lily vs the gatekeeper

[19:26] <GATEKEEPER> sup
[19:26] <Lily_Palmer> sup
[19:27] <GATEKEEPER> ==START==
[19:27] <GATEKEEPER> ROLL INITIATIVE
[19:27] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d20+3
[19:27] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=6 ]{9}
[19:28] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+2
[19:28] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=13 ]{15}
[19:28] <GATEKEEPER> ((WAIT
[19:28] <GATEKEEPER> ((CRAMP. hoorrriblea
[19:29] <Lily_Palmer> (( D: ))
[19:30] <GATEKEEPER> ((alright. lets go))
[19:30] <GATEKEEPER> "WELL, I THINK I SHALL PLAY IT FAIR FOR SUCH A PITYFUL HUMAN LIKE YOU"
[19:31] <Lily_Palmer> "yeah 'fair'"
[19:31] <GATEKEEPER> most of the limbs dissapear, 2 hands crawl out of the darkness. and the pale eye slumbers forward... embedded to a hand
[19:31] <GATEKEEPER> your turn
[19:32] <GATEKEEPER> ((wait. that description is too vague. the eye is in a BIG. hand))
[19:32] <Lily_Palmer> "ok thats really fucking freaky nope nope nope"
[19:32] <Lily_Palmer> i walk back and toss a bomb at it
[19:33] <GATEKEEPER> roll to hit.
[19:33] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+2
[19:33] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=11 ]{13}
[19:34] <GATEKEEPER> the bomb flies through the air and lands next to the little hands
[19:34] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d12 damage
[19:34] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d12 damage --> [ 1d12=9 ]{9}
[19:35] <GATEKEEPER> the big hand is pushed back a bit, and the little ones crumble into dust
[19:35] <GATEKEEPER> "HUMANS HAVE SUCH PITYFUL TRICKS.... SULPHUR AND FIRE WONT SAVE YOU AGAINST ME"
[19:36] <GATEKEEPER> end turn?
[19:36] <Lily_Palmer> end turn
[19:37] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper slumbers forward again, back to where it was,  and slams two fingers into the soft dirt
[19:37] <GATEKEEPER> 2 small hands appear, seemingly formed out of thin air
[19:39] <Lily_Palmer> "ok thats creepy. can you do anything that isnt completely weird"
[19:39] <GATEKEEPER> you see the palm raising, a thin line that you assume is a mouth opens wide, black flesh and an overlong tongue stick out and hiss
[19:39] <GATEKEEPER> "YOU SHALL DIE AT THE HANDS OF ONE OF US"
[19:39] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d20+2 viscious insult
[19:39] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d20+2 viscious insult --> [ 1d20=14 ]{16}
[19:39] <GATEKEEPER> ((roll wisdom save))
[19:39] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20
[19:39] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{19}
[19:40] <Lily_Palmer> "i take that as a no"
[19:40] <GATEKEEPER> you feel a cold wave of air pass over you
[19:40] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d2 cooldown
[19:40] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d2 cooldown --> [ 1d2=2 ]{2}
[19:41] <GATEKEEPER> "GO FORTH"
[19:41] <GATEKEEPER> hands turn
[19:41] <GATEKEEPER> roll 2!1d20 hit
[19:41] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 2#1d20 hit
[19:41] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 2#1d20 hit --> [ 1d20=5 ]{5}, [ 1d20=2 ]{2}
[19:42] <GATEKEEPER> the hands jump using their fingers, they fail tremendously. landing next to you
[19:42] <GATEKEEPER> your turn again
[19:42] <Lily_Palmer> I smash one of the hands with my guitar
[19:42] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+3
[19:42] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=9 ]{12}
[19:43] <GATEKEEPER> it hits, roll for damage
[19:43] <GATEKEEPER> BTW. TURN 2
[19:43] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d8+3
[19:43] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d8+3 --> [ 1d8=8 ]{11}
[19:44] <GATEKEEPER> the hand crumbles into dust. the other looks surprisingly sad
[19:44] <Lily_Palmer> I turn to the other hand and kick it.
[19:45] <GATEKEEPER> you know the drill
[19:45] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper watches intently at you
[19:45] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+3
[19:45] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=8 ]{11}
[19:45] <GATEKEEPER> hits once again, roll damage
[19:46] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d6+3
[19:46] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d6+3 --> [ 1d6=2 ]{5}
[19:46] <GATEKEEPER> the hand is kicked back and hits the gatekeeper
[19:47] <GATEKEEPER> ill assume you ended your turn
[19:48] <GATEKEEPER> "OH MY! QUITE A FIGHTING SPIRIT"
[19:48] <GATEKEEPER> "lets break it shall we?"
