[S] Bug-talk

However long ago, a young man and a young troll had an inane debate over exotic bug and insect species
-- adeptusPraesidius [AP] started pestering arthropodicAssemblage [AA] --

[AP]: Greetings, Fle⌒! I disc0vered s0me f⌒scin⌒ting species 0f insect ⌒nd w⌒nted t0 sh0w y0u.
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 7:40 PM
AA: oh yeah? whats its deal?
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 7:45 PM
[AP]: It's ⌒ f⌒mily of 0rth0pter⌒ with quite the ⌒lleged leth⌒lity.
[AP]: They're ⌒ bunch 0f crickets th⌒t c0uld supp0sedly kill ⌒n ⌒dult in ⌒ single bite!
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 7:48 PM
AA: a cricket… who can kill an adult in a single bite…
AA: do you honestly believe this crap?
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 7:49 PM
[AP]: Indeed. I've seen it 0n the web ⌒nd inquired ⌒b0ut it t0 my superi0rs.
[AP]: here, ⌒ll0w me t0 sh0w y0u the cre⌒ture.
- Trajan shares a link to an alternian website vaguely formatted like encyclopedia Britannica, but written entirely in Alternian -
- The specific page of the website features an alien cricket with nasty incisors -
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 7:53 PM
AA: I don't speak russian and none of those symbols are showing up in google translate, also thats fucking photoshop! what is this a dictionary onion website but for russians? dude your not going to fool me with this, no fucking cricket has the power to kill a man, even if you photoshop those, I'll admit they're cool, incisors on it.
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 7:55 PM
[AP]: 0h, I ⌒ssure y0u these cre⌒tures exist, even if in r⌒rity. Surely y0u must h⌒ve kn0wledge 0n ⌒nything c0mp⌒r⌒ble t0 them, n0?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 7:59 PM
AA: swarms of locusts maybe but not anything like that
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:00 PM
[AP]: Re⌒lly, now? N0thing?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:01 PM
AA: dude those just don't fucking exist. do you want me to say like a cricket without those incisors!?
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:01 PM
[AP]: It d0esn't necess⌒rily h⌒ve t0 be ⌒nywhere ne⌒r identic⌒l. S0mething merely c0mp⌒r⌒ble.
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:02 PM
AA: hold on
- Flea sends a picture of him holding what seems to be a cage full of crickets with some weird gelatin in the middle, without his head or body in frame -
AA: I got these? I usually just feed them to lobster though, they are really not made for combat.
AA: Lobster just devours these, they dont even put up a fight. pretty pathetic if you ask me.
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:07 PM
[AP]: Why n0t sh0w me this l0bster, then?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:11 PM
AA: okay

AA: that's lobster, he's a scorpion obviously, not an actual lobster. Lobster is just his name.
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:24 PM
[AP]: He's r⌒ther sm⌒ll f0r wh⌒t I h⌒d im⌒gined, but a fierce-l00king cre⌒ture, indeed. I've ⌒ctu⌒lly enc0untered 0thers like him ne⌒r my h0me.
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:26 PM
AA: in russia? It's too cold for scorpions there, you must be confused, or are you trying to pull my leg again like those weird crickets you "found"
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:27 PM
[AP]: I d0n't live in ⌒ny pl⌒ce c⌒lled Russia, th0ugh. It's r⌒ther temper⌒te here, I'd s⌒y
[AP]: Here, I'll sh0w y0u wh⌒t I me⌒n.
- Trajan shares a picture taken from a personal device a few moments later of an Alternian scorpion, looking mildly alien and hella albino -
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:31 PM
AA: do you live in fucking Chernobyl?! Jesus dude what the fuck is wrong with your bugs?!
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:31 PM
[AP]: I w⌒s un⌒w⌒re they were ⌒bnorm⌒l, th0ugh? M0st bugs ⌒nd insects sh⌒re these ⌒lbin0 c0l0rs ⌒r0und here.
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:33 PM
AA: i mean yeah but like it's all white it's not even albino, you're gonna have to do a better job photoshopping it next time, I recommend you redden the eyes next time dumbass.
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:39 PM
[AP]: Sh0uld these re⌒lly surprise y0u s0 much?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:40 PM
AA: ur not gonna fucking gaslight me, I'm not a gullible little shit. I do gotta admit you are good at photoshop though
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:41 PM
[AP]: Surely there must be plenty 0ther ex⌒mples like these in y0ur sc0pe of kn0wledge, though.
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:42 PM
AA: what albinos? yeah, also sometimes when certain bugs molt they come out white, like cockroaches… idk I guess it could be real, except with the deformities on it kind of looking alienlike.
AA: still your not gonna fucking gaslight me
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:50 PM
[AP]: I ⌒ssure y0u I h⌒ve n0 such intenti0ns.
[AP]: Nevertheless, seeing y0ur Lobster ⌒nd these 0ther species m⌒kes me w0nder.
[AP]: Which d0 y0u supp0se w0uld sit ⌒t0p the f00d ch⌒in?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:58 PM
AA: idk man, are you asking me who's scorpion would win in a fight?
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 8:58 PM
[AP]: P⌒rti⌒lly?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 8:59 PM
AA: I'd like Lobster to be on top if I'm gonna be honest he's my pet after all
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 9:00 PM
[AP]: Eh, f⌒ir en0ugh. Bi⌒ses ⌒side, th0ugh, wh⌒t ⌒re y0ur th0ughts?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 9:01 PM
AA: man I don't know anything about your fake ass scorpion, mine would probably win on the fact that he's real!
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 9:03 PM
[AP]: 0h? Wh⌒t ex⌒ctly c⌒n y0ur sc0rpi0n d0, then?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 9:05 PM
AA: stabs with its tail and can pinch with its claws
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 9:06 PM
[AP]: ⌒s ⌒ny sc0rpi0n d0es. Wh⌒t is there speci⌒l ⌒b0ut y0urs?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 9:11 PM
AA: >what's special about mine?
AA: did you really just ask me that
AA: fucking stupid ass question
Trajan | adeptusPraesidius [AP]Today at 9:11 PM
[AP]: Yes
[AP]: ⌒re y0u n0t g0ing to ⌒nswer?
arthropodicAssemblage [AA]Today at 9:11 PM
AA: I'm not even give you the dignity of a response
arthropodicAssemblade [AA] ceased pestering adeptusPraesidius [AP]