Despair...?

[21:47] "It's not... fair."

She was trembling. Shaking. Refusing the look away from the man as she pinned up right up against that door. As she held Tobias' staff in her hand, keeping that monster still while he gave half a mind to her inner turmoil. There was no end to her suffering in sight. With Tobias gone and his killer feeling no remorse whatsoever Rindou couldn't help it. She couldn't help but wish life was kinder to her. To wish that Tobias wouldn't have fallen. To wish that she could've changed something.

If only she was stronger, she could maybe save his soul.
If only.

I f o n l y. . .

Sors would feel the weight of his sins. Literally. The gravity around his body was being warped and changed, shifting to Rindou's command in a manner similar to the Ultovex' own. Identical, even.

"YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE THEY ALL HATE! NOT ME! NOT ME, NOT ME—

IT SHOULDN'T BE ME!"

The gravity grew strong enough for the man to be unable to deny the change. Snow was pushed upwards and away from the pair of them as cobblestone cracked beneath their feet from the thickness of the world itself. Magic known to few manifested itself around Rindou at once. Her feet hardly touched the ground as her glow manifested itself in a whole new way.

She was green with Envy.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[21:54] Nym pretty much completely ignored Rindou. For one thing, she knew Sors could handle himself if things came to blows, and for another, she was carrying what her father assumed was in her arms; a baby.

With proud, fanged grin, Nym nodded quickly and revealed her little bundle. Wrapped up there in coils of black cloth was a tiny, blonde human. Its eyes were only halfway open as it blearily looked around with wide, amber eyes. They were the eyes of Jessi Ann, the original eyes of Nym, even if the little one bore another surname.

"Named her Zelda. Zelda Clara Lelhua." The glow of a sin did little to make the mother or the infant upset.

Both were already used to such terrible things that lied within.
(Nym Lelhua)
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[21:56] Oh.

Oh god.

This wasn't just an inconvenient time to show up. This wasn't just a bad time to show up. This wasn't even a horrible time to show up. This was, for all intents and purposes, the worst possible time to show up, for not only was Sors here, Rindou had just debuted a... thing. A thing that made the very lifestream around her cry. The sheer negativity that enveloped the area almost made her sick to her stomach. It gave her a splitting headache.

It made her feel like death.

And yet, alas, the Oracle stood firm, taking a step forward, and reaching her hand forth.

"...I don't hate you, Rindou."

She gazed over at Sors- the most dangerous man alive, and shot him a... polite bow? For what little it might be worth, she showed the utmost respect to him. Not out of an instinct to survive, or trying to get on his good side; no, her respect for him was genuine, for anyone who garnered the kind of fear he spread across the world was worthy of some kind of reverence.

"...I don't hate you either, Lord Ultovex. It's nice meeting you."

She still feared him.

She was still terrified of him.

But she really, really wanted to help Rindou, god dman it.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:02] There was so much going on. And not enough time.

"She's adorable. Once I'm done wit' this, ya gon hav' ta let ma take a closer look at my grandchild, Nym. I want ta see-," His words cut off when he saw the eyes of Jessi in the face of his grandchild. There was almost a frown before shaking of his head before pausing.

"her later."

The weight of the Ultovex's sins would be felt weighing down on him. But as he felt Envy's power, teeth were gritted. Dusk and Aurum narrowed in his eyes, as the weapon of Tobias would be thrown to the wayside. The whispering eye was drawn as a rift opens behind him, letting him briefly escape from the pin.

"Loud."

"Stranger. Ain't know ya face o' name. An' I see ya a demi. Ain't real fond o' those. But I'm afraid further talk will hav' ta wait, if only a lil. I hav' something I hav' to handle."

"The world is full o' sufferin'. An' I am the weight o' tha' sufferin'. I am a bearer o' the world's hatred, so I care lil fer throwin' these fits." He turned around, as his own power would begin to flow through the air. A sin, far more corrupt then the seven, would flow from the body of the Ultovex.

Inwards bloomed a desire to die, to give up, to perish. The suffering of the world spread around them.

"An' if you do not accept ya own sufferin' an' Despair, an' only blame it on ma, I will send ya headlong inta it, Rindou."
(Despair)
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[22:09] The wisps of green around her body formed into a veil around her as the man shifted away - warped - taking a shortcut through space like he had taken a shortcut through life itself, or so she felt. Why was hers this way?

