

1947
01:17:42,375 --> 01:17:44,041
I'll tell you, hugs are overrated

1948
01:17:44,416 --> 01:17:46,625
and a breeding ground for diseases.

1949
01:17:47,083 --> 01:17:48,916
[whispering] Shut the hell up!

1950
01:17:49,166 --> 01:17:50,625
Besides, Mama smells weird.

1951
01:17:51,083 --> 01:17:53,541
Like moth balls and used floss string.

1952
01:17:53,625 --> 01:17:55,666
Now it's time...

1953
01:17:56,333 --> 01:17:57,916
to say your goodbyes.

1954
01:17:58,000 --> 01:17:58,916
Jaspar, please.

1955
01:17:59,000 --> 01:17:59,875
Bye, Alan.

1956
01:17:59,958 --> 01:18:01,708
- [cocks gun]
- Please, please, please.

1957
01:18:01,791 --> 01:18:03,291
- [gasps]
- [door closes]

1958
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:07,166
What in the highest heavens is goin' on?

1959
01:18:07,750 --> 01:18:09,250
Russell, I know this ain't no party,

1960
01:18:09,333 --> 01:18:11,041
'cause you ain't got no damn friends.

1961
01:18:11,125 --> 01:18:12,166
Aw, Mother.

1962
01:18:12,708 --> 01:18:13,791
What're you doing home?

1963
01:18:13,875 --> 01:18:14,875
Mother?

1964
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:17,166
Yeah, there was an E. coli outbreak
on the cruise ship,

1965
01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:18,791
so they let us off in Ensenada.

1966
01:18:19,291 --> 01:18:22,375
Now, somebody need to start talkin'
before I get my belt.

1967
01:18:22,833 --> 01:18:24,500
Or worse, my shotgun.

1968
01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:27,041
I-I thought you was dead.

1969
01:18:27,125 --> 01:18:28,500
That's news to me.

1970
01:18:31,333 --> 01:18:32,333
I'm Alan.

1971
01:18:33,958 --> 01:18:34,958
I'm your son.

1972
01:18:35,375 --> 01:18:37,000
My Lord. Alan?

1973
01:18:38,291 --> 01:18:40,291
Oh, my God. My baby?

1974
01:18:41,083 --> 01:18:43,166
Look at you. You all growed up.

1975
01:18:44,083 --> 01:18:46,083
So tall and handsome.

1976
01:18:46,708 --> 01:18:48,833
You look just like your brother.
[sniffles]

1977
01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:51,291
I told you. Twinsies.

1978
01:18:51,375 --> 01:18:52,958
Same hairline and everything.

1979
01:18:53,416 --> 01:18:55,208
Oh, it's uncanny!

1980
01:18:55,791 --> 01:18:58,458
Oh, so good to see you. Come here.

1981
01:18:59,041 --> 01:19:00,791
- Oh!
- [Alan gasping]

1982
01:19:00,875 --> 01:19:03,708
- Feels so good to have you in my arms!
- [muffled] Mom...

1983
01:19:03,791 --> 01:19:05,458
- It's been so long.
- [Alan gasping]

1984
01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:08,833
Hey, Alan, you smell it? You smell
the moth balls and the dentures?

1985
01:19:08,958 --> 01:19:11,250
Just breathe them bosom scents. Yes!

1986
01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:13,453
- [Alan grunting]
- Okay, okay, that's enough, Mother.

1987
01:19:14,125 --> 01:19:15,541
[strained gasping]

1988
01:19:15,833 --> 01:19:16,666
[coughs]

1989
01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:18,375
I just got carried away.

1990
01:19:18,458 --> 01:19:20,375
- [Jaspar wailing]
- [Alan sniffs]

1991
01:19:20,833 --> 01:19:22,208
Who stepped on a cat?

1992
01:19:22,291 --> 01:19:24,625
[wailing]

1993
01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:25,708
Oh, Jaspar.

1994
01:19:26,041 --> 01:19:27,875
[shuddering breaths]

1995
01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:30,375
Oh, my Lord. Jaspar?

1996
01:19:30,458 --> 01:19:32,166
[crying] Yes, Mother.

1997
01:19:32,625 --> 01:19:35,166
I'd recognize that face anywhere.

1998
01:19:35,833 --> 01:19:37,083
You do? Oh, Mother!

1999
01:19:37,416 --> 01:19:40,000
Oh, you got all the Irish in you, boy.

2000
01:19:40,375 --> 01:19:41,375
One thirty-fourth.

2001
01:19:41,791 --> 01:19:45,125
Look at you with all them
beautiful pink undertones,

2002
01:19:45,208 --> 01:19:47,666
with your honey-almond complexion.

2003
01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,958
Look at my lilttle redbone. Mm-mm.

2004
01:19:51,041 --> 01:19:52,750
[yells] Now, put that goddamn gun down,

2005
01:19:52,833 --> 01:19:55,708
- 'fore I spank the pink out yo ass!
- I'm sorry, Mother. I'm so sorry.

2006
01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:57,416
Who the hell you think you are?

