Jumpchain Minion Roster

Jumpchain Minion Roster

Midgets
+Buffed up with all the magitech we have-runes, pre-Fall tech
+Make excellant throwing weapons
+Can self-replicate thanks to weird nanomachine/alchemy shit
+Psychological factor
+/-May or may not sometimes be large (see: Apocalypse Canceller production line)
-Can only store limited amounts
-Wholly physical beings, therefore greater risk of damage
-Not self aware, must write complex AIs to carry out missions

The Midgets

What started off as a funny gimmick has rapidly escalated to the point of being a cosmic threat on every world these things set foot on. The earliest of these entities started out as automatons created by Smithy’s Army, or mutated humans abducted from Borderlands. It matters not; their organic and mechanical components are almost indistinguishable at this point and they lack individual sentience. Below is a by no means conclusive list of augmentations for these throwing weapons of mass destruction.

-Seeds of Wrath (Command and Conquer: Tiberium+Starcraft): Within the warehouse is a hermetically sealed fleshy tree grown in a Tiberium field, releasing the substance in its natural form. With care, bulbs can be extracted from this tree and implanted into a canister within the midgets’ chest cavity. This cavity also contains a miniaturized refinery derived from Nod research; after 2 hours of incubating the sample each midget can release a splash of liquid Tiberium over approximately 20 square meters that instantly solidifies into its crystal form

-Orichalcum plating (Mysterious Cities of Gold+Age of Mythology): The metallic endoskeleton and exoskeleton of each midget is largely composed of an alloy from two types of Orichalcum bearing similar elemental compositions. The net effect is a metal much stronger than steel, light enough that midgets are capable of swimming through deep water and that enables them to recharge their onboard systems through solar power. Most importantly, the properties of orichalcum enable midgets to quickly repair damaged midgets as long as 60% of the original midget’s matter remains intact. Memo: Improve efficiency of energy transmission

-Retractable Stalk (Doctor Who+Wakfu+Clone Wars): Each midget has an in-built high energy weapon extending from their forehead. While the properties of dalekenium and dalek energy sources have proven impossible to replicate due to the circumstance of DW jump, blueprints enable the creation of a weapon drawing power directly from the stasis core within midgets, which uses a sophisticated targeting system to fire at an incredible rate with pinpoint position; all midget craniums have been improved to attain 360 degrees of rotation. Events during the Mass Effect indicated that only [REDACTED] shots were needed for a dozen midgets to neutralize a Reaper destroyer.

-Pseudo-T-Cog (Transformers): Given that midgets are small, the ability to transform into a realistically proportioned jet was deemed too cost-intensive to implement in the production line as a whole. Instead, this modified T-Cog not only enables the midgets to materialize inbuilt weaponry, but gradually improves or replaces said weaponry based on analysis of combat data and directives-up to and including armaments based on Covenant technology.  ADDENDUM: Alpha testing for sizeforming jet-midgets has commenced, midget fusion and more versatile shapeshifting has commenced

-Integrity Protecting Protocol (Dragon Age+Harry Potter+Warcraft+Type-MOON+Elder Scrolls+Dresden Files+LOTR+Dark Sun+Mahou Sensei Negima+Ravenloft+Bleach+Viking Jump+Mega Man X): This is less a single boon and more a complex series of enchantments sustained by a complex lyrium inscription incased in metal.  To cut a long story short, my midgets reduce the effect of oncoming magic and kiai anywhere between 50-90% and gain a little energy from each impact. An arcane protocol also enables them to overclock their systems, effectively a system resembling the 8 Gates that effectively doubles their powers with each surge at the cost of increasing hardware corrosion, with the 8th “gate” causing the midget to detonate in a magical nuke. The protocal’s secondary function enables acquired magical energy to charge projectile weapons. Also provides various improvements to their physical capabilities and effectively grants them unlimited ammunition

-Super Reinforcement (FMA+Soul Calibur+Type-MOON+Dresden Files): Everything works better. Everything. With the incorporation of two schools of alchemy, this is an immense boon to overall durability and efficiency.

-Prion Infusion (Resident Evil+Geneforge+Kill La Kill): The problem with mechanical parts is that they’re static, prone to rust and jamming at inconvenient moments. Not so with the TALOS virus: An infection that forms a symbiotic relationship with the midgets’ metallic compounds that slowly makes causes metal to take on fleshy aspects. Damaged components regenerate or seal themselves, circuits are insulated with machine-flesh against EMPs, detached components can regrow into more complex implements-the list goes on. Moreover, midgets are capable of exuding dormant life fibers in spools of sticky spider-like webbing or monofilament wires; the accumulated life fibers have also synchronized the midgets’ insensate central processing units-a collective unconsciousness, if you will-greatly improving group tactics and coordination.