Lea's words found themselves hitting a wall of bottled-up pain. Emotions were running at their highest as the young woman pulled a blade from within her own desires. A weapon to defend herself amidst the lies, the mistreatment, the horrible, horrible despair.

She had lost her light long, long ago. And now? Now was the day she'd finally embrace it. Accept it. She had known she had fallen too far as Satsuki Shimasu gracefully put it, but never quite accepted that she would be pathetic enough to wish for another life to this extent. To be closer to that man, far closer than she wanted to be.

She hated that Sors was right in the end.

That she looked far, far better dressed in green.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[22:11] This was too much. It was way, way too much. The cries of the lifestream quickly gave way to screaming, and the sense of fear she felt gave way to that of complete and utter terror. She wanted to help her, she wanted to protect her, and yet, not only did Rindou represent everything she was supposed to fight against...

She found herself with a pair of legs frozen solid from that fear, rendering her completely unable to move or speak.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:11] Nym noticed Sors' smile lessen when the baby looked with amber eyes, but she didn't say anything, probably because of the fight that was breaking out. While Rindou's Sin flew through the air and only mildly affected the Nagual and her baby, Sors' was something that made Nym grimace, and after a beat little Zelda was crying too. The mother scowled and took a few steps back, trying to calm and shush her child back into silence.

Things couldn't have been easy, could they? Even this was ruined by other people making it all so difficult...
(Nym Lelhua)
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[22:13] Asterra would flutter in close towards the demi-angel, though he paused, feeling a sudden -ill- in the air, once again. He furrowed his brow, shivering and fluttering in close to the woman that was frozen in fear, seeming ever so confused.
(Asterra)
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[22:14] Cassandra Invidia whispers something.
[22:27] The wisps of green surrounded her body. To most, it would have offered upmost protection, given even more power then normal. Magma poured over the earth as her blade arm was covered. But Ultovexian ever was a challenge difficult for most to fight.

A life had already been taken that day, the weight of the world's suffering place on yet another's shoulders. But as the emotions ran high in the air, the Ultovexian would press them down into the ground. Rindou came at him with her envy, her weapon, her desire to escape the despair.

But the Ultovexian was more then prepared. She accepted what she was, but would also be forced to accept the weight of it.

The area is small, not allowing for a lot to dodge. It should have worked to her advantage. It didn't. As the area grew shorter, she would find himself impaled on an astral beam of green, knocking her off her foot. In that moment, a rift would open behind her, clawed and darkened hand taking grasp of her head.

"I've always told you you would look better in green. It's jus' a shame to see it ya'd hav' ta fight ma twice."

Into her mind, a seed of his own corrupted power would be planted. At her willpower, there would innately be a voice.

"You are nothing. As long as you fight against me, you will be nothing. They stomp on you because you lack strength. Strength I offer you, but you reject. So long as you do not take my deals, so long as there is a part of you that resists what I teach, you will never be able to avenge him."

"You will never be able to obtain the affection from others that you seek."

The words were dark, hurtful. And they would remain in her mind, forced as an occultic bolt in her brain. There the pain, the want for her to give up, would be imbedded.

With that done, his hands removed themselves from her head.

"Should've taken the hug."
(Despair)
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[22:36] It was no different than the last time she fought him. It felt worse, even. She didn't stand a chance against this man, not one, but it didn't stop her from moving forward and trying, losing her mind as she did. With each blow that refused to connect she lost a bit more. With each bolt of occult force that struck her, her heart sank further. With each terraforming blast of arcane magic that tore into her, she learned to hate her uselessness.

It was not before long that she felt it right where she hated it: His hand was touching her again, moving as if she was some sort of object, or worse, his object. She shook her head, kicking around snow and trying to fight back through that cracked molten shell but... it was no use. None at all.

Rindou's amber eyes flickered between their normal color and the green that surrounded her as a seed was planted in her mind - forcing her to accept her weakness as fact.

Both her hands rose up as she was released. Her knees found the cold snow as she grasped onto her head, blade dissipating in thin air, yet, that green cloaked remained.

She wanted a better life.
She wanted to be worth something.
Her eyes squinted shut, tears rolling down her cheek as a clank could be heard coming from her, a bottle of sorts falling amidst the white blanket.

This was worse than what Sors could have imagined. Far, far worse.

"Even when I try it doesn't matter..."
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[22:45] It was terrible. Utterly and truly terrible. Rindou had been the first to activate their sin, to get ready for the fight, but the Ultovex had been the one to finish it. As she struck again and again with each blow, melting more and more of the snow around them, he would deal his own damage until she was knocked to the floor.

