Tirk D&D 1- Everything that can go wrong

tirkaroKujo:
So should I start yet, ooooor

Gwynevere:
Oh yeah, whenever you're ready
tirkaroKujo:
because I can totally start RIGHT NOW
tirkaroKujo:
Alright, SO, now that we've gotten that down with, you all start off in a church, specifically the Dayeworn Cathedral, the traditional training grounds/praying circle/boarding quarters of at least a good portion of the Dayeworn Church. The time is just a few hours before sundown, and the Priest/esses daily training has come to an end. Whilst the remaining holy staff all gather their bearings to see their families again, it appears two particular characters are here to put a cease to any downtime before it comes up...or perhaps, make it come all too early depending on what your definition of downtime is.
Thrice:
slightly magnificient
tirkaroKujo:
and for those not keeping track at home

Rana:
The purple haired priestess here is Rana, one of the few remaining Priestesses of Dayworn, along with her friend Kaeri, the (supposedly?) experienced and elderly Gwynevere, and probably some other people who will go nameless for now. They hold a pretty high ranking among Eladrin society here, being members of the church and all, and their training regimen is pretty intense, with standards growing higher in recent years thanks to both the furhtered developments of the church and College, as well as the dwindling number of church members in general.

Kaeri:
I'm a frog!
Thrice: (( sorry i had to eat a pepper in 1440p ))
Thrice: (( can't see straight anymore, let's do this ))
Gwynevere: (( a high-def pepper? ))
Thrice: (( a high-definitely fucking hot pepper ))

Dayeworn Guard:
NOW we get onto the actual good stuff, with our two heroes for now, the former Church worker Myxy as well as the Fox fey Cilicia, make it past the heavily guarded entry point into the church in a long and convoluted sidequest you will never see.
Gwynevere: (( It probably involved a sewer. ))

Myxy:
well we DO both have stealth

Dayeworn Guard:
(dont worry it was kinda tedious anyway, I mean how was any human supposed to know that you had to get hair off some dude to make a fake moustache)
Myxy: (( did we just go through Elfkeshi's Challenge ))
Myxy: (( anything else tirk or are we gtg ))
Myxy: (( orite I forgot I still had this stride energy gum ))
Myxy: (( holy SHIT, note to self ))
Myxy: (( it does not fucking react well with capsaicin ))
Cilicia: (( Looks like those shamisen lessons came in handy. ))

Dayeworn Guard:
Yeah go ahead Im just wondering if Ive overused Truth from Melty Blood too often for church settings
Cilicia: (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_4lIXJ4KwQ ))
Cilicia: (( ? ))

Gwynevere:
Gwynny smiles at Rana, and croaks out "Well, that was a productive session... you did well today, I feel! I suppose you'll be off to enjoy these last few hours of sunlight?" With a wink, she turns her attention to a corner of the room. "I'll simply be retiring to my chambers again, I feel. These old bones can only take so much excitement in one day..."

Dayeworn Guard:
isn't that a little too foreboding
Myxy: (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJXFvwkruks ))
Myxy: (( the only castlevania song ))
Gwynevere: (( hooray, the only Castlevania I've properly explored. ))

Dayeworn Guard:
S-sure why not
Myxy: (( there are plenty of church themes tho ))

Dayeworn Guard:
@Dracula's tears

Dayeworn Guard:
yknow what this works
Cilicia: (( I assume we're up here or something? ))
Cilicia: (( WATCHING FROM ABOVE, READY TO POUNCE. ))

Hey! Listen!:
NOW PLAYING Temple https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r9X-oC6TeU
Gwynevere: (( oh god you actually used Navi I love it ))

Kaeri:
"Ok ok! Don't hurt yourself, you hear! I don't want another situation like the last time you somehow sprained your ankle during meditation!"

Rana:
"Kaeri, I think that was me last time...."

Kaeri:
"How do you all keep doing this!?" Kaeri scratches her head.

Myxy:
Myxy's eyes rush over the scene below, before settling on the oldest-looking member of the congregation, "We arrived. She is here. End of adventure? Oh. Don't shout." Myxy glances at her companion, hoping that such a mild warning will be taken seriously

Cilicia:
Cilicia sniffs the air, her fox ears twitching as she tries to pick up the vague scent she was given to follow. Fortunately for her, her newly found companion Myxy's tracking methods were a bit more...reliable than the old sense of smell...but it would still prove useful in narrowing down the search! "Hrmm...sniff, sniff..." her eyes scan the room, following her nose before she focuses in on the older lady in the middle of the churchyard. Her eyes narrow as she trains her gaze on the woman, "Sooooo...that's the one you have your suspicions about? I'm certainly getting that scent from her..."

Gwynevere:
"Ohoho! You learn to cope, dearie - and maintain the proper pose for the next exercise! Even doing nothing for too long can cause discomfort if you're out of alignment."

Gwynevere:
Gwynevere pays her respects to the remaining clergy members and moves to return to her quarters.
Cilicia: (( Also how the fuck are you supposed to say that? Mixie? ))

Arch-Father Leos:
The residing father for the moment just seems to comfort the remaining priestesses. Even from your distance you can't really hear him anymore, he's a pretty soft-spoken guy.

Myxy:
"Yes. Crossroads diverge, you find answers. All paths collide on her. Follow hers."
Myxy: (( no, emm-exx-ee ))
Myxy: (( yes mixie ))
Myxy: (( or mixah ))
Myxy: (( more accurately... ))
Gwynevere: (( nah, Mixie ))
Cilicia: (( like a Pixie. ))
Gwynevere: (( don't you more accurately this. ))

Myxy:
Myxy sneaks toward the path Gwendolin's heading for, in hopes to follow her from the top level
tirkaroKujo:
YOU DECIDE...to follow Gwynevere, are you gonna try and drop down from there or are you just gonna tail her from above a little while longer

Myxy:
Tail her, I plan to drop down when she enters her room.

Myxy:
And block the door.
Gwynevere: (( like, just to get your foot in the door or something? ))
Gwynevere: (( no objections here ))

Myxy:
with my giant 5'3 elf frame
Cilicia: (( HOW WELL LIT IS THIS PLACE? ))
Gwynevere: (( gianter than I ))
tirkaroKujo:
its lit af fam
tirkaroKujo:
but its kinda dim rn
Gwynevere: (( well actually probably just gianter than this old bag ))
tirkaroKujo:
the place relies about 50% on outdoor lighting and its not quite as strong as it could be right now
Myxy: (( well it's the feywild. ))
Myxy: (( It's literally always dusk ))
tirkaroKujo:
yeah that too i guess
tirkaroKujo:
altho some places are literally always lit
Myxy: (( I have Darkvision though ))
Myxy: (( So, you know. ))
Cilicia: (( Well if it's dim, I guess it's time to be Batman. ))
Myxy: (( Dim light = bright light for me ))
Myxy: (( p sure aggs does too ))

Other Acolyte:
SO HOW GOOD IS YOUR STEALTH...THING.
Gwynevere: (( my Passive perception would be 13 ))
Gwynevere: (( I think ))
Gwynevere: (( 18 bc elf. ))
Gwynevere: (( and having Adva- wait, do they have ADVANTAGE or PROFICIENCY ))
Gwynevere: (( proficiency, so just 15. ))

