Out of Body III

"I thought I was being on the cusp of affirmative action myself, Bonnie."
"That's not- that doesn't- just be quiet and let me do my job, sir."
"Well that's no fun."

  And that's about where I started tuning them out. I had to focus on this... bizarre situation I was now in. Staring at my hands, I marveled at how natural moving felt. With my luck, something should have gone wrong. Or there should have been an adjustment period where I'd feel sluggish, or anything like that. But no, in fact I actually feel quite energetic. Touching a hand to my face I notice I can actually feel the faux fur of the hand casing. How am I feeling anything at all? A quick pinch of my cheek tells me that pressure has been applied, but no pain follows. It seems I have some mild sense of touch still, but nothing for pain? Pinching harder causes me to flinch as a sudden spark of information hits me. Minimal damage received to cheek of head casing. Why do I know that? This is too surreal. Looking down, I notice I'm wearing a t-shirt with "FUN ZONE" emblazoned across it. In addition to what seems to be women's gym shorts or bloomers? But why? I was just about to ask when I realized that both Bonnie and Goldie were staring at me. At least, I'm assuming the latter was also staring at me. Can't tell, due to him having (besides a couple stray wires) empty eye sockets.

"How do you feel, Mr. Johnson?" said an inquisitive Bonnie. I thought for a moment then attempted to sum up an answer in a word.
"In a wo- oh wow. Is this how I sound now?" replied a mature womanly voice out of my mouth, to my surprise.
"That's how Tammy sounded, so yes."
"But. I'm a dude." At this, Goldie's eyes shockingly lit up. The stray wires had centered in the holes with sparks at their tips.
"Not with that rack you're not, Timbo." the goldbear said. The wires moved and I realized that the suit was using the ignited tips (which reminded me of sparklers) as pupils, to give the appearance of looking over at the rabbot who glared back at him.
"Oh hush, sir."
"Right. You guys put me in the titty tiger. Still pissed about that. And speaking of-" I paused and grabbed the funbags.
"Why does this thing even have these for?" I mockingly said while jostling them through the t-shirt. Huh. Soft.
"Marketing found that it-" Bonnie began before being abruptly cutoff by Goldie.
"Think about it, Timbo. Bunch a shut-in, no-life, nerd scientists." said the goldbear knowingly.
"I guess that's plausible..."
"It's ridiculous Mr. Johnson, don't listen to him. Let's just begin the assessment. And stop playing with those." the rabbot asserted, before it started checking me over.

  Its behaviour reminded me of a doctor's, with how precise its movements and checks were. It started by shining a light in my eyes to test the ocular units ability to adjust. Then it moved on to eye movement itself. Next was limb movement, and reflex testing. As we progressed, Bonnie explained to me the sensation I had felt earlier. I didn't quite understand it, but basically while I did have some sense of touch, I couldn't feel any pain due to the sensors for that being attributed to damage assessment instead. I will still know when something is wrong, it just won't hurt.

"If you still don't understand, I could stab you." the rabbot offered, as though being generous.
"Please don't."
"I think he'll just take your word for it, Bonnie." Goldie said with a laugh. Bonnie's ears actually drooped a bit.
"Well alright, if Mr. Johnson's sure." Did... did the blasted thing actually want to stab me?
"Don't sound so dejected, Bonnie! It's not science if you already know what's going to happen anyways."
"If you say so, sir." Mental note, don't fall asleep around Bonnie. Wait a minute...
"Do I sleep?"
"None of the usual bodily functions of your previous form are required anymore."
"Wouldn't I need to, like, recharge or something?"
"You are not a robot, Mr. Johnson. You are just wearing the shell of one. There's no endoskeleton within."
"What, so I'm like Goldie then?" I asked, which caused the beardroid to laugh again.
"Not exactly, Timbo. But let's say if we simplify things a pantload, theeeeeen sure why not." it stated before falling silent.
"Wait a minute, if there's no endo in here, why do I have eyes? Goldie doesn't have any."
"I retrofitted your headpiece with oculars as I calculated having them would be easier on you. I can remove them if you'd like."
"...Please don't." Again with the drooping ears.
"Well alright. If you say so, Mr. Johnson." Yep. Not ever falling asleep around Bonnie.
"In any case, now I have to ask: What would happen if you tried to put an endoskeleton in here? Or in Goldie?" As I said this, Goldie's face turned incredibly smug while Bonnie suddenly looked away from the both of us. And there was a soft glow coming from lights underneath the rabbots cheeks. Was it blushing?
"Allow me to tell you a tale of carnal conquest, m'boy! Of science and-" Bonnie lunged across the table at Goldie, cutting him off.
"Bonnie! Here? Now? How very bold of you! I like-" A purple faux fur hand covered the beardroid's mouth, interrupting him again.
"You've helped enough this evening, sir. I think it's time you left." Muffled laughter, followed by a pop, and Goldie was gone.
"What was that about?" I asked, still noticing the distinct glow in the rabbot's face.
"Nothing! Just a foolish fool foolishly thinking he can just do whatever he pleases." I was surprised to see it so flustered.

