The Tale of Flufftracks Inc

Slack, September 7, 2014; 16:50 / FB 25613
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The Tale of Flufftracks Inc

(A half-page story in an undisclosed pop culture magazine, somewhere in the future)

Popular music with fluffies as a central theme is not a huge market, but a couple of companies have reached the position where they are stable and financially sound. Many know the "Happy Flufftunes Company", the oldest still existing company that caters mainly towards fluffies themselves. Fewer are aware of "Flufftracks Incorporated": This is their story.

They were just a little to late to the party: "Happy Flufftunes" had managed to scoop up most of the people with both the talent and patience needed to produce smash hits for fluffies. As such, Flufftracks needed to be more experimental and bet their shareholders' money on less well-proven names. They made a dare and didn't restrict themselves to catering just to fluffies themselves or caring fluffy owners, but tried to reach out to abusers as well. Flufftracks famously almost went under with the release of their first album: Füllentot's "Adagio for fluffy intenstines". The title scared away more or less all people with a genuine interest in the well-being of fluffies, and the reception among the more sadistic of the population was lukewarm at best.

Flufftracks then raised a bit more money from their investors and released a few cookie-cutter albums: Nothing that really made it past the more polished offerings from HFC, but at least it was something to show their now slightly nervous owners. Still, they soon turned to the more experimental artists, releasing albums that were barely understood by humans, let alone fluffies. Their experimental ventures famously peaked with Herman Harm's "Shaving feral fluffy herds on the eve of autumn", a three hour, single-track recording with no post-processing labelled as a work of conceptual art. Financially, the album never broke even.

After this Flufftracks once more found themselves in financial troubles. The producers sat down in brainstorming sessions, deperately looking for an untapped but potentially popular niche of fluffy music. The (by now famous) result: Recordings for fluffy passion.

It was to be their flagship, their safe harbour and the proof that they could produce quality records, hopefully attracting other artists. They created a fluffy persona to ignite the love muscles of fluffies everywhere, hoping to be a hit with caring owners wanting fluffy foals in their homes and semi-professional breeders alike.

"The Most Sensual" stallion Enf.

He was to be the Barry White of fluffies, but it soon turned out that with songwriters who couldn't get employment anywhere else, the lyrics became rather lacking. What follows is the complete track listing for Enf's first and only album: "Songs fow Speciaw Huggies"

"Thewe's bad speciaw huggies, but nu bad wuv"
"Pwetty Mawe"
"The Ballad of Martini (making babbehs ewwyday!)"
"Enf, enf, enf"
"Yu speciaw pwace su fine, be mine?"
"Wan babbehs with speciaw fwiend (wet's have gud feews)"
"Speciaw Huggies '28"
"Sowwy fow enfing da poopie pwace, but pwease can do it again?" (feat. MC Prolapse)
"Stawwion Enf su swick, awways get tu dip da..."
"If enfing yields a derp, dunk it in some 'terp'" (Hidden bonus track for humans)

To the suprise of nobody with some perspective the album flopped. The slightly misogynistic tracks written by college dropouts failed to connect with the target audience. It was slightly more popular with stallions, but it was hardly the audible fluffy viagra that Flufftracks had hoped.

Six weeks after the release of "Songs fow Speciaw Huggies" Flufftracks Incorporated filed for bankruptcy.

Curiously, stallion Enf has become somewhat of a cult hit in the years since the album was relased, the tracks being frequently uploaded to Youtube gaining a healthy number of views. The album itself cannot be bought since it is unclear who owns the rights. A holding company bought the catalogue of Flufftracks in the bankruptcy, but has since sold it on to an undisclosed buyer. Seeing as how the market for popular entertainment for fluffies in general has been declining in the last decade it is perhaps unlikely that Flufftrack's contributions will ever be available on the open market again, but their legacy is clear: Back then, in the heyday they were, if for a very brief moment, a breath of fresh air (if not ever popular).