Cilicia:
"Hmmm, well then, you follow from up hereeee...and I suppose I'll see if I can't flit around down there...should be dim enough in here..."
Myxy: (( damn, passive checks are high ))
Cilicia: (( See? Already finding uses for my Batcloak. ))
Myxy: (( it's treated as if you got a tenner ))
Gwynevere: (( indeed ))
Cilicia: (( Or Bat Skull Cloak.... ))
Cilicia: (( Whatever the fuck it is. ))
Gwynevere: (( BETTER COME UP WITH A NAME FOR IT QUICK. ))
Cilicia: (( DOES IT ACTUALLY HAVE A PERSONALITY? ))
Gwynevere: (( I DUNNO BUT IT HAS A NAME ))

Other Acolyte:
the "I dont give a Flying Fox"

Gwynevere:
I haven't seen any stealth checks yet, but I don't plan on doing anything out of the ordinary
Myxy: (( it's intelligent, so yeah it has one ))
Cilicia: (( Well shit. Now I need a name. ))
Cilicia: (( For my skull that turns into a bat cape. ))

Myxy:
Hmm
Gwynevere: (( is it actually a bat skull? ))
Myxy: (( I AM above you, and humans have a tendency to not look up ))

Gwynevere:
>Human
Tokens dropped onto map 'Chunch2' by player MarthTrinity (Player)

Gwynevere:
we've been over this
Myxy: (( people ))
Cilicia: (( So am I my own weird talking skull thing or do you want the honors, tirk? ))

Other Acolyte:
So let's carry on then; the church staff around dont seem to notice you....yet. Mostly because everyone is kinda dispersing rn and dont wanna deal with that shit.
Myxy: (( But yeah I'll roll Stealth, I have enough ways to play it off if you notice me ))

Other Acolyte:
sure why not w/e

Myxy:
24 Agi wanted me to roll agianst his passive perception

Myxy:
Fuck you agi

Myxy:
I am the night

Gwynevere:
you definitely are

Yorick:
"*In awkward gravelly Christian Bale Batman voice* OH, THIS AGAIN? YOU AREN'T USING ME FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING INTO TROUBLE AGAIN, ARE YOU? YOU WANNA MAKE SOME TROUBLE? YOU WANNA GET INTO TROUBLE?"

Yorick:
i dont know why i remembered that video

Myxy:
Myxy darts between pillars, rolls behind random globethings, and skirts around the edges of windows in her pursuit of Glenn

Gwynevere:
Gwynevere unlocks her door, calmly enters, and lets the door close behind her on its own

Cilicia:
Cilicia reaches down to her waist and grabs a weird skull fastened to her belt, "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew you well. Well, before I killed you, at least. I need you to be a dear and turn into my bat cape. No, no trouble today. Just a hunter and her prey~"

Myxy:
let's do this then

Gwynevere:
iuno where my room is I'll just say over here

Myxy:
Myxy jumps down off the railing above and fires a shot at the doorframe as she falls, jamming the door ever so slightly open

Myxy:
i coulda just picked the lock really but htat wouldn't be any fun

Gwynevere:
"Uggh. What a year... I should have known the past couple centuries were too good to last!"

Cilicia:
And so, a bit reluctantly due to still being bitter about being killed and whatnot, the skull transforms into a beautiful black cape with a skull emblazoned on it. "Alright, time to work my magic then..." Cilicia spins quickly in place as she wraps the cloak around her, transforming into a bat, man. She then quickly flits down from the upper level through the shadows to the older woman's room. Still in bat form, the kitsune-elf-bat perches in the corner as she waits for her ally to approach.

Gwynevere:
"Hopefully one of the others will have some sort of breakthrough in the near future, this interference is testing my patience..."

Yorick:
"YOU'RE REALLY GIVING THESE OLD BONES A WORKOUT. OR ARE THEY YOUNG BONES? TIME REALLY DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD."

Myxy:
With the bow on her back humming slightly and no way to turn into a filthy animal, Myxy grabs the door and pushes it slowly open.

Yorick:
So like, you manage to get towards your goal without anyone noticing....or did they? Perhaps you didn't notice them noticing you.

Yorick:
let's just go over here

Myxy:
She tilts her head slightly as she addresses the old woman, "Hello. I knew you. I may still know you. Did you know me?"
Gwynevere: (( It's entirely possible that I know everyone in the village, especially since there's only 20000. ))
Gwynevere: (( esp since you're a former churchess ))

Gwynevere:
"Eh? Myxy, my dear, what brings you here? And without knocking...? Ohoho, come now, your manners are better than that, aren't they?"

Myxy:
"No."

Gwynevere:
"Well, perhaps that's something you can work on, on the side. Now then, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you again?"

Myxy:
She slowly un-nocks an arrow from her bow, "There is no pleasure in this meeting. Not for me, or for you. There is only one here who wants to speak. But I don't know where she is.';

Cilicia:
At that, Cilicia flits into the room, her bat cape wearing off as she's exposed to the bright light of the room. She lands on the ground in a crouched position, the cloak still obscuring her despite being useless for the time being. "So...you're the one I've been looking for it seems..."

Myxy:
the humming of her bow(strings?) gets more passive-aggressive
Gwynevere: (( un-nocks? ))
Gwynevere: (( or nocks? ))
Myxy: (( she HAD one nocked ))
Myxy: (( she undidso ))
Gwynevere: (( well good. ))

Yorick:
"*HUFF HUFF* (I'D ADVISE THIS LADY TO RUN, BUT I'D LIKE THE COMPANY)"

Gwynevere:
"Looking for? Now, just who in the wilds would be looking for an old woman like me?"

Myxy:
"Plenty. Loan sharks, thieves...fetishists. ...you specifically, barhoppers."

Cilicia:
"And uh...I'm none of those." The young kitsune stands up straight, removing the cloak as she does so. It burns up in her hand, reverting back to its skullomania form, "Just like you're not just some 'old woman'..."

Yorick:
*GERSP*

Gwynevere:
Gwynevere gasps when she sees the young woman before her, a single hand covering her mouth. "But... it can't be..." She looks down the hallway, left and right, thankfully seeing noone unless she does, GM's call I guess. "Come inside, quickly, both of you!"

Yorick:
You don't see anyone....none that you notice anyway. Can you detect auras or anything like that? Not for any particular reason, it's not like anyone is WATCHING or anything

Myxy:
"I bet you say that a lot..."
Cilicia: (( Savage. As. Fuck. ))

Myxy:
a snort echoes through the room

Gwynevere:
Gwynevere's private quarters, from the outside, look perfectly clean and tidy, as one might expect from a respectable priestess, but as one encroaches closer into the room, a minor glamour dispels, slowly revealing more and more clutter. Charts marked with incomprehensible glyphs line the walls, clothing of all types is strewn across bedframe and floor alike, there's no clear place to sit - or even stand. "Come, come, make yourself at home, I certainly have! I just wish I'd known so I'd have time to prepare, there's so much to be said, so many things I'd like to do...! This whole business with the Unseelie ca- ooh, saucier than expected. I'll save you the trouble and lowball that one for you - they just seem to keep coming, don't they?" Gwynevere says the last bit with a wink, she knows what she did

Yorick:
"SORRY LADY IT'S JUST NOT AS FUNNY NOW"

Cilicia:
Without turning around, Cilicia kicks the door shut behind her and fastens the skull back to her belt, "The hell do you think I'm here for, lady?" she asks gruffly, her tails waving with annoyance as her yellow eyes narrow, trained on the rambling woman.

