Marla's Tearable Puns

Hey, are you made of Copper and Tellurium?
Cause you are CuTe.

Why don't skeletons ever go trick-or-treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
. . . It's fine, he woke up.

I forgot how to throw a boomerang until it came back to me.

For chemists, alcohol is not a problem; it's a solution.

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

You can never explain a good pun to a kleptomaniac because they always take things literally.