2007
01:19:57,666 --> 01:19:58,958
I've been a bad boy.

2008
01:19:59,041 --> 01:19:59,916
Yes, you have.

2009
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:01,291
I think I need a whooping.

2010
01:20:01,375 --> 01:20:04,916
You could just spank me
all over my little red tushie.

2011
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,416
[Jaspar whines]

2012
01:20:06,666 --> 01:20:08,000
- Oh, baby.
- Oh, Mother.

2013
01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:09,541
It's not your fault, honey.

2014
01:20:09,875 --> 01:20:11,083
It's not your fault.

2015
01:20:11,166 --> 01:20:13,750
Oh, Mother. Your big man hands.

2016
01:20:13,833 --> 01:20:16,125
Mama should've know
something like this was gonna happen.

2017
01:20:16,833 --> 01:20:19,666
[shuddering breaths]
You all were just babies when I...

2018
01:20:20,041 --> 01:20:22,625
[crying] dropped you off
like an old bag of dirty clothes.

2019
01:20:23,833 --> 01:20:24,833
I was young.

2020
01:20:25,125 --> 01:20:28,041
A single mom with six babies. No husband.

2021
01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:29,625
[inhales deeply] No family.

2022
01:20:30,250 --> 01:20:31,291
I had no one.

2023
01:20:31,375 --> 01:20:32,791
It's such a stereotype.

2024
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,083
It's okay.

2025
01:20:34,166 --> 01:20:37,208
[inhales deeply]
'Cause now all y'all have each other.

2026
01:20:37,541 --> 01:20:38,625
Thanks to you, Alan.

2027
01:20:40,166 --> 01:20:42,250
So, why would you tell me she was dead?

2028
01:20:42,333 --> 01:20:43,583
All right, Alan, listen.

2029
01:20:44,083 --> 01:20:46,458
When you said you were my brother,
I panicked.

2030
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:48,666
I thought you was trying
to take Mother from me.

2031
01:20:48,750 --> 01:20:49,875
Oh, baby.

2032
01:20:49,958 --> 01:20:51,791
So, why would you come along?

2033
01:20:51,875 --> 01:20:53,875
When I found out
there was more of you...

2034
01:20:53,958 --> 01:20:54,958
Well, "us"...

2035
01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:56,541
I had to see for myself.

2036
01:20:57,000 --> 01:20:58,000
And, well...

2037
01:20:58,125 --> 01:20:59,708
since we hit the road together,

2038
01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:02,208
I've done things
I've only seen on television.

2039
01:21:03,083 --> 01:21:04,083
[sighs]

2040
01:21:04,375 --> 01:21:05,375
Alan...

2041
01:21:05,833 --> 01:21:07,291
these past few days...

2042
01:21:07,791 --> 01:21:09,458
were the greatest of my life.

2043
01:21:10,166 --> 01:21:13,166
[inhales deeply] And I know
I'm not the family that you wanted...

2044
01:21:13,958 --> 01:21:15,541
But you're the family I got.

2045
01:21:16,166 --> 01:21:17,166
Wow.

2046
01:21:17,583 --> 01:21:20,166
This remind me
of all those classic sitcom finales.

2047
01:21:20,250 --> 01:21:23,083
[inhales deeply]
Make you feel all warm and tingly inside.

2048
01:21:23,541 --> 01:21:24,541
[laughs]

2049
01:21:26,583 --> 01:21:27,583
Bros?

2050
01:21:28,791 --> 01:21:29,791
Bros.

2051
01:21:31,583 --> 01:21:32,666
[Lynette] Look at my baby.

2052
01:21:32,750 --> 01:21:35,958
I'm so glad y'all made up, 'cause I was
about to make y'all kiss on the mouth.

2053
01:21:36,500 --> 01:21:38,583
- That's how we do.
- I want a kiss on the mouth.

2054
01:21:38,666 --> 01:21:40,833
Well, Mom, I guess if I'm gonna have
a first kiss,

2055
01:21:40,916 --> 01:21:42,541
- why not it be Alan?
- No!

2056
01:21:42,625 --> 01:21:45,145
I always thought it was gonna be
with Tootie from Facts of Life.

2057
01:21:45,208 --> 01:21:47,368
- [cell phone vibrates]
- I never thought my first kiss

2058
01:21:47,416 --> 01:21:49,458
- would be with my brother. Ready?
- Excuse me.

2059
01:21:49,583 --> 01:21:51,083
Marie. You're not gonna believe this,

2060
01:21:51,166 --> 01:21:53,486
but I was on my way home,
and I got kidnapped. Crazy, ri...

2061
01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:55,125
- [Marie] My water broke.
- Your what?

2062
01:21:55,416 --> 01:21:56,791
My water broke!

2063
01:21:56,875 --> 01:21:58,750
[stammers] You gotta get to the hospital.

2064
01:21:58,833 --> 01:22:02,541
I got you a long t-shirt that says,
"Mom Hair, Don't Care."

2065
01:22:02,625 --> 01:22:04,705
All I need is some weed
'cause I'm a little stressed.