[19:49] <Lily_Palmer> "fuck you"
[19:49] <GATEKEEPER> the little hand follows the gatekeeper's bidding and jumps at you
[19:49] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d20+2 grapple
[19:49] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d20+2 grapple --> [ 1d20=16 ]{18}
[19:51] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+4 to not get grappled (athletics)
[19:51] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+4 to not get grappled (athletics) --> [ 1d20=2 ]{6}
[19:51] == Roland [[email protected]] has joined #RPGStuck_crownest
[19:52] <GATEKEEPER> the hand grabs into your ancle and melts into the ground, pulling your leg down with it into some sort of awkward shackle
[19:52] <GATEKEEPER> *ankle
[19:52] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper poises one of his fingers and motherfucking pokes you.
[19:52] <Lily_Palmer> "WHAT THE FUCK"
[19:52] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 2#1d20+1
[19:52] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 2#1d20+1 --> [ 1d20=15 ]{16}, [ 1d20=18 ]{19}
[19:53] <GATEKEEPER> you are struck by a giant finger in the middle of your chest. it feels like being punched
[19:53] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d8+1 damage
[19:53] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d8+1 damage --> [ 1d8=6 ]{7}
[19:53] <GATEKEEPER> take 7 damage, your turn again
[19:55] <Lily_Palmer> I attack the shackle with my guitar
[19:55] <GATEKEEPER> roll to hit with advantage. and damage, since you'll probs succeed
[19:55] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+4
[19:55] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=20 ]{24}
[19:55] <Lily_Palmer> oh
[19:56] <GATEKEEPER> ...the hand crumbles and lets you go
[19:56] <GATEKEEPER> "I WOULD CLAP RIGHT NOW... EXCEPT I DONT WANT TO, NEITHER I CARE"
[19:56] <GATEKEEPER> *can
[19:57] <Lily_Palmer> I kick the gatekeeper right in the chest... err, palm?
[19:58] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+4
[19:58] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+4 --> [ 1d20=7 ]{11}
[20:05] <GATEKEEPER> ((sorry, leg was killing me))
[20:06] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper moves you away with a movement of its index finger
[20:06] <GATEKEEPER> GATEKEEPER TURN
[20:06] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper opens its black maw once again
[20:07] <GATEKEEPER> "THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU. I KNOW IT, I HAVE SEEN IT"
[20:07] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d20+1 hurful words
[20:07] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d20+1 hurful words --> [ 1d20=10 ]{11}
[20:07] <GATEKEEPER> roll wisdom
[20:08] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20
[20:08] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20 --> [ 1d20=8 ]{8}
[20:10] <GATEKEEPER> ((wait. that roll should be a +2 on my side. anyways))
[20:10] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d6+2 damage
[20:10] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d6+2 damage --> [ 1d6=5 ]{7}
[20:11] <GATEKEEPER> ((-2 to the next attack roll))
[20:11] <GATEKEEPER> you feel cold air washing over your face. it sends a shudder down your spine
[20:11] <Lily_Palmer> "that... that... thats fucking mean dude"
[20:12]  * GATEKEEPER CACKLES
[20:13] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper hand-walks a bit away
[20:13] <GATEKEEPER> your turn
[20:14] <Lily_Palmer> I follow the gatekeeper.
[20:15] <GATEKEEPER> "TELL ME... ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR BEATING?"
[20:16] <GATEKEEPER> you are next to the gatekeepe
[20:16] <Lily_Palmer> "this is a beating? ive gotten worse beatings by imps"
[20:16] <Lily_Palmer> I smack my guitar into it
[20:17] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+2
[20:17] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=1 ]{3}
[20:17] <GATEKEEPER> the guitar bounces off harmlessly
[20:17] <GATEKEEPER> "the best you can do?"
[20:18] <GATEKEEPER> ((imagine that in all caps))
[20:18] <GATEKEEPER> end turn?
[20:19] <Lily_Palmer> I kick it too
[20:19] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+2
[20:19] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=11 ]{13}
[20:20] <GATEKEEPER> it hits.
[20:21] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d6+5
[20:21] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d6+5 --> [ 1d6=5 ]{10}
[20:19] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+2
[20:19] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=11 ]{13}
[20:20] <GATEKEEPER> it hits.
[20:21] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d6+5
[20:21] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d6+5 --> [ 1d6=5 ]{10}
[20:22] <GATEKEEPER> your heel digs into the palm and breaks the gatekeeper's... "skin"
[20:23] <GATEKEEPER> a black ooze begins pouring out, an acrid smell fills the air as it starts steaming
[20:23] <GATEKEEPER> "ILL ADMIT THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD ONE."
[20:23] <Lily_Palmer> "that... thats different"
[20:23] <Lily_Palmer> "you dont have ichor?"
[20:24] <Lily_Palmer> "man you are the WORST enemy ever"
[20:24] <GATEKEEPER> "ICHOR IS THE BLOOD OF GODS, WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU TO NOT KNOW THAT?"