Myxy:
"To do... Yes. Indeed."

Gwynevere:
"It is to me, and that's what matters. All jokes aside - Cici!" She holds her arms wide open for an embrace. "Welcome, my child! Good heavens, I didn't realize it had already been this long! What has it been, 20, 30 years?"

Myxy:
"8 million?"

Cilicia:
"Do -NOT- call me Cici..." Cilicia growls as she bares her teeth, "It's been long enough, dammit."

Myxy:
"You are angry. All she did was birth you. ...is that why you are angry?"

Yorick:
"WELL GOLLY, I SHOULD PROBABLY BE ANGRY TOO BY PROXY."

Gwynevere:
She turns her back to the two, facing a half-length mirror, and starts to wipe away the makeup and other miscellaneous bits of the disguise. "We can certainly agree on that! Now, however did you find me...? I've taken great care to cover my tracks... though with a sharp mind like Myxy's at your side, it may have been easier than I know. But really though, Cici..." Upon this, Gwynevere takes off the last of the charade she'd been maintaining.

Wini:
"What brings you to see your mother?"

Yorick:
"HAD YOUR ACCURSED BERTH NOT HAVE HAPPENED, I WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN AROUND TO PARTAKE IN MY SHADY DEALINGS ANOTHER DAY. SO LIKE, WHAT THE HELL LADY?"

Myxy:
"You are a secret of the church...I stopped at nothing to uncover you."

Myxy:
"It was much harder for me than most who have done so."

Cilicia:
"Why am I angry? Tch, I know it means nothing to an ageless bitch like her, but try being abandoned from birth and left with a father who was still 'only like 40%' sure I was his." The kitsune exhales harshly, "Someone who treats life as such a joke and cares so little about what happens to that which she has brought into this world is worthy of my scorn."

Wini:
"Ohoho, only 40%? Rathhias, such a tease you were! At least it sounds like he was able to settle down enough to do a fine job raising you - oh, you grew up to be so beautiful! Just how many hearts did you break on the way here?"

Myxy:
"One is irrational, the other goads. Do not attack, girl. You would be taught the true meaning of heartache."

Yorick:
"I CAN NAME A FEW....MAYBE...."

Yorick:
"DEPENDS ON HOW LITERAL YOUR TERMINOLOGY IS"

Cilicia:
"Irrational? I think my anger is plenty justified, thank you very much.."

Myxy:
"Father was worse. She did nothing. Literally. Nothing. Hmmm.... HMMM.... Are we done here? Have you been muted?" Myxy absentmindedly turns the arrow in her hand purple and swings it like a pendulum, wondering where this is going.

Wini:
"Ah, I'm sorry, I was being strictly metaphorical. I think you'll find that anger fades with time - it's simply not worth the energy to keep it around. Curse me out at your leisure, sweetie, but at the end of the day you're still my precious daughter! Surely you didn't come all this way just to try to put me through a little guilt trip for something that happened decades ago?"

Wini:
"Unfortunately, my talents are needed to aid in this unpleasant little Seelie debacle, so as much as I'd love to catch up on old times, I simply can't have you loitering around!"

Yorick:
Suddenly, someone comes a whackin, hackin, and smackin' at your door. It seems the life of a Priestess is not one that leaves you with much breathing time.

Myxy:
Myxy chews on the fletching of her arrow, "Oh. You actually do things besides men."

Myxy:
"Do you need this door? It may break."

Cilicia:
"Hrumph...I'm not really sure what I expected...perhaps this was a waste of my time and your's, Myxy, if her age has gone to her head and she can't even see the damage she's done." She shakes her head as she hears the banging on her mum's door, "To be told your mother is dead from the time you were a little girl until the time of your father's death...only to have her act like it's been mere minutes...it disgusts me..."

Myxy:
"Wasn't her lie. Oh, fine. Enter!"
Wini: (( stop that, I'm typing. ))

Wini:
"Only when I have no say in the matter, dear. One moment." Wini walks over to the door, snapping her fingers once to create a somewhat less-convincing glamor of the Gwynevere persona around her. "Yes? Who is it?"

Gwynevere:
She peeks through the crack in the door slightly. "I wasn't expecting another crop of visitors tonight, I'm afraid I may have my hands full."

Rana:
*Knock kno-* "Oh yes, lady Gwynevere? Are you okay right now...? Father Leos noticed some....suspicious activity going on near your vicinity, and I offered to go in his place. You know he can be rather...heavy-handed about these sorts of things."

Myxy:
"His hands did look big...and strong..."

Gwynevere:
"Ohoho, it's nothing you need to concern yourself about! Just a couple of old friends swinging by for a visit. You remember Myxy, don't you?"

Gwynevere:
"And this young lady - well, I'm afraid she had to deliver some terrible news about an old friend..."

Rana:
"Oh....just friends huh? Myxy? I've heard about her, yes. Can't say I've been around long enough....by Eladrin standards....to have interacted with her much....History goes by a long ways here. The flow of time oft feels distorted."

Myxy:
"What would we be other than friends? Enemies? Frenemies?"

Rana:
"Oh....well I'm sorry for your losses, lady. I'll be sure to tell the Fathers that there's nothing to worry about. Is there anything I can do to help during these times?"
Gwynevere: (( the second part was directed at Cilicia right ))
Rana: (( it was in response to the "terrible news about an old friend" line, but it was generally aimed at both of you ))
Rana: (( since it's to be assumed it's an old friend you both shared ))
Rana: (( or at least that's the devious impression she gets ))
Gwynevere: (( right, right ))

Gwynevere:
"I'll manage on my own, thank you. As for Cilicia - would you like anything to drink, dear? I suppose I can afford an evening out of my schedule, even if we're a bit pressed for time."

Cilicia:
"I'm fine.." she mutters, barely audible.

Gwynevere:
"If you insist. I'll see you for tomorrow's training, Rana."

Rana:
"Fine, fine. Once again, my condolences and deepest thoughts, and I'll hopefully see you soon under better conditions...." Rana backs away from the immediate area, and jumps a little upon turning around, quickly turning her head and moving along as if nothing happened.

Wini:
"So he's dead, is it? For that, I AM truly sorry... with my blood in you, you'll likely be seeing a lot more of that as the years go by. Was he your first?"

Myxy:
Myxy narrows her eyes and grabs the door, peering out into both sides of the hallway, wondering what made not-freg jump

Rana:
While there's nothing immediate in the hallways, out of the window and immediate balcony, Father Leos' gleaming and imposing figure sticks out like a sore thumb; closer inspection indicates that his head is wandering about the area; very few things around the cathedral appear to escape his sight; His talents as a watchtower is notoriously effective, and he can keep on his duties for what seems like weeks at a time without resting.

Myxy:
"Hmm...since the time I have been gone it seems that the great father has lost his head."

Myxy:
Myxy at this point is no longer paying attention to the other three people in the room

Cilicia:
"'Was he my first'? He was my -father-! Is it so hard to understand basic emotions? Are you that detached from reality? You've had no presence in my life and yet you act like no time has passed...well it has...for wanting nothing to do with me before, you act as though you believe yourself to be a wonderful mother..."