2066
01:22:04,750 --> 01:22:07,750
Alan, get back here! Do you hear me?

2067
01:22:07,833 --> 01:22:09,083
I'm havin' the baby!

2068
01:22:09,166 --> 01:22:10,416
[yells] Get back here!

2069
01:22:10,500 --> 01:22:11,875
- [line disconnects]
- O-Okay.

2070
01:22:14,291 --> 01:22:15,291
It's Marie.

2071
01:22:15,458 --> 01:22:16,500
She's in labor.

2072
01:22:16,833 --> 01:22:17,875
The baby's comin'!

2073
01:22:17,958 --> 01:22:18,833
- Oh, wow!
- Yippee!

2074
01:22:18,916 --> 01:22:20,750
Lord, God is good. I'm gonna be a grandma!

2075
01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:22,875
I'm gonna be an uncle! Uncle Russell.

2076
01:22:23,291 --> 01:22:24,291
Terrible name.

2077
01:22:24,500 --> 01:22:25,666
Hey, Alan.

2078
01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,041
Take my car.

2079
01:22:28,875 --> 01:22:29,875
Thanks...

2080
01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:30,958
bro.

2081
01:22:31,041 --> 01:22:33,375
I'll stay with Mother. Maybe get that hug.

2082
01:22:33,833 --> 01:22:35,875
Oh, that's so sweet of you, baby.

2083
01:22:35,958 --> 01:22:38,000
If you scratch it, I'll kill ya.

2084
01:22:39,375 --> 01:22:41,458
[laughs] I was just joshin'.

2085
01:22:41,541 --> 01:22:42,750
[laughs]

2086
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:43,833
No, I'm not.

2087
01:22:44,166 --> 01:22:45,958
Come on, Alan. Let's ride!

2088
01:22:46,041 --> 01:22:47,291
Come on, Russell. Come on!

2089
01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:48,208
- Bye, Mom!
- Bye, Mom!

2090
01:22:48,291 --> 01:22:51,171
And make sure you change your underwear.
You know you got that high-wipe!

2091
01:22:55,666 --> 01:22:57,250
Oh, shit!

2092
01:22:57,333 --> 01:23:02,583
A gold 1976 Pontiac Firebird Esprit!

2093
01:23:02,666 --> 01:23:04,500
The same one driven in...

2094
01:23:04,583 --> 01:23:06,541
[both] The Rockford Files!

2095
01:23:08,958 --> 01:23:10,958
- Come on, Russell. Let's go.
- No, Alan.

2096
01:23:13,375 --> 01:23:14,708
I'll drive.

2097
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:17,333
[keys jangling]

2098
01:23:18,541 --> 01:23:20,083
[scatting]

2099
01:23:21,041 --> 01:23:21,875
Hood slide!

2100
01:23:21,958 --> 01:23:23,583
[grunting]

2101
01:23:23,666 --> 01:23:24,666
Russell!

2102
01:23:25,291 --> 01:23:26,125
I'm okay.

2103
01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:27,250
What are you doing?

2104
01:23:27,625 --> 01:23:29,125
I always wanted to do that.

2105
01:23:29,500 --> 01:23:30,875
You're on the wrong side.

2106
01:23:30,958 --> 01:23:31,958
Oh.

2107
01:23:37,166 --> 01:23:38,166
Buckle up.

2108
01:23:38,958 --> 01:23:40,875
'Cause we're about to take off!

2109
01:23:40,958 --> 01:23:42,375
[engine turns over]

2110
01:23:42,458 --> 01:23:44,458
[tires squeal]

2111
01:23:47,833 --> 01:23:49,041
Sorry, Miss Gallagher!

2112
01:23:51,958 --> 01:23:52,833
[accelerates]

2113
01:23:52,916 --> 01:23:54,708
Keep it between the lines, Russell!

2114
01:23:54,916 --> 01:23:57,708
Yeah, well, there's only so much
you could learn from a manual, Alan.

2115
01:24:11,833 --> 01:24:13,250
[tires squeal]

2116
01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:18,083
[tires skid]

2117
01:24:18,166 --> 01:24:19,500
Go around. Go around 'em!

2118
01:24:19,583 --> 01:24:20,666
[tires squeal]

2119
01:24:23,375 --> 01:24:25,500
- [siren wails]
- Uh-oh! Here comes the fuzz.

2120
01:24:25,583 --> 01:24:27,000
Russell, go! Go, go, go!

2121
01:24:27,083 --> 01:24:28,333
[siren wailing]

2122
01:24:28,416 --> 01:24:29,333
[tires skid]

2123
01:24:29,416 --> 01:24:30,791
[accelerating]

2124
01:24:30,875 --> 01:24:32,583
["Two Dragons" plays]

2125
01:24:32,666 --> 01:24:35,083
Don't worry, Alan.
They'll never take us alive!

2126
01:24:35,166 --> 01:24:36,208
That's the idea! Let's go!

2127
01:24:36,291 --> 01:24:39,750
Well, they won't take you alive,
but I'm gonna surrender. Sorry.

