Hypocrites and pharisees
July 5th, 2010

A while ago, someone came to me and gave me some data involving AT&T iPad customers to publicize, the full story of which I’m sure you’re all familiar with from my previous excellent blog posts. I was subsequently raided by the FBI and arrested, though I have been under gag orders and haven’t been able to discuss the details of what happened. I am now violating those gag orders because my civil liberties are being grossly violated– I have even been denied a public defense attorney on an imprisonable offense. I believe that speaking out is my only hope at being saved, and my story is important reading for anybody that uses the Internet for political speech.

The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers posts on a lawfirm which did the exact same thing the author of the iPad slurper script did– incremented a numerical identifier on a public HTTP server to scrape data. They used this technique to take data from the Anthem/Blue Cross insurance company.

Was that data the law firm grabbed undefined as personal information according to any public statutes like Goatse’s? No, actually! It was medical records (protected by HIPAA) and Social Security numbers, protected by at least the privacy statues of California and Massachusetts!

Did the law firm scramble as Goatse Security did to ensure that the vendor would have the opportunity to patch the data? No! They spent as long as they could manage scraping the data, as opposed to the mere hours that the iPad slurper did in the interim while AT&T fixed the vulnerability!

Did the law firm collect and use the data solely in public interest, destroying it after it was used to notify the public of the vulnerability? No! The law firm collected the data for purposes of private monetary gain, and as far as I know still have a copy!

Has the law firm been raided by the FBI and had its property stolen without cause? No!

Has the law firm had drugs “found” (and found is in quotes for a good reason, as the drugs “found” near me were “found” in the execution of a warrant for computers only, with a landmark free speech case involving a very angry 150 billion dollar corporation in the balance) within its offices? No!

There’s also a case of a security researcher that recently found a privacy flaw in Foursquare and used it to scrape hundreds of thousands of private location updates, without the advance notification of Foursquare. Was this security researcher similarly raided by the FBI without probable cause? No. The utter hypocrisy of this case is astounding.

My actions and those of Goatse were not criminal; they were done using industry standard practices as a public service. All the actions of the original author of this exploit were not criminal. Scraping data from a public web server is an extremely common practice amongst lawyers, security researchers and journalists, not to mention web developers. I have even talked to journalists who have collected stolen credit cards to discuss the implications with the victims who are involved. Hell, if scraping data from a public webserver becomes criminal, virtually all of the content that appears on Google News or Google Blogsearch is going to send someone to jail.

The warrant was executed without probable cause, as there is no way a reasonable and educated person could believe a crime was committed.

Beyond that, my role in this was solely that of a journalist. I never took credit for the collecting of the data itself. I was a publicist and as evidenced by the way this story took off with proper seeding, I am damn good at that. I took data that someone gave me anonymously and let the world know about it in what I thought was the most efficient way possible. I am being persecuted solely because my speech has angered a large corporation. I have been threatened with indictment from the Assistant US Attorney on the case, as evidenced in these screenshots:

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I have received similar threats in the past day to be prosecuted on the basis of “computer intrusion” if I do not give the prosecutor in this case the information he wants, which I do not have.

I have even been denied my right to attorney for a jailable offense, in violation of the US constitution, Gideon v. Wainright, and title 16 of Arkansas law, as evidenced by this court memorandum. It took several attempts of visiting the courthouse and begging to even get that memorandum to show you that I was even being denied an attorney.

This is a complete miscarriage of the justice system, and the perpetrators are scribes serving pharisees and hypocrites.

Why my case is important to you

My case is absolutely important to bloggers and journalists. My case involves speech, and speech alone. If I’m threatened today, you are threatened tomorrow. The ability for bloggers and journalists to blow the whistle on corporate and government misdeeds is on the line here.

If you are a website operator of any kind, my case is important to you. The idea that you could be held liable for telling people about user-generated content is a nightmare.

If you are a security professional, this case is obviously important to you. Full disclosure is important to the security community, and is the only way independent researchers can build a name and business for themselves. It is also the only way which the public can be informed and educated about risks to their safety.

If you are a proponent of civil liberties, my case is important to you. This is the first amendment on the line, and I will be first, because I have been actually exercising my right to speak freely when things are tolerable. Very soon, things in this country will be much less tolerable, and if I am sent to prison the precedent will gag your mouths as well.

