Magnus Durability 6

Griffin: The three of you dive into the well. Um. It is fairly deep. You - you fall very slowly about, uh, forty feet into the well. And as you look up through a small circle of light, you see the night sky grow red. And then suddenly you hear one final scream from Gundren Rockseeker, uh, and then all of a sudden all you see is flame above you. Just a -

Travis: [overlapping] Well, tits.

Griffin: A giant burst of flame, uh, that blots out the sky and roars. It’s the loudest sound in the universe. It’s the loudest thing any of you have ever heard. Um. And… it lasts for about a minute and a half. And -

Travis: Could you demonstrate for us how that sounds, Griffin?

Clint: [chuckles]

Griffin: [growling, gravelly whoooo noise] But like, times a billion.

Travis: You’re probably gonna need a deep breath, for a minute and a half.

Griffin: I can’t - I’m not - I can’t.

Clint: He doesn’t have enough phlegm.

Griffin: I just can’t do it. Um. So that, uh, that just happened. Uh. You look over at Killian, uh. She actually is unconscious at the bottom of the well. You see that she hit her head, um, as she was falling, even though she was falling fairly slowly. Maybe it was the -

Clint: Was there water in the well?

Griffin: No, it’s an empty well. Suddenly, the - you think maybe the three of you landing on top of her probably, uh, aided to her unconscious state.

Justin: Well, it was her dumb idea.

Griffin: That is true. That was on her.

Justin: And so are we.

Clint: [laughs]

Justin: Thank you, dad.

Griffin: That was pretty good. Um.

Travis: So now we’re just like, at the bottom of uh, a well, right?

Griffin: Yeah.

Travis: Cool. Good look.

Justin:
	Taako: Well this is going good!

Clint:
 Merle: We really suck at this, so far.

Travis:
Magnus: You know, in retrospect, I regret helping that Kurtze kid?

Justin:
	Taako: I wish we’d killed Kurtze, I was just thinking!

Travis:
	Magnus: I wish we’d killed Kurtze too!

Justin:
Taako: I wish we’d killed Kurtze.

Travis:
Magnus: But you know what? A lot of woulda-coulda-shoulda. You know what I mean?

[Clint & Justin laughing]

Justin:
	Taako: That’s true. Wish in one hand, spit in the other.

Travis:
	Magnus: Yeah, hindsight. 20/20.

Justin: (overlapping)
	Taako: Wish in a hand and spit on it, right? Classic.

[Clint laughs]

Travis:
	Magnus: I say you just, you keep moving forward.

Justin:
	Taako: Can anybody levitate or anything?

[Griffin laughs loudly]

Travis:
Magnus: I think we just live at the bottom of this well now.

Griffin: Uh, the - the well is actually - the interior of the well is, um, made of sortof these large cobblestones, you think maybe, um, with enough -

Clint: AKA, climbable.

{22:17}

Griffin: Yeah, it’s climbable, you think maybe you could uh, with a good enough climbing check you could - maybe one of you could sort of shimmy your way up and maybe drop a rope for the others.

Clint:
Merle: I say Magnus.

Travis: Wait, hold on - I take her crossbow.

Griffin: Okay! Yeah, you take her crossbow from her unconscious body.

Justin:
	Taako: Nice!

Travis: And I wake her up with the crossbow pointed at her.

Griffin: Okay. You - you slap her face, she doesn’t wake up.

Travis: Okay, she’s dead, let’s go!

Griffin: She is - she is thoroughly concussed.

Travis: I don’t want to just leave her…

Clint: [overlapping]
Merle: We - no, we gotta take her.

Justin:
Taako: She’s got a magic feather duster! And if I know anything about magic, that’s gonna be good for dusting.

Travis: I also take the magic feather duster and the, uh, remote control.

Griffin: Okay. Yeah, you take all that stuff.

Justin:
	Taako: I want the magic - I want the feather duster!

Travis:
	Magnus: You can have it in a little bit.

Justin:
	Taako: It’s magical!

Travis:
	Magnus: Okay, you can have the feather duster.

Justin: [overlapping]
	Taako: It’s for me!

Griffin: Justin, with your magic feather duster, and your magic umbrella, so far you’re looking kinda Poppins-esque.

[Travis laughs]

Griffin: All you need is a bag of holding. Because she actually had one of those in the movie.

Clint: I take the bag of holding!

Griffin: Well you don’t - She didn’t -

Justin: He means Mary Poppins!

Griffin: You got very confused there.

Travis: Okay. I climb the well, I drop a rope -

Griffin: Well you’re gonna make a check, dawg. You can’t just say shit, and then have it happen. This isn’t -

Travis: Okay, I climb the well.

Clint: I fly out of the well!

Griffin: This isn’t “The Secret”.

[Clint laughs]

Travis: I got, uh - what is it - acrobatics, or athletics?

Griffin: Is there not a climbing skill?

Travis: No. I think it’s athletics. Yeah. Um, I rolled a nineteen.

Griffin: Okay. Uh, yeah, that is sufficient. It’s a looong hike, um, up to the top, but you manage to crest the top of the well. The uh, the structure at the top of the well, right? The, um, I don’t know what it would be called, the top of the well with the - the bucket and the rope and pulley and all that shit, is gone. It’s just gone. It’s gone. Uh. And as you look around you realize everything’s gone. Phandalin’s gone. Um. As you put the arm up over the edge of the well to pull yourself up, uh, you hear that same [plink] sound. Um.

Justin: [quietly] Ohhhh.

Griffin: Because the uh, the entire town, where it used to be, you look around and for about a half-mile in, in diameter, all that you can see is black glass. A circle of black glass on the ground.

Travis: Well, this all sucks.

-Ep. 6, Here There Be Gerblins, 19:25