Myxy:
well I'm glad Myxy's not paying attention anymore or she'd have to smack the shit out of Cilicia for being that dumb

Myxy:
with an arrow
Cilicia: (( why am I a dumb ))
Myxy: (( all are ))

Wini:
"Of course I do! You enjoyed your life in the material plane, didn't you? For all I wish it weren't the case, I've somehow become a person of importance in this church - it pays well, at the least, and few are qualified to undertake the type of research that I am - but this whole business with the Unseelie has just been one migraine after another. I couldn't have afforded the time to raise you anyhow, shouldn't you prefer a life with one of your parents to a life without either?"

Wini:
"That said, I AM here now. And tomorrow, if I can find the time - we're going shopping! Ooh, I just can't wait to dress you up!"

Cilicia:
Cilicia exhales again, "I'm sorry to have wasted your time here, Myxy. I appreciate the help you've provided."

Myxy:
"Hmmm... It's not so bad. I have more insight now. More material. I can put it to use."

Wini:
"What? Hey, wait, you don't mean you're leaving, do you? But you've only just got here!"

Cilicia:
"I didn't come here to 'bond' with you..or go crying to mommy or anything like that..."

Myxy:
The constant humming only gets louder, "Then what did you come here for? To rant, leave, and change nothing?"

Cilicia:
"That's actually a good question...I'm really not even sure now..."

Yorick:
welp, I guess this was a short, easily-solved campaign.

Yorick:
like, comment, and subscribe for more campaigns like this one

Wini:
"The offer's still on the table if you change your mind, honey - enjoy your stay in the feywild. I'll cover the finder's fee for her, Myxy, don't you worry about that. Keep a lid on this for me if you would, hmm?"

Myxy:
"I wouldn't, though."

Wini:
"I'd greatly prefer it if the clergy never found out I had an illegitimate child."

Myxy:
"Oh, so telling them you're a whore is fine?"

Myxy:
"Also, I don't prefer that."

Myxy:
"Corruption and liars in the church...there is a reason I left it."

Yorick:
"OH MY...NORMALLY INDULGING THE DETACHED SOUL OF ONE OF YOUR VICTIMS IN DRAMA THIS RICH WOULD BE A MISTAKE....BUT LUCKILY FOR YOU ALL, I'M JUST CHIVALROUS TO REFRAIN TELLING THE PIXIES ABOUT THIS BEHIND YOUR BACK."

Yorick:
it's still ambiguous whether or not only Cilica can actually hear Yorick's ramblings

Wini:
"Myxy, dear, you don't mean to cause trouble for me, do you? As for lies, and corruption - well, Lady Gwendolyn simply provides me with a convenient way to escape all those prying questions as to my age... we elves may be NEAR timeless, but myself - well. There's no simple explanation I'm comfortable with making public knowledge. It's best to just assume a false identity every now and again."

Myxy:
the humming is now to the tune of over the hills and far away
Wini: (( why tho ))

Cilicia:
"Hmm? I thought you were so proud of me, how much I've grown? And now you're asking us to keep quiet about my very existence so you don't look bad?

Wini:
"Oh, -I- am, most certainly! But the old woman - well, let's just say your father didn't take HER home."

Myxy:
"Run from you if you like, but you will catch up to yourself. Or I will. Yes. To yourself."

Cilicia:
"I really don't care to know who my father took home, or more likely, who my mother took home on top of a dozen other men whom she also took home."

Wini:
"I shouldn't be surprised he raised you as a prude."

Myxy:
"Ooh..that sounds...." Myxy gazes into space for a moment, then wipes her mouth and re-nocks an arrow, "I will do and say what I want, however."

Myxy:
"I do not think you can stop me...or anyone else who has heard us."

Myxy:
"There is at least the one."

Wini:
"Now, just what are you doing, Myxy? There's absolutely no need to draw your weapon."

Myxy:
"I know that. I find it draws itself most of the time."
Wini: (( so uh, are you pointing that at me, then ))

Cilicia:
"Forgive me if it seems hard for me to believe that you care even in the slightest for me or my father considering the circumstances.."

Myxy:
The bow, right now, is pointing at the ground, but is slowly rising upward, like when you do the doorframe trick and your arms subconsciously move upward

Wini:
"Believe what you will, Cici - but I've been nothing but truthful. Myxy, what is this?" 20 Wini looks around, now concerned that she might notice an unseen threat.

Myxy:
well the threat is def seeable

Myxy:
What're ya lookin for

Wini:
I dunno, maybe following your line of sight or something

Wini:
just to get a grasp on why your weapon's readied, since she doesn't believe it could possibly be herself

Wini:
any kind of subtle cue iuno

Myxy:
Her line of sight is moving all around the room, but she's preparing to turn around

Wini:
it's a ninja isn't it

Wini:
I knew it
Wini: (( You may need to pitch in here, Tirk ))
Cilicia: (( Okay, so if I were to Percep...it'd be 1d20+3 for my WIS/INT modifier I forget which it is right now but they're both the same...and plus an additional something else because it's expertise? ))
Wini: (( Expertise was just from Rogue, you don't have that anymore - you probably have Proficiency though ))
Wini: (( which is +2 atm ))
Cilicia: (( Oh okay. It was never changed : ))
Cilicia: (( So +5 altogether? ))
Wini: (( yep ))

Cilicia:
25
Wini: (( that'll do ))
tirkaroKujo:
im 85% asleep but sure what do I need to pitch in here, all I've managed to pick up is some kind of ninja and also shenanigans with the magic bow
Cilicia: (( AM GOOD DOG, BORK AT ALL THINGS IN ALL REALMS WITH PERCEPTION. ))
Wini: (( dunno, Myxy's drawing her bow, or her bow's drawing itself, apparently there's something behind her - you'd mentioned something about the Father Leos being back there before and I think Thrice picked up on that ))
Wini: (( I just didn't take it as an immediate threat ))
Myxy: (( there doesn't HAVE to be anything ))
tirkaroKujo:
He sure is, he's always watching....anything on the balcony (EYE)
Myxy: (( Myxy is after all paranoid and panicky ))
tirkaroKujo:
Well I guess there probably is something there, someone walking at least.
tirkaroKujo:
It's not like you're the only ones on this floor after all
tirkaroKujo:
holy shit that was a nat 20

Cilicia:
Yes it was.

Myxy:
"...Are you done here, girl? Unwelcome in these halls, I fear..."

Myxy:
>nat 20

Myxy:
>Eustace attacks
tirkaroKujo:
Well in that case you very much do hear and maybe see someone, someone who as a matter of fact may be snooping as usual you see.
tirkaroKujo:
I'm not sure if you're actually in the position to be able to see anything outside of the room
Cilicia: (( But I CAN SNIFF 'EM OUT. ))
Wini: (( they were probably walking out ))
Wini: (( and I pursued em, might have broken cover a bit ))
tirkaroKujo:
in which case, they smell like raspberries and a slight tinge of darkness and death

Cilicia:
"Your secret may not be safe very much longer even if we decided not to say anything..." Cilicia sniffs the air, her ears twitching, "Someone's snooping about."
Wini: (( that's the mental image I had anyway ))

Wini:
"What? No one's supposed to be around at this time of night..."