[20:25] <GATEKEEPER> "EVEN THE MOST MORONIC OF GOBLINS KNOW THAT THE LIQUID UNDER OUR SKIN IS BUT THE ROTTEN ESSENCE OF DARK"
[20:25] <Lily_Palmer> "thats the edgiest shit i heard today"
[20:25]  * GATEKEEPER lifts its middle finger
[20:26] <GATEKEEPER> ((btw. you ran out of actions, its my turn))
[20:26] <Lily_Palmer> ((ye))
[20:27] <Lily_Palmer> "are... are you flipping me off?"
[20:27]  * GATEKEEPER flicks its middle finger at you, face level
[20:27] <GATEKEEPER> !roll 1d20+1 hit
[20:27] <Tyche[Dice]> GATEKEEPER rolled : 1d20+1 hit --> [ 1d20=6 ]{7}
[20:27] <GATEKEEPER> *not-painful-bitchslap*
[20:28] <GATEKEEPER> "GODS, YOU ARE SO ANNOYING"
[20:28] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper's milky eye turns bright red. roll acrobaticts
[20:28] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+3
[20:28] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+3 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{22}
[20:29] <Lily_Palmer> "well thats just your opinion dude"
[20:29] <GATEKEEPER> ((bluh. mistook my own freaking instructions. it was athletics))
[20:29] <GATEKEEPER> ((but ill let it roll for now))
[20:30] <GATEKEEPER> you feel like you were being pushed back by an invisible force... it doesn't even bother you
[20:30] <GATEKEEPER> "AHHHHH!"
[20:30] <GATEKEEPER> your turn
[20:30] <Lily_Palmer> "man thats the best you can do?"
[20:30] <Lily_Palmer> I swing at it with my guitar again.
[20:31] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d20+5
[20:31] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d20+5 --> [ 1d20=13 ]{18}
[20:32] <GATEKEEPER> your guitar makes a nice pretty *TWAAANG* sound as a breaking sound is heard underneath the gatekeeper's skin
[20:32] <GATEKEEPER> roll damage
[20:32] <Lily_Palmer> !roll 1d8+5
[20:32] <Tyche[Dice]> Lily_Palmer rolled : 1d8+5 --> [ 1d8=8 ]{13}
[20:34] <GATEKEEPER> "YOU FF-FUCKING WHORE, IM GOING TO KILL YOU."
[20:34] <Lily_Palmer> "hey you sound just like someone else i know"
[20:34] <GATEKEEPER> "IM GOING TO RIP APART THAT SMILE FROM YOUR FACE"
[20:34] <Lily_Palmer> "dont worry, one day maybe ill kill him too"
[20:35] <Lily_Palmer> "but the big difference here is that hed come back"
[20:35] <GATEKEEPER> "SO WILL I
[20:37] <Lily_Palmer> "and when you do, ill kill you again"
[20:37] <Lily_Palmer> "and again"
[20:37] <Lily_Palmer> "AND AGAIN"
[20:38]  * GATEKEEPER CACKLES, SPITTING OUT SMALL DROPS OF ACRID BLOOD"
[20:39] <GATEKEEPER> "DO YOU THINK ILL LET MY SECOND CHANCES PASS?. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF ENTERING SHEOL, YOU ARE A HUMAN. NOTHING BUT A HUMAN. AND I AM NOR FLESH OR BLOOD
[20:40] <Lily_Palmer> "blah blah blahhhh shut the fuck up and get out of the way"
[20:41] <GATEKEEPER> "...SIGH..."
[20:41] <GATEKEEPER> "i have to admit, my kind is of its word, i promised i would wipe your arse on the stone floor, and yet i have failed such a simple task"
[20:41] <GATEKEEPER> "strike me down. you win this one. human"
[20:42] <Lily_Palmer> "alright, good game well played"
[20:43] <GATEKEEPER> "good game indeed"
[20:48] <Lily_Palmer> I take my guitar one more time and walk back a few feet. Then to the best of my abilities I give a running strike to the massive hand, straight in its eyeball.
[20:48] <GATEKEEPER> the gatekeeper is struck in the middle of its eye, the "flesh" around dissolves into ash flakes and acrid smelling blood, only the eye remains in place. floating around at your face level, a small flame of black fire lights on top of it.
[20:49] <GATEKEEPER> "AND SO, I GIVE UP ON THIS WEAK FLESH. FREE ONCE AGAIN TO ROAM AND REFORM, MAYBE NEXT TIME I WILL MAKE MORE THAN JUST A MERE HAND... I SHALL BE WATCHING YOU"
[20:49] <GATEKEEPER> the eye combusts and dissapears
[20:51] <GATEKEEPER> you are left confused.
[20:51] <Lily_Palmer> "that was kind of weird"