The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee Vol. 3

December 29th

Romie ended up teleporting to the castle again, only this time she grabbed Rudolf and a cart to haul our latest find. We made it back to the castle late that night. I was almost passing by the time we did, but mission accomplished.  I personally wanted the nuke where I could see it, but Romie exercised the wife veto and said no, I couldn’t sleep with the weapon of mass destruction. Well... it was her room we were staying in any way.

She assured me that it would be safe in the stables and that no one would touch it. Thinking back, I suppose I was so damn tired that I would have agreed to anything.

Before my eyes closed for the final time that night, my Cheshire kissed me on the cheek and I let out a small prayer to whoever or whatever that was out there,

Please, don’t let it happen again....

I opened my eyes to the sun rising over crashing waves and a sandy beach. The sound of sea-gull calls over head and the salt air on the wind. Looking around, I saw high rises behind me and off to the distance. This seemed all very familiar, but from where? Taking a deep breath of the ocean air,  I walked over to a little food shack behind me. I stared at the peeling red paint on it’s  front and the faded menu above the order window. Tacos, burgers, fries and hot dogs, all beach style food, then it came to me. I was in Florida! This was the last vacation I went on with my folks, before going to college! I remember now... we went to SeaWorld, the beach and Disney World.

But why was I here and where was everyone? This beach should be packed full, and yet I was alone.

I walked back to the water and stared out into the surf. The hypnotic sound of the waves were both relaxing and comforting, I wanted to stay here forever but yet, I felt as if I was forgetting something or someone...  What though?

“It’s amazing, I never thought that it would be so beautiful here... Sad they’ll ruin it all.” Called a feminine voice.

I looked over to see a gorgeous blonde woman in a yellow sun dress standing some feet away, looking out to the sea. She looked back at me and gave a warm smile. A part of me realized that I should have been wary and yet I felt nothing but peace and calm.

“Who are you?” I asked loudly amidst the crash of the waves.

“The other side of the coin!” She replied with a grin as she walked towards me. Her bare feet kicking up sand as she came closer and closer.

“I don’t understand,” I said to her as she reached me,

“Is this a dream?”

“It could be.” The woman said with a teasing, enigmatic expression. She looked to be my age - in her early 20’s, wearing deep red lip stick and some light make up. Her dress was cut low, exposing a generous amount of cleavage, and high, showing off her shapely tanned legs.

I blinked and suddenly we were in front of a huge aquarium filled with fish. It took me a moment but then I realized we were at SeaWorld!

“Mind showing me around?” She asked through half lidded eyes and a charming smirk.

“Sure,” I smiled in return as I offered up my arm to her.  She threaded her own through it and we toured the empty park.

I showed her the orcas, the penguins and dolphins, she was even brave enough to touch a sting ray at the petting pool, although she did scream a little when they splashed her. As we laughed and had fun, there was still this nagging, forgetful feeling I had. As hard as I tried to remember, I couldn’t as if it was something just out of reach.

I blinked again and we found ourselves in front of Cinderella’s castle as we continued our walk, now through Disney World. We visited Epcot center, saw all the rides, had a day of it really as she asked me question after question about the things we saw.

”I still don’t see the attraction of having a large mouse as an ambassador,” She said, making a face as we walked through a souvenir store chalked full of mouse stuff.

I smiled at that and replied, “Well if you can find out where they’re keeping Walt cryogenically frozen, then maybe we’ll go thaw him out and ask why.”

She gave me an odd look then shook her head with a chuckle as we carried on.

After another blink we ended up right where we started at the beach. A wave of confusion washed over me and I glanced out to the ocean as if it would offer some answers. Looking back, I saw she was sitting on a large towel that wasn’t there before. Looking up at me with a smile, she patted the empty space next to her in invitation.

I sat down and drew my knees up to my chest as we silently enjoyed the view together. She leaned herself against me as we watched the sun getting low in the sky.

”What did you mean- they’ll ruin it all?” I finally asked.

“The Mamono.”  She replied quietly.

“Mamono aren’t on Earth,” I said to her with a short laugh.

“No, but they will be. Then they will ruin it, just like they  ruined my world.” The girl said sadly, her smile gone.

”Really, who are you?” How do you know all this?”

“I told you, I’m-“

”No, that doesn’t cut it.” I interrupted her.

She peered at me from the side, her grin slowly returning, and said,

”I wished we could have met sooner. Strength, kindness, courage and heart, you’re the very example of humanity,” She looked back out to the ocean, “We could have done so much together...”

