[14:45]Natalie Mcbeef: "Applicant Deneith"
[14:45]Roen Deneith spotting Natalie, she walks to the Sultansworn, her expression somewhat sullen.
[14:46]Roen Deneith nods, her gaze lowering.  "Natalie."
[14:46]Natalie Mcbeef shakes her head, "You will call me Ser for the moment, You've lost that privilege until you explain your absence"
[14:47]Roen Deneith chews her lips. "My apologies. I have been..." She frowns, not knowing exactly what to say.  She nods, growing quieter. "Ser."
[14:47]Natalie Mcbeef gestures behind her, "Let's speak in private"
[14:47]Roen Deneith shifts in her stance, she nods.
[14:47]You have entered a sanctuary.
[14:48]Natalie Mcbeef exhales and turns around, her expression has softened slightly, "I am glad that you are unhurt at least"
[14:48]Roen Deneith inhales deeply, she looks to the ground. She seems to be struggling to choose her words.
[14:49]Natalie Mcbeef shakes her head, "Kage and My own thoughts assumed the worst when you disappeared"
[14:49]Roen Deneith blinks as she looks back to Natalie. That did surprise her. She nods again.
[14:49]Natalie Mcbeef frown, "Neither of us thought you would simply leave without a word"
[14:49]Natalie Mcbeef: "....again"
[14:49]Roen Deneith absently rubs the back of her neck, there is a hint of a large bruise that is resolving there. She is grateful the rest is unseen under the armor.
[14:50]Roen Deneith presses her lips with an apologetic frown.  "I... I know. I did. Again."
[14:50]Natalie Mcbeef sighs, "Why Roen"
[14:50]Natalie Mcbeef meets her eyes, "Do you really trust me so little?"
[14:51]Natalie Mcbeef: "Or is this all just a diversion to you?"
[14:51]Roen Deneith 's fingers curl into a fist next to her, her frown deepens.  She is still struggling to find the right words. She cannot.
[14:51]Natalie Mcbeef: "You leave when you are bored?"
[14:51]Roen Deneith shakes her head quickly. "This is not a diversion.  No. Please do not think that."
[14:51]Natalie Mcbeef steps forward, "Then what is it Roen?"
[14:52]Roen Deneith looks pained as she looks to Natalie. "It was..." She rubs her forehead.
[14:53]Roen Deneith: "Natalie. I... I cannot say." She finally sighs, her shoulders slumping.  She looks down.
[14:53]Natalie Mcbeef snarls and punches a guantleted fist into the wall, chips of stone flying outward
[14:53]Roen Deneith flinches.
[14:54]Natalie Mcbeef sits there for a moment, breathing heavily.
[14:54]Roen Deneith lets the silent pause fall between them, before she turns to look at Natalie's back.
[14:55]Natalie Mcbeef turns to face her, "Do you know why I accepted your training?"
[14:55]Roen Deneith does not like this, that much is clear. And yet, she cannot say.
[14:55]Roen Deneith shakes her head.
[14:55]Natalie Mcbeef has an unreadable expression on her face, "I saw much of myself in you, young confused, minsunderstood, wanting to make a difference but not sure how"
[14:56]Roen Deneith blinks rapidly.
[14:56]Natalie Mcbeef shakes her head slightly, her face stoney, "I knew you had your problems, but I allowed myself to ignore them, thinking that you would mature with time, that you would eventually overcome them"
[14:57]Natalie Mcbeef laughs bitterly, "But it appears I was deluding myself"
[14:58]Roen Deneith stares at Natalie, her frown deepening. "I am sorry, Natalie." Her voice is just above a whisper. "I did not... I do not want to fail you."
[14:59]Roen Deneith: "I..." She starts again, then stops herself. "I know my choices disappointed you. Would that I saw -any- other choice in this... would that I could have come to you--"
[15:00]Roen Deneith stops herself again. She shakes her head. "I could not."
[15:00]Natalie Mcbeef: "So instead you abandoned your duty, your friends, and your trust in me?" she chuckles, "Gods Roen, what was the other option?"
[15:01]Natalie Mcbeef turns around to face her fully
[15:01]Roen Deneith: "To let them die. To let my family die."
[15:01]Roen Deneith shakes her head. "I could not do that."
[15:02]Roen Deneith bows her head. "Nothing I have is worth their lives."
[15:02]Natalie Mcbeef frowns, "What?" she shakes her head, "How could confiding in me cause your family to die?"
[15:02]Natalie Mcbeef: "That's rediculous"
[15:03]Roen Deneith frowns again, hesitation and reluctance twisting her face. "You... my friends, all the Sultansworns were being watched."
[15:04]Roen Deneith: "They know of you. They know me. I knew who I can go to. I would I -not- come to you at the first sign of trouble?"
[15:04]Roen Deneith exhales and shakes her head. "Please Natalie, I cannot say more." She shakes her head. "I just... I could not come to you."
[15:05]Natalie Mcbeef laughs, "Roen, who has the resources to do such a thing, you know how many contacts I have"
[15:05]Roen Deneith >> that is "Why would I -not- come to you... blah blah"
[15:05]Natalie Mcbeef: "I can't be satisfied with such a farce of an excuse"
[15:05]Roen Deneith stares at her wordlessly.
[15:06]Roen Deneith meets her gaze for a moment longer, before she bows her head. "I could not take the chance. I know you are disappointed."
[15:07]Natalie Mcbeef shakes her head, "I am, but in me, not you"
[15:07]Natalie Mcbeef: "For beleiving that you were earnest, and overlooking your faults"
[15:07]Roen Deneith blinks again.
[15:07]Natalie Mcbeef: "Even now you explain it away with this... fairy tale"
[15:08]Natalie Mcbeef sighs, "But now I finally see it for what it is, and you for what you are"
[15:09]Roen Deneith looks crestfallen. She just... nods. There are no other words she can offer.
[15:09]Natalie Mcbeef walks by and pats her on the shoulder, "God help me I still like you Roen, despite all this, I'll handle the paperwork"
[15:10]Roen Deneith knew it was too much to hope that she could just return with everything that has happened.
[15:10]Natalie Mcbeef: "Make up a reason for your absence that doesn't sound to bad, you'll be barred from the order, but perhaps the flames will take you some day"
[15:12]Roen Deneith hangs her head, her lips pressed white.
[15:12]Roen Deneith 's eyes shut tight below the fall of her hair, she does not look back at Natalie.  She just... nods.
[15:13]Natalie Mcbeef squeezes her shoulder, "Not everyone is cut out for this Roen, as I said it was my fault for misjudging you"
[15:13]Roen Deneith: "Gratitude... for the opportunity..." She croaks under her breath, barely managing that much.
[15:14]Natalie Mcbeef smiles, "Good luck with wherever your life takes you Roen, however be a little more thoughtful of your friends in the future" she sighs "Kage was worried sick about you, as was I"
[15:14]Roen Deneith covers her eyes with her hand, it shakes with emotion. She nods as Natalie walks away.