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- Memory [01] (Kazumi meeting Tsuruno)
- -No changes, apart from a slight tone adjustment in JP for Kazumi's "Right here!" line. (tiny bit more forceful)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [01] (Kaoru and Umika getting their bearings)
- -Kazumi's lines in the flashback (re:keeping up the pursuit / how Kaoru told her about witches) are rewritten to give her a more self-assured tone in JP. The EN server's translation basically comes across that way already, though these lines in particular are revised:
- Kazumi: "Witches bring misery to people. You're the one who told me that, Kaoru!"
- Kazumi: "If we just give up on fighting the Witch now, someone could get hurt..."
- --> Kazumi: "You told me all about it, right, Kaoru?"
- Kazumi: "About how witches bring misery to people..."
- Kazumi: "There's no WAY I'd back down while knowing that!"
- -Kazumi: "U-Umika! Kaoru! I-I'm scared!" --> "What the heck's going on?! Umikaaa! Kaoruuu!!"
- -Kaoru's voiceover line describing how they were split up and flung away is condensed: "We'd each been flung away to different parts of Kamihama City by some mysterious force."
- -Umika: "Thinking about it, this city is incredibly vast..."
- Umika: "Searching haphazardly would just be a waste of our energy."
- Kaoru: "If we just had a clue to go off of..."
- Kaoru: "Well... if it's Kazumi we're looking for, good food is the perfect place to start."
- Kaoru: "But she's new to this place too, so she wouldn't know where to go..."
- Umika: "...!"
- Umika: "Kaoru, behind you! I see someone!"
- --> Umika: "This city is far too vast to search with just the two of us."
- Umika: "If we move around separately too much, we'll probably lose track of each other again..."
- Kaoru: "If there were any food joints we knew here, she could be at one of those."
- Kaoru: "But it's not like Mr. Tachibana would somehow have a cafe in every city..."
- Kaoru: "Can't you use X File to read the city's information?"
- Umika: "I tried that a little while ago, but it seems like the city's affected by some kind of magic..."
- Umika: "Kaoru, behind you! I see someone!"
- -Kaoru: "Somehow I dodged it! That was close..."
- Umika: "That was out of nowhere... what was it? A Familiar?"
- Kaoru: "Shoot! Where'd it come from...?"
- Kaoru: "Like we'll let that happen again! Right, Umika?"
- Umika: "Yes, time to transform!"
- --> Kaoru: "Yeah, I just barely dodged it."
- Umika: "That was out of nowhere... what was it? A Familiar?"
- Kaoru: "Familiar or not... whether it's soccer or battle, I'm not the type to sit around waiting."
- Kaoru: "Umika!"
- Umika: "Yes, time to transform!"
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [02] (Kazumi at Banbanzai)
- -Several minor changes to Kazumi's dialogue throughout, to give her more of a composed/self-assured atmosphere overall. Most of it consists of removing ellipses, modifying her sentence-ending particles and filling in the trailed-off ends of certain sentences-- which the EN server's translation already did in a lot of cases, so there you go.
- -Kazumi: "That's not true!"
- Kazumi: "I totally understand people loving it!"
- --> Kazumi: "No, even accounting for that-- this food's *good*!"
- Kazumi: "This flavor of yours was created based on your grandpa's flavor!"
- -Kazumi: "Maybe 'cause I'm full!"
- Kazumi: "I may only know my own name, but..."
- Kazumi: "I know I'm okay if I get hungry."
- Tsuruno: "Whaddaya mean?"
- Kazumi: "That's another thing I remember."
- --> Kazumi: "Well, yeah, I'm worried..."
- Kazumi: "But I feel like 'as long as I get hungry,' I'll be okay!"
- Kazumi: "Haha, sounds kinda weird coming from someone who just ate a huge meal, huh?"
- Tsuruno: "Whaddaya mean?"
- Kazumi: "Hm... I feel like it's something somebody told me once."
- -Kazumi's two lines following the above exchange are also rewritten (though again, the EN version essentially covers it already).
