But -I- want a surprise baby too

Alexithymiaa: -Like last night, Steph was sitting very impatiently and nervously in the lobby waiting for her name to be called for her physical. She was staring straight ahead of her across the lobby, her hands twisting together as she twirled her ring anxiously, chewing on the inside of her cheek.-
Alexithymiaa: (I dont know but we do it often and I love it)
Covet: Felix was sitting next to her with his hands in his lap, bouncing his feet while chewing on the toothpick in his mouth. He looked over at her, watching her be there nervously as she played with the ring he'd given her. He reached over and offered his hand to her, palm up, an offering to hold her hand.
Alexithymiaa: -She looked down at his outstretched hand, gently placing hers in his and lacing their fingers together. "Hopefully this won't take long...." She trailed off, her eyes snapping up when the nurse called out her name, waving her on to follow her back through the doors. Pushing up to her feet, she exhaled deeply and began to follow her.-
Covet: He gave her hand a squeeze and nodded, "I've got nothing else tonight, so I don't mind how long it takes." He said his mouth curling up a little. He got up with her, following behind the nurse.
Alexithymiaa: "Yeah... that wasn't exactly a comment about me trying to be courteous of your time." She forced a smile, trying to at least find some sort of comic relief in how uneasy this made her feel. Turning into one of the examine rooms the nurse led them into, she started to linger next to the chair awkwardly. // The nurse reviewed the chart in her hands and Steph's history before speaking. "Alright, we're just going to start with some basics." Setting it down, she reached for the blood pressure pump, wrapping it around Steph's arm and beginning to pump it, releasing it slowly and eyeing her watch. "One thirty over eighty. Just a little high, but consistent with your last visit. We marked down last time your resting heart rate was a bit high as well."-
Covet: Felix sighed and went back to keeping his mouth shut, feeling doubtufl that he'd be able to say anything that'd make her feel better. When he heard the nurse he furrowed his brow biting the inside of his cheek, not liking the sound of that.
Alexithymiaa: "I'm just... a little nervous. I get nervous coming here. Last time Dr. Greene said he wasn't concerned about it." She rubbed her hand over her arm, watching the nurse record things in her chart. // "Yes, I have that here. I just want to grab your current height and weight as well, if you could just step over here." The nurse walked to the scale, gesturing to Steph's feet. "Please remove your shoes and then step up." // She sucked in a deep breath, hesitantly stepping out of her shoes before stepping up onto the scale. // The nurse started to move the sliders over until the weight was balanced, marking it in her chart. "Ninety six pounds. Last time you were weighed was October and you were ninety seven pounds."-
Covet: "Her eating habits haven't been so great the last few days. That's not an excuse, just a reason." He said leaning back in the chair in the room, reaching up to adjust the hat on his head.
Alexithymiaa: -Her head whipped around to shoot Felix a glare. "My eating habits have been perfectly fine the last few days. It's only a pound, things flucuate." She said quickly, probably trying to convince herself more than anything else. // "Okay." The nurse jotted a couple of notes down into the chart and then pulled the ruller out of the scale, setting it down on top of Steph's head. "Five foot two and a quarter. You can step down. I'll send Dr. Greene in, in a moment." She made her way out with her chart to fetch the doctor.-
Covet: Felix put his hands up defensively, then played with the toothpick in his mouth. "Sorry..." He mumbled, kind of nervous to be left alone with Steph.
Alexithymiaa: -She stepped down off the scale and slipped her feet back into her shoes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Why do you have to do that? If the doctor isn't worried, you shouldn't be either." // Doctor Greene walked into the room shortly after with the chart in his hand, smiling to them. "Good to see you again. How are we feeling?" He asked, sort of just encompassing them both in that question since Felix was clearly all fucked up right now. He's polite.-
Covet: "Because you wouldn't tell the doctor in order for them to be concerned." He told her looking at her, then at the doctor as he came in. " Good as I can, really." He said with a ginger shrug.
Alexithymiaa: "They're examining me." She hissed at him before the doctor came in, forcing a smile onto her face. "Feeling pretty good." // He reviewed her chart again and then nodded. "Good to hear. Let's take a look, shall we?" He asked, adjusting the stethoscope into his ears and pushing the flat part against her chest. He listened to her heart, shifting it over slightly and keeping an eye on his watch. He frowned, adjusting it again. "I'm not really liking the sound of your heart. I know this time of year comes with its own stresses, but have you been able to keep that under control?" He asked her, but then sort of looked at Felix because Steph lies to him every time she comes in.-
Covet: "Sorry.." Felix said closing his eyes, as he looked away letting them do their thing unless he was spoken to. When he heard the doctor he shook his head slowly. "No... and sadly I'm not helping..." He said with a sigh and rubbed his head over his hat.
Alexithymiaa: "Well it hasn't been that bad..." She started when Felix chimed in, looking over at him. "You haven't been that bad. It's just this time of year gets to me. I've already had a nightmare and I know things are going to get worse over the next few weeks, which just makes me more anxious." // Dr. Greene nodded his head, writing as he spoke. "I know a lot of it is out of your control, but I can only advise that you do the best you can to manage the stress. I also want to send you for an echocardiogram to further assess if medication is necessary. Pain free test, I promise." He said instantly, knowing this bitch. He moved his hands to her stomach, pushing around.-
Covet: "Is there anything she could take to help alieviate some of the anxiety?" Felix asked the doctor watching him intently.
