Look At Me, I'm Nintendo Switch

Look at me, Nintendo Switch *
Clunky and battery's shit
Can’t use voice chat
Till you get my phone app
And now: Online not free!

Watch it! My um, kickstand breaks
I was not build up that well
Had a painful launch
Even grown men got stuck
their straps the wrong way

I can't charge (*Gasp*)… on tabletop (Oh!)
Most of my games are ports (Ew!)
I get scratched using my own dock (Oh that sucks!)

Keep your filthy skins off my plastic cons
Did you know I brick from 3rd party docks?

As for you, my Nintendrone
I know what you wanna know
You’ve got your itch
I'm delaying your shit
You're just Nintendo's bitch

Reggie, Reggie, let me be
Keep HD graphics far from me.
Buy more amiibos
Pay for cardboard and glue

Hey, Wahoo! I'm Nintendo Switch!

…Are you making fun of me PS4?

Handhelds are so touchy…~

***The "-I'm-" from the title is removed when singing so it can fit the syllables (Unless you can cram it in and sound good)