2128
01:24:41,583 --> 01:24:42,583
[tires squeal]

2129
01:24:43,125 --> 01:24:44,833
[siren wailing]

2130
01:24:44,916 --> 01:24:46,333
[accelerates]

2131
01:24:46,791 --> 01:24:48,500
[tires skidding]

2132
01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:50,166
[tires squeal]

2133
01:24:50,250 --> 01:24:51,333
Hold on, Alan!

2134
01:24:52,208 --> 01:24:54,041
- Aah!
- [tires skidding]

2135
01:24:54,125 --> 01:24:55,416
[accelerates]

2136
01:24:55,500 --> 01:24:56,625
Watch out, coming through!

2137
01:24:56,708 --> 01:24:57,908
- [tires skid]
- Watch the car!

2138
01:24:59,708 --> 01:25:00,625
- [Alan] Oh!
- Move!

2139
01:25:00,708 --> 01:25:01,708
[tires skid]

2140
01:25:01,750 --> 01:25:04,208
Alan, all these cars
are going the wrong way!

2141
01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:05,583
No, you're goin' the wrong way!

2142
01:25:06,125 --> 01:25:07,333
- [tires skid]
- [screams]

2143
01:25:07,625 --> 01:25:08,458
My bad!

2144
01:25:08,541 --> 01:25:09,708
[tires squeal]

2145
01:25:10,625 --> 01:25:13,250
This is like Dukes of Hazzard
without the racist car.

2146
01:25:16,333 --> 01:25:18,166
[tires squeal]

2147
01:25:21,750 --> 01:25:23,875
- All right, Alan. Hospital's coming up!
- Okay.

2148
01:25:26,333 --> 01:25:29,083
I'm gonna slow down a little,
and I need you to tuck and roll.

2149
01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,375
What? You want me
to jump out of a moving car?

2150
01:25:31,458 --> 01:25:33,583
It worked for Jim Rockford every time!

2151
01:25:33,666 --> 01:25:34,666
I ain't Rockford!

2152
01:25:34,750 --> 01:25:36,416
[tires skid]

2153
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:37,666
[accelerating]

2154
01:25:37,750 --> 01:25:39,208
Now, do it! Go!

2155
01:25:40,541 --> 01:25:42,375
- [Alan screams]
- Whoo!

2156
01:25:42,625 --> 01:25:43,458
[grunts]

2157
01:25:43,541 --> 01:25:44,375
Oh!

2158
01:25:44,458 --> 01:25:45,875
It worked. [groans]

2159
01:25:46,083 --> 01:25:47,166
[tires skid]

2160
01:25:47,458 --> 01:25:48,541
[tires squeal]

2161
01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:52,708
Not today, fuzz.

2162
01:25:53,291 --> 01:25:55,333
[accelerating]

2163
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:56,583
[gasps]

2164
01:25:56,666 --> 01:25:57,750
[tires skidding]

2165
01:25:57,833 --> 01:25:59,125
Aah!

2166
01:26:00,791 --> 01:26:01,916
[tires squeal]

2167
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:04,375
That was a J-turn! I did a J-turn!

2168
01:26:04,458 --> 01:26:05,458
Go!

2169
01:26:07,333 --> 01:26:08,583
[siren wailing]

2170
01:26:09,500 --> 01:26:10,916
[tires skid]

2171
01:26:11,000 --> 01:26:12,750
Eat my dust, copper!

2172
01:26:13,250 --> 01:26:14,416
[tires squeal]

2173
01:26:15,458 --> 01:26:17,625
[siren wails]

2174
01:26:18,500 --> 01:26:19,916
[tires squeal]

2175
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,333
[panting] I'm looking for my wife,
Marie Daniels?

2176
01:26:22,416 --> 01:26:23,576
- Right in there.
- Thank you.

2177
01:26:23,625 --> 01:26:24,625
Mm-hmm.

2178
01:26:24,916 --> 01:26:26,356
[Ethan] Doc, you got the good angle.

2179
01:26:26,416 --> 01:26:28,041
Alan! Glad you could join us.

2180
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,125
Alan!

2181
01:26:29,166 --> 01:26:31,375
- Baby's a little early, but it looks good.
- Oh!

2182
01:26:31,458 --> 01:26:33,041
Your brother's been a big help.

2183
01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:34,833
Ethan?

2184
01:26:34,916 --> 01:26:36,716
- What's up, bro?
- You're doing great, Marie.

2185
01:26:36,791 --> 01:26:37,625
Keep breathing.

2186
01:26:37,708 --> 01:26:39,666
Wow! The resemblance is...

2187
01:26:40,791 --> 01:26:42,500
[both] uncanny.

2188
01:26:42,916 --> 01:26:44,708
Man, we look just alike!

2189
01:26:45,083 --> 01:26:46,958
I mean, if somebody just...
[inhales sharply]

2190
01:26:47,041 --> 01:26:48,583
sucked all the cool out of me,

2191
01:26:48,666 --> 01:26:50,291
and I was a law-abiding citizen,

2192
01:26:50,583 --> 01:26:51,958
and I didn't kick puppies,

2193
01:26:52,208 --> 01:26:54,416
- or try to drown goldfish.
- [Marie] Hey!