I snorted, “Lady, if I’m a prime example of humanity, then you’ve got some pretty low ass standards.”

She giggled at that, “Well, maybe you are a little rough around the edges. But it’s what gives you your charm,” She replied while laying her head on my arm.

We sat in silence again for a time. The rest of the day seemed to fly by as she asked me random questions like: How many oceans did Earth have? How was a hotdog different then a burger? And, oddly enough, what did I look for in a woman. Eventually the setting sun disappeared beyond the horizon as the wind grew cold, and the sky dark. The high rises behind us lit up as night descended upon us.

“I wish we had more time together, today was one of the most amazing days I’ve had in a long time. Thank you for showing me your world, I must admit, I found myself enjoying it more than I ever thought I would. But I have to go and so do you.” She said sadly as she stood.

Confused, I stood up next to her and said,

”What do you mean?”

She tilted her head to me in thought before mumbling, “Well, just a small one won’t hurt.”

Quickly grabbing my face in her hands, she placed a soft kiss upon my lips.

“Now, wake up.” She whispered as she rested her forehead against my own.

My eyes shot open to find myself back in Romie’s bedroom.

What in the hell was that?!

The sun was rising and bathing everything in a dull orangish red glow. Looking down over, I saw Romie cuddled up next to me and I touched my fingers to my lips as I asked myself,

That didn’t happen, did it? None of that was real, right? And more importantly, will I ever have a normal dream again?

Romie started smelling the air as she woke. Her eyes focused on me suspiciously as she sniffed me all over before stating,

“There’s something about you... it smells different...”

“Morning breath?” I asked groggily.

She growled slightly then proceeded to rub herself all over me.

It was all just a dream... wasn’t it?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

December 30th

After Romie spent the morning scent marking the crap outta me, we started packing for the long trip to the Yenbren mountains, where Victoria lived. I still didn’t tell Romie about her. Frankly I was trying to work out a way how to. No matter how many different ways I said it in my head, it still didn’t sound good telling your wife that you have to go to your ex for help.

Using an empty desk in the corner of her room, I did a quick inventory of what I had. Freshly washed clothes, courtesy of Martha - check, Packs of food... also courtesy of Martha- check, one pair of earbuds- check, one iPhone with a dead battery- check. I peered into a sack that served as my wallet here. Paper money really didn’t exist yet so the current form of currency for the world was coins- copper, silver and gold. I was in painfully short supply of all them at the moment. I sighed to myself, this was gonna be a tough trip with so little money.

“Damn it,” I breathed under my breath.

”Whats wrong?” Romie asked as she appeared next to me, her cat ears perked high.

“Just a little light on cash.” I mumbled.

”Oh... that’s it?” She asked then popped away.

”Uh, yeah?” Didn't she know that money is what tends to make the world go round? A few minutes later, she popped back and dropped a large leather satchel on to desk in front of me.

”Is this enough?” She asked innocently.

Opening it, I saw that it was brimming full of gold coins. There was very easily a small fortune in there...

“Wh-Where did you get this?” I stuttered.

“It’s mine.” She said nonchalantly as she grabbed her comb from the night stand and threw it in a bag that looked suspiciously like a large Gucci purse.

“It’s yours?” I asked bewildered, turning to her.

“Yeah, I got it out of the treasury. Why?”

I paused in thought, turning back to stare at the bag. Well, she was a princess. A rich and powerful princess at that too...  I’m sure I  wasn’t the first man in history to experience the fact that their wife made more money than them and also consequently had more clout. This was just a first for me. I didn’t want to say I felt immaculated or anything, after all she was the aggressor 99% of the time when it came to sex and I was ok with that but still.  I guess the male chauvinist/provider side of me had issues with taking her money.  But... the fate of the world did rely on us getting the bomb to Victoria and disassembling it, so...

Shrugging to myself, I opened my wallet bag and filled it with coins. Taking out a few more small empty bags, I did the same until I had about 8 of them filled up - best not to keep all your eggs in one basket. Well coins... sacks... yeah you get it.

“Hey... Umm, thank you...for... you know...” I said  bashfully to her, lifting up a filled bag.

Popping back over to me, she grabbed me in a hug and kissed me gently.

“Anything for you.” Her smile turned mischievous as her paws trailed down from my back and grabbed a hold of my ass.

