Crane Game

>Be a divorced father with two children, a young boy and girl
>Have the kids for the weekend, decide to take them to see a movie
>Daughter wants to bring her fluffy pony Berry, a bright magenta colt with a blue mane and tail
>Tell her the theater isn't safe for fluffies and that she can tell Berry all about the movie when you come back.
>Neither your daughter or Berry take this well
"But Daaaaddd…" "Bewwy wan' go tuu! Bewwy nu wan' be awone!"
>Put your foot down, no fluffies at the movies
>Daughter pouts during drive over, son won't stop poking her
>Threaten not to go for ice cream afterwards if they both keep misbehaving
>Get to the movie theater, buy tickets, go get popcorn and soda while kids play in the overpriced arcade area
>You hate shelling out money to see a crappy sequel to a kid's movie in 3D, but you gotta do something to keep your ex from turning your children against you
>Finish putting butter on your popcorn, see kids hanging around crane game
>As you get closer, you see something moving inside the crane game. A familiar looking magenta and blue fluffy is bounding around on top of the overpriced stuffed animals and toys inside the machine.
>The overly pleased look on your son's face, as well as your panicked looking daughter tell you the whole tale
>Daughter snuck Berry into the theater (impressive feat, if you weren't so annoyed by it) and your son then shoved him up the prize chute and into the machine (again, impressively annoying)
>Tell Berry to get out of the machine. Berry ignores you, being in the equivalent of Fluffy Pony Heaven
"Bewwy nu wan go! Bewwy wuv theatah!"
>Daughter's getting more upset, your about to get an employee for help when a thought occurs. If you rescue Berry, you'll be in good graces with your daughter for the rest of your life.
>Look at the machine, standard claw game, like the one's you used to play all the time as a kid. Claw's not too strong, but a fluffy's not much heavier then a stuffed animal and should be way easier to grab
>Tell your daughter not to worry, you'll get Berry out. Put a dollar's worth of quarters in the machine, crane starts moving…
>Berry freaks.
"SCAWY MUNSTA!!!! NU HUWT BEWWY!!!"
>Berry begins running around in terror, voiding his bowels all over the toys in the machine. Your daughter begins panicking, splitting her attention between trying to calm Berry down begging you not to hurt her fluffy. Your son, being ever so helpful, keeps banging on the glass and telling Berry all the horrible things the 'munsta' will do if it catches him.
>Between the distractions of your children and the fluffy running for his life, you can't get Berry under the claw and end up with nothing.
>You begin to realize how foolish your plan was, a mobile fluffy is much too difficult to catch with the claw, while still being too stupid to jump down the chute. You also can't go get help now, as you'd now have to pay for the ruined toys. You groan and put in some more quarters.
>About $5 later, you finally catch a break. Berry has tired himself out, and is now lying on his back, weakly kicking his legs and begging the 'scawy munsta' not to hurt him
>You position the claw over the exhausted fluffy and hit the button to drop it. The claw lands on Berry, who begins crying and trying to wiggle free. You smile at your daughter as the claw begins to lift and close…
>And Berry starts screaming bloody murder.
"NUUUU!!! SCAWY MUNSTA NU HUWT BEWWY PEEPEE PWACE! MUMMA PWEASE HEWP BEWWY!!!"
>Apparently, Berry had managed to wiggle himself into a position so that the claw grabbed hold of his fluffy dick, an event so unlikely that can only be explained by the existence of a God who really hates fluffy ponies. Your daughter starts crying and your son starts rolling on the floor laughing his ass off
>You see an employee of the theater begin running over to check out what the hell is going on, just as a screaming Berry is unceremoniously dropped down the prize chute. You quickly grab your traumatized fluffy, crying daughter and giggling son and run out of the theater, shove them all as quickly as you can back in the car, making a silent vow to yourself never to take your kids anywhere ever again.
>You all end up stopping for ice cream on the way home, as both a quick fix to any trauma they incurred, as well as a bribe to never speak of this to their mom.