Angel on Earth part 1

from /hhg/ Helluva Hotel general #627
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A product of my drunken state tonight.

>What if Angel ended up on Earth through Anon summoning him through a demonic ritual, and he decided to take holidays here?

PROLOGUE:
>It's been around a month.
>A month since you performed that stupid ritual.
>But a month since one of the most important friends you've ever head in your life appeared.
>A (normally) four-armed spider appeared in your garage after you followed some stupid summoning ritual from /x/ when you'd had a few too many.
>Last time you trust the internet for anything.
>The first thing you did of course, was flip the fuck out.
>But then, you realised.
>He was really funny.
>No, really, REALLY, funny.
>And all he wanted was a break from his job.
>He was a porn star, or so he said.
>Sorry, 'adult film star'.
>That's the official definition.
>'Y'see, Anon, was it? I have a pretty gruelling schedule so, I might pop back up here from time to time, if that's okay?'
>He steps closer to you, and takes the front of your t-shirt and pulls you closer.
>'As long as you keep me fed and watered, schnuckums?'
>He kisses you on the cheek, then pulls back and pouts.
>'Not about that? Alright. We'll give you time.'
>He smiles a Cheshire Cat grin.
-
>'Hey! You can't just take that!'
>The four armed fucker is raiding your fridge!
>'Who says?'
>You watch in horror as he empties an entire jar of Jalapeno Peppers into his gullet and belches loudly.
>'Me!'
>You just stand there, blinking inconsistently, trying to comprehend what just happened.
>Before this he'd tackled an entire 6 pints of Milk, and before that, your big jar of Cherry Life Savers.
>'You ogling me, Anon?'
>He raises his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, and strikes a few lewd poses for your benefit.
>I mean he does look kind of... girly, you say to yourself.
>You feel your pants start to grow ever more constrictive, as he saunters over to you. You're getting aroused.
>'HAH! Knew you couldn't resist me! No one can~'
>'W-wha? No!'
>You back away into the kitchen cabinets, doing your best to stay away from him.
>'You can try your best playing 'hard to get', Anon...'
>He eyes you with the perception of a hunter watching his prey, waiting for the right moment to strike. His eyes locked on... well... your pants.
>He's getting closer.
>'But it doesn't work. Angel Dust *always* gets what he wants.'
>Pretentious prick, you think to yourself. Talking about himself in the third person.
>'We'll see if I can sort you out. It works on Demons. Let's see if it'll work on the living...'
>'See if what wor-MHMMMMM!'
>He's kissing you.
>No.
>Forget kissing you.
>He's making out with you.
>You pause for a second as this is going on.
>You ask God if he'll forgive you.
>1
>2
>3
>He's not going to answer is he?
>Fuck it.
>'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' you think.
>You'll show this spider what human beings can do.
>So you start kissing back.
>Aaaaand he's moaning.
>Wonderful.
>You start to feel up his shoulders and his chest.
>You pray to God that he'll forgive you this transgression.
>You know he won't...

I might continue this, I dunno.