“Whoa easy woman, we gotta finish packing!” I cried, arching my back. Now I was feeling immaculated.

“Mmm that just means you’ll owe me twice later on.” She purred with a wide grin.

“Sometimes I think you only want me for my body...”

Still grinning, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in to whisper in my ear,

”No love, I want you for everything and I mean... everything.”

Letting loose of my neck, I ended up looking straight into those deep purple eyes as she intently repeated.

”Everything.”

“Well... Alright then,” I said looking away, embarrassed. Trying to change the subject, I asked,

”So when are we going to say goodbye to your mom?”

”Ugh, do we have to?” She groaned, burying her head down in the crook of my neck, all semblance of eroticism gone.

”Yes, you know we do,” I said sternly as I hugged her back.

“Fiiiiine.” She huffed, “We’ll do it before we go...”

“She does know we’re leaving right?”

“I’m not a kitten, I don’t have to tell her a damn thing,” She growled, her tail swaying back and forth in agitation.

I didn’t say anything more on the subject after that. I knew she still had a grudge against her mom and that was her deal. In the end it would be whatever she decided on when it came to Momma Swift.

“I’ll support whatever it is you decide on when it comes to her, or anything for that matter.” I said into her hair.

Looking up at me with a smile, she closed her eyes and puckered her lips. I obliged, enjoying the romantic moment.

Pulling herself out of my grasp, she skipped over to her closet and grabbed an arm full of clothes with some shoes in which she promptly started putting them into her Gucci bag.

“How the hell are you fitting all that crap in there?” I asked baffled while watching her throw shoe after shoe into the purse. Seriously what is it with women and shoes?

”What? It’s an enchanted bag, I can fit anything I really want in here. Don’t women back on Earth have something like that?”

“Well... I mean I’ve seen some girls that could really pack stuff into their purse but... yeah not like that.” I replied thinking back to a girl I knew in my English 101 class. She literally had every makeup known to mankind in a tiny little Prada  bag.

Romie gave me a proud smirk and shrug of her shoulder as she shoved in a few more clothes. I was halfway tempted to see if we could throw the nuke in there but I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work. That and the idea of Romie walking around with a nuclear weapon in her purse seemed really fucked up on a whole different kind of level.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

We did end up saying good-bye to the Queen of Hearts outside the castle before leaving. While it wasn’t tearful or anything of the sort, I felt that she was sad to see her daughter leave after everything that had happened in just a few short days. I was a bit shocked when I was told to kneel and mini Taylor Swift herself grabbed me in a hug as she whispered in my ear,

”I’m happy she found you... Son...”

It then occurred to me that the Queen of Hearts was really my mother in law now...  kinda cool but more on the holy shit, that’s terrifying side of the spectrum.  Well, holidays will certainly be more interesting from now on.

With that, Romie, myself, Rudolf and the nuke started our long journey. We made some decent ground for starting out so late. That night, we made camp near the border of Wonderland.

“...So these people fly around in this big metal ship... just looking at stuff?” Romie asked as I sat by the fire.

“A Galaxy class starship, but yeah, they’re space explorers. You know, seeking out new life, new civilizations, boldly going where no one has gone before and stuff.”

“Are they at least having sex in this one? That whole Sun Wars thing or whatever had way too much family drama in it. ” She said as she floated around me in a laid back position. Must be nice not to have to sit your ass on the cold, hard ground.

“No! Well... I mean Commander Riker did bang a lot of chicks in the series, to be honest. He was kinda the shows man whore, now that I think about it.”  I said with a frown.

Romie gave me a large victory grin in reply. God damn it, she got me on that one. I was trying to teach her about tv shows and maybe introduce her to the idea of space travel and science/ science fiction. So far it was a bit of a trying experience due to her one track mind. With every series I told her about, she kept asking about if the main characters were getting freaky with any of the alien girls.

Well at least I can say I tried...

I stood and went over to throw some more wood on the fire. A couple more logs for the night just to keep the chill away and then it’s off to bed, I thought to myself as I finished. I took a moment to look up at the clear night sky, the sea of lights framing a large, beautiful full moon. It was still something I could never get used to, seeing so many stars. Night here was always something of a sad magical treat for me, staring up above, wondering which little twinkling light was Earth. Romie popped over to me.

“You know I was thinking...  I still have some of those cookies from Myra. I know they don’t work on you, but I could eat one. Become your younger, curious teenage sister needing someone to introduce her to all the ways of sex...” She said with a seductive grin while throwing her arms around my neck, hugging me.