Myxy:
the humming is now to the tune of Stand
tirkaroKujo:
Stand Proud?
Myxy: (( no juist Stand ))

Myxy:
"Hmm...I thought it was strange...we've talked so loudly, and had but a single visitor."

Myxy:
"...normally, however, I do not get any..."
tirkaroKujo:
Of course, you can't actually see whatever the source of that smelly smell that smells....smelly is coming from. Even if you go out to pursue it, you still don't see anything in particular.

Myxy:
hey agi

Myxy:
you still have that globe of true seeing/

Cilicia:
"You can't smell that? You must be getting on in age then.."
Wini: (( I have a Flame Tongue. ))
tirkaroKujo:
Have you used that nose of yours to sniff out anyone using an invisibility spell in the past? Wait, perhaps that's something left to insight rolls.
Myxy: (( you got TWO things ))
Myxy: (( THREE ))
Wini: (( The Flame Tongue was my G item ))
Wini: (( YOU rolled the Gem of Seeing. ))
Myxy: (( FOR YOU ))
Wini: (( I couldn't use it. ))
Wini: (( I COULDN'T USE IT M8 ))
tirkaroKujo:
you're a big guy
Wini: (( I'D HAVE TAKEN IT BUT THAT AIN'T ALLOWED ))

Myxy:
"Sense of smell...strong, but..no match for puppies."

Wini:
"I'm afraid you'd naturally have both of us beat there, darling."

Myxy:
"...well? Where is it?"
Cilicia: (( Well, where is it? ))
tirkaroKujo:
Oh, it's just outside the the room, on the balcony. Whoever it is seems to have frozen up a little, and the source of the scent is now hugging the walls. Seems to fancy themselves a regular solid snake.
Myxy: (( do we all know that or just MT\ ))
tirkaroKujo:
Just MT really, do u have the super powerful nose

Wini:
I could.
Myxy: (( I could make one. ))
tirkaroKujo:
well until you do so on such short notice, you'll have to rely on Ciulillillia's guidance for now.

Myxy:
"WHERE IS IT?!" Myxy's looking everywhere and fidgeting about; the only thing that's steady is her bow.

Cilicia:
Cilicia's yellow eyes dart towards the balcony, trying not to alert the snooper that she's sensed their location.
tirkaroKujo:
That snooper is still snooping good they are

Myxy:
Myxy follows Zelda Character's eyes to the balcony, and nods grimly, "If wings you lack, then show yourself...or this will be very messy for you..."
tirkaroKujo:
You then hear an audible *GASP* coming from the wall, because you just totally startled this poor individual with your whole acknowledging their existence thing.

Wini:
Wini takes the opportunity to rummage through a pile of junk in her room, retrieving a shortsword buried deep within.
tirkaroKujo:
"N-no, impossible....how did you know I was there? Not even the highest level magic can see past this invisibility spell?!" she says while stupidly dispelling her invisibility spell in fear

Myxy:
"...you do have wings..."

Raspberry Death:
"Please, don't splatter me! I don't have- wait, I DO have wings! Dammit, I should have checked first before revealing myself!"

Cilicia:
"Perhaps because you reek of raspberries and death."

Myxy:
"An Unseelie fey, are you? Hm. HMMM..."

Raspberry Death:
"Now from the design of my wings, you may just assume I'm some Unseelie from Colgrip, but make no mistake! You'd....assume completely correct, but I'm also just a pixie, you hear! I do...business with the other pixies around here like it's nobody else's business."

Raspberry Death:
"Information (and money) is very important to pixie culture, so we naturally have a key eye for the WIIIIIIILD and CRAAAAAZY drama that goes on around major cities! Do you know how much these tabloid scrolls pay these days?"

Wini:
"Business, you say? What sort of 'business' do you have in this holy place?" Wini runs her hand along the flat of the sword's blade, activating the runic symbols.

Raspberry Death:
"Ah...smell detection, for some reason I didn't count on that....but that's still not enough to get me to give up my trademarked aroma. Hey, if you want, I could sell my aroma to you for the low low price of 50 GP if you like it that bad!"

Myxy:
"It is good, but...i have...my own."

Raspberry Death:
Raspberry shakes in mid-air, puttin on her best 'pls dont kill me' face. "Oh you know....all sorts of business! Priests of the Dayeworn church are basically, like, celebrities everywhere. It's our sworn duty as noble pixies to record this private information for ourselves and give them to the public! (While at the same time making absolute chamber pots full of gold, but that's besides the point)"

Raspberry Death:
"Wow, from the looks on your faces, this really isn't helping my case with you, is it? Should I just leave?" She says, puting away her notebook and echo flower.

Wini:
>Echo flower

Wini:
u have just made a powerful enemy

Myxy:
"...that interests me... What have you uncovered?"

Wini:
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch all that - are you saying that you're... paparazzi?"
Wini: (( depending on how this scenario plays out I may end up on the lam. ))

Raspberry Death:
"Plenty; Did you hear? One of the elder Priestesses here just, like, totally had a hot, steamy affair and totally left her lovechild to fend for herself! Now THAT's the sort of info the church doesn't want anyone to hear! Can you say S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S?"

Raspberry Death:
"What's a pepperonzi?"

Myxy:
"Oh. I've heard. That was her. Is there anything else?"

Raspberry Death:
"Oh....OH! I see now! You just had this conversation and now you're out here holding swords and bows to my face, YES! I get it now! Uuuuh...."

Raspberry Death:
"So uh, will you let me go if I give you some other juicy info? I mean it probably isn't in your best interest to attack me here anyway, but I'll be a good samaritan."

Myxy:
"Your cause is noble. I would never attack."

Wini:
"If only it were that easy."

Cilicia:
"The only thing I find offensive here is that scent.."

Raspberry Death:
what the fuck did you just say abou tmy scent

Myxy:
"Oh. But the juicy info, please..."

Raspberry Death:
"Phew! Dodged an arrow there. But hey, I'll let you know one other thing; Did you know? The Unseelies are, well, getting a little antsy and are planning some really unsavory business...right here, in this very church no less!"

Raspberry Death:
The pixie checks her notes. "Yes, uh, according to this log, it should be by...tomorrow? The day after? One of those days, some Unseelie are due to sneak in here, break in, yadda yadda, something something, and then you'll be incapable of stopping them from performing a coup on the Seelie cities...or so that's the plan!"

Raspberry Death:
"Y'know, give or take a few spare yet conveniently vital details. I dont work for free you know!"

Raspberry Death:
"Oh, one other thing! Did you know? The Head Arch-Father here, Father Zeb, wore the same pair of underwear 3 days in a row! Ewwww!"

Raspberry Death:
And then Raspberry death goes on about a couple of minor fey celebrities I wont bother naming and probably have no role in the story

Wini:
"Oh, hush! No one cares about that kind of meaningless gossip."

Myxy:
"Oh, but that Elvish Presley is so..."

