*a folded note jammed beneath his door*

morde i wanted to say this in person but i dont think i can not any more i dont want you to hurt me any more i just want to fix what i can for the both of us

i dont want to lose you i know you want me to be strong and i swear to god im trying everything i can and i will never stop trying and i will do whatever i can to make you happy I don't want to lose you

i will go to the ends of the earth just to make things the way they were i want them to be the way they were

i know how hurt you are i saw the look in your eyes and heard the names you called me and nothing has been the same since but i want them to be the same i just want things to be okay

if you dont want me to sleep with him then i wont if you want me to stop loving him then i will i promise you morde i dont want to love him any more not after that i dont want to lose you please dont leave

im scared morde, im scared of you and your words and i shouldnt ever be scared of the man i love and i know i probably deserve it but its not right and i dont know how we got to this point we shouldnt be here we should be laughing and sharing cupcakes and watching movies like we used to we should be thinking about our future getting married and having kids and i know i was so reluctant before but i want it i want to spend the rest of my life with you and i always have

i still wear your ring and every night i kiss the ruby before i go to sleep even the night before because i cant kiss your lips im too scared to kiss you

i dont want to be scared anymore please just tell me im doing something right no more with him nothing i promise i wont cry i wont even breathe unless you tell me to please just tell me things will be okay i just want you happy please tell me how to make you happy again