- -A quick "oh, but also!" is inserted between Kazumi's "I'll make this up to you sometime" and "I'm looking forward to your fried rice next time", probably in the interest of coming across as more courteous. :V
- -(also i only just noticed this but kazumi's 'Ciao!' as she's leaving is missing in the EN server TL... tragic.......)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [02] (Umika and Kaoru fleeing & meeting Tsuruno)
- -Umika: "Kaoru! Are you all right?!"
- Kaoru: "Yeah, I am an athlete after all!"
- Kaoru: "Not sure if I can dodge that again though."
- Umika: "To think something could best you when it comes to speed!"
- Kaoru: "Speaking of which, a volley's coming your way, Umika! Watch out!"
- --> Umika: "Kaoru! Are you all right?!"
- Kaoru: "Yep. I've got this nice, tough body now, after all!"
- Umika: "That's not funny."
- Kaoru: "Yeah, it's not. If I get hit again, I'll be in trouble..."
- Kaoru: "Speaking of which, here comes another volley!"
- -Umika's "we can't keep this up forever" line was slightly rewritten in JP, though the EN server's translation still covers the new phrasing anyway.
- (...)
- -Umika: "No... I already tried using X File."
- Umika: "The information is in fragments. I can't make heads or tails of it."
- Umika: "It's as if it's encrypted..."
- Kaoru: "But why... why is it attacking us?!"
- Kaoru: "Is it some local Magical Girl?! Who would do something like this!?"
- Umika: "Remain calm, Kaoru. Right now, one thing is clear."
- Umika: "Whatever is attacking us..."
- Umika: "...is our enemy."
- Kaoru: "Our enemy..."
- Umika: "It's quite obvious. Someone on our side would never do this."
- Umika: "There must be a reason behind it."
- Kaoru: "Y-you're right!"
- Umika: "There is one thing we can do..."
- Kaoru: "Run!"
- Umika: "Correct!"
- --> Umika: "X File isn't working."
- Kaoru: "What?!"
- Umika: "The information is in fragments."
- Umika: "It's as if it's encrypted..."
- Kaoru: "Tch...! What's with this city...?"
- Kaoru: "Who would send a Magical Girl after us?! And why?!"
- Umika: "It's just one mystery after another..."
- Umika: "But we've got no time to waste worrying about that. Right now, there's only two crucial points."
- Umika: "First: there's an enemy attacking us, and we're in danger."
- Kaoru: "And the second...?"
- Umika: "Second: the only thing we can do right now..."
- Umika: "Is RUN!"
- Kaoru: "Natch!"
- (...)
- -Kaoru's lines about Kamihama being "someone else's turf" are rewritten to give her a more self-assured tone in JP; the EN server's translation is already basically the same. One uniquely-new line was added: "Kinda funny to be searching for a lost friend when we're good and lost, ourselves."
- -Umika: "Let's try to get some information from the local Magical Girls."
- Umika: "Our situation might be related to something peculiar here..."
- Kaoru: "Where do you want to start?"
- Umika: "Good question. First--"
- Kaoru: "Hang on!"
- Kaoru: "......."
- Kaoru: "You've gotta be kidding..."
- Umika: "It can't be... How?!"
- --> Umika: "Let's try to get some information from the local Magical Girls."
- Umika: "Our situation might be related to something peculiar here..."
- Kaoru: "But we have no idea who's an enemy and who's not, around here..."
- Kaoru: "Who are you gonna ask when just about anyone could be against us?"
- Umika: "...Good question."
- Kaoru: "--Hang on!"
- Kaoru: "......."
- Kaoru: "Geeze, no way..."
- Umika: "I didn't even notice... How?!"
- -Kaoru: "We gotta split up! I'll buy us some time!"
- Umika: "Nonsense!"
- Umika: "I would never leave you behind!"
- Kaoru: "If it takes out both of us, what's gonna happen to Kazumi?!"
- Umika: "I know, but!"
- --> Kaoru: "We gotta split up! I'll buy us some time!"
- Umika: "How do you plan on fighting it? We're both exhausted already."
- Kaoru: "If it takes out both of us, Kazumi's gonna be left alone!"
- Umika: "I know, but!"
- -Tsuruno's voiceover lines now have quotes around them.