Myxy:
"Er, yes, no one cares."
Wini: (( oh. ))

Raspberry Death:
"Phew! That was a lot of rattlin'! But yeah, if you don't want this dirt to be revealed to the public uhh....well it's your lucky day! Because I'm such a generous girl, I'll be willing to offer my services of "not telling some tabloid rags about your affair" for a few small payments of 500gp. How about it, huh? An offer like this doesn't come often in your lifetime."
Wini: (( huh. ))
Wini: (( I could tie this in pretty nicely. ))
Myxy: (( who ))
Wini: (( Well, obviously I have to abandon the persona now. ))
Wini: (( but - what if I just pin the disappearance of Lady Gwynevere on this Unseelie ))
Wini: (( so she's just the kidnapped priestess from the pitch ))
Wini: (( using a complete lie as an instigation of war ))
Myxy: (( that would make you a terrible person, then. ))
Myxy: (( and I would have to kill your for your crimes. ))
Wini: (( it would. ))

Raspberry Death:
https://i.imgur.com/9KCIeJih.jpg
Myxy: (( DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE TO KILL YOU AGI ))

Myxy:
"Hm. I would tell anyway. I would not take the offer. What else do you know of the Unseelie plot?"
Wini: (( damn, having a hard time phrasing this. ))

Raspberry Death:
"Bits and pieces here and there. They've built up a surprisingly capable force, one that can easily steamroll the Seelie by now, and dare I say, could perhaps come toe-to-toe with the church. Supposedly the ones due to break in here are the 4 Muskefears, pretty high ranking Unseelie soldiers. Plus, have you seen their leader? One-Eyed Scy is so awesome, she can cut through space itself! She's so dreamy~!"

Raspberry Death:
and holy SHIT I just realized Scy is an unintentional pun on Cyclops

Myxy:
you moron

Myxy:
"...musky...fears...Do they wear the same perfume as you?"

Cilicia:
"I can only hope not. My poor nose has already been assaulted enough."

Myxy:
"So four are coming to attack...hmm.."
Cilicia: (( I just realized this map is called "Chunch 2" ))
Raspberry Death: (( i didnt even realized the name shows up ))
tirkaroKujo:
its a in joke based on this image i couldnt stop laughing at for some reason http://41.media.tumblr.com/5984a07a8984342df22416de51c2cdf7/tumblr_o2196aj1LB1s8bw8vo1_1280.png
Myxy: (( is Agi gonna do anything ))
Wini: (( Contemplating the full implications of my actions. ))
Wini: (( but that's boring, so fuck it. ))

Wini:
"And attack they will, especially now that Lady Gwynevere is dead." Wini emerges from her room, having gathered up enough of her belongings, scrolls stuffed into overloaded bags on all sides. She barks a word in elvish, igniting her sword in flames. "Have a fun time with this at the tabloids, reporter!" With a slashing action, she coats the whole room in flames. "Don't worry, the walls are reinforced, the fire won't spread beyond that room - I've been ready for the day this persona would be compromised, I just didn't expect it to be so soon!"
tirkaroKujo:
oh nooo

Myxy:
you

Myxy:
you realize we're on the BALCONY

Myxy:
which is NOT CONNECTED TO ANY OTHER ROOMS.
Wini: (( that's where my room's been all this time ))
Wini: (( we've been standing right outside it ))
Myxy: (( Agi we're on the balcony outside your room ))

Raspberry Death:
The tabloid pixie isn't sure how to react to this, but from her lack of any real context all she can give off is a look that says https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtK0KMH-8xs
Myxy: (( hundreds of feet in the air ))
Wini: (( And I have a broom. ))
Myxy: (( which holds one person ))
Wini: (( It holds me. ))
Wini: (( You guys have fun. ))

Myxy:
"....What are you doing?! I cannot walk through fire!"

Wini:
You don't have to?

Cilicia:
"And you thought I was being irrational..."

Wini:
There's a door, it's contained.
Myxy: (( Okay, Agi, look ))
Myxy: (( for starters no there is not a door in ancient greek balconies ))

Raspberry Death:
there is here
Myxy: (( or like any ancient balconies, doors were pretty rare ))
Myxy: (( also doors are made ))
Myxy: (( of ))
Myxy: (( WOOD. ))
Wini: (( We established this entire scene with you shooting an arrow into my door. ))
Myxy: (( From the HALLWAY. ))
Myxy: (( we're on the other end of the room, on the BALCONY of the room, not in the hallway ))
Wini: (( Your interpretation of the scene is wrong, it's my room ))
Cilicia: (( Yeah, we're basically trapped on the balcony from what I gathered. ))
Myxy: (( We are now trapped on the balcony ))

Raspberry Death:
yup, it sure is a balcony
Myxy: (( with fire in between us and the hallway ))

Raspberry Death:
nah there's an exit from the balcony
Wini: (( the hallway is PART OF THE BALCONY (D) ))
Myxy: (( how does that even work ))

Raspberry Death:
basic fire safety
Wini: (( a balcony is just like an overlook ))
Wini: (( this one is clearly in front of my room ))
Wini: (( I can't believe we're arguing about this ))
Myxy: (( how many hotel rooms have you stayed in that had balconies connected to hallways but anyway ))
Myxy: (( for all intents and purposes we;'re on fire. ))
Cilicia: (( I'm literally picturing Peach's room in Paper Mario ))

Raspberry Death:
this isnt a hotel
Myxy: (( Pretty much yeah @ MT ))

Raspberry Death:
I mean it's basically what it looks like on the image
Raspberry Death: (( note to self I guess maps are ok sometimes ))
Myxy: (( so are you saying we never went into the room? ))
Wini: (( come on it doesn't get simpler ))
Wini: (( we went into the room, we EXITED the room when Cilicia started to leave ))
Myxy: (( i didn't ))
Raspberry Death: (( you....did go in the room, then you went out to see the dam fairy ))
Wini: (( ^ ))
Myxy: (( okay for the record ))
Myxy: (( let us never again use "balcony" to refer to something on the inside of a building ))
Myxy: (( in a medieval greek structure ))
Raspberry Death: (( what's a better term then ))
Wini: (( it's an open-air building ))
Myxy: (( hallway ))
Myxy: (( or hell, banister ))
Raspberry Death: (( hallway implies it is indoors too much i dont like it ))
Wini: (( SURE, WE'RE ON THE BANISTER. ))

Wini:
POINT BEING.
Myxy: (( we really needed a top-down map here ))
Myxy: (( or at least some description ))
Cilicia: (( I was literally imagining Princess Peach's room. Like door into it, balcony on the other end ))
Myxy: (( Me too, partially because like what kind of flying fairy spy goes inside a place to spy on it instead of just hanging around the outside ))
Wini: (( there's no roof ))
Wini: (( all is outside ))
Myxy: (( that doesn't even make sense ))
Myxy: (( it rains ))
Wini: (( You like rain. ))
Myxy: (( it also doesn't really help that the door is made of wood. ))
Wini: (( I already said I reinforced things, you're fine. ))
Wini: (( I've had 500 years to plan this. ))

Myxy:
"...church is on fire. Your fault. You blamed your daughter. Also me. There is no escape."