She hated her own weakness, but because of it the chains rattled. As she shook her head, kicked about in the snow, he only watched. He watched until her hands rose u, until she was released. He watched her lay in the cold snow, grasp her head, watched her blade vanish.

Her eyes shut. Tears rolled down her face and he floated forwards. As the vial clinked to the ground, he would wrap something around her neck.

The necklace which Tobias had worn around his neck.

"Not wit' tha' effort. Only I can guide a path through tha' sufferin' o' the world. I've been consumed by it. Only I know the extent pain can hav' on everything."

"Do not resist. 'Fore only through Despair can Hope exist. Only from conflict does advancement arise."

His hand picked up the vial.
(Despair)
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[22:48] Lea had to bear witness to all of it. While it wasn't quite as bad as experiencing it, the past few days of her life had given this tremendously more weight than it would've had otherwise.

Her best friend, who she knew for most of her life, who reached out to her and taught her how to interact with people, had left.

Her best remaining friend had fallen to sin. Someone she had started to love became everything she was supposed to hate, right before her eyes. And yet...

Her feelings didn't fade. They didn't waver. No, they were magnified. They became overwhelming. They forced the girl to her knees, and with the feelings of joy excitement that came with loving someone also came the fear of loss and abandonment. What was once something that had only just begun to appear had now been solidified, becoming a part of who she was. And perhaps worst of all..

The beautiful golden threads that weaved the universe together began to turn a vile, sickening red.

...and with that, the screaming that signified the very lifestream being torn asunder began to fade. There was quiet. There was calm.

And there was the deafening storm that began brewing inside of her.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[22:49] The little fairy didn't know what he was feeling. A sudden amount of despair, the sudden sickening feeling within his gut. It wasn't his own, it was someone else's, someone whose storm was beginning to brew. He groaned quietly, holding his stomach with one hand, and covering his mouth with the other.

Eyes wide, he shivered and floated back slightly.
(Asterra)
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[22:54] She lowered herself more and more. The arcanium pendant that was brought around her neck didn't help any and Rindou could see the world for what it really was, or rather, she could see the world for what Sors thought it really was. She was reaching the depths of her pain, the depths of her need - of her abandonment.

It hurt. Everything hurt.

And Lea... Lea couldn't help here, could she? All she could do was stare in silence. All she could do was observe as her friend was being torn asunder, as their beliefs were being questionned.

Let's create miracles together.

She couldn't do it as she was. She couldn't....

Quiet words were let out.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[22:54] Rindou Sakamoto whispers something.
[22:59] "You did."

The response to the whispered words.

"An' I intend to make good on all of my promises." As he did, the blue eye of his staff would gaze at all who were around. A small nod from his head as he floated back slightly.

The pain of the world and lifestream still hung in the air. Dusk and Aurum looked around.

"Big crowd. I do think I'd prefer small groups. An' is everyone here ta see ma, o' jus' here?"
(Despair)




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---Time Gap---
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[23:48] Despair goes inside and puts on a fancy jacket instead of armor.
(Despair)
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[23:51] Lea looked over at Despair, giving him a smile that very clearly concealed despair of her own.

"Hi, I'm Lea."
(Lea Elisheva)
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[23:52] Rindou kept on looking towards the vast emptiness ahead. Her heart was already settled on how she saw the man. She needed strength and power. He was a means to an end when it came to that but... one day. One day she would take him down. For Agartha's best interest.

She remained silent.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[23:55] A pair of eyes, aged with experience far past that their body suggested would stare towards Lea. Dusk and Aurum would hover on her, staring at that smile which hid her despair and pain. The blue eye of his staff would remain on Rindou as he spoke up.

"Hello, Lea. I am Lord Ultovex."

"I am unused ta cute chickens. A pity ya were born one."

"Hav' you learned it, yet? The truth I mentioned in my letter?"
(Despair)
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[23:58] Cute chickens...? She found that terminology odd, but didn't question it too much. She quickly dropped the smile once he mentioned the truth.

"Yeah..."

I don't believe you fully know how dark and despair filled this world is.

"I think I have... and I don't know if I can handle it anymore."
(Lea Elisheva)
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[00:01] Rindou remained silent all the while, having thoughts of her own to settle, mainly waiting for the moment when Sors would utter that it was time to go and finally get ready for the next step.