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [03] (Kazumi meeting Kanoko & Himika)
- -(Continuing with the incidental tone adjustments for Kazumi in certain places.)
- -Kazumi: "Yeah, it senses stuff." --> "Yeah, the sticky-outy bit is telling me something! Something different from usual-- but bad!"
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [03] (Tsuruno to the rescue!!)
- -In keeping with the general tone rewrites, Umika and Kaoru don't stutter as much during Tsuruno's appearance. Umika also addresses Tsuruno by name ("Tsuruno-san") just a few lines after Tsuruno introduces herself.
- -Kaoru: "Don't do anything! Please!"
- Kaoru: "The person attacking us, she's..."
- --> Kaoru: "Don't fight her! She's not our enemy!"
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [04] (Meal time at Himika's house)
- -Kaoru's "How about you, ●●?" line in the flashback is removed. (I figure it's because the text boxes already indicate that Kazumi doesn't remember their name yet?)
- -Kazumi: "When I woke up today, I decided to cook some beef stroganoff!"
- Kazumi: "I wanted to try and capture the taste from when Mr. Tachibana made it for me..."
- --> Kazumi: "There was a special sale on meat today, so I cooked some beef stroganoff!"
- Kazumi: "I wanted to try and capture the taste of Mr. Tachibana's recipe..."
- -Umika: "It's not too strong, but still flavorful... the balance is great!"
- Kazumi: "Hee hee!"
- --> Umika: "It's simmered to perfection. The flavor's rich, the beef is tender... just beef-eautiful!"
- Kazumi: "Beef-eautiful?! Ahaha! Sounds like it's a success!"
- *(in JP, umika's little pun is that she uses the onomatopoeia ギュー ('gyuu', squeezing) for the tender 牛肉 ('gyuuniku', beef).
- _(:3 _ )_ .....i did my best ok............)
- -Another tone edit to Kazumi's line following the above.
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [04] (Regrouping at Mizuna Shrine)
- -Kaoru's "Haha, classic Kazumi!" line was truncated slightly in JP; most likely another slight tone rewrite.
- -Umika: "Back there... That wasn't Kazumi."
- Tsuruno: "Huh? But you said..."
- Kaoru: "I know, but... it's not her!"
- Kaoru: "It just can't be Kazumi..."
- Umika: "We don't really know what's going on, either."
- Kaoru: "She looked like Kazumi, but everything about her was totally off!"
- Umika: "Something must have happened to her."
- Umika: "Which means that girl who attacked us isn't really her!"
- Kaoru: "Yeah, that's not the Kazumi we know and love..."
- Kaoru: "Our Kazumi is completely different..."
- Tsuruno: "Uuuoooh! I'm getting all dizzy!"
- Kaoru: "Anyway, we didn't want you to attack her before we knew what was wrong!"
- --> Umika: "I imagine she wouldn't. After all, that thing wasn't Kazumi."
- Tsuruno: "Huh? But you said..."
- Kaoru: "I know. It took us by surprise back there, and the magic she used was the same..."
- Kaoru: "But now that I've had time to think, I can tell the difference. Though it's kinda hard to describe."
- Umika: "Perhaps she's being controlled by something, or perhaps it's some kind of doppelganger..."
- Umika: "Either way, *something* abnormal's happened to her."
- Kaoru: "Kazumi's still unstable right now, so if she stays exposed to magic for too long..."
- Umika: "Yes... I don't want to consider it, but in the worst-case scenario..."
- Kaoru: "No, that's NOT happening! I don't ever want to go through that again...!"
- Umika: "Calm down, Kaoru..."
- Tsuruno: "Um, I kinda feel like a third wheel to this whole conversation~?"
- Kaoru: "Anyway, we didn't want you to attack her before we knew what was wrong."
- (...)
- -Tsuruno: "Okay, got it!"
- Kaoru: "Huh?! You did?! R-really?"
- --> Tsuruno: "Okay, got it!"
- Kaoru: "Huh?! ...Just from all that?"
- -Umika: (This city seems worlds apart from how things are in Asunaro City.) --> (It seems like this city is experiencing an entirely different sort of chaos from Asunaro City.)
- -Kaoru: "What, really?!" --> "Thanks! You sure, though?"