Alexithymiaa: -Her face scrunched at the mention of going for an echocardiogram, tensing up when he put his hands on her stomach and started to push. "I don't know if more medication is really the answer to this problem..." // "Don't we have you on anti-anxiety meds?" He asked, pulling his hands off of her, but giving her a little pat. "Relax. Take a deep breath." He turned to reach for the chart, flipping for her meds. "Yes, we do. So staying on top of the medication will help, but also breathing techniques will help too. I'm going to recommend you make an appointment with Dr. Ferguson to return to counseling even though I know you're going to pretend I didn't say that." He leaned back against the counter behind him, jotting a few notes down. "We only did bloodwork a couple of months ago so I think we can skip that today, unless you have any concerns you'd like to address?"-
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Alexithymiaa: Alexithymiaa: -Her face scrunched at the mention of going for an echocardiogram, tensing up when he put his hands on her stomach and started to push. "I don't know if more medication is really the answer to this problem..." // "Don't we have you on anti-anxiety meds?" He asked, pulling his hands off of her, but giving her a little pat. "Relax. Take a deep breath." He turned to reach for the chart, flipping for her meds. "Yes, we do. So staying on top of the medication will help, but also breathing techniques will help too. I'm going to recommend you make an appointment with Dr. Ferguson to return to counseling even though I know you're going to pretend I didn't say that." He leaned back against the counter behind him, jotting a few notes down. "We only did bloodwork a couple of months ago so I think we can skip that today, unless you have any concerns you'd like to address?"-
Covet: "I'll make sure that she makes that appointment and goes to it." Felix said with a nod then looked over at her with a smile, "He look you don't get to be poked today, that's good, right?"
Alexithymiaa: -She nodded her head, tugging her hoodie down a bit to cover where the doctor had been pushing at her stomach. "I did actually have a question..." She started, trying to be casual, but she didnt exactlly sound casual at all. "I was just curious... we'd previously discussed like... yanno... two years ago, that you thought it was unsafe for me to carry out a pregnancy full term. Have you changed your mind about that?" She had Cadence's pregnancy on the brain. // Dr. Greene sighed, setting her chart down and focusing on the two of them because this was a little more serious of a conversation. "I can definitely say there is clear progress you've made in your overall health and i'm very happy about that, but the stress a pregnancy puts on your body isn't something I can comfortably say is okay for you. Between the uncertainty with your heart right now and the fact that you're still underweight for your height, I can't give you the green light for that." He paused, watching Steph's face because that was obviously not the answer she wanted to hear.-
Covet: Felix sat up a bit furrowing his brow, because he didn't realize this was on the menu for tonight. He crossed his arms as best as he could, then gave a slight sight of relief because his concern was exactly the same as the doctor's. "Just means there's more work to do. But you're on the right path. So that's good." He said giving her an encouraging smile.
Alexithymiaa: "Okay, but..." She stammered, looking at the Doctor, Felix, and back. "But I've gained weight. I've been healthier. I've eaten... you're telling me all of the progress I've made doesn't actually make that much of a difference?" // "I didn't say that. Exactly, you're on the right path and you've made tremendous improvement and I think we can all agree you're in a much healthier state, but pregnancy is extremely demanding on your body. You don't consume enough nutrients to properly grow a baby, let alone supply enough for the both of you. I think it's better if we revisit this discussion in a few years and you've made more progress. I don't want to discount the progress you've made and will continue to make." // She swallowed hard, looking down at her hands because now she couldn't lift her face for either of them to see. "That's not fair. I've worked my ass off to be healthier and I have nothing to show for it." She shoved off the exam table, walking quickly for the door of the room, breathing heavily.-
Covet: "Steph... This is something that you, yourself said has done some serious damage to you. Especially for as long as you've had to struggle with it. We've got time...But I'm with the Doctor on this one, because I would hate to lose you, and a baby if it's to much on you. I don't know how I could cope with that." He said following her out of the room, catching up with her.
Alexithymiaa: -She stopped in the hallway, turning to look at him with glassy eyes. "But in two years he hasn't changed his mind? This just feels like it doesn't matter what I do, no one is ever going to think I'm in a good enough condition to be pregnant. I'm never going to be good enough. It's not fair. Other people just get surprise babies left and right and what do I get? Everything constantly taken away from me."-
Covet: "Stop. He said a few more years, it's going to be okay. If it means this much to you, we'll work even harder. We've got goals, it's a challenge, but that's never stopped you before." Felix told her then pulled her in for a hug, "What do you mean? Who got a surprise baby? That's not how Santa works." He asked then shook his head, "Not the point. This is about you." Felix turned her head up. " Look... I know I'm not fully on board with the kid thing. BUT... if I promise to go on that adventure with you... Will you stick this out and keep trying?" Felix asked her, all sincerity in his face.
Alexithymiaa: -She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him, nodding her head against him. "Cadence. She got two surprise babies." She said in a muffled voice against his shirt before leaning back. "Only if you really mean that. And not just for my benefit."-
Covet: "What? Really? Jesus Remy... Keep it in your pants dude." Felix said shaking his head. "Cadence just had a baby too... I feel sorry for her." He added then looked at her. "I'm terrified of it, but if it is what makes you happy, then I'll willingly do it, because that's all I want for you, is to be happy. But you have to stick with it...no more of this fighting and bickering when I ask about it... because when I ask about it from here on out, it's me making sure those future plans are still in place." He said kind of rambling because he was nervous about this decision.
Alexithymiaa: "Okay..." She spoke in a small voice, nodding her head. I promise I won't fight with you about it unless you're being an asshole. And then I reserve the right to give you an attitude. I'm sorry, but that's not going to change. If you're a dick first, I'm going to be a dick back." She lifted her hands to press to his cheeks, kissing his lips for the first time in like almost a week. "I just want to go home." She took his good hand in hers, starting for the exit and deliberately not making a follow up appointment. Too much excitement.-