If you are a fan of the lulz, my case is important to you. I am the master of the art of the spectacle, and if you would like to see more spectacles you want me to stay on the streets. Support me and I promise you dividends in lulz for all eternity.

Not the first time my civil liberties have been violated

The federal government has a long history in violating my civil liberties. In 2008, I became dissatisfied with the public dialogue on the conflict over Israel. In this debate, the first party says “we must unequivocally support Israel’s genocide of the Palestinian people, crimes against humanity and continued acts of espionage against our nation”. The other party says, “it is complicated.”

The first statement is extreme and evil. The second is just plain wrong. I decided to make some videos to balance out the dialogue which consisted largely of support for the absolutely absurd policy of the genocide of Palestinians. So I made some obviously parodic videos consisting of support of the equally absurd policy of genocide of the Jews. Which, besides being an obvious joke, were constitutionally protected speech under Brandenburg v. Ohio.

Let me elaborate on “obviously parodic”. By obviously parodic, in one of them I am wearing a luchador mask and preparing to blow up a pinata shaped like a giraffe while “American barbie did world trade center” scrolls across the frame. In another, I am commanding my “followers” (my audience who is well aware that this is a comedy show) that our faith includes a commandment of wearing temporary tattoos featuring an image of my friend’s dog. In another I am blaming Farrah Fawcett’s death by anal cancer as a result of HPV picked up from anal sex with Jews. In summation, if you took these videos at face value you are a complete idiot.

The reality that these videos were an obvious joke should only be enhanced by the fact that there is a Forbes article comparing me to Shakespeare’s puck and a Fox News article calling my rhetoric “offensive and witty detail”.

Any attempt to brand me an anti-Semite is idiotic. I have no problem with any person solely because of their Semitic descent. Take a look at my last name, “Auernheimer”. Think about the likely origins of this name for a second. Even a quick Google reveals its origins. The most famous Auernheimer of history, journalist and author Raoul Auernheimer, had his way bought from the fires of Dachau by his uncle, Theodore Herzl himself. Come on, I have curly hair and brown eyes here. The claim many “journalists” are making that I am some sort of Nazi is preposterous, but I suppose you have to resort to ad hominem when the public overwhelmingly supported me on the basis of the facts of the case.

So what did the federal government do in response to my videos?

Why, they try to cast me as a synagogue-threatening nutjob in the public eye. I have never threatened a synagogue, nor encouraged anyone else to. I would never do so. How did my name get attached to this?

Let us say, hypothetically, that you’re an FBI agent named Mueller. You have someone whose speech you want to silence. You call up a 3rd party who you have control over, likely a confidential informant absolutely beholden to you because you can put him in prison for unsatisfactory performance. You tell this informant to make threatening phone calls to a synagogue. You then posit that the person whose speech you want to chill is responsible to the victim, and have them report it to the police.

Now that your target has been accused of a terrorist act, they get your name on all the watchlists and your pals at the FBI have “justification” to:

Have a Jewish group publish their name and license plate number in a Jewish publication associating their name with threats of violence to a synagogue, despite the fact that they never had anything to do with such threats and their constitutional right to pseudonymous communication which has been affirmed by many court precedents both appelate and supreme. This article will later be relinked to and quoted by many Jewish reporters and used against your target. Said reporters will convienently forget to publish the part that says some other dude made the threats and not your target.
Break into their house and steal hundreds of thousands of dollars of their assets on secret warrants while they are away on vacation, never delivering them a list of stolen property or any means to verify that it happened. They will never get their stuff back. Yes, this happened to me. Yes, I called lawyers. I was told without surveillance footage or some other proof of the theft I had no real ground to stand on.
Go to their business partners, friends and family and tell them outright lies (they said I “ran klan meetings in the desert” and “manufactured grenades”, no joke). Due to crown immunity, you can never sue the FBI for libel, no matter what they say!
Go to the customers of their newly formed business, which they have invested all liquid capital in and tell them they are funding terrorism. They will no longer have customers.
Hand the target items which appear to be contraband in attempts to either frame the target for crimes or put psychological pressures on him.
All this because I dared put forward some politics, religion and humor that the establishment doesn’t like. I suppose I received better than Anwar al-Awlaki, a US citizen practicing his faith who received execution orders without trial signed by our Pharoah in return for merely speaking his mind.