But for now she waited.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[00:02] The Ultovexian nodded. There was no branishing of a weapon, no occultism which festered around him. After the outbursts today, the blood, and the wounds inflicted, he actually seemed to have relaxed far more then otherwise imaginable.

"The world is filled wit' it. Pain. Sufferin'. Despair. It is natural for it to build up. For it to be overwhelming."

As he spoke, he moved forwards. The Ultovexian would take a spot, landing on the ground and overlooking the frosty mountain next to the Demi-angel.
(Despair)
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[00:10] Lea buried her face into her knees, her eyes beginning to water.

"All I wanna do is love people, Lord Ultovex. I just wanna show them love and make them feel loved and feel loved myself and..."

A sniffle. Not sobbing, but a sniffle. Despite all the pain, Lea was still as childlike as ever.

"...and as soon as I'm in charge of Levengard, my best friend leaves me because I said one bad thing to him and he thought I'd just roll over and get stepped on by everyone. And... someone I'm starting to love with all my heart became the embodiment of something I'm supposed to hate."

Lea rose her hand up, as a nearby rock began to twirl around, showing she was an arcane magi- of Order, specifically, able to use it despite her shaky emotional state.

"And yet I can't hate. I really can't. I should, but I can't. I should want to do something, but I can't. I don't wanna lose anyone else..."

The fear of losing more people was starting to overwhelm her, completely.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[00:16] Rindou's eyes shifted to Lea when she was spoken of. What she said was... all too familiar.

Something I'm supposed to hate.

It was all that she was, wasn't it? Something the world hated, even when all she wanted was to be someone else. To have another life. The world should be on her side - they should help her become someone else and... not be Rindou any longer.

But instead they hated her for it.

Even with Lea's comment of still loving her Rindou couldn't help but resent it all. The world. Herself. The one she loved.

Life was unfair.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[00:20] The power of Despair was one that drove others to pain and being crushed. More often then not, it was used aggressively. But as Lea buried her face in her knees, with her watering eyes, the Ultovexian would simply take a seat next to her.

"Everyone will betray ya. It is a fact o' human nature. People lov' themselves an' will love themselves to the point o' hurtin' each other. It is a selfish feelin'. One tha' will always occur. Even in lov', one side might end the other if they believe it'll bring 'em personal satisfaction. I saw tha' first hand wit' my daughter."

His clawed hand would move. It would be placed onto the shoulder of Lea as her order began to lift up a rock.

"Best friends will leave ya in fear. People ya lov' will become twisted. An' ya will b offered a choice. Will you accept 'em, o' will ya reject 'em? Will ya put yourself through personal pain, o' will ya hurt 'em a little ta maintain ya peace o' mind?"

"Will you hate the one who's becomin' mor' an' mor' something you are supposed to hate? O' will you accept it? Break from that all intrudin' stance so that you can have a bit of happiness? Do you want my honest opinion?"

His clawed fingers drummed on Lea's shoulder.

"I think the world can take a lil pain if it means one is personally happy. It is full o' sufferin'. Wha's a lil relief from tha' sufferin'? Why not embrace tha' selfishness? Chaos is not always hate."

"It is selfishness, ta look out fer one's personal interest. O' will ya remain to tha' order which will only bring about the end fer the one you are comin' to love? Remain in tha' order, o' which ya hav' alreadystarted to split with your fellow while sensin'?"
(Despair)
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[00:23] The Kitsune would be sitting on the border on the cliff, not the slight fear to fall off and die. She balances her feet as she stares at the full moon with a strangely fatigued gaze.

Lifting her left arm, she reaches a single cigarette that she has stored in her pocket and light it only trough her own breath. She listen to the conversation.

Every has done stupid stuffs... Everyone is somehow singular in their way to think... Everyone is somehow selfish, even if they try to prove that wrong, to fact to try to prove it wrong is a selfish act itself.

Those things are taughtful… She would simply...

Listen to the conversation, merely heard behind the melodic whispers of the cold breeze of the night. She smokes her cigarette, hearing words of despair... Of... Pain.
(Cassandra Invidia)
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[00:31] The man who she felt so terrified of just a few moments ago, the one that was supposed to try to hurt her, the one that everyone told her to hate was actually... being kind and understanding? She knew, on some level, that this was a form of temptation, but her aching heart refused to care about that. In what could be the biggest mistake of her life, she let Sors Ultovex, of all people, into her heart.

"I just..."

"...I just wish hurting people didn't hurt me so much. It would be so easy to listen to you if it didn't..."

