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- from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel General Thread #223
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- Other, related post:
- >Well he was promised his kids would have lives of ease. Lucy just never said how long it would last or if it would help them.
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- >Even swapped katie is insufferable
- >Nice
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- >i think shed be insufferable for a different reason. not a complete cunt, maybe just a slime ball of a human? sinner?
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- >Well, we'll have to wait until the artist draws her, but I'd imagine she's like Tom, in a way: not so much obnoxious as unreliable - much like how Tom would commit a faux pass (by Katie's standards) while live on air, Swapped!Katie would have lowered standards - she had embraced Hell, and thus, is more difficult to work with.
- >Since I've always speculated that her death was either due to suicide (hanging), or overdose, and I went with the former in Canon!Katie's case, I've decide to go with the latter in Swapped!Katie's.
- >She's a nervous wreck who has to start the day with a line of cocaine, and has the daily dietary habits that would put Hunter S. Thompson in his heyday to shame, and, much like Canon!Tom's a horndog, she's a bit of a nympho, especially when sufficiently coked up - which is also what she needs to be in order to do her job properly, much to Swapped!Tom's chagrin.
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- >>She's interviewed gospel a few times
- >>Each time she's made no less than ten attempts at getting into his pants
- >>On or off the air
- >>They were pretty high rated, mostky because the sinners of hell liked watching Katie embarrass herself on live tv
- >>Bratislav asked him why he keeps going
- >"I go because its the easiest way to shut her up. I never thought someone could make phone calls that much but she surprised me."
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- >Makes you wonder how Swapped!Tom deals with it.
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- >by fucking her?
- Cont.
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- >Could be.
- >Although, I think their relationship would be a bit different.
- >Maybe Swapped!Tom was an officer, not just a private, and thus, is a bit more conservative and old-fashioned.
- >It's he who has the standard in this pair, so his relationship with Swapped!Katie maybe a bit more father-daughter like (in a fucked up way), since he constantly has to look after her.
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- >"Hey tom, what's our relationship like?"
- >>"Tags on pornhub."
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- >On the other hand, she's a nicer person (much like how Tom is, though, to what extent, we don't know), so neither she, nor Tom would laugh at Swapped!Alastor's idea about the Hotel, but would rather grill him (perhaps, in an increasingly incredulous or condescending way) about how he's planning on making that plan come to fruition.
- >The fight breaks out when Tom initiates a "gentlemanly" duel because of a dispute over who does and doesn't deserve to be redeemed (after Alastor's song, and after they discover tha Vaggie is the first patron - and broke her clean streak by helping "Sir" Pent against Cherri)... Which sets of a Rube-Goldberg-esque chain reaction that wrecks the studio, and drenches Katie in water.
- Cont.
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- >For reference, here's Hunter S. Thompson's daily routine, from his Gonzo Journalism days:
- >3:00 p.m.
- >>R I S E
- >3:05
- >>Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills
- >3:45
- >>cocaine
- >3:50
- >>another glass of Chivas, Dunhill
- >4:05
- >>first cup of coffee, Dunhill
- >4:15
- >>cocaine
- >4:16
- >>orange juice, Dunhill
- >4:30
- >>cocaine
- >4:54
- >>cocaine
- >5:05
- >>cocaine
- >5:11
- >>coffee, Dunhills
- >5:30
- >>more ice in the Chivas
- >5:45
- >>cocaine, etc., etc.
- >6:00
- >>grass to take the edge off the day
- >7:05
- >>Woody Creek Tavern for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of Chivas)
- >9:00
- >>starts snorting cocaine seriously
- >(etc.)
- >...And Swapped!Katie tops all of this.
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- >that's a lotta fuckin drugs
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- >And that was just the first half of his night, err, day!
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- >How the fuck did he survive into 05? he shoulda died from that shit!
- Cont.
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- >Cherri's talking to Katie during an interview.
- >>"Like, I've tried loosing weight, but some always seems to stick to me."
- >>grabs the small amount of chubb on her stomach to demonstrate
- >>"I'd die again to have your figure! What's your secret, Katie?"
- >>Katie, twitching and jittering, holds up a bag full of white powder
- >>"Have you tried COCAINE?!"
- >>Cherri nervously backs away, while Tom comes to try to take Katie off camera
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- >Katie lookin like this (pic related)
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- >>after Katie's seventh bender that week (and it's only Monday), Tom has had enough
- >>"That's it! I'll stay with you tonight, and make sure you stay clean until tomorrow!
- >>Katie begrudgingly agrees - but only because she can't recall if breakfast as a concept still exists in her life, and Tom's said to make a mean Poutine
- >>Tom's proud of himself, for finally putting his foot down
- >>...Then, come next morning, he finds himself in bed, with Katie nuzzled up to him, his mask's filter coated with white powder, and his mouth dry
- >>"Oh, God damn it."
- --
- >All's well that ends well, right?
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