I put at risk and lost my business because I believed in speaking out against injustice. I could have shut up, continued receiving a six figure salary and living a pointless life based on fleecing other people. I put it all on the line because of two reasons:

After getting all that stuff they have us chasing after, I realized it was all a load of garbage and wasn’t a sufficient bribe to sit in my castle in the sky and watch the freedoms our forefathers fought and died for be flushed down the toilet.
I consider the absolute disdain our illegitimate leaders have for the Constitution the most important problem to be solved in our time.
I have empirically proven by experimentation that free speech is gravely threatened in this country. I have only spoken up for what I believe in through politics, religion and humor, the three big constitutional safeguards. Beyond that, other aspects of my speech have been lawful behavior in the service of the public. I have been endlessly persecuted by a government occupied by evil for it. They have libeled me with lies in the public forum, stolen my assets, attempted to frame me for crimes, brought false charges against me, terrorized my friends and family (including threatening my mother with rape), and intentionally destroyed my business. The agents of the federal government that attack me truly hate rule of law and the Constitution, and have hijacked federal funds to silence my speech. The founders understood the need for free speech and the marketplace of ideas. These FBI agents have shown they care little for the protections of the constitution, and should be charged with treason.

I’ve also been subject to “journalists” with a complete lack of integrity telling blatant lies about me. For example, Mattathias Schwartz claimed in the New York Times that I demanded ransom payments for the daughters of corporate executives. This came out of nowhere– I’ve never done such a thing, never claimed to do such a thing, and would do no such thing. As far as I can tell, he paid someone to say it. He didn’t want the story I gave him. It was a story of philosophy, politics and Christianity. He also was visibly distraught when I called Sigmund Freud a child molester (which he was), Israel a nation run by genocidal sociopaths, and the Federal Reserve a privately owned institution to enforce a dynastic oligopoly over credit (which it is). So he made his own story, where I was turned into some fictitious character for his benefit. The whole thing reminded me of disgraced journalist Stephen Glass (though less entertaining). It was pretty funny when it happened, but now that his lies are being used against me to a jury it isn’t as humorous.

Or consider Fast Company, which posted a picture out of context of me holding a bag of white powder. This bag of white powder was something called Piracetam. It is a perfectly legal nutritional supplement along the lines of Ginkgo Biloba– it improves memory. It was in a thread with me asking people what nutritional supplements they take. Out of context, it makes me look like a drug dealer. Such deliberate dishonesty has become a matter of course for “journalists” who have a personal dislike of me.

I’ve been subject to abuses of the system like you wouldn’t believe, and need serious help getting out of this. After I’m done, we need to work together to set up a system where these people won’t merely be punished in the next life, but this one as well.

The current nightmare, and what you can do to help

When I was made a detainee at the Washington County jail, after my phonecall two FBI agents from Newark came by and delivered a document. They stated I had 3 days to respond to said document or I would be given a new charge of contempt. The document was placed in my belongings up front, and I was promptly thrown into solitary confinement. I was not allowed to view the document to write a response to it. I was not able to contact anyone on the outside (such as my bondswoman). If she hadn’t noticed my picture in the paper and come to rescue me, I might still be in jail.

After having my money stolen and business ruined by the FBI because I dared speak my mind in a lawful manner, I am no longer in decent financial shape. I have been denied a public defender by the Fayetteville courthouse. I have had all my computers seized on a warrant which could not possibly have had probable cause, and thus am lacking the very materials I would need to take this pro se. My requests to get a copy of the secret warrant used to steal my property have been stonewalled by state and federal authorities.

As I have been denied my constitutional rights to an attorney, I need help to make the retainer for a private one. This is not a burden I can continue to bear alone. This is the sort of thing which went on before the crumbling of the Soviet Union. This tyrannical bureaucratic torture should not happen to US citizens. I do not want America to crumble, and I want to continue my work defending the United States Constitution and protecting the American people from cyberthreats. To defend myself, I need money. I’ve never needed nor asked for help before, but I am really in trouble this time. If you could spare some cash to donate, please paypal some cash to: snailcricket@gmail.com

Please write letters to your local, state and national representatives. If you happen to know any attorneys who would be willing to take this case let me know. I am at the end of my rope. My largest hope at this point is that history will record my future actions in the context of the illegal injustice that has been done to me.