2194
01:26:54,791 --> 01:26:57,875
- I'm having a baby here. If you could...
- Oh, hey. Hey, honey.

2195
01:26:57,958 --> 01:26:59,208
- Baby.
- [PA beeps] Code Red.

2196
01:26:59,291 --> 01:27:00,625
- Code Red.
- Hi, baby.

2197
01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:03,125
Labor and Delivery is locked down
under police order.

2198
01:27:03,208 --> 01:27:06,541
Okay. Not to make it weird,
but I'mma need you to speed things up.

2199
01:27:07,000 --> 01:27:09,500
I may be spendin' the first year
of the baby's life in prison.

2200
01:27:09,583 --> 01:27:10,500
- What?
- No biggie.

2201
01:27:10,583 --> 01:27:12,143
- No biggie. It's okay, baby.
- [groans]

2202
01:27:13,375 --> 01:27:15,416
Damn. It's the po-po.

2203
01:27:15,500 --> 01:27:16,500
Fo sho-sho.

2204
01:27:17,375 --> 01:27:18,916
Why is the po-po after you?

2205
01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:22,000
Uh, speeding, reckless driving,
possible vehicular assault.

2206
01:27:22,583 --> 01:27:23,833
We was in a high-speed chase.

2207
01:27:23,916 --> 01:27:26,375
Oh! [laughs] Respects, my G.

2208
01:27:26,458 --> 01:27:28,291
- What?
- It's okay, we got away.

2209
01:27:28,375 --> 01:27:29,250
Well, almost.

2210
01:27:29,333 --> 01:27:31,000
- [door rattles]
- [Marie groans]

2211
01:27:31,083 --> 01:27:32,416
You know what? Look here.

2212
01:27:32,958 --> 01:27:35,875
You gotta be here for Marie and that baby.

2213
01:27:37,375 --> 01:27:38,541
I'mma need your pants.

2214
01:27:39,041 --> 01:27:40,083
My pants?

2215
01:27:40,916 --> 01:27:42,876
[woman] You are doing so good.
You're doing great.

2216
01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:43,958
Hey, Ethan.

2217
01:27:44,208 --> 01:27:46,708
Thank you so much, man.
I really appreciate this.

2218
01:27:46,791 --> 01:27:49,166
Hey, man. Ain't no thang
but a chicken wang.

2219
01:27:49,375 --> 01:27:50,375
We family, right?

2220
01:27:50,750 --> 01:27:52,791
Hey, about that partnership at work?

2221
01:27:53,291 --> 01:27:54,208
You welcome.

2222
01:27:54,291 --> 01:27:55,458
[snickers]

2223
01:27:55,541 --> 01:27:57,000
[sucks teeth] You feel me?

2224
01:27:58,791 --> 01:28:00,791
Oh! Gross.

2225
01:28:01,083 --> 01:28:02,958
- Hey, hey.
- [shuddering breaths]

2226
01:28:03,041 --> 01:28:05,250
- [Marie] Hi, baby.
- Hey, Ponch! John!

2227
01:28:05,541 --> 01:28:07,291
Come get your boy. Come on.

2228
01:28:07,375 --> 01:28:09,416
- [grunts]
- [both] Oh!

2229
01:28:09,500 --> 01:28:10,541
[yells]

2230
01:28:10,625 --> 01:28:12,541
Okay. Oh, hey, hey. Hey, okay, okay.

2231
01:28:12,625 --> 01:28:14,875
- [deep breaths]
- Okay, I'm here. Listen, listen.

2232
01:28:14,958 --> 01:28:16,500
I just want to say I'm so sorry.

2233
01:28:16,583 --> 01:28:18,500
Okay, I got so caught up
meetin' my new family,

2234
01:28:18,583 --> 01:28:21,500
I forgot to appreciate
the one I have right here at home.

2235
01:28:21,666 --> 01:28:23,833
I will never do it again, I promise.

2236
01:28:23,916 --> 01:28:25,916
I'm pretty sure when the drugs wear off,

2237
01:28:26,125 --> 01:28:29,500
I'm gonna be so mad at you,
and I'mma wanna bang you in the face.

2238
01:28:29,583 --> 01:28:31,583
[crying] But I'm just so happy
to have you here.

2239
01:28:31,666 --> 01:28:33,041
Always. Always.

2240
01:28:33,458 --> 01:28:35,125
All right, Marie. I can see the head.

2241
01:28:35,208 --> 01:28:36,416
Just give me one more push.

2242
01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:38,267
- Okay. Okay.
- Ready? Come on, we'll breathe.

2243
01:28:38,291 --> 01:28:39,541
One, two, three.

2244
01:28:39,625 --> 01:28:40,750
[deep breaths]

2245
01:28:40,833 --> 01:28:41,666
- Push!
- Come on.