-Righthandium (Raildex): At present, the properties of Imagine Breaker are little understood, although consensus holds that it is something more than an ordinary esper ability. The current hypothesis is that an energy field is emitted from the right hand storing this power, like a wifi router emitting a signal. However, repeated experimentation has yielded a mass-produced application: As my “right hand” was a right hand-shaped mass of tendrils at the time of receiving Imagine Breaker, isolating, modifying and replicating a single tendril was relatively simple. Each midget is now infused with a property that perfectly pierces supernatural effects, thanks to a biological component growing within them like a redundant nervous system.

-Stasis Core (Wakfu): Thanks to an intimate relationship with Sufokian high command I have acquired a set of schematics related to Stasis energy. Each midget is now equipped with a generator producing energy much more stable and efficient than most forms of cold fusion and in tandem with the pseudo-T-cog can produce at least one weapon harnessing it. The energy apparently embodies the concept of destruction and extinction. At any rate, it’s extremely effective against biological life.

-Nanomachine Repository (Iji): A small fabrication unit releases a strain of Iji-based nanomachines. Apart from cyberwarfare, hologram generation, attack reflection and other functions, the unit enables me to issue patches to the production line via a Warehouse-based network transmitted through an in-built IFF.

-Jetpacks (HALO+Goat Simulator): It's an inbuilt jetpack. It runs on midget poop. A fairly basic modification at this point-but very useful in terms of mobility.  Also doubles as a waste vent.

-Giant Midgets (Dark Souls+Viking Jump): (DATA EXPUNGED)

-TALOS Protocal (Minecraft): Midgets are already capable of autonomous self replication and modification. This programme shares with them the blueprints for various feets of engineering and construction, enabling the production of massive production lines, defensive structures and WMDs. This also equips them with near-diamond quality tools for combat engineering, teleportation and quantum armor

-Force Sustenance (Clone Wars): As of CLone Wars, my mechanical army no longer requires a source of energy for basic functioning thanks to the Force. More power can be diverted to enhancing weapons systems

-Tesla Arrays (Lovecraft): The midgets can shoot lightning AoE style. Look, I didn't have time to get to grips with the fancier stuff in Lovecraft Jump but I damn well made sure to track down Nicola Tesla in order to learn how to make lightning death rays

-Midget Scouter (Iji+PS238): It looks like a scouter. It lets midgets analyse any combat scenario, technology or supernatural element in seconds.

-Angelic Infusion (Bayonetta): Studies have shown that a thin layer of angelic biomass is all that is required to manifest the mechanical armor and weaponry of the Laguna. With this enhancement, the midgets have gain various supernatural properties-including flight, greater damage output against demonkind, subdimensional travel and energy manipulation-while remaining primarily machines

-Dust Knuckles (RWBY): Having analysed the magical applications of Dust in RWBY jump, all midgets are capable of limited usage of magic. More importantly, all midgets are capable of embuing existing weaponry with it, resulting in unconventional yet devastating attacks.

-Hardlight Shield Generators (Mass Effect+HAlO+Alchemy): Fairly self explanatory. Good old fashioned forcefields inscribed with sigils to ground magic without actually being magical

Cyberman Empire
+Self-aware and loyal
+Good at replication and information gathering
+Almost as many tech boons as the midgets. Think of Iron Man as a cyborg
-Follow from jump to jump, so always transition period to catch up
-Can be difficult to locate in new worlds
+As of Lone Wolf have been taught unified paradigm, making unexpected advances
+/-Thanks to the Grand Unified Theory of Alchemy, Vision-tier chassis are a thing. Unfortunately the energy requirements for those are /ridiculous/ and most effective operations require channeling energy from the Big Bang in a Can

Virtual Lifeforms
+As of Erfworld, constructed with innate probability alteration abilities
+Composed of Geneforge Necromancy augmented Song Magic inhabiting an avatar, natural phenomena or data-cluster. Most have intangibility/invisibility as a result
-Vulnerable to counter-magic/anti-magic
+Above weakness may or may not be rectified by using Fulmigati's magnum opus
+Come in variety of functions, from possessing machines to mental control to conjuration to evocation
-Must recharge/be produced at reverse engineered Song Towers; costly to set up the needed infrastructure
+As of Tales of Symphonia can manipulate/generate spiritual constructs
-Few of which are geared for close range combat
+Aesthetically pleasing
-Hard to explain what the hell these things are/what they do
+Well yeah, that's the point

Spirit Mantis Shrimps
+Punch things hard-can cast Fist
+Punch things fast-can cast Consecutive Serious Punches
+See the invisible, touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable
+Come in humanoid and kaiju sizes
-Not the most numerous option on this list
-Even ninja pact animals can die from physical wounds
-No range capabil-
+Pffft, just punch the air hard enough to do ki blasts!