Wini:
"Well? Feel free to pin this on whoever you like - the mischievous Unseelie or the mysterious white-haired woman. Either way, I'm sure the bit about the affair simply pales in comparison to THIS sort of scoop, hm? Oh, and Cici - enjoy your stay in the Feywild. I think you'll come to like it here!"
Myxy: (( I only have one spell that won't harm you ))
Myxy: (( Well, two. ))
Myxy: (( But one conjures EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE WEBS. ))

Cilicia:
"See, this is why I didn't feel like I was being irrational. This is exactly the kind of behavior my father warned me of."
Raspberry Death: (( there ))

Myxy:
..that one spell

Myxy:
Is a Wisdom save.

Myxy:
I'm just killing you.

Wini:
Wini rolls her eyes. "Stop your worrying, Myxy. I've had centuries to prepare this room."

Wini:
Gonna just mount my broom and fly off.

Myxy:
let me check something

Myxy:
Yeah I can do this I think

Raspberry Death:
"I mean uh....hmm...that's an...interesting uh...I mean....uuuhh....please dont hurt me!"

Myxy:
Bonus Action - cast Charged Missle, actual Action - Ready to shoot the shit out of her if she flies off

Myxy:
"...if you move, you never will again."
Raspberry Death: (( im gonna guess my amazing 50 hours in paint tool sai map didnt load :^( ))
Cilicia: (( It did. ))
Wini: (( they did ))
Raspberry Death: (( gud ))
Wini: (( you explained it just as I would have ))
Raspberry Death: (( well now its in map form ))
Wini: (( Let's see now ))

Myxy:
Myxy's bow crackles with lightning and glows a vibrant blue, while the humming begins to turn into nonsensical singing, kind of like a latin choir
Wini: (( what would be the most ridiculous thing to turn into and ride my broom into the sunset ))

Myxy:
It's pointed at Wini, but it isn't steady; it hovers slowly up and down, as if searching for a place to shoot. It finally settles on the eye area.

Raspberry Death:
"Actually, perhaps the mysterious white haired woman WAS an Unseelie....hmm..."
Wini: (( can I turn into an armadillo ))

Myxy:
"Only you can stop yourself now. My will is set...the die is cast, alea jacta est."
Wini: (( I'm really feeling the armadillo. ))
Myxy: (( check the rules for wildshape kid ))

Raspberry Death:
"Eh whatever, I'll work out the details when I get home...I mean, EEK! You still shouldn't hurt me!" The Pixie begins to fly away now.
Wini: (( I'm not finding armadillo in the SRD (sad) ))
Myxy: (( they're not even in the monster manual ))
Cilicia: (( Myxy's Bow ))
Cilicia: (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBergisxm60 ))

Raspberry Death:
its literally just singing it

Myxy:
nah it's less ominous latin chanting and more 1 cull away from intelligible language

Myxy:
cuil?
Wini: (( cuil ye ))
Wini: (( so apparently the broom can support up to 400 pounds. ))
Wini: (( how much does a bear weigh? ))

Cilicia:
More than 400 pounds.

Myxy:
a little over half that

Myxy:
for the average black bear
Wini: (( it's a brown bear tho. ))

Wini:
220 – 1,400 lbs Adult

Wini:
that is REMARKABLY noncomittal.
Myxy: (( adult humans can weigh between 90 and 1000 pounds. ))

Wini:
tru.
Cilicia: (( Google search says 600 for male grizzlies ))
Cilicia: (( Which you clearly are. ))
Wini: (( What does it say for female ))

iYAMAU:
The singing slowly grows louder and louder, until it finally erupts into a scream "JUST LEMME SHOOT HER

iYAMAU:
"
Cilicia: (( Why would you need to know that? ))

Wini:
"Sorry, Myxy - can't let you stop me!" SHIFTING INTO A BEAR AND RIDING MY FUCKING BROOM.
Raspberry Death: (( waoh wtf why is maptools notification thing so quiet now ))

iYAMAU:
well

iYAMAU:
transforming probably counts as moving.
Raspberry Death: (( oh is this actual combat now ))

Wini:
Nah man.

Wini:
I transformed

Wini:
THEN moved.

iYAMAU:
I readied an action to shoot her with a superarrow if she moved

Wini:
Wording.

iYAMAU:
You get shot either way, they difference

iYAMAU:
is that now you're above ground

iYAMAU:
meaning you will fall
Raspberry Death: (( rip ))
Wini: (( I really need to get a new mouse ))

iYAMAU:
IF

iYAMAU:
I cna even hit you

Wini:
Tokentool hates this one
Wini: (( I can't zoom out ))

iYAMAU:
well A: zooming in tokentool is ass anyway
Raspberry Death: (( pull the trigger piglet ))
Wini: (( It's seriously tokentool specifically and I don't understand it. ))
Tokens dropped onto map 'Chunch2' by player Thrice (Player)

iYAMAU:
B, there

iYAMAU:
7

iYAMAU:
oh

iYAMAU:
oh christ.

Wini the Pooh:
I realized I had to do this midway through

Wini the Pooh:
don't hate me cuz u ain't me

iYAMAU:
"Eeyahahaha! Yes! Truly has it been much too long, I was feeling as if I were to be exploding! Oh, hm, the feeling is returning..."

iYAMAU:
what happens, tirk

iYAMAU:
I rolled a nat 1 on that attack roll

iYAMAU:
with an attack that would normally do..

iYAMAU:
26
Raspberry Death: (( i know i know ))
Raspberry Death: (( im thinking ))

Wini the Pooh:
Wini tries to precariously balance herself on all fours on the broom, realizes after a few fumbles the sheer impracticality of that, and settles for awkwardly sitting sideways

iYAMAU:
with 17 of that being lightning damage

iYAMAU:
We could roll on the Wild Magic table?
Cilicia: (( So agi is basically setting himself up to be the PC final boss at this rate. ))
Raspberry Death: (( what's that ))

Wini the Pooh:
nah. I'm 100% on your guys' side still.

iYAMAU:
a sorcerer thing
Cilicia: (( I remember my IRL D&D character was set to have Wild Magic. ))

iYAMAU:
just roll unti la negative effect comes along
Cilicia: (( Shit's fun ))
Wini the Pooh: (( if you guys take the fall I'll show up and bust you out. ))

iYAMAU:
71

iYAMAU:
that's not negative

iYAMAU:
62

iYAMAU:
For the next minute, you must shout when you speak. 61-62

iYAMAU:
that uh

iYAMAU:
might be?
iYAMAU: (( wasn't there a wild magic thing in the feywild book ))
Raspberry Death: (( oh I was more thinking along the lines of ))
Raspberry Death: (( yep that arrow is definitely gonna hit someone important ))
iYAMAU: (( hm apparently not @ feywild thing ))
Cilicia: (( You're about to cripple everyone and start a war. Because my mom is a bitch ))

iYAMAU:
37

iYAMAU:
37-38 1d6 flumphs controlled by the DM appear in unoccupied spaces within 60 feet of you and are frightened of you. lhey vanish after 1 minute.

iYAMAU:
well

iYAMAU:
that's hilarious

iYAMAU:
but I'm not sure if that's negative
Raspberry Death: (( your arrow hits a planar sphere that floods the place with flumpfs ))

iYAMAU:
But yeah you can make it hit someone

Wini the Pooh:
I vote to bring in the flumphs.

iYAMAU:
60

Wini the Pooh:
FLUMPHS.

iYAMAU:
74 84
Raspberry Death: (( I only wish I introduced any other substantial characters to kill off arbitrarily based on a nat 1 ))

Wini the Pooh:
>place becomes filled with flumphs
iYAMAU: (( well i mean they can just take the damage ))

Wini the Pooh:
>flumphs get pinned on the murder

Wini the Pooh:
or uh, murder gets pinned on flumphs
Raspberry Death: (( ok ok hold on this is a doozy ))

iYAMAU:
MT

iYAMAU:
just kill your mom

iYAMAU:
with your JAVELIN OF LIGHTNING

Wini the Pooh:
but can you
Cilicia: (( She may be absolutely terrible as a mom and absolutely batshit insane but I can't just kill my mum. ))

Raspberry Death:
With an absolutely absurd stroke of unfortunate luck, your arrow misses Winnie by a county mile; while at the same time, Leos the Arch-Father seems to be making his way up the stairs in a visibly snappish fashion; I told yall, the dude can easily see everything around the church, you think he didnt see your little escapade? But on his way to stop that nonsense once and for all, he looks up and *WHAM!* arrow straight to the face!

