The Real Killing Joke

One time I sent a text to my friend Aaron containing a joke I had just wrote. Then I realized that Aaron would logically be on his way to work at that time, and that him reading my joke might result in him crashing his car and dying. Aaron could die and it would be pretty much my fault! I was basically paralyzed with anxiety while waiting for him to text me back, confirming his continued livelihood. Worst of all the joke wasn't even that good. I sent him, "I'm not hindu, but I used to be in a previous life." What's sad is that my friend dying while reading that text is literally the only way that joke would ever "kill". However, it would be a pretty sweet super power to be able to murder somebody by sending them a text. And mostly to seem like the sensitive type, I'd go back in time and send Hitler a text. Well I guess I would have to also give him a cell phone, but once that step was complete I'd totally send him a murder text and everyone would think I was a hero/space alien, which would make my mother happy so there's that.

Although having that super power would come with the risk of accidentally sending a murder text to the wrong number, which is probably almost as embarrassing as accidentally sending a dick pic to your brother, forever ruining his first day of middle school.