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Nuke - WAR, WAR NEVER CHANGES

Sep 21st, 2014
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  1. >You are Squeak, commando of the Alpha Moth forces.
  2. >On your squad are Virgo, Moon Dust, Actias, and Pepper Dust.
  3. >On the Beta Squad, your enemies, are Hexferry, Paprika, Gemini, Lucid, and Butterscotch.
  4. >Then there's the gamma squad, which is all of the little fillies and colts.
  5. >They're just kind of running around town with their heads cut off.
  6. >Not literally, that would be fucked up.
  7. >You lead your squad stealthily through the streets.
  8. >The objective is the Dust Bin bar.
  9. >You know the Beta Squad is going to be hiding there.
  10. >Better to knock them out quickly and quietly.
  11. >As your squad approaches the bar, everyone starts readying their dust-balloons.
  12. "CHARGE!"
  13. >The five of you rush through the front door of the bar, only to find yourselves face to face with Sepia and Goldie.
  14. "HI!"
  15. >"Uh. Hi? Looking for Hexferry and her little group?"
  16. "Yeah! Where are they."
  17. >Sepia points towards the basement.
  18. >You lead your group down into the basement.
  19. >It's dark, probably an ambush.
  20. >But, you find the enemy group sitting around a large wooden table with a bunch of little figures and papers.
  21. >Tonic is there, too!
  22. >He must be advising them on some war tactics, or something.
  23. "Ready?"
  24. "Aim..."
  25. >Everyone aims their balloons.
  26. >Time to catch these moth-er suckers off guard.
  27. "Fire!"
  28. >Everyone throws their balloons.
  29. >Nothing but direct hits!
  30. >You run over, sit on Hexferry, and laugh.
  31. "YOU LOSE, WE WIN!"
  32. >"Win what?!"
  33. "War."
  34. >Tonic glares at everyone.
  35. >You look down at the papers.
  36. >It's something for that nerdy tabletop game he likes to play.
  37. "Haha, were you nerds playing that dumb game again? You need to get outside."
  38. >You throw more balloons at them.
  39. >Your squad helps throw balloons and insults.
  40. >They mostly just call everyone nerds.
  41. >You walk up to Tonic and get really close to his face.
  42. "Hello, king nerd."
  43. >You rub a balloon on his cheek and pop it right next to his ear
  44. >Your squad rushes out of the bar
  45.  
  46. >Once upon a time in the magical lands of Dust Valley:
  47. >WAR STILL HAS NOT CHANGED
  48. >You are Flower Tart
  49. >Leader of Gamma Squad
  50. >And it's time to actually do something!
  51. >You gather up all of the fillies and colts and lead them to the Dust Bin bar.
  52. >It's time to launch an assault on Alpha squad.
  53. >But, when you get there, you find that Beta Squad has been defeated recently.
  54. >No sign of Alpha squad remains.
  55. >Instead, you decide to reap the leftovers and command an assault on Beta squad.
  56. >You and the other moth foals start pestering and bothering Beta squad.
  57. >Tonic starts crying uncontrollably, presumably over his ruined game.
  58. >Some of the foals begin eating his papers and spitting them out on the Beta squad.
  59. >You personally pester Hexferry until she gives you a couple of bits.
  60. >Beta Squad has successfully been destroyed.
  61. >Now for Alpha Squad.
  62. >You lead Gamma squad through town.
  63. >No signs of Alpha squad anywhere.
  64. >That is, until you run into Squeak.
  65. >She's alone.
  66. >Something isn't right.
  67. "Spread out and keep your eyes and antennae peeled."
  68. >Squeak just stares at you, a stupid, innocent look on her face.
  69. "I don't trust you."
  70. >She squeaks and shrugs.
  71. >The next thing you know, you and your squad are covered in dust.
  72. >It was a trap.
  73. >Alpha squad knows no mercy.
  74. >Not even for the children and orphans.
  75. >You look up in a daze, almost completely blinded by dust.
  76. "Wh-why..."
  77. >"Because."
  78. >Squeak kicks a little dust in your face.
  79. >The rest of Alpha squad appears from behind her, laughing.
  80. >"Alpha squad is grillin' out tonight."
  81. >Pepper Dust and Moon Dust high-five.
  82. >"And we're specializing in casuals."
  83. >Virgo and Actias jump and chest-bump.
  84. >"That's the smell of git gud."
  85. >Squeak steals the money you got from Hexferry.
  86. >What a bitch.
  87.  
  88. --------------
  89.  
  90. >WAR IS THE SAME AS IT'S EVER BEEN.
  91. >You are Squeak
  92. >Leader of Alpha Squad
  93. >Now supreme leader of Dust Valley
  94. >You run this bitch.
  95. >Beta Squad finally gave up on their rebellious assaults and have joined your cause.
  96. >They've been reduced to slave labor in the dust mines!
  97. >Except you have no dust mines, so you've ordered them to build some.
  98. >None of you knew how to build dust mines.
  99. >They just sit around all day doing nothing.
  100. >At least they aren't trying to fight you.
  101. >Gamma Squad, however.
  102. >Flower Tart and her crew still haven't gotten over being destroyed by the divine power of your team.
  103. >Last time they tried to rebel, you just tipped them all over on their sides.
  104. >They didn't know what to do.
  105. >You're pretty sure Dandelion just started crying.
  106. >What a nerd.
  107. >You look around at your domain.
  108. >Everything is perfectly peaceful.
  109. >No war.
  110. >No crime.
  111. >No strife.
  112. >Dust Valley is a utopia now.
  113. >There's just one little problem.
  114. >Virgo still doesn't love you.
  115. >And also the soldiers marching on your city.
  116. >Princess Celestia is with them.
  117. >You call your team into formation and ready an assault.
  118. >You approach Celestia.
  119. >"Squeak, I presume?"
  120. "SQUEAK!"
  121. >"I'm going to have to ask you to stand down and return this town to its former rule."
  122. "Squeak."
  123. >"Then you force my hoof."
  124. >She charges a spell.
  125. >You call for the assault.
  126. >Dust balloons pelt her and her soldiers.
  127. >They have no effect!
  128. >"What is this?"
  129. "SQUEAK!"
  130. >Your squad abandons their posts.
  131. >You run.
  132. >They run.
  133. >Celestia grabs all of you in a telekinetic grip.
  134. >"I'm banishing all of you to the moon for assaulting royalty.
  135. >Shit.
  136.  
  137. >And now you're on the moon with your squad.
  138. >Time to start building a giant dust cannon to get revenge on Celestia.
  139. >You change the name of Alpha Squad to Space Moths.
  140. >Hopefully Beta Squad can stage a rebellion and overtake Celestia by the time you get this cannon finished.
  141.  
  142. >Meanwhile in Dust Valley.
  143. >Butterscotch now rules Dust Valley.
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