Shear Ecstasy (FMM) (comedy)

Shear Ecstasy
[FMM4A] [GWAlloween] [knifeplay] [comedy] [Edward Scissorhands] [Freddy Krueger] [ruining childhood memories] [everyone needs a hobby] [kissing] [potatoes?] [shop talk] [gratuitous violence] [non-gratuitous violence] [careful who you play with]

There's nothing like finding the right partners to help explore your kink (and/or your weird little hobby). You know how it is - it's all fun and games until things go terribly wrong... or terribly right.

Parts:
woman way too into knifeplay - u/Sly-Raconteur
Guy with Edward Scissorhands blades - u/HornyHeart
Guy with Freddy Krueger glove - u/Lord_Bartex
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(kissing)

WOMAN: Oh, this is so hot.

(kissing)

WOMAN: Mmmm. I have a good feeling about this. All right. All set to be my Edward Scissorhands?

EDDIE: Ahh, ok. You're sure about this?

[snipping noises]

EDDIE: I'll be careful.

WOMAN: Yeah, I'm sure. Here. Let me feel those. (sigh) Ooooh. How do you even find these things?

EDDIE: Well actually, it's sort of a hobby of mine. Knives and blades, I mean. But I still needed some help putting these together. You never know what's out there on Craigslist until you start asking...

WOMAN: (laugh) (kiss) Thanks. I know it's a pretty weird kink, but this is *really* my thing. (sigh) Mmmmm. I can hardly believe you were both willing to play along. I've been so looking forward to this.

EDDIE: Oh, nothing wrong with a little role playing. You know I like trying something new.

[knocking at door]

WOMAN: And that has to be our Freddy Krueger. Be right back.

[footsteps / door opening - voices a bit faint]

WOMAN: Hi!

FREDDY: Well, hello. (kiss) Good to see you again.

WOMAN: Oh, *that*'s a nice set of blades. I like it. (laugh) Ready to get kinky?

[footsteps as they get back to normal volume]

FREDDY: And I see you're set to go, huh? I think I've been getting a good grip on how to handle these...

WOMAN: (getting turned on) Yeah, I'm liking the look of those things. Hmm, do you think you could use them to slice potatoes?

FREDDY: Potatoes?

WOMAN: Later. Here we are....

EDDIE: Hello.

FREDDY: Hi again. (whistle) Hey, nice scissors you got.

EDDIE: Thanks. I'd offer to shake, but... (laugh)

WOMAN: It's just right, isn't it? Come here. I want to feel them *all*.

EDDIE: As long as you're ready...

WOMAN: Oh yes. This isn't my first knifeplay rodeo.

EDDIE: Do you even use knives in a rodeo?

WOMAN: Shut up. (kiss)

FREDDY: That's right. Here. How's this....

WOMAN: (gasp) Yesss.

EDDIE: That looks *nice* and sharp. Hmmm. Steel?

FREDDY: Yeah. I got lucky finding a set of these all together.

EDDIE: Huh, that's pretty nice. Looks like better quality than I'm used to, actually. Where did you...

WOMAN: Come on, are you going to use those?

EDDIE: Right, right.

[snipping]

WOMAN: Ooooohhh. Yes. We should get this shirt out of the way...

EDDIE: It's so hard to find a decent seller out there. Get a good deal?

FREDDY: Yeah. Pretty good for what it is. I mean, of course the quality stuff isn't cheap.

WOMAN: Hey. Anyone want to help me here?

FREDDY: Sure. You want to see how sharp these are?

WOMAN: (excited) *Yes*. Come on over to the bed.

EDDIE: Now the sharpness is *so* hard to get right. I used to struggle with a bench grinder...

FREDDY: Oh man, I'm telling you, sharpening by hand is the best way to go. Hand and stone. Check this out.

[slicing through shirt]

WOMAN: Oh *yeah*. Let me feel it.

FREDDY: Where? Your back?

WOMAN: (breathy) Mmmmmmmm, yes.

EDDIE: Close your eyes...

WOMAN: Mmmmm.

[snipping]

FREDDY: Damn, those are some slick hinges. How'd you do that?

WOMAN: What?

EDDIE: Now that part took some help, actually. I found someone who knew how to attach the joints and springs. He really got the angling on these *just* right.

[snipping]

FREDDY: Wow. That's *amazing*.

WOMAN: (flatly) Really?

EDDIE: The little details are just so important, you know?

FREDDY: Yeah, I know. Wow. It's great you understand. This is kind of a weird hobby. I just... I've never met someone who really *gets* it.

EDDIE: (softly) I know just what you mean.

WOMAN: What. The fuck.

FREDDY: And they move so smoothly. I mean, that gliding action...

[snipping]

EDDIE: It's really effortless. So well-treated. Whatever lube they used is just perfect.

WOMAN: I didn't think we were going to *need* lube a minute ago.

FREDDY: Hey, do you mind if I try those out?

EDDIE: Oh, sure. Always happy to help a fellow... enthusiast.

FREDDY: Niiiice.

WOMAN: Are you serious?

FREDDY: Here. Hold the glove if you want.

EDDIE: Hmm, that looks like a good piece of work too. Who made this? That's some quality leather...

WOMAN: Why don't *I* take that?

FREDDY: Hmmm...

[snipping]

FREDDY: Oh yeah. This is sweet.

WOMAN: GAAAAAAAHHH!!

FREDDY: Whaa-- [choking and gurgling]

WOMAN: [grunting]

EDDIE: What are you, craz--[choking]

[squishy noises, thrashing]

WOMAN: Hey, you're right. These are *nice* and sturdy.

[rustling, thrashing, stabbing etc]

EDDIE: Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh... [gurgling]

[bodies drop]

(pause)

WOMAN: Told you this wasn't my first rodeo.

[panting]

WOMAN: What did you say? Effortless action. Huh. You know... it really is. (laugh) Whew.

[snipping]

WOMAN: Now... hmmm. Oh yeah, that's good. (sigh) Whew. I think... mmm, now I think I'm going to have some *real* fun with these.