- -Umika: "Thank you! We graciously accept your help!" --> "Thank you. It'll be reassuring to have a local resident on our side."
- -Kaoru: "You told us before..." --> "You came bursting in with a whole introduction and everything."
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [05] (Meeting Emiri)
- -Kazumi: "Kanoko just couldn't resist the effects of the mushroom."
- Kazumi: "But she managed to tell me something through all the sobbing!"
- Kazumi: "She knew a good place for me to get advice about my missing memories!"
- --> Kazumi: "Don't worry, Kanoko... with a good, hard cry like that, I'm sure you can detox in no time!"
- Kazumi: "That aside, she managed to tell me something through all the sobbing."
- Kazumi: "She knew a place that could help guide me about my missing memories."
- -Kazumi's narration about leaving Himika to tend to Kanoko and going to the counseling room is rearranged and truncated somewhat, in line with Kazumi's more focused/goal-oriented vibe. Basically says the same thing though.
- -Kazumi has a small laugh added at the start of her response to Emiri's nickname for her.
- (Also some small tweaks to Emiri's dialogue-- mostly removing ellipses, one instance of gyaru-ing up her vocab a bit more.)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [05] (Also meeting Emiri)
- -Slightly more mature tone for Umika in JP when she's remarking on Emiri's counseling booth, plus during a few incidental lines later on.
- -Kaoru: "Wh-whoa, really?!" --> "Dang, it's just Magical Girls everywhere you look..."
- (...)
- -Umika: "Yes!"
- Kaoru: "The quicker the better!"
- --> Umika: "Yes, we'd appreciate that very much."
- Kaoru: "Yeah, sorry, but we're in a huge hurry."
- (...)
- -Umika: "Yes. If we can trust your instincts on that..."
- Umika: "...it means the 'Kazumi' we saw isn't likely to be a Familiar."
- Kaoru: "Yeah, I guess not..."
- --> Umika: "By that, I assume you mean she didn't feel like a Familiar..."
- Umika: "In which case, I feel it's safe to assume that the 'Kazumi' we saw isn't one."
- Kaoru: "Which means we have even less of an idea of what she could be."
- -Umika and Kaoru's lines shortly after the above exchange are also rewritten for speaking tone.
- -Ria: "Still, this whole mystery is shrouded in darkness..."
- Kaoru: "Y-yeah..."
- Kaoru: "(She already feels like a friend...)"
- --> Ria: "Still, this whole mystery is shrouded in darkness..."
- Kaoru: "Well, darkness is something we're pretty used to by now."
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [06] (Discussion at Emiri's room)
- -Kazumi: "I gotta go... I need to go!"
- Sasara: "N-no, that wouldn't be wise. You aren't a Magical Girl..."
- Kazumi: "But... I really, really have to go! Something bad's gonna happen if I don't!"
- --> Kazumi: "Someone's calling me... I need to go!"
- Sasara: "N-no, that wouldn't be wise. You aren't a Magical Girl..."
- Kazumi: "I know that. But I really *have* to go!"
- -Kazumi: "Yeah!" --> "Believe me, I'm TOTES serious!"
- (*in JP, Kazumi mimics Emiri's 'aashi' pronoun for this line)
- -Kazumi: "Um, yeah..." --> "Yeah, sounds good! Don't worry one bit about me!"
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [06] (Scuffle at Emiri's room)
- -Speaking tone rewrite to Umika and Kaoru's lines re:how they'll hold "Kazumi" off since they're the ones she's after. As usual, it's slightly more composed for Umika, slightly more brash/confident for Kaoru.
- -Kaoru: "What's the matter with her?! There's no way this can be Kazumi, right?" --> "Gaah...! You're... definitely not Kazumi...!"
- -Umika: "Why won't you say something?! Anything!" --> "It's no use pretending to be Kazumi... you can't trick us."
- -(+ a few more very minor Umika/Kaoru tone touchups, though they get more infrequent by this point)
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [07] (Kazumi and co. at a Labyrinth)
- -General touch-ups to some of the Kazumi characters' lines, though they amount to saying the same thing in EN.
- -Kazumi: "You sure there isn't anything I can do to help?" --> "It's still frustrating, though. I want to help you guys too..."