“Mmm...  no.” I said, giving her a light kiss on the lips.

“Why? It would be fun.”

“Cuz, there’s laws against that.”

”Not here there isn't!”

“Look,” I sighed, “I got a lotta issues and I don’t feel like adding Pedophilia to that list, even if it’s just for a night and it’s with a woman that’s not actually under age.”

“Prude....” She pouted.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but calling me a Prude will never hurt me.” I sang with a grin of my own as I grabbed her hips and swayed her to the tune.

It then occurred to me, it was a full moon. Mamono are supposed to get extremely, extremely frisky when it’s a full moon. Frowning, I looked back up at the nights sky then to Romie, who gave me an evil grin as she saw me putting together the pieces. I was getting a bad feeling about all this.

“Sticks and stones, yes, calling you a Prude, no... But guess what a Cheshire that’s getting turned on by her husband singing, will do?” She asked casually as she pushed me down to the ground with a feral glint in her eye.

”Uh, cuddle?” I asked hopefully.

”Wrong answer. But let’s  just say it begins with an R and ends with ape... and a lot of it. “ She replied huskily as she proceeded to pull off my clothes.  Quickly removing her own, she started to kiss and fondle me all over as her irises grew large and her grin larger. The whole air around us seemed to have a musky smell as she mounted me.

She said nothing after that, she just stared at me with  those large eyes and  creepy grin as she rode me. She did this for a while, cumming over and over again on me, until she finally collapsed down to where I could capture a nipple in my mouth as she moaned,

“You’re so naughty aren’t you? You just want me to stain you purple don’t you, my husband?”

Romie let out a loud, throaty yowl into the night as we orgasmed together for a final time,  After she slid off me to the side, I looked down to the large pool of both our spendings left on my crotch. In the light of both the fire and the full moon, her words echoed back to me as I saw that it was tinted purple.

”I’m not gonna ask,” I mumbled to myself, throwing my head back as I breathed heavily. I also silently congratulated  myself on surviving the first full moon with my Cheshire wife. Maybe all those stories about Mamono going all crazy and breaking pelvises was just a load of bullshit from a bunch of pussies. That or maybe I’m just a bad ass, I thought smugly to myself.

Romie stirred next to me and a familiar hollow voice made my balls shrink to the size of acorns.

“It is my turn, my love.”

I looked over to see glowing red eyes peering deeply into my own.

”You?!” I squealed... in my toughest, manliest voice.

“She’s had her fill. But I have not. Tonight is engulfed in the flames of passion and I require feeding.”

“Can- can I get like 5 minutes? Maybe some cuddling?”

Ignoring my requests, she moved herself down to my neither region and licked up the mess made previously. Taking my flaccid member into her mouth, she roughly sucked on it while working  her paws against my shaft. Her grainy tongue ran up and down my now hard rod as she pronounced me ready for her.

“Be gentle at least?” I hopefully implored.

Glaring down at me through glowing red eyes as she mounted me again, Romie’s other half gave me a sadistic smile as she said a single word.

”No.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

December 31st...  New Years Eve...

It gets pretty boring when you travel. Back in the day, I would travel with Rudolf as we traversed the open road. Just him and I, alone with our thoughts. Now that I was married, things were a bit different.  Romie and I  did a lot of talking to pass the time, which was what ended up with us arguing on the subject of the nuke and The Order wanting to get their hands on it...

“...I’m not saying I condone it, but in some ways I understand it.”

Stopping in her tracks, she exclaimed, ”I can’t believe you just said that!”

”Romie, the Maou is literally force feeding the change of the human race down the mouths of the people on this planet. I warned both you and Katrina about this back at the peace talks. You guys made them desperate and when humans get desperate, they do stupid shit.”

“Us, huh...” She said in a small, hurt voice.

Shit, I knew I fucked up by saying that...

”Look, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean Donnie, because for a moment you sounded like an Order Inquisitior, shouting out about how murdering us is justified,” She spat angrily as she crossed her arms.

“I didn’t say that and you know it! I’m not on their side and I’m not on the Maou’s side either. If I was, I would hand over... Big Boy there to either of them. But here my ass is, trying to destroy it so the god damn world doesn’t end up bathed in blood and nuclear radiation!” I shouted to her.

”So who’s side are you on?”

“I’m not on anyone’s  side!!!” I yelled at her throwing my hands up in the air.

