Title: The Paradoxical Perils of Glitchless Speedrunning in Dishonored 2: A Serious Inquiry into the Impracticality of Perfection

Abstract:

The pursuit of a glitchless speedrun in Dishonored 2, a critically acclaimed immersive sim, represents a seemingly noble endeavor within the speedrunning community. However, upon closer examination through a lens of pseudo-scientific reasoning and philosophical absurdity, the concept of a glitchless speedrun is revealed to be an inherently flawed undertaking. This paper posits that attempting a glitchless speedrun is not only impractical but fundamentally antithetical to the nature of the game itself, and may lead to unforeseen cosmic consequences, including but not limited to, the collapse of the space-time continuum within the confines of the Dishonored universe.

1. Introduction:

Dishonored 2 is a game renowned for its intricate level design, multifaceted mechanics, and the sheer joy it offers in breaking the boundaries of what is technically possible. The speedrunning community, known for its relentless pursuit of efficiency and mastery, naturally gravitates toward exploiting these mechanics to achieve the fastest possible completion times. However, a faction of this community has embarked on a perilous journey: the glitchless speedrun.

This paper aims to explore, with utmost seriousness and a hint of existential dread, why this pursuit is not only impractical but potentially hazardous to the very fabric of reality as we know it.

2. The Metaphysical Dilemma of Perfection:

In attempting a glitchless speedrun, one must embrace the game’s systems as they were “intended” by the developers. This premise assumes that the developers themselves understood the totality of the universe they created, a concept that is, upon rigorous philosophical examination, laughably naive. The developers, in their finite wisdom, could not possibly account for every interaction, every variable, every rat scurrying through Dunwall. Thus, by adhering strictly to the intended mechanics, the speedrunner risks engaging in a Sisyphean task of adhering to a perfection that does not exist.

Moreover, the very act of playing Dishonored 2 without exploiting glitches could be seen as an affront to the chaotic spirit of the Void, an otherworldly dimension that exists within the game’s lore. The Void, by its very nature, abhors order. Attempting to impose a glitchless state upon Dishonored 2 is akin to trying to fold a fitted sheet perfectly: an endeavor that is fundamentally doomed from the start.

3. Temporal Anomalies and the Butterfly Effect:

One must consider the temporal implications of a glitchless speedrun. By refusing to exploit glitches, the speedrunner paradoxically elongates their time spent within the game. This extended playtime increases the probability of a catastrophic butterfly effect—a minor, seemingly innocuous action could cascade into a universe-altering event. Perhaps by choosing not to clip through a wall, the speedrunner inadvertently causes a guard to notice a disturbance, which leads to an unforeseen fight, which delays the speedrun by several seconds. These seconds could, in turn, be the difference between the speedrunner achieving a personal best or failing miserably, leading to emotional turmoil, which could affect their future decisions both in-game and in real life.

It is not beyond the realm of possibility that this chain reaction could culminate in a tear in the very fabric of the game’s code, leading to the manifestation of an impossible entity—an Elder Glitch—capable of devouring save files and corrupting data beyond recognition.

4. The Ethical Quandary of Intentional Glitch Avoidance:

From an ethical standpoint, the glitchless speedrunner finds themselves in a moral gray area. By consciously avoiding glitches, they are making a deliberate choice to ignore the glitches that have, arguably, a right to exist within the game’s universe. These glitches, while often seen as errors or oversights, are as much a part of Dishonored 2 as its story, its characters, and its rich atmospheric setting. To shun these glitches is to deny their existence, an act of digital discrimination that could have far-reaching consequences on the psyche of the player.

The cognitive dissonance required to continuously avoid something that is there, begging to be exploited, can lead to a phenomenon known as "glitch envy," where the speedrunner, subconsciously craving the use of a glitch, becomes distracted, leading to mistakes and ultimately, failure.

5. Conclusion:

In conclusion, while the concept of a glitchless speedrun in Dishonored 2 may initially appear to be a worthy pursuit, it is, upon closer inspection, fraught with peril. The metaphysical implications, the potential for temporal anomalies, and the ethical quandaries that arise from intentional glitch avoidance all contribute to the conclusion that such a pursuit is not only impractical but fundamentally flawed.

Let us, therefore, approach Dishonored 2 with the respect it deserves: by embracing its glitches, exploiting its flaws, and in doing so, honoring the chaotic spirit of the Void that makes the game truly special. For in the end, perfection is an illusion, and the pursuit of a glitchless speedrun is but a fool’s errand, doomed to fail as surely as one tries to fold a fitted sheet.

References:

This paper has no need for references, for its logic is self-evident and flawless, much like the existence of glitches themselves.