Don't Forget You Can Say No

This paste is in response to a tweet found here:
https://twitter.com/SchadyYT/status/812819198640615424

There's a rather important difference here.  And I realize that regardless of how I put this I'm going to sound like a huge douche, so I'm just going to say it bluntly.

With Chinese water torture - or torture of ANY kind - you have no control and cannot tell them to stop.  You're restrained and can't move, and you're forced to remain in place.  You don't HAVE options.

In the pictures posted in that tweet, the basic message is "similar to water torture, you cannot escape from these torturous miseries you have in life."  It makes the *assumption* that one cannot possibly escape, and that is simply not the case.

When it comes to people, in life, you DO have a choice.  Yes, after years of "little drops," it can hurt in the same mental manner as water torture, but the thing is, you have the ability to act in this situation.  You can tell people to stop, and take action if they won't.  You have the ability to correct wrongly-spoken dialogue.  Through the right avenues, you can get them in trouble if they're bullying you, you can talk to them and help them understand if they didn't before.  You have the ability to ACT.  I don't care if you're simply correcting the neighbor-kid on his incorrect pronoun usage, or taking action against your insensitive prick of an uncle with whom you live who does it deliberately every day specifically to be an asshole.  There's always an option to act.

And yes I know, family can threaten you.  Threaten to hurt you, threaten to kick you out, threaten to disown you.  Some do it.  Go to the cops.  Go to your friends.  Find a shelter.  You're not still totally helpless.  You have avenues to action, and you're better off living with people who DON'T treat you like trash every day, no matter HOW hard it is to find somewhere to go.

Look, I don't expect people to not have feelings.  That's impossible.  And people make mistakes.  Someone will accidentally say something incorrectly once in a while.  It happens.  Correct them and move on.  They'll learn something new and be better-educated for it.  Seriously, you're going to sit there and cry about someone making an honest mistake, and treat it the same as a deliberate insult, when you can legitimately just take a few seconds to correct them?  Do that and they aren't likely to make the same mistake again in the future (at least not with you, anyway).  Nip the matter in the bud.

As for the more stubborn and malicious individuals in your life, you have the ability and the right not to deal with their bullshit, not to deal with their assholery.  Show them that you'll say no and mean it.  Show them that you will NOT take their willing ignorance sitting down.  Show them that you are willing to call them out, and leave them behind if necessary.  Those people are not worth even the time of day, and should be left in the dust as quickly as possible.  I know that can be a difficult feat when you live with them, but it can be done.

I also know saying no can be very, very difficult.  Been-there-done-that too.  But if you can find it within yourself to do it, you can find the freedom you should have had in the first place, and get away from the oppressive people who are *trying* to pull you down.

I'm not saying that said people are not in a very hurtful situation.  Some situations can be very damaging to one's mental and/or even physical state; I'm well-aware that abuse happens.  I'm not saying that said people haven't endured this shit for years, or that they can't be tired of dealing with it.  I'm SAYING that you can still act.  No matter how long you have been under someone's heel, you can still crawl out at any time and decide you've had enough.

So I don't want to hear anything else about "I'm forced to endure this every day."  No you aren't.  You've got a mouth and both legs, and the word "no" exists.  Learn how to use these things.  If you don't, then you're also at fault for not being willing to say "no" and even begin TRYING to escape the situation you're in - you're at fault for giving up and allowing these things to happen.  Yes, I said it, as long as you aren't saying no, you're WILLINGLY *LETTING* these things happen to you.  You're at fault.  I'll point the finger where it's deserved.  Don't retort at me with "it's not my fault, it's theirs!  Don't pin the blame on me when it's their fault!"  First of all, I'm not saying they're not at fault - don't get me wrong, they're still at fault - but you are TOO.  If you're letting it happen, YES, YOU ARE AT FAULT, just as much as they are for doing whatever they're doing to you.

Life isn't water torture.  You can say no, and you can find ways to make it stick.