2246
01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:44,166
[yells]

2247
01:28:45,333 --> 01:28:47,083
[hip hop plays]

2248
01:28:49,791 --> 01:28:51,166
[people chattering]

2249
01:28:56,666 --> 01:28:59,416
[Russell] I watch a lot
of Murder, She Wrote on this new iPad.

2250
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:01,833
- Hey, Douglas.
- It's like having a TV in your pocket.

2251
01:29:01,916 --> 01:29:03,083
Babies, be careful!

2252
01:29:03,166 --> 01:29:05,958
Now, you know there's avocado
in that nine-month layer dip.

2253
01:29:06,041 --> 01:29:08,333
- I knew it. I knew it.
- [spitting]

2254
01:29:08,750 --> 01:29:10,166
- [retches]
- That is just nasty.

2255
01:29:10,250 --> 01:29:11,083
What the hell?

2256
01:29:11,166 --> 01:29:12,000
Gross.

2257
01:29:12,083 --> 01:29:14,625
And why the hell
is there nine layers in a dip?

2258
01:29:14,708 --> 01:29:17,208
Everybody know
dip only supposed to have seven layers.

2259
01:29:17,291 --> 01:29:18,125
[Dawn] True.

2260
01:29:18,208 --> 01:29:20,726
- After that, you just repeating.
- Worse than being waterboarded.

2261
01:29:20,750 --> 01:29:21,875
That's white people dip.

2262
01:29:21,958 --> 01:29:25,000
Now, Ethan, hush your mouth.
You know these negroes are bougie.

2263
01:29:25,083 --> 01:29:27,250
And Russell, you be careful.
It makes you colic-y.

2264
01:29:27,333 --> 01:29:28,458
- [Dawn] Eww.
- Okay, Mom.

2265
01:29:28,541 --> 01:29:30,000
[Dawn] Why you wearing corduroy?

2266
01:29:30,083 --> 01:29:32,458
- You make my balls stink.
- [Russell] Stop, Dawn.

2267
01:29:32,791 --> 01:29:35,500
- I want to play Candy Land.
- Welcome to Wakanda!

2268
01:29:35,583 --> 01:29:36,791
[laughs]

2269
01:29:37,208 --> 01:29:40,833
[stammers] Uh, baby, I think
I should do somethin' about the dip.

2270
01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:42,916
Who doesn't like avocado?

2271
01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:44,333
Oh, that's a family trait.

2272
01:29:44,625 --> 01:29:46,250
[chuckles] That's right, baby.

2273
01:29:46,541 --> 01:29:47,541
I'll help you, Mom.

2274
01:29:47,625 --> 01:29:48,875
- Want to take her?
- Yeah.

2275
01:29:49,291 --> 01:29:50,833
- She's all yours.
- I got her.

2276
01:29:50,916 --> 01:29:52,875
[Ethan] Hey, where the Domino's at?

2277
01:29:52,958 --> 01:29:55,118
What kind of black barbecue
ain't got no damn Domino's?

2278
01:29:55,166 --> 01:29:58,086
Looks like I brought a little bit more
to the table than you thought, huh?

2279
01:29:58,125 --> 01:30:00,291
Well, a couple of 'em
look like they should be in jail.

2280
01:30:00,375 --> 01:30:01,416
- Hey, man!
- Candy Land!

2281
01:30:01,500 --> 01:30:02,500
Yes, let's do this!

2282
01:30:02,541 --> 01:30:03,666
[all speaking indistinctly]

2283
01:30:03,750 --> 01:30:05,041
[Alan chuckles]

2284
01:30:05,416 --> 01:30:08,333
Should be? A couple of them have been.

2285
01:30:09,083 --> 01:30:11,333
But you know what? That's my family.

2286
01:30:12,125 --> 01:30:15,833
And I'm gonna teach this little girl
to love her family unconditionally.

2287
01:30:15,916 --> 01:30:17,000
[baby coos]

2288
01:30:19,416 --> 01:30:22,541
Bro, I just want to thank you
from the bottom of my heart

2289
01:30:22,625 --> 01:30:24,291
for what you did for this family.

2290
01:30:24,375 --> 01:30:26,625
- You gonna be an amazing daddy.
- Thank you.

2291
01:30:26,708 --> 01:30:28,375
Even though our father wasn't shit.

2292
01:30:28,750 --> 01:30:30,916
Aw, thanks, Dawn.
That was almost emotional.

2293
01:30:31,375 --> 01:30:34,125
Now, as for you, Uncle Ben.

2294
01:30:34,208 --> 01:30:37,250
Let me tell you somethin'.
I don't care what kind of judge you are,

2295
01:30:37,333 --> 01:30:39,583
Judge Judy, Judge Reinhold,

2296
01:30:39,666 --> 01:30:40,875
Ashley Judge,

2297
01:30:40,958 --> 01:30:42,833
it don't make no difference to me.

2298
01:30:42,916 --> 01:30:45,625
Don't be throwin' shade
at my brother, okay?

2299
01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:47,875
'Cause I don't mind goin' to jail.

2300
01:30:47,958 --> 01:30:50,916
- I like jail.
- Uh, easy there, easy now.