  The assessment seemingly finished, I found myself at a loss for what to do next. Bonnie then gave me some advice, telling me that since I'll probably be here for awhile, I should meet everyone. Upon wondering what it meant, it dawned on me that it was most likely referring to having a job here. I guess it made sense, plus it'd be easier working with those who knew my situation from the outset anyways. Suppose it couldn't hurt at least. Hopping off the table, I thanked Bonnie (who then commented on how shitty my thanking skills were) and was about to leave when Schmidt came back in looking very haggard. And very drunk. He took one look at me, dropped the bottle he was holding then ran over and hugged me while apologizing profusely amidst sobs. I just stood there dumbfounded, only partially listening when Bonnie said that Schmidt is always like this when he drinks too much.

"Um. I forgive you?" I didn't really know what else to say. It did seem to calm him down though.
"I'm sorry, Ijustthoughtyoudiedandthenwewerejustmanhandlingyourcorpsewithnodecencyandyoudeservedbetterand-" I cut him off via hug.
"I said it was fine. I lived, sort of. Don't worry about it." His wailing was muffled by the endowments on my chest. Huh. Useful.
"Come on, Mike, I'll set up the cot." stated Bonnie as it pulled Schmidt away from me. He sniffled a thanks, then pitched forward.
"ThinkI'mgonna-" and then he hurled at my feet. Which I realized I could smell. To the point I felt nausea bubble up before...
"IS THAT ME?!?"
"OhGodwhatisallthatthinkI'mgonna-"
"Well, more accurate to say it was you, Mr. Johnson. Well, chunks of you."
"PleasenomorethinkI'mgonna-" "WHY IS THAT ME OH GOD IT'S STILL C-"
This went on for a good ten minutes or so.

  After bringing Schmidt to another room to sleep off his state, Bonnie came back to help me clean up the mess. It was cleaned up surprisingly quickly actually, with the rabbot also cleaning out the inside of my suit. I guess that's robot efficiency for you. Once we were done, I found myself solemnly staring at the mop bucket that held my remains (and the remains of Schmidt's dinner) and the garbage bag that held the bigger parts what had been removed from my suit. Bonnie began cleaning itself while I continued staring. Feelings of doubt soon began to creep in.

"Hey Bonnie... is this really okay?"
"No need to be concerned Mr. Johnson, I am a professional. I double bagged it."
"That's not what I meant!" I exclaimed angrily. The metallic filter in my voice buzzed a little with my words.
"I know what you meant." the rabbot stated quietly, before placing a hand on my shoulder.
"The body's just a container, Mr. Johnson. You're what makes you you."
"...Well alright. If you say so, Bonnie." Bonnie's ears perked up at my words and tone.
"It helps, doesn't it Mr. Johnson? The snark."
"...Yeah."

  The remainder of the evening would be for meeting the rest of the animatronics. First up was the boss bear himself, Freddy. We came to a large wooden door that I presumed was the one to his office.

"Mr. Johnson, before you go in, you need to know something." Bonnie had suddenly stopped me from knocking.
"What's up?"
"Do not ask about, mess with, or let out, any of the cats." Not what I expected but okay.
"I should be fine, I'm a big cat now anyways. I'm ready." The rabbot smiled and allowed me to knock. A curt voice replied.
"Enter." I opened the door slowly and eked my way in (as well as an animatronic could anyways), closing it behind me.
"That's a l- er, I mean, hey Freddy." Great recovery, Tim. Wow. Still, all these cats in here were fairly distracting.
"здравствуйте, Mizz Galore." Did he start with Russian? Is my boss a commie? Can robots even be commies? "I assume you are here to ask me for job, yes?" No time to dwell on that now I guess.
"Yes, that's right. I figured it would be easi-"
"You're hired. You will work in designated area of fun having."
"Thank you so m-"
"You will follow mine and only mine rules." He keeps interrupting me. Must be a busy bear.
"I've seen posters of the rules propped up here and there, I think I can manage."
"Nyet. Those are company polices. Not mine rules. Rule One, Don't Trust the Shiny Schemer." Ignore Goldie's bullshit. Okay.
"And the second?"
"Don't cross me. You break rules, I break you. Is simple arrangement, yes?" It's hard to take him seriously with all these cats.
"Yes. I won't let-"
"You will leave mine office now." I nodded and went for the door when I heard a cat's yelp. I'd accidentally stepped on its tail.

  Bonnie helped me back up from where I was laying at the other end of the hallway. I'll admit I was not ready. Up next was Chica.

"Roight, so now you're a guy in drag or somethin'?" Chica was met in the kitchens, being amiable, if a bit wary.
"I try not to think about it." I watched as Chica kept her distance from me. Even her bib said "LET'S WATCH!" on it.
"Chica, how about you let Mr. Johnson try a slice of pizza?" At Bonnie's words she got really excited.
"That's a great idea!" She said as she hurriedly went to fix me a slice.