“The human race here is bottle necking, Romie. You guys don’t believe me, but it’s simple statistics. Reverse things around. What if Mamono were on the endangered species list? Humans here were getting ready to end you guys. I’m pretty sure fighting for your people’s survival isn’t such a sin... That’s the only thing I’m saying on the matter.”

She looked at me with hurt and sadness in her eyes. Not saying a word, she teleported away, leaving me alone.

Damn it, our first big argument.

“I didn’t... I mean I... Ugh, never mind,” I sighed to myself.

So, she really left me, huh?  God, what am I doing? I asked.  No matter what I do, it just seems like I keep fucking up time after time again. Trying to get back to Earth, the peace talks, my relationship with Romie... Each time I zig when I should have zagged, said yes instead of no and vise versa. In the end, I don’t say the right things, do the right things and I just fuck up.

God damn it! I’m not supposed to be here! I should  be in Connecticut, worrying about mid terms, finals, getting drunk with friends and trying to get good... well, maybe passing grades!

And here my dumb ass is... once again with the fate of two races on my shoulders.

My depressed musings were cut short as I heard shouting and woman’s blood curdling scream a little ways away.

Grabbing Rudolf's reins, him, the nuke and I trotted towards the commotion.

We made our way to a clearing, there I saw a picture perfect stone and straw cottage with 2 horses tied up on its picket fence, but inside there was something very wrong...

Pulling out Winona, I broke the door in and was met with a damn fucked up sight. A Raiju girl was on her knees with her hung head low. Surrounding her was a priest holding a book and an Inquisitior holding a sword. Each was flanking her on either side. Some feet away, I saw the blood covered bodies of a man and a Raiju woman laying face down on the ground.

Shit, those were probably her parents.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Demanded the Inquisitior angrily.

”You tell me. What’s going on?” I asked carefully, taking the situation in. The girl looked up at me with tears and a small sliver of hope in her terrified eyes. I tightened my grip on Winona as I fought to keep my temper in check. It was a fight that I knew I would lose.

“We are purifying this house and the demons inside it, may the Chief God have mercy on all the souls they have corrupted.” Said the priest as he made a blessing gesture.

“Now, begone peasant this doesn’t concern you.” Commanded the prick Inquisitior with a motion of his sword towards the door.

They were going to kill her just like her parents. A deathly calm overtook me as I straightened and relaxed my pose.

“Oh good, because for a moment I thought you guys were molesting an altar boy or something. Well, carry on if that’s all, I’ll just be going.”  I turned to leave as the girl began to weep again, but then spun around as I fired a bullet into the Inquisitiors chest.

The Raiju girl let out a scream at the sound of Winona’s rage. Before the priest could react, I fired another shot into his own chest. The girl ran to a corner and shrank down into it as she desperately tried to make herself as small as possible.

It was then that I saw blood pooling around the bodies. In my haste, I didn’t realize that Winona had regular rounds in her instead of Silver. I looked over to the corpses of the girls murdered parents, to the girl herself, huddled in corner, literally pissing herself in terror, then back to the bodies of priest and Inquisitior.

Call it a defining moment in my life or maybe just one of vengeance but, I didn’t feel any remorse for killing them. Just a grim sense of satisfaction. An eye for an eye might make the world go blind but I’ll be sleeping just fine tonight, knowing these two assholes aren’t around.

I holstered Winona and held my hands up as I knelt down to the crying girl.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, I’m a good guy ok? Those bad men won’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” I said quietly to her,  “We need to get out of here...”

The Raiju shook her head violently as she continued to cry and stare at her parents bodies. Even my crusty old heart was breaking at this, she had just lost her folks and now I was asking her to leave her only home. I had to fight myself not to think that those assholes weren’t the only monsters in here.

Standing up, I grabbed a couple of woven blankets from a nearby chair and draped them over all the bodies.

”Hey, I’ll be right back ok? I’m not leaving you, I just need to get a friend. She’s a Mamono like you... and she’s a princess, how cool is that  huh?” I said with a forced smile.

She didn’t respond, she just curled up into a tight ball as she continued to cry.

Running out of the cottage, I spun around as I called out into the forest, “Romie please! I’m sorry!  If you’re out there, if you can hear me, I’m sorry! I need you please! There’s a little girl, she needs our help! Please!”

Nothing...

I sank to my knees in despair, wondering how I was ever going to get that little girl to safely. Tears of frustration began to fall from my eyes to the dirt in front of me. She wasn’t coming back.

