(Bold Italic) I have forgotten how to smile, how to care, how to love... I feel useless... I feel desperate to escape from this suffering... Suicide sounds perfect, but... I'm too coward to do it.

Mum... Why did you leave me so fast... I miss you... I need you here with me. Help me, mum... (Bold Italic)

A single tear fell from my eye onto the white paper of my diary. The sound of my pencil falling from my hands and landing on the wooden floor fills the silent room. I clenched my jaw trying to hold in my tears and squeezing my eyes shut. I lay on my side and bring my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around my knees and release my feelings.

I hear the front door being opened and slammed shut, my dad. I gulp and cover myself with my bed sheet, I turn around and pretend to be asleep as I wait for my father to burst into my room and drain his anger and frustration on me. And he does, after a few seconds of waiting, he came into my room and began yelling.

''Wake up, faggot! I know you're not asleep!'' I flinched and turned around, I opened my eyes and saw that his face was bruised and bleeding, it was kind of shocking, but I didn't care, he deserved it anyways. ''Aha.. Come here you little shit.'' I was so used to this that I didn't react anymore. (Italic) Sigh... Here comes more bruises to my collection... (Italic) I stood up and walked towards him, preparing my body for impact. I stood in front of him, expressionless... Just waiting.

He slapped me hard enough to make me fall on the ground. I was in pain, but I didn't show it, I didn't want to give him the pleasure to see me suffer. He grabbed me from the neckline of my shirt and pulled me up into the air, making me hover over the ground, he pulled my face closer to his. ''Do you like the pain, bitch?'' I wrinkled my nose when his breath reached my nose. (Italic) He has been drinking. Ha... Typical him.(Italic) I didn't respond, which made him furious and threw me against the wall, making me whimper. He laughed and walked out of my room, slamming the door shut.

I sighed and crawled in pain to my bed. I covered myself with the bed sheets and closed my eyes, falling asleep afterwards.

The next morning was quite different. The silent woke me up, usually my father would yell until I wake up, but this time, everything was calm. I sat up but quickly fell back down on my bed, groaning in pain, I began remembering what had happened last night. I carefully shuffled out of my bed and walked to my bathroom to take a quick shower.

After my shower, I put on my clothes from yesterday, which were my boxers, blue shorts, a pink sweater, white socks and white Vans. I walked over to my mirror which was next to my bathroom door to look at myself, I sighed when I noticed bruises on my legs. I lifted my sweater a bit and saw a bunch of bruises on my flat stomach. (Italic) God, I'm so skinny and white. (Italic) I lowered my sweater and looked at my face, I kinda liked my face a bit... Small delicate lips; a small nose with a platinum ring on the right side; dark green eyes with dark patches under it, showing my lack of sleep; slightly long eye lashes; thin, brown eye brows; both ears with small black expansions and spikey-ish hair which was thrown to my right.

I didn't hate how I looked, I just didn't feel confident enough with all the bruises that my father did and the cuts that I had made on my wrists, which was why I used sweaters or jumpers all the time. I'm constantly bullied at school and at home by my own father, both psychologically and physically, I'm surprised I haven't died yet.

I walked away from my mirror and took my school bag, throwing it on my back. I stepped out of my bedroom and walked to the small kitchen. (Italic) He's not here, huh... Oh well. (Italic)

 I stepped out of the kitchen and grabbed my keys which were on a small table next to the front door, I walked out of my house and headed to school. (Italic) Another day in hell won't be bad... Right? (Italic)