The Outsiders: Bound Watchers, resurrected fal'cie
+We own their asses through magical bindings, Ensoulment and various other forms of control
+Bring a whole bunch of metaphysical knowledge to the table
+Powerful enough to be considered gods in their native realities
-Can't trust 'em
+/-Creepy motherfuckin' babies with teeth
+/-Etro-chan tries her best

Cabbit Reapers
+OP
+Stupidly OP
+Seriously-it's a gigantic FTL ship that can generate lightwings, has built-in pre-Fall superweapons for long range combat, gauss/antimatter weapons for broadsides, Precursortech for point defences and Evangelion implants to form into an adaptive main gun based off Necron Destroyer studies
+No seriously-Boomer physiology spliced with vajra, tonberry, Toriko monstrosities and every other scary biological thing out there
+Technological upgrades include mantra capabilities, necrodermis and adamantium-a biomechanical shell around the cabbits within
-Do you have any idea how long it takes to make one of these things?!

Hierarchy of Laguna
+Invisible/removed on a higher spiritual plane of existence, rendering them untouchable to many
+Come in infantry/heavy weapons/auxillary/siege weapon modes and more
+Hella summoning magic=lots of these guys, and boy howdy they have reserves
+Super effective against demon adversaries
+Many bring tremendous heavenly lore to the table
-Unless they're the huge badass kind of demon
+/-In general, tend to focus on teamwork and numbers rather than individual members being super stronk like the Demons of Inferno
+/-Efforts to reform Paradiso as a whole are ongoing
-Weapons are several centuries out of date

Neo-Endbringers
+Indomitable brute force minions born from universal singularities
+Programmed within specific mission parameters to avoid excessive collateral damage
+Condensed shell of nanomachines over a crystal gem-ified core-nigh invulnerable
+Customisable to a greater degree
-Expensive to make; only morally acceptable to construct on uninhabited planets
-Control means having to sacrifice a degree of flexibility of thought
-Not suitable for diplomatic missions

"Seraphs"
+Blazing 24/7, 420. Can literally vaporise solid ground
+Perceive us as their god, unbreakable loyalty on top of conduits for our divine powers
+Amorphous energy beings-nigh invulnerable
+Real Old Testament in terms of asskicking ability
+/-Production rate is dependant on us sitting around inside the purified Pyre of the Seraphic churning out oodles of Soulfire
-Not very flexible thinkers; when all you are is fire and will, you burn all your problems and use willpower to ignore any intervening obstacles
-Not very subtle-glowy angels of mass destruction

X Elementals
+Come in over 30 different flavours-nuclear, dark matter, gravity etc
+Codex Alera+Shadow Ops Elementalism: Summon two elementals at once, summon one elemental twice
+Unparalleled command of their innate force
-Presumably have elemental weaknesses too e.g. water elementals freeze easy, mud elementals bake in the sun, antimatter elementals fucking explode without resource-intensitive precautions
-Only slightly more subtle and flexible than the Seraphic Harbingers
-Holy shit the collateral damage yo

Principles of Innovation
+Can they build it?
+Yes they can
+In tune with the hivemind, can be used as relay nodes for psionic domination
+Always improving, all the time. Now with abnormal/Shard powers
+They're 5 dimensional spheres of otherworldly metals encasing crystalline energy lifeforms, there's not much out there that can hurt 'em
-Costly and time consuming to actually make one of these things
-Probably not a good idea to have loads around all the time

Psychedelic Mindworms
+Can do weird dream shit, make delusions that actually hurt people
+Synched up with our Planetary Subconsciousness hivemind
+Spliced for higher reproductive rate, larger size, ridiculous regen
-Kinda gross
+/-Spliced with fluffy caterpillar DNA in attempt to make less gross
-Kinda not good at kicking ass physically
+Splicing in Terran psionic potential, prototype, giant sponge and zerg DNA to make up for that

Spiders
+Conduct Hamon
+Small and compact
+As of Age of Ice can use Mother's template to splice 'em HUGER
+/-Come in demon and golden form
+/-Can also uplift local spider population into loyal GIFTSs
-Generally can't get many of 'em, mostly useful for covert ops
-Webs get everywhere mang

Pink Tide
+All companions, all subject to Pentakai Bench
+Can do wizard shit yo. Can also generate forcefields with the power of nature spirits, purify the crap out of anything and summon giant white dragons
+Multiple broken 3.5 multiclassing-and also Warblades. Iron Heart Surge ain't nothing to fuck with
+Can use the force
+As of MGNQ can actually do magical girl things
+As of BatGat, they Cylons now
+/-May or may not be manipulating us with kawaii eyes (which is ridiculous, they should be magical women by now...)
-Limited to jumps allowing all companion imports, otherwise gotta make our own Pink Tide with Scifi Magical Girls Project
-Can't do evil shit in their presence, they're too good at guilt tripping
-Every single goddamn time they show up, first action is massive group hug