“I guess I really am just a fuck up after all...” I mumbled.

Furry paws cradled themselves around my head as I looked up to see Romie’s face.

“No, you’re not.” She said gently to me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered up to her, “I never meant to-“

“It’s okay,” She interrupted, “I know and I’m sorry too, I never should have left like that.”

She pulled me up and grabbed me in a tight hug as she said, “I love you.”

“I love you too, but we have to hurry. There’s a little girl inside that house. Those Order bastards, they murdered her parents, we have to get her out of there.”

Romie looked to the cottage then back at me with pain in her eyes. I was reminded that for me, being human and all,  it was easy to forget that things like this were a regular occurrence for Mamono.

”What can I do to help?”

“Come with me inside and tell her the truth- that you’re a princess and you’re going to take her away from all of this.”

“Okay, but where are we going to take her after we get her out of there?”

I chewed on my bottom lip as I regarded her, “I have absolutely no right in asking this of you but... Could you take her to Wonderland? There’s gotta be someone there who could care for her maybe even adopt her?”

“I- I could, I mean I could take her to the castle, ask mother for help, but what about you? What if something happens to you? I don’t want to leave you alone again!”

 “Hey, I’ll muddle through,” I said bravely at her then turned my head towards the door, “But that little Raiju in there won’t. She needs our help. Today’s the worst day of her life, she’s lost everything. It’s up to us now.”

Taking her paw in my hand, we walked back into the nightmare. It was deathly quiet inside, save for the sobs of the poor child still huddled in the corner. I was a bit amazed as I watched  Romie reach into her magical Gucci purse and withdraw a crystal tiara, similar to the one I always saw her mom wearing.

“I hate this thing, it always chafes my ears,” She mumbled as she put it on her head and walked over to her.

Looking up,  girl stared in awe as Princess Romie knelt down to her and gently said.

“Little one, I know a lot of horrible things have happened today, there’s nothing I can do to change that... But I can help you. Let me take you to Wonderland. It’s a magical place where your pain will heal, where you will be safe and no one will ever try to hurt you again. You’ll meet my mother, the Queen of Hearts, and be forever happy. What do you say, sweetheart?”

The child stared at Romie, then over to the covered corpses of what was once her parents. Was it a messed up choice to have her make? Yeah, I’ll admit to that. But it was the only thing I could think of, other then leaving her alone to fend for herself, and that, I would not do.

There’s a lot in my life that I’m not proud of, this moment was one of them. But if it lead to her surviving, to her having a chance to grow up and possibly being happy again, then I’d accept this one more sin.

Finally the little Raiju nodded and held her hands out. Romie grabbed her up and swung around to face me. With the child in her arms, my Cheshire blew me a good-bye kiss as they popped away to Wonderland and hopefully a new start for her. When Romie would return, I had no idea, but I knew she would. That alone helped as I set to my next morbid task.

Grabbing a shovel from one of Rudolf's saddle bags, I dug two graves. Burying the mother and father was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I talked to them as I laid both to rest. I told them that their daughter was in good hands... paws. She would be safe, happy, and that I was sorry.

With tears in my eyes I covered their bodies with dirt and used some pieces of their picket fence as grave markers.

It was the best I could do.

Exhausted, I summoned up as much strength as I could for one more thing. As tired as I was, I refused to let those two bastards continue to be in that home.

I dragged each of them out as far as I safely could, threw oil on their corpses and as my faithful horse watched, I set fire to their bodies.

“Have fun in Hell,” I mumbled as I walked away from the flames.

Grabbing the bags off their horses, I undid the saddles and set them free. Least they didn’t have to carry around those assholes anymore. After boarding up the cottage door, I set up camp a few feet away from everything. I wasn’t hungry or anything, but I badly wished that I could listen to some music. Today... today was a bad day...

“Prayer 1, come in, over. What’s your status, over.” Came a voice from the priests bag.

Da hell?

Curious, I walked over and rummaged through it. My mouth ran dry as I pulled out a black military issue walkie talkie.

“Prayer 1, answer, over. What is your status, over.”

Holding the walkie in my hand, my mind raced with all the implications. How the hell did these guys have modern day tech? I needed some answers and there was only one way to get them. Taking a breath, I decided to do what I did best- start some shit.

”We’re sorry, the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected at this time. Please hang up and dial your operator.”