- -Kazumi: "I... hear something."
- Sasara: "Huh? What?"
- Kazumi: "Standing by this Labyrinth... something inside me is..."
- Kazumi: "There's something inside me, sleeping..."
- Kazumi: "...And making sounds!"
- --> Kazumi: "I... hear something."
- Sasara: "From inside the Labyrinth?"
- Kazumi: "No, something from inside me..."
- Kazumi: "I can hear it... It feels familiar, and warm..."
- Kazumi: "This echo that's giving me courage..."
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [07] (At the Coordinator's)
- -Umika/Kaoru tone again: slightly more composed as they come into the shop
- -Yachiyo: "You're Magical Girls from Asunaro, right?"
- Umika: "Yes!"
- Kaoru: "Do you want something from us?"
- --> Yachiyo: "You're Magical Girls from Asunaro, right?"
- Umika: "Yes. I'm Umika Misaki."
- Kaoru: "My name's Kaoru Maki. Would you mind if I asked why you called us here?"
- -----------------------------------
- Memory [08] (Kazumi heads off on her own)
- -Quotes added around Kazumi's voiceover lines, same as with Tsuruno's introduction earlier.
- -Various touchups to Kazumi's lines here and there, though they all come out the same in English.
- -Kazumi: "But where should I start?" --> "...It's my first time visiting this city, though, so running around blindly will probably get me nowhere."
- -Kazumi: "Really?! P-please tell me!" --> "Tell me your idea!"
- (...)
- -Kazumi: (Umika, Kaoru! I can't wait to see you again!)
- Kazumi: (Oh... I better hurry!)
- --> Kazumi: (Umika, Kaoru! Wait for me...! I'll be there soon!)
- Kazumi: (You two are the only family I have right now, after all...)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [08] (Yachiyo's explanation)
- -Umika: "Where... wh-where was she this whole time?!" --> "So... where exactly has 'our' Kazumi been this whole time?"
- -The word "uwasa" in hiragana is now highlighted blue, as has since become the norm.
- -Umika: "E-even unconsciously..."
- Umika: "Kazumi must've been trying to come back home..."
- --> Umika: "So Kazumi had been trying to escape by herself..."
- -Kaoru: "So what was that about taking her down?" --> "So if you saved her, what do you mean by 'taking her down' with you?"
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [09] (Battle at the Coordinator's)
- -Umika: "It seems the influence of my craft is more evidence than I thought..."
- --> "It's nothing, really. I just answered with what I thought based on Yachiyo-san's information..."
- -(+ a couple more minor edits to Umika/Kaoru's JP lines as they're fighting outside)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [10] (Kazumi wakes up)
- -Kazumi: "I knew it! I knew I'd find you again!"
- Kazumi: "I never doubted that you'd come for me!"
- Umika: "Kazumi..."
- Umika: "You know what! You attacked us over and over!"
- Kazumi: "Huh?! I-I attacked you?!"
- Umika: "Honestly..."
- Umika: "Still, I'm so relieved!"
- --> Kazumi: "Umika, Kaoru! It took FOREVER for me to find you!"
- Kazumi: "I'm glad you guys are okay too!"
- Umika: "Yes, it's good that we could meet you safely."
- Umika: "As opposed to being defeated by 'you'..."
- Kazumi: "Huh? Me, defeat you guys?"
- Kazumi: "Uh-oh... as soon as I let out that sigh of relief, my stomach started growling..."
- Kaoru: "Hahaha! Yeah, that's our Kazumi, all right."
- (...)
- -Kazumi: "What's going on?" --> "Ah, this food..."
- -Kazumi: "Explain what?"
- Yachiyo: "You were knocked unconscious by a Rumor..."
- Kazumi: "I was unconscious?!"
- Yachiyo: "You were taken over by a doppelganger..."
- Kazumi: "A doppelganger!"
- Kazumi: (Is she talking about... that thing I ran into on the street?!)
- --> Kazumi: "Yes! I want to know exactly what happened!"
- Yachiyo: "You were attacked by a Rumor, and your mind was taken over by a doppelganger."