  After several minutes she handed me a slice. Shrugging, I took a bite. Oh hey, it was actually pretty good. Wait, I can still taste things too? Suppose it makes sense if I could smell. Took me a little while to say anything about the pizza, as I admit I was also fairly distracted by her design (her bib had mysteriously switched to "LET'S ACCEPT!"). I guess she had the same guys who made my suit. The colloquially named "toybots" were next, being found on the stage. Before we had gone to see them, Bonnie has asked me not to mention being a dude whenever the "Blue Buffoon" was around. Assuming this was some sort of practical joke between sibling machines, I went along with it. We arrived and Bonnie introduced me to the Toy versions of the three animatronics I'd previously met.

"Lookie what we have here! Hey toots, why not let ol' Blue show youse around?" Okay, so Toy Bonnie's a dick. Noted.
"Now now, Toy Bonnie, give our new friend some space." Toy Freddy said with a chuckle. Bonnie then went over to talk to him while the blue rabbot had started pacing around me while hungrily looking me over.
"Ol' Blue likes what he sees! Yer gonna be my girl, see? I'll show youse how things are done here."
"I'd rather you didn't." But he didn't seem to be listening as he stopped in front of me. Instead he nodded as if to himself.
"First things first, let's inspect the goods." He said as (with a speed I didn't expect) he flipped my t-shirt up, exposing me.
"Feeling like this is against the rules here." I went to pull the shirt down but then he started playing with my funbags. Sonofa-
"Lookit these things!" Toy Bonnie was far too much of a hands-on animatronic. So I decked him in his stupid caked up face.
Toy Freddy was a pretty jovial unit, up until I got violent with ol' grabby hands. I've gotta say, he's got a mean right hook.

  To my surprise he treated me to a drink immediately after breaking up the fighting. I didn't know the animatronics could consume food or beverages. I also hadn't expected to be able to do so myself. While in their case it's probably just good tech, I assumed I could chalk my being able to up to being ghost shenanigans. Or whatever you would call me now. Which reminds me, I guess I can't go by Timothy anymore. I don't much like the idea of being called Tammy though. Suppose I could put the names together though. Yeah, Timtam's not too bad. I'll go with that. As I finished my drink, Toy Freddy told me that he normally wouldn't hit a lady, but he knew about me from Bonnie telling him such during Toy Bonnie's boundary stepping. I guess he took more of a hands off approach until necessary, but could be fierce if he wanted to.

"Heyyy. I'm here too y'know." said a very mellow voice coming from the stage. It was Toy Chica, who was lying on the stage floor.
"Er, hello then." I was a little unnerved by her appearance, due to her eye casings and beak being removed.
"I'm Toy Chica, and I like to party. But I'm on break right now."
"Why don't you have any eyes? Or a beak?"
"Dude I juuuust told ya. I'm on break." She kind of reminded me of a sloth, to be honest, and it was hard for me to imagine her doing much partying. Unlike the other Chica, this one's bib said "LET'S CRASH!" instead. It also didn't seem to change. Or maybe the toybot just didn't feel like changing it. The next one I met was called Balloon Boy, whose name fit their function. The boybot was accompanied by a moving puppet of some sort, but it never even acknowledged I was there.

  The last ones Bonnie planned to introduce me to, were apparently the 4th members for both the regular set of animatronics and their related toys, apiece. One was called Foxy the Pirate, but to my surprise the other one was not called Toy Foxy. Instead it was designated as The Mangle. My meeting with the Mangle almost ended up as short as Freddy's had been, due to the animatronic being found recharging. It probably could have been shorter had I not spent a good few minutes just staring, as she'd been resting like a snake on top of a large pile of her coiled body. Then she "woke" up.

"Oh, hello. I don't-KNOW- recognize you. Are you new here?" Her voice was surprisingly soft-spoken and pleasant.
"More or less. I'm going to be working here soon."
"That's nice. It's f-FEAR-fun, fearfully fun here." She made me feel as though she were a tad unhinged.
"You seem happy to be here at least, so I'll take your word for it." She did not reply, she only stared at me.
"Mr. Johnson, we should go. Sorry for disturbing your recharge cycle, Mangle, get some rest." Bonnie began ushering me away.
"NO-yes, yes. I ho-HOPE, I hope to see you again." Then I noticed a second head about halfway down the pile.
"Goodbye." It said in a much higher pitched voice. I could only wave, as the two heads went back to "sleep".

  All that was now left was Foxy, and then I'd be left to my own devices for the night. We maneuvered through the Pizzeria and eventually arrived at what Bonnie referred to as The Cove. It was fairly dark in there, aside from a dim light seen from under the crack of some very dark purple curtains. We walked over to the curtains and before I could ask if this was okay to do, Bonnie wrenched them open. I had a few images in my head of what I expected the animatronic to look like. What I did not expect to see, was an endoskeleton sitting hunched over at a computer with "Single Sexy Skellies in my Sector" displayed on it.

An endoskeleton that clearly had mounted fox-ears. And a can of WD-40 next to the computer monitor.
An endoskeleton who was furiously scratching a hook along a trackball mouse to scroll past images. Lewd images.
An endoskeleton whose left arm was practically vibrating with how fast he was moving it to... to...

"I've changed my mind Bonnie, you may remove my eyes."