2301
01:30:53,083 --> 01:30:54,250
For life, bro.

2302
01:30:55,875 --> 01:30:56,875
For life.

2303
01:30:57,541 --> 01:30:59,083
- For life, sis.
- That's how we do.

2304
01:30:59,458 --> 01:31:01,416
- Look at me. I'm watchin' you.
- [grunts]

2305
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:05,916
I-I think she just threatened me, Alan.

2306
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:07,875
Oh, that sounded more like a promise.

2307
01:31:08,125 --> 01:31:10,500
[chuckles]
You want me to tell her back off?

2308
01:31:10,583 --> 01:31:12,666
Well, if you would be so kind. I mean...

2309
01:31:12,750 --> 01:31:14,083
Are you askin' me for a favor?

2310
01:31:14,166 --> 01:31:17,166
- Uh... what?
- You know, 'cause it sounded like a favor.

2311
01:31:17,250 --> 01:31:19,958
Oh, no. Just... just a gesture,
a kind gesture on your part.

2312
01:31:20,041 --> 01:31:22,375
Well, if you're askin' me for a favor,
I'd like to hear it.

2313
01:31:22,458 --> 01:31:23,500
[stammering]

2314
01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:24,416
Dawn!

2315
01:31:24,500 --> 01:31:26,791
As a favor to me,
would you ask her to back off, Alan?

2316
01:31:26,875 --> 01:31:28,541
[chuckles]

2317
01:31:28,625 --> 01:31:29,625
I got you.

2318
01:31:29,666 --> 01:31:31,291
Hey, Alan! Quick, come here!

2319
01:31:31,375 --> 01:31:33,458
Baby Pete wants to say "hi" to his niece.

2320
01:31:33,750 --> 01:31:35,375
And you could say "hi" to your kidney.

2321
01:31:35,458 --> 01:31:37,618
Come on, bring that little nappyhead baby
on over here!

2322
01:31:37,666 --> 01:31:38,708
Oh, leave that baby alone.

2323
01:31:38,791 --> 01:31:42,166
- All right, I'm comin', I'm comin'!
- Wait, wait, let me... Let me hold her.

2324
01:31:42,708 --> 01:31:44,583
- Give my regards to Peter.
- Hi, Pee-pee!

2325
01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:45,666
Hey, Pee-pee.

2326
01:31:46,083 --> 01:31:48,958
Aw, man, she got my face.

2327
01:31:49,041 --> 01:31:50,166
Yeah, and your height.

2328
01:31:50,250 --> 01:31:52,166
[all laugh]

2329
01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:53,541
Salud!

2330
01:31:54,375 --> 01:31:55,208
[slurping]

2331
01:31:55,291 --> 01:31:57,041
Are you drinking with my kidney?

2332
01:31:57,125 --> 01:32:00,000
Oh, get over it, Alan.
You ain't gettin' it back!

2333
01:32:00,083 --> 01:32:01,083
I'mma take it back.

2334
01:32:01,125 --> 01:32:03,041
Oh, you got to find me first!

2335
01:32:03,125 --> 01:32:04,583
[all laugh]

2336
01:32:04,666 --> 01:32:07,083
I know exactly where he's at.
His coordinates are right here.

2337
01:32:07,166 --> 01:32:09,333
I've a drone in the area.
Want me to send in a strike?

2338
01:32:09,416 --> 01:32:11,541
- I will, I could do it.
- Hey, Mama.

2339
01:32:12,541 --> 01:32:13,666
Oh, my Lord.

2340
01:32:14,291 --> 01:32:15,541
Is that my Baby Pete?

2341
01:32:15,833 --> 01:32:17,041
Hey, Mama!

2342
01:32:18,041 --> 01:32:21,458
Got all my babies together
at the same time?

2343
01:32:21,541 --> 01:32:24,041
Oh, Lord heard my prayer. [sniffles]

2344
01:32:24,125 --> 01:32:27,125
I went to church Sunday through Wednesday
for this moment.

2345
01:32:27,208 --> 01:32:28,416
[all] Mama! Mama!

2346
01:32:28,500 --> 01:32:31,458
Mama's good now. Mama's good.
I'm just overwhelmed with emotion.

2347
01:32:31,541 --> 01:32:33,333
If she dies, I get the jewelry.

2348
01:32:33,416 --> 01:32:35,416
She's just feelin' the spirit of the Lord.

2349
01:32:35,500 --> 01:32:37,666
I'm gettin' emotional here. [sniffles]

2350
01:32:37,750 --> 01:32:40,333
[humming]

2351
01:32:40,416 --> 01:32:41,958
Family photo time, y'all!

2352
01:32:42,083 --> 01:32:45,291
If it's not on the 'Gram, it's a scam!

2353
01:32:45,750 --> 01:32:47,666
Now, come on, babies. Come on.

2354
01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:49,500
Ow!

2355
01:32:49,541 --> 01:32:50,541
Thank you.

2356
01:32:50,625 --> 01:32:51,875
What'd you hit me for?

2357
01:32:52,208 --> 01:32:54,375
It's not nice. I'm tellin' Mother.