“Who is this? Identify yourself!”  Demanded a staticky voice on the other end.

Grinning evilly at the talkie, I deepened my voice as I said into it, “I’m Batman.”

There was a very long pause at the other end and I couldn’t help but feel rather smug about confusing the shit outta those dicks. Finally another voice came on, this time female,

“You're from Earth,”  She said, not in a questioning tone but as a statement.

“Gotham city to be exact,” I joked, returning my voice to normal and added,

“You’re from Earth too aren’t you?”

“What happened to my men?” She asked, ignoring my question.

”Your men were getting their jolies off to killing an innocent family and now they’re dead.”

“That’s interesting,” She replied, “You know what else is interesting? The fact that you’re interfering with a US Military operation.”

Well now, for me, that was very interesting...

“Oh really? The US Military is now going to other planets? Ya got the whole SG-1 team right next to you as well, huh? O’Niel, Carter, Daniels and Teal'c too?”

“Stop what you are doing and go turn yourself into the next Order officers you see. Tell them you want to see Colonel Faith and you won’t be harmed.”

”Well, the thought of being captured by the best and the brightest you’ve got here is certainly very tempting, but I’m gonna have to turn down your offer. Ya see, I got places to go, people to see, bombs to dismantle and unfortunately lady, your goons were at the wrong place at the wrong time, killing the wrong innocents. Collateral damage, I’m sure you’re aware of the term.”  I spat into the walkie.

“Bomb... You have the weapon, don’t you?”

Oh fuck me 6 ways from Sunday, did I just blab to Miss Happy that I had her nuke? Maybe I can bullshit my way out of this?

“Uh, weapon? What weapon?” I said as innocently as I could.

“Turn it and yourself over immediately and if you’re  lucky you won’t end up as a traitor, shipped off to Guantanamo Bay with your citizenship revoked!”

Well that didn’t work.

“Uh, no. I’m not going to let you go all nuke happy on this planet, GI Jane. And for the record, Getmo is a little too far away for you to send me, isn’t it?

“You are threatening the stability of this world, the weapon will be used as leverage against the Monsters and nothing more. You have my word on it. Now turn over the weapon to us.”

Shit, this was a lot to take in, I had to think... make up some excuse to end this conversation.

”Well hey it’s been real, loved the threats and all, but I got dinner in the oven and the ol’ ball and chain will really get pissed if I burn the pot roast again, so talk to you later?” I said quickly as I switched off the walkie.

Yeah I know... that wasn’t my best.

I stood and started to pace, she was out there somewhere and wanted Big Boy over here as a kind of bargaining chip. But bargaining chips only work if the other side knows what it is. The Maou would need a demonstration, and somehow I knew GI Jane wasn’t the kind that was worried about body count. She wouldn’t just take the thing to some empty field and set it off for all to see... No, that’s not how the military mind thinks nor the kind of effect that would do the job.

My money was on that she would take the nuke to the biggest city in the baddest Demon Realm out there... the Royal Maki. Set that sucker off right in the middle of the place or maybe near the Maou’s castle... maximum fatalities , maximum effect.

It would work too. Doing something like that would halt all Mamono military progress. Maybe it would even demoralize them enough for The Order to make a come back, under GI Jane’s leadership of course. It was a brilliant, terrible plan.

It would also save the human race here. Give them a chance to bounce back, maybe even figure out a way to keep a balance. Above all else It would buy them the most precious gift of all... Time. But then at the cost of how many thousands of Mamono? What would be the body count at the end? How many more dead families? How many more orphaned little girls?

‘The needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few.’ Came the haunting voice of Leonard Nimoy in the back of my head.

“Fuck you, Spock! I’m not trading lives of one race for the other!” I yelled out loud, kicking a stone in the direction of the nuke. “Not exactly a very Starfleet thing to do!”

No... I’m not going to have that much blood on my hands. I’m not going to be that kind of Hero. That bitch can call me a traitor all she wants, have my citizenship revoked or whatever the fuck the US government would do in the end, if what she was saying was true.

Shit, I’ll just take my happy ass up to Canada, maybe watch some hockey with Ryan Reynolds, eat a lotta maple syrup and listen to Celine Dion . The last part, I wasn’t looking forward to but sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

I looked back over at the nuke, no I guess I should call it Big Boy from now on. Time was ticking and because of my big mouth, the Order knew I had it. If any of this was going have a happy ending, I had to get Big Boy to Victoria...