One Shitty Situation

>Rainbow Dash is a terrible cook.
>That's who you're blaming for this shit storm your anus is trying to keep at bay.
>'Oh just one bite Anon, it's good!'
>'C'mon, live a little!'
>You were a fool.
>Now, here you are, squirming in your seat while waiting for an interview at some office in Manehatten.
>Fluttershy and Dash decided to come with you to support you.
>Of fucking course Fluttershy would come with you, nowadays she's all about loving you.
>Trying her best to win you over.
>While it is nice, its not going to work.
>Also.
>Seriously.
>Dash is a terrible cook.
>You're never trying another spicy veggie burrito for the rest of your life.
>"Anon, are you okay?" Fluttershy asks, putting a hoof on your shoulder and gently rubs.
"Y-yeah."
>You check your wrist watch and find it's only been two minutes since you've talked to the receptionist.
>'Mr. Brass Bar will be with you in a few short minutes.'
>You look around and see five other ponies who was already here when you got here.
>Looks like a 'a few short minutes' might end up being a half hour.
>Which you wouldn't mind if your stomach wasn't trying to push out venomous gas that could kill all of Tartarus.
>Your eyebrows are the only thing that's keeping your sweat from burning your eyes.
>It's bad enough you're burning up in this fancy suit.
>You look over to Rainbow Dash who's oblivious to your situation.
"I blame you for anything bad that happens."
>She laughs it off, throwing a hoof a at you.
>"Psh, puh-lease, you totally got this interview in the bag."
>The pain is back again, forcing you to hold your stomach.
>Squirming yet again, you look up at the ceiling, while the bubbling in your cauldron continues.
"You planned this didn't you? Ya cunt."
>"Who are you talking to Anon?" Fluttershy asks.


>Fifteen.
>God damn.
>Minutes.
>Still nothing, only two other ponies have gone, you're no where next on the list.
>You slap your lap in attempt to have the pain be focused elsewhere for only a moment.
>This is just your luck.
>You were fine on the ride here.
>Then it all shit started when you talked with the receptionist.
>And now, you're force to deal with it until after the interview.
>You don't want to be in the middle of taking the Browns to the Superbowl when they call your name.
"Ffffffffffffuck," you mutter. Squeezing your eyes shut.
>Fuck it feels like you haven't took a shit in nine years.
"Jesus take the wheel."
>At that moment, the door to the boss's office opens.
>The stallion walking out of the door shakes his head, no hope to be detected on his face.
>"Anonymous? Unknown?"
"Oh thank fuck."
>Dash gives your shoulder a friendly shove.
>"Anon it's all you baby!"
"Baby?"
>Instantly she averts her eyes, rubbing the back of her neck, "it's an e-expression Anon."
"Whatever."
>You stand up and before you can take a step, Fluttershy slaps your ass.
>"Goodluck~"
>Not. Helping.
>"Sorry for the wait Anonymous," the interviewer says as you walk over to him.
>As the stallion gestures for you to walk in, you notice Fluttershy getting up from her seat, whispering something to Dash.
>"Okay, Fluttershy, see you in a little bit," Dash replies.


>"Sorry, afraid you won't make the cut."
"Thank God!"
>That was quick.
>The interviewer tilts his head.
>"I'm confused, I just told you you're not getting the job."
"Mr. Bass, I'm gonna level with you, I've been holding in a colossal of a shit since I came in. All I ask is where is the restroom?"
>"Oh, head left after opening the door, you'll have to use the mares room right now, the stallions room is under repairs."
"Rightio, thank you for your time. Hope you find a good employee."
>"Thanks."
>You rush out of the room and take a left.
>See the mare's room sign and barge right in.
>Looking at the stalls, you see one is occupied the other isn't.
>Having no fucks on your person, you rush right into the open stall.
>Slam and lock it.
>Unbuckle your belt and drop your pants and boxers so hard they almost shifted into a different time line.
>Slam your butt cheeks on the seat and take a deep breath.
>You blast the bowl with runny spicy shit that stings as it leaves its prison.
>Holding the bars that are on the stall's walls, you had to rock to the left and right.
>With a thunderous growl that sounded straight out something Escape the Fate made, you push with all the might you could muster.
>You pound your fist on one of that stalls walls as your butt cheeks flap from the envenomed gas that's shooting out of you with tremendous force.
>You had to hold yourself down to keep from launching into the ceiling.
>As a result you only crack the porcelain of the bowl, the toilet just can't handle what you've got packing.
>"Oh my," you hear coming from the next stall, coughing up a storm as the wretched stench from your ass invades her nostrils.
>Gagging and choking is all that you can hear from your stall mate.
>The rumbling in your stomach made a public service announcement that its far from over.


>Another throat ripping battle cry comes out of your mouth as your feel part two of the Brown Man's Dance manifesting.
"I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD!"
>And then the deuce drops in such a violent way it forced reality to skip a beat.
>The floor under your feet is cracking from the pressure of this Shit Bomb.
>You rip your shirt off and toss it over.
>It's about to go down.
>The log of turd splashes into the bowl with its watery brethren, causing the cold water to refresh your anus with its presence.
>Another note off the page of the Screamo genre as you shout some archaic language that not even the ancient gods could understand.
>Another push from you and the load was done, you're sweating, lost ten pounds of shit but may have gained two pounds in muscle.
>You're out of breath, a satisfied grin on your face while you look up at the ceiling.
>Sure your asshole is stinging a little, but your finally have a peace of mind.
>After 'filing some paperwork', you're feeling fresh and clean.
>Flush.
>Walk out the stall, and thoroughly wash your hands, and look into the mirror.
>See a pink tail at the bottom of the stall from the reflection.
>Walk over to the the stall's door and gently knock.
>"Y-yes?" a familiar timid voice whispers.
"Fluttershy?"
>It finally dawned on you that Fluttershy has witnessed your exorcism of the shit demon.
>You gently open the stall door, only to met with eyes that have seen true horror.
>"Is... is it over?"


>Trembling in her seat, she only speaks in stutters.
>You slowly close the door back and walk away.
>In the hallway Dash and a few other ponies in the office look at you with concern.
>Even the boss squints his eyes.
>"Well? Is everything in order?"
"I sent the monster back to Tartarus from whence it came," you say as you give a salute.
>Fluttershy comes out dazed and trapped in her thoughts that can only recall what happened a few minutes ago.
>She's still shaking.
>Dash flies over to her, consoling her in an instant.
>"Everything okay Fluttershy?"
>"S-so... loud. The smell. I-"
>"Shhhh, it's okay. Let's get you home."
>They walk toward the entrance of the building and you follow.
>So, you didn't the job, but damn you feel like you can take on the world now.
>You might have completely turned Fluttershy off from chasing you.
>Not bad of a day.