Wini the Pooh:
ohhh fuck.

iYAMAU:
"YES! RIGHT IN THE EYE!"

Raspberry Death:
He waddles around in pain, groaning for in the loudest voice anyone has ever heard him speak, and then falls off of the entire balcon...hallway....whatever

Myxy:
Myxy glances down at her weapon for a moment, then nods and stares into oblivion, "That's bad."

Wini the Pooh:
You really

Cilicia:
"That's...probably like declaration of war bad, yes."

Wini the Pooh:
really should have argued for the flumphs.

Raspberry Death:
on his way down, he accidentally tumbles over one of the Church's prized planar archstones, sending it into wildcard mode, and opening up a portal to the flumph dimension. They all sorta witness the gruesome sight in front of them and promptly all head back into the portal and comically zip it up.

Raspberry Death:
Of course, just a few moments later, an Acolyte sees the body, screams at the top of her lungs, and runs back into the bulding

Arch-Father Leos:
rip me

Cilicia:
"We...should probably get out of here, quickly."

iYAMAU:
"Yaaaay! Did you see that? Did you see it?! That was wonderful! I could not believe my sensing sensors!"

Myxy:
"We are doomed."

Myxy:
"..on the bright side, perhaps the Unseelie will accept us."

Wini the Pooh:
Wini hears the scream, assumes it's because of the fire, and carries on getting the heck outta dodge.

Yorick:
"I DIDNT DO IT! I'M INNOCENT! I SWEAR!"

Myxy:
Well, we're lucky.

Myxy:
I have one 2nd level spell slot left after that

Raspberry Death:
*Whilst flying away* "Uhh...did the Unseelie strike already? That was sure on short notice. Guess I should report this!"

Myxy:
"At this point it is futile no matter what we do...Hmm...HMMM...do you want to escape?"

Cilicia:
"That would probably be for the best..." Cilicia sighs, "Now do you see how insane my mother is? Regardless, we have to get out of here quickly. No sense in us getting dragged into this anymore than we already have been..."
Cilicia: (( Also yeah, you've fucked us royally, agi ))

Myxy:
"HMM...then hold onto me...oh, but with you so much heavier than I...I hope it does work..."
tirkaroKujo:
to be peeeerfectly fair nobody actually knows it was you yet because the last person who could have known is now dead
tirkaroKujo:
so perhaps it is best to....act natural

Myxy:
the fairie probably knows.

Wini the Pooh:
Rana knows they were THERE.
tirkaroKujo:
I thought I made it clear she didnt know who caused it
Myxy: (( that is also true ))

Wini the Pooh:
So they'd be the top suspects
tirkaroKujo:
and just went "eh I guess it was unseelie"
Myxy: (( We're outsiders and thus the prime suspects ))
Cilicia: (( Yeah, she knows we were there. Then trouble happened. Also you literally have a talking bow and there's an arrow sticking out of his face. ))

Wini the Pooh:
The bow would confess in a heartbeat.
tirkaroKujo:
that dam bow
Cilicia: (( He's proud of it. ))
tirkaroKujo:
but yeah im tired and i want sleep, is this a good/awkward enough place to end off

Myxy:
it's a she
Cilicia: (( Yeah, it's fine. ))

Myxy:
and yeah it's gud
tirkaroKujo:
next session is a forced stealth mission

Myxy:
well tbh

Myxy:
i was just gonna cast Levitate

Myxy:
and float us down
tirkaroKujo:
I didnt say it was a difficult stealth mission

Myxy:
slowly, b/c levitate is not fast.

Myxy:
Also if we get hit and I lose concentration we die.

Myxy:
oh wait no we float gently down the stream

Myxy:
k cool

Cilicia:
SO

Cilicia:
MY MOM IS A CRAZY BITCH

Cilicia:
I FUCKING TOLD YOU : |

Myxy:
yes, she is

Wini the Pooh:
CRAZY

Myxy:
and I am an unlucky one.

Wini the Pooh:
LIKE A FOX : |

Cilicia:
And you were like "Nah, you're being irrational."

Myxy:
well

Myxy:
at that time she had done LITERALLY nothing to you

Myxy:
NOW

Cilicia:
AND THEN SHE LIGHTS A ROOM ON FIRE, TURNS INTO A BEAR AND FLIES AWAY TO LEAVE US TO DEAL WITH A DEAD PRIESTESS.

Myxy:
we have reason to be angry with her

Myxy:
priest

Myxy:
he was the head of the church or something

Arch-Father Leos:
Dead and misgendered :^(

Myxy:
and i shot him in the eye

Wini the Pooh:
Technically

Wini the Pooh:
two dead priest/esses.

Cilicia:
I meant Wini

iYAMAU:
Or well, I did.

iYAMAU:
OH YEAH/

Cilicia:
Or Gwynevere as I guess people know her as.

iYAMAU:
We're blamed for

iYAMAU:
TWO

iYAMAU:
murders.

iYAMAU:
And we are DEFINITELY the prime suspects in them both

iYAMAU:
because we were seen by Rana with Gwyn.

Cilicia:
It wasn't us, the bear that flew away on the magic broomstick is actually Gwyn.

iYAMAU:
And also the head guy died from an arrow to the fucking eye

Cilicia:
Fuck you, mom.

Cilicia:
You a bitch.

iYAMAU:
a magical arrow wreathed in lightning

Cilicia:
OF ALL THE ROLLS TO NAT 1

iYAMAU:
guess who's the only one for years around with a magic bow

Cilicia:
REALLY BRUH?

Arch-Father Leos:
Now now he didnt die from that

Arch-Father Leos:
he died from fall damage

Arch-Father Leos:
technically

Cilicia:
Dad forgot the golden rule

Cilicia:
Never stick your dick in crazy.

Wini the Pooh:
Oh, he didn't know me long enough for the crazy to come out

iYAMAU:
you're crazier than the trigger-happy bow
Agi has connected.

Cilicia:
"Welp. My cushy priestess job is over now that I'm about to be outted as having an illegitimate child...better kill myself off and burn the room to the ground."

Myxy:
"And blame it on my daughter."
Agi is disconnected.

Myxy:
"Also some random chick."
Agi has connected.

Myxy:
what
Agi:
just transitioning to the laptop
Agi:
stuck on 18/19