a guest Jul 19th, 2018 103 Never
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- Chapter One - The Fuckfest Begins
- As we begin our tale, we start off in the realm of the humans. Yes, realm and yes humans. In order to switch rapidly from one fanbase or reality to another I will be using realms. Anyway, the realm of the humans is actually just Earth as we know it, and I am actually just starting off in my house.
- So here I am, sitting in my chair playing Madden on my Xbox 360. Oh yes, I am such a badass as I am playing in my Franchise as the Detroit Lions. Guess what, it is the motherfucking Superbowl and I am destined to win it! No more will the Lions be without a victory, no more will some other asshat hold up that trophy! It is Stafford's time to shine! At least, digitally.
- So anyway, there are about 5 seconds left in regulation and I am down by only 2 points. I have no worries, for I traded Jason Hanson for a more worthy kicker, no offense Hanson. I traded him for... JANIKOWSKI. I don't care if that is spelled correctly. Anyway, all I have to do to win is kick a 56 yard field goal and we all know he can kick 60 yards so it is fine.
- I'm all ready to win the game, when all of the sudden the other asshat blocks the field goal using some glitch. Yeah, he was offsides and I know it. My eyesight is PERFECT I could not possibly be wrong! So after about 30 minutes of bitching and screaming at the television I decide to visit John Madden and bitch some more. Since this is my fanfiction, I just will myself to his front door and start pounding.
- After a while he answers and well he's like 70 years old so he isn't in the mood for my bullshit. He simply shouts "Football!" and throws one right at me. I catch it and decide to sell it on Ebay for about a trillion dollars to some asshat named F00tb4ll4l1f3420. Honestly I could've took a shit and said it was John madden's and he would've paid. After this I pretty much forget about the Franchise, and life goes on.
- Once I return to my home though, there seems to be some kind of portal in my room. I don't give a shit where I go so I jump in, and what the fuck I'm in ponyland. By ponyland i mean Equestria. However they seem to believe French shit is ma-DICK! so I barely understand shit because I only took French 1. Luckily I find the language toolbar in the top right corner so everything is okay. I then decide to log off of second life and go to bed, where I dream of having hot sex with Luna.
- END OF CHAPTER 1.
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