- Kazumi: "A doppelganger... it must be the one I met on that street."
- Yachiyo: "I see you're already familiar with it."
- -Umika: "We wouldn't stop talking to you!"
- Kaoru: "We did it 'til our voices were cracking..."
- Kazumi: "You two..."
- --> Umika: "If it had been a shouting competition, I'm sure we'd have won first place."
- Kaoru: "I've never had my voice crack that much, even in a soccer match..."
- Kazumi: "Umika, Kaoru..."
- Kazumi: "Th-thanks, everyone!"
- (...)
- -Kazumi: "So that's how I..."
- Umika: "Yes!"
- Kaoru: "That's how you woke up."
- Kazumi: "So that's what happened..."
- Kazumi: "I don't know how I can ever repay you."
- --> Kazumi: "So it's thanks to all of you that I was able to wake up!"
- Umika: "We couldn't have called you back with just the two of us."
- Kaoru: "It's thanks to all the Magical Girls we met in Kamihama working together."
- Kazumi: "Thank you, everyone! Thank you so much!"
- Kazumi: "I've gotta pay you back with some cooking of my own...!"
- -(Slight adjustment to Umika and Kaoru's lines immediately afterward. Basically the same in English, once again)
- -Kazumi: "N-no way! What do we do?" --> "If I'm *still* only half-awake after all that, what else can we do?"
- -Kazumi: "What does she mean?" --> "Coordinator? Wage? What the heck are you talking about?"
- -Umika: "I approve. Of course I do!" --> "My popularity hardly factors into it, but I approve. Of course I do!"
- -Kazumi: "Who... who's this?" --> "And who might you be? I don't think I've met you yet..."
- -Kazumi: "I-I think so!" --> "Yeah! It's now or never!"
- -Kazumi: "Wha! B-but... You'll all..." --> "I know I'm repeating myself, but thank you so much!"
- -(More slight edits giving Kazumi a more self-assured tone throughout the following lines, plus trimming the line from Kaoru where she double-checks Kazumi's understanding of the plan.)
- -----------------------------------
- Scene [11] (Happy ending)
- -(Ditto the minor edits to Kazumi here. mostly consists of removing ellipses :V)
- -Kazumi: "Still..." --> "Still, the doppelganger might not have attacked them if I'd kept myself together..."
- -Kaoru: "Anyway, you're safe! And that's the most important thing!"
- Kazumi: "Thank you... Sorry I put you through all this."
- --> Kaoru: "If you're still bothered by it, you can always pay 'em back some day."
- Kazumi: "...Are you sure that'll make things all right?"
- -(Ditto making Kazumi sound more sure of herself, in her first line responding to Yachiyo's question.)
- -Kazumi: "That's why even in my dream, I could keep going strong."
- Kazumi: "It told me that I had a place in this world, that my friends were waiting for me..."
- Kazumi: "That's why I could trust them!"
- --> Kazumi: "Even if I was by myself, I wasn't alone."
- Kazumi: "As long as my stomach was rumbling, I could stay alive. I could fight as hard as I could..."
- Kazumi: "Because I have faith in everyone who matters to me!"
- -Kaoru: "Sure is!"
- Kaoru: "So everything's fine!"
- Kazumi: "Okay!"
- --> Kaoru: "Even in a dream world, as long as all three of us are together, we'll be fine!"
- Kazumi: "Yeah! As long as I have you two, I've got nothing to fear!"
- -Umika: "(Supermarkets in different cities...) ...often have all kinds of ingredients you'll never see anywhere else!"
- --> "(Supermarkets in different cities...) ...are prime hiding places for new ingredients and local delicacies!"
- -Kazumi: "But you know what? Whenever I cook fried rice or Kamiha-mushroom soup..."
- Kazumi: "...it still reminds me of the crazy stuff that happened in Kamihama City."
- Kazumi: "And it reminds me to keep going, together with the friends I trust most!"
- --> Kazumi: "But you know what? Whenever I cook fried rice or Kamiha-mushroom soup..."
- Kazumi: "...it reminds me that I'm not alone. That Magical Girls can work together..."
- Kazumi: "And that's why I can face down Witches without fear, together with the friends I trust most!"
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