Kind. Gentle. Affectionate. All of these were core aspects of Lea's personality, the foundational pillars that built who she was. They had yet to be shaken, for they existed in her at a level deeper than what the events of today and the past few days had yet to reach.

And yet...

"That's what makes it so hard to be selfish. It's not even a principle thing... it just hurts me too much."

...the threads were still red. She was teetering on the edge of that foundational change happening, and in all likelihood, all it'd take is one final push.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[00:36] Even small things like these were getting her upset nowadays. The slight bit of attention Lea was having instead of her when it should have been her moment to grow, to become stronger, to be... someone worth fearing. It wasn't even there. Those words, that despair inflicted upon her mind was sinking further as the young woman stared off forwards, unable to push her mind away from the fact that she wasn't good enough.

.. Even when she tried.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[00:43] It was a curious thing posed to him. the Ultovexian would smirk ever so slightly as the problem was mentioned. Occultism would build up on his fingertips, but rather then used aggressively, the evil feeling would just emanate through the air.

"There are a couple ways ta fix tha'. Because the world is dark. It's filled wit' pain. People will hurt ya if ya don't hurt 'em. Mos' people at least."

"Ya can train yaself on how ta respond ta it. O' if ya open ta it, the brain itself is responsible fer emotions. If makin' it so hurtin' others ain't hurt ya as much is physically the thing tha' would provide fer ya, b able ta solve ya problems?"

"There is a part o' the brain tha' provides tha' pain. I can giv' ya a switch. One which would allow ya ta hurt people all ya want an' not feel tha' pain. Ya would b able ta hold tha' loved one o' ya's, an' when the time comes ta protect 'em, ya could. Ya would b able ta hurt those who would turn on ya."

"It wouldn't even b tha' hard fer ma." The hand on her shoulder would gently brush it's dull talons over hs shoulder before nodding.

"O' ya could learn from experience. Ya could take all the pain ya hav' felt until now an' mor' an' let it crush ya, steal all ya happiness. The world could turn on ya loved one, an' ya would b left ta wander it crushed."

"I can take away the hurt. If ya want ma too."

The blue eye studied Rindou. It watched her stare off holding it's own judgement all the while.
(Despair)
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[00:49] Tempting, tempting... It was all so tempting. Lea had resisted the temptation of darkness for most of her life, and did a damn good job of it. But when it came to it, that was only because people believed in her. They trusted her. They had faith-

And that faith began to waver.

And when that faith began to waver, so too did Lea's desire to resist it. She had simply lost too much, and the words of both Calael and her mother were slowly beginning to fade into the back of her mind. And so, Lea did the unthinkable...

"How could you make it go away?"

...she honestly considered it.
(Lea Elisheva)
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[00:51] Rindou's left hand suddenly jutted out to grab onto Lea's own. Whether it was to protect her or because she felt something was... inherently wrong with what Sors may or may not offer soon mattered little; she'd break the flow of the conversation that much was for sure. A squeeze was given as she spoke.

"Are we going to get to our deal? How long will I have to wait?"

Jealousy, too, played into it all.
(Rindou Sakamoto)
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[00:56] "The limbic system." The Ultovexian said simply. "The brain is a very delicate object. I ain't think mos' mages work wit' it cause o' tha'. But I am a Necromancer. I'ved worked wit' rebuildin' parts o' brains ta ensure they function how they need. I can use my mana an' attach it ta ya brain."

"It'd b a bit of mana wrapped around ya amygdala. It would control your flight or fight. By activin' tha' bit o' mana I could hav' it set up so ya do not feel pain, o' other inhibitin' emotions while it's activated. Ya would b able ta hurt without feelin' pain inflicted on ya."

"Ya would b able ta b selfish. Mite not allow ya ta hate, but it would allow ya ta work in ya bes' interest." The claw released her shoulder, and the Ultovexian smiled ever so evilly.

He watched Rindou's hands take Lea, a slight cocking ofhis brow.

"We will. Tha' procedure ain't fas'. We will begin ya lesson soon."
(Despair)
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[00:59] Lea Elisheva says, "...I'll... consider it."
[00:59] Lea Elisheva says, "But I'm getting kinda sleepy..."
[01:00] Despair says, "Do consider. It does not hav' ta b now."
[01:01] Lea Elisheva says, "Please be safe, Rindou. You and mom are all I have left..."
[01:03] Both Lea and her player go off to sleep.
(Lea Elisheva)