Night at the Kriegsmuseum part 5

It was not the right direction.
We’re out of the medieval section, only missing being impaled a few times. We have found ourselves in the I M M E R S I V E Vietnam war section. Here the owners have created a plastic jungle with the tanks, cars and guns interspersed around the place, a few aircraft too it seems, as I watch a hovering helicopter blast ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ as she opens up her machine guns.
I turn to Husaria
“these do not look like germans”
“I-I’m sure there’s something german around here”
I give her a look.
pressXtodoubt.jpg
she gives up immediately
“alright, lets go find the germans.”
A figure bursts out of the foliage, followed closely by another geist.
“for starrin!” cries the pursuer.
“go to hell commie faggot!” screams back the American, diving into a pile of crates.
The commie recoils “oh shit!” but it’s too late as a jet of flame consumes her and the area around her. I wonder what the people tomorrow will think of the scorched flooring.
“Cyka bryat!” she cries as she runs back into the jungle.
The american’s head appears over the top of the crate stack. Her face is covered in paint, her helmet has an upside-down peace sign and the words “KILL REDS, GET MONEY” scrawled on the fabric cover.
“who the hell’re you two?”
“ARE YOU A DRAGON!?”
Naturally, being from medieval times and the geist’s tendency to stay in their own areas, Husaria had very little experience with tanks and guns. Which, thinking back, is why she called them ‘big steel boxes’. Now she’s seen one seemingly breathe fire.
“hold on, what?”
“I KNEW IT” Husaria yells as she runs back into the medieval section, presumably to get Kopia to slay the dragon.
“what’s going on with her? It’s like she’s never seen a commie get napalmed before”
“I doubt she has”
The waffengiest leaps out from her crate fort, revealing more stereotypically modified gear including a nametag reading ‘M48’ that had been scribbled on and replaced with ‘M67’. That explains the flamethrower. I look back to the roller door leading to the medieval section to see Husaria in armour form and armed with a lance that I assume is Kopia. Damn she’s quick, like holy shit does she have an engine in there somewhere?
The Hussar sprints towards M67, levelling her lance and yelling in polish. M67 gives me a look that says, “what the actual fuck, man”. Turning her attention back to the advancing pollack, she widens her stance, lowering her centre of gravity. What is she thinking? The next few seconds seem to unfold in slow motion. As soon Kopia’s tip gets within grabbing range M67 does so and directs the spear into the ground. Kopia impacts the floor just behind M67’s left side. M67 uses her newly created lever, with some help from Husaria’s momentum, to pole vault the poor girl into the bushes. M67 is left holding Kopia, who transforms, breaking free from the tank’s grip, and rushes to assist her wielder.
“are you done yet?” M67 yells into the bushes .
No answer
If past performance is a judge, Husaria should be blowing a fuse right about now. Maybe she’s been knocked out?
“Kopia! is everything all right?” I yell into the jungle.
“everyting is good mishter guard” comes a reply
M67’s face twists into a look of anger and she readies her flamethrower
“T-54 you commie bitch! What are you doing wit-“
Two vehicles roar into the clearing, an IS-3 and a ZSU-23-4. In response, M67 growls and transforms into her tank form.
“not so fast imperiarist!” a new figure emerges from the bushes. her uniform is burned severely and, more importantly, she has Kopia in a headlock.
“you can burn me, but what wirr happen to this rittle one?”
It’s funny because Kopia is taller than her, so she’s practically doubled over to be held by T-54. Though her point about Kopia being flammable is true. M67 should have enough sense to not roast them yet.
“can you giests ever just get along?!” I shout from the sidelines, even I’m not dumb enough to run in between a 122mm cannon, quad 23mm guns and a flamethrower. I’ve got to call someone for help! I rush over to the pile of crates M67 used for cover earlier. The waffengiests throw insults at each other while I rummage through the crates, looking for… got it! An SCR-300 portable radio. I hold the handset to my ear while flipping through the channels.
“Oy Blyat! accordion broke again! Sorry comrades bandit radio is-“
“I couldn’t give less of a fuck what the rest of you buggers, explosive filler is overrated- “
“-in conclusion the best tank of the war is me, M4! and you can tell T-34 to shove it up her- “
“und zat is why Deutch panzers are superior to everyone else-“
“this is Hellcat, I’m checking out some activity on the east side, over”
Finally
“this is the night guard, we’re dealing with an IS-3, a Shilka and a T-54, they’ve got one friendly giest hostage, over
“alright, here I come!”
The vehicle bursts through into the clearing, behind the Shilka. Hellcat puts a 76mm round up the Russian’s rear end, speeding along to the IS-3. The IS tries to tries to traverse its turret to the advancing tank destroyer. Hellcat swiftly slides in along the opposite side the IS, sending her off on the pain train too. in a panic, T-54 throws Kopia to the ground. She draws her cannon, a breech loader fitted to a rifle stock, and slams a round into the chamber.
"This is the rast time you fuck with me, Herrcat!” screams T-54, drawing a bead directly on Hellcat’s turret ring. Her finger begins to tighten around the trigger.
“you let the hostage go” booms the until-recently-useless M48 variant
“BY STARIN’S MOUSTACHE!” wails T-54 as she is engulfed in fire.
Hellcat pulls up in front of me. Kopia appears over the turret.
“Get in! Get in”
I don’t need much more encouragement. I leap up onto the hull and scramble over the open top turret. Kopia has already dragged the unconscious Husaria in here as well. The Hellcat lurches forward as it accelerates. I take the commander’s position, with the wind whipping past me, I look back to see M67 trailing behind us. Hellcat eventually stops at another clearing, there are stacks of boxes on pallets around the place and one canopy made of camouflage mesh as a shelter. Kopia and I offload Husaria from Hellcat so she can transform. Hellcat’s is moderately tall with long blonde hair, interestingly, she also has cat ears. The neck on her uniform is so low and wide that there was barely a reason for her to wear a shirt at all. I can see everything. It’s glorious. I briefly wonder why her clothes are like that, then I realise
>open top turret