2358
01:32:54,458 --> 01:32:56,291
Mother! Ethan hit me!

2359
01:32:56,791 --> 01:32:58,625
I hate having brothers and sisters.

2360
01:32:59,166 --> 01:33:00,916
I want to be an only child again!

2361
01:33:01,208 --> 01:33:03,625
Bring it on in, fam. Bring it on in.

2362
01:33:04,041 --> 01:33:05,791
Russell, Russell, pay attention.

2363
01:33:05,875 --> 01:33:08,416
I want to see everybody in there.
Miss Lynette, bring it in.

2364
01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:11,017
This reminds me of the school picture
episode of Eight Is Enough

2365
01:33:11,041 --> 01:33:13,541
- where a young Nicholas Bradford...
- [all] Shut the hell up!

2366
01:33:13,625 --> 01:33:14,625
Hush!

2367
01:33:14,833 --> 01:33:16,000
[Dawn groans]

2368
01:33:16,083 --> 01:33:17,083
You shut up.

2369
01:33:17,541 --> 01:33:18,541
Not you, Mom.

2370
01:33:18,916 --> 01:33:22,125
Okay, on three, two, one...

2371
01:33:22,541 --> 01:33:24,041
- Family!
- [blows raspberry]

2372
01:33:24,208 --> 01:33:25,125
["My House" plays]

2373
01:33:25,208 --> 01:33:26,833
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2374
01:33:26,916 --> 01:33:29,333
♪ Baby, take control now ♪

2375
01:33:29,416 --> 01:33:31,833
♪ We can't even slow down ♪

2376
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:34,750
♪ We don't have to go out ♪

2377
01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:40,500
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2378
01:33:43,458 --> 01:33:45,708
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2379
01:33:46,291 --> 01:33:49,583
♪ Morning comes
And you know that you wanna stay ♪

2380
01:33:51,458 --> 01:33:54,833
♪ Close the blinds
Let's pretend that the time has changed ♪

2381
01:33:56,583 --> 01:33:59,833
♪ Keep our clothes on the floor
Open up champagne ♪

2382
01:34:01,666 --> 01:34:04,666
♪ Let's continue tonight
Come on, celebrate ♪

2383
01:34:04,750 --> 01:34:08,000
- ♪ That's how we do it ♪
- ♪ Sometimes you gotta stay in, in ♪

2384
01:34:08,083 --> 01:34:10,166
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2385
01:34:10,250 --> 01:34:12,791
- ♪ Baby, take control now ♪
- ♪ Now ♪

2386
01:34:12,875 --> 01:34:15,208
♪ We can't even slow down ♪

2387
01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:18,041
♪ We don't have to go out ♪

2388
01:34:18,250 --> 01:34:20,416
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2389
01:34:20,500 --> 01:34:22,916
- ♪ Play that music too loud ♪
- ♪ Turn it up, turn it up ♪

2390
01:34:23,000 --> 01:34:25,541
- ♪ Show me what you do now ♪
- ♪ Show me now ♪

2391
01:34:25,625 --> 01:34:28,500
- ♪ We don't have to go out ♪
- ♪ Go out ♪

2392
01:34:28,791 --> 01:34:31,500
♪ Welcome to my duck off the crib
The spot, the pad ♪

2393
01:34:31,583 --> 01:34:34,250
♪ But my house is your house
If you throwin' it back ♪

2394
01:34:34,375 --> 01:34:36,541
♪ Excuse me if my home bringing the sad ♪

2395
01:34:36,625 --> 01:34:39,625
♪ Soon as these happy faces lay
You can run with the cash ♪

2396
01:34:39,708 --> 01:34:42,000
♪ Home run, slam dunk, touchdown, pass ♪

2397
01:34:42,083 --> 01:34:44,541
♪ Mi casa es tu casa
So it ain't no holding back ♪

2398
01:34:44,625 --> 01:34:47,125
♪ Another shot of vodka
You know what's in my glass ♪

2399
01:34:47,208 --> 01:34:48,833
♪ It's my house, just relax ♪

2400
01:34:48,916 --> 01:34:51,125
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2401
01:34:51,208 --> 01:34:53,541
- ♪ Play that music too loud ♪
- ♪ Turn it up ♪

2402
01:34:53,625 --> 01:34:56,208
♪ Show me what you do now ♪

2403
01:34:56,291 --> 01:34:59,166
- ♪ We don't have to go out ♪
- ♪ Go out ♪

2404
01:35:01,041 --> 01:35:02,601
♪ We ain't gotta go out, 'cause what? ♪

2405
01:35:02,666 --> 01:35:04,083
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2406
01:35:04,166 --> 01:35:05,833
♪ It's my house, my house ♪

2407
01:35:06,833 --> 01:35:07,750
♪ What? What? ♪

2408
01:35:07,833 --> 01:35:09,166
♪ Welcome to my house ♪

2409
01:35:09,250 --> 01:35:11,583
[echoing] ♪ It's my house ♪

2410
01:35:12,333 --> 01:35:14,208
[instrumental music plays]