To the Moon and Back! Part 3

// Script starts with the listener opening the door to his apartment; they are extremely enthusiastic about seeing you. //

[overwhelmed] Heyy, Woah, hugs! Yes! Hugs! You're awfully chipper today!

Yes, I'm glad to see you too and holy jeezus, you... renovated! Is that your mattress? You converted your apartment into a blanket fort! Is that the 'special surprise' you were talking about?

Oh, it's *one* of them? [amazement + wonder] I dunno how you're gonna top this though, this is, incredible. I never knew you owned so many blankets! I know you love soft, fuzzy things, but I don't remember you ever having *this* many. Did you buy more-- [sudden break]

Wait is that-- Yea, that's my hoodie. [smug “you’re full of shit, aren’t you”]

 Oh, it's not. Mmmm yes, that's why the mere *suggestion* of its existence had you diving across the room to bury it under the covers.

[as if talking to a small child] Come on, give it back, sweetheart.

 Pretty please?

 Good~boy~. [puts on jacket] Why do you have my hoodie anyway? Did I just forget it at some point?

[Progressively getting smugger] No... You *stole* it-- didn't you?

 How do I know that? Well, one, you're getting that look again; the one where you know you did something super cute and you are just *eagerly* waiting for me to fawn over you.

Oh, you *claim* you hate being embarrassed, but, I see your eyes go wide. I see you suppressing that coy smile. You just *love*  sweet, sappy attention, don't you? Well, my adorable little Neko, [leans in, sing-song] why'd you take it? Hmm?

You like the way I smell, don't you?

 Aww, it helps you sleep? Your sweetness and adorableness knows no bounds. [tension released, relaxed] Well, if you ever want anything of mine, again, let me know. Lucky for you, you never have to worry about my clothes fitting too tightly!

 Aw, don't pout! Actually, keep pouting, it's kind of adorable.

You *are* small, and that's okay! For one, it means that it's easier for me to hold you! Speaking of, I *need* to lie down in this blanket heaven you've made 'cause ooooh boy is that *a lot* of pillows.

*flumph* God, where do you even *keep*-- these-- [confusion, the listener is awkwardly staring at you] hel~lo...? You're feeling awfully brave today, aren't you? Usually *I'm* the one sitting in *your* lap. Uhm, are you gonna say something?

You're-- you're just gonna get closer. okay? ... Are-- Are you challenging me to a staring contest, are you gonna kiss me, orr.

// Listener mumbles and drops eye contact. //

Hmm? What did you say? I couldn't understand you.

// Listener mumbles a little louder, but not any clearer. //

I Still can't, you're gonna have to speak up, bud, you're mumbling to yourself. Hey, are-- you feeling okay? [realizes the listener is having a panic attack; reassuringly]

 No? Okay, alright, that's fine, that's fine, we're in the perfect position for hugs, all you gotta do is just fall onto me, there you go and holy Jesus your heart is racing. [attempt at humor to alleviate stress]

Were you going to tell me you're a government spy or something? Do you know the secret to the ruins of Atlantis? [doesn’t work] Just a panic attack? Okay, well, that's not as fun, but that's fine, too.

Alright, I want you to try to breathe with me, okay? I know it's hard, but all you have to do is try. Okay, In *breathe* and out *breathe* In *breathe* Out *breathe* In *breathe* Out--

// Listener says “I Love you” very loudly + forcibly. //

WHAT!?

No, I heard you this time, but, [ecstatic, over-energized; forgets listener is still incredibly anxious and not ready to handle big energy] say it again! Come on, you did it so well! Just one more time? For me? Aw, come on, where did your confidence go? Here, let's flip you *over* and *I'll* sit in your lap this time. Since you want to be a shy, shy boy, you have to be on the *bottom*. Now, look at me~ Come on, look at me~ Now, what's all this about you loving me?

You know I'm only teasing, right? It's all in good fun. [Realization that you pressed too hard]

It's-- not all in good fun?

 You didn't sleep? You were that anxious? Why didn't you text-- oh, yea. Duh. [guilt] Wow, I'm, I'm so sorry; I shouldn't be teasing you for something that hits so close like that. I only do it to try to make things more light-hearted, you know? And 'cause I know you love it when I fawn over you. I'm sorry to poke you somewhere so sensitive. I was trying to make you smile, but I ended up causing a lot of pain. Please forgive me.

// Listener’s anxieties have cleared, tension reset //

Hugs’ll make it better? I can do that. [while hugging] Hey, you want to know another reason why I tease you so much? [lean in really close to mic + whisper] It's because I love you, too. [kiss]

// Listener is paralyzed! They can’t move! //

[same sort of energy as before, but without the listener’s anxiety] Oh, your face! You look completely starstruck! How's your heart doi~ng oh my god it's beating even faster! Oh, hun, you are *too precious* for this world.

[escalates, peaks, and then falls hard to painful memories; your positivity/playfulness reminds the listener of when that type of love was facecitious] What? Did I mean it? Mean-- Of course, I love you! Why would I not?

I-- I remind you of your ex? The one who was manipulative and toxic; wait, what did I do??

She would play with you like I do? Like scritches, teasing, wrestling... But never anything else… [listener is tearing up, partly from remembering the pain, but also from the joy that it’s real this time] So you were like... a pet. Oh, sweetheart, come here. You are so precious to me, you are so much more than 'just a cute neko' to show off like a trophy. To treat you like that is such a disgrace. I look at you and I see a smart, sweet, innocent little boy with so much love for the world and everyone in it. And, I want to make sure that you get your share back, okay? Because you deserve the world. And, I want to be a part of that. I'll be here as long as you want me, okay?

[tension reset; upbeat until end of the script] Only for scritches? Well, you know, you *have* been incredibly brave today, I think you deserve some scritchies. You want something to drink first? Alright, I can get that. Any preference? Alright, just a second!

Doo, doo doo~ getting the-

// You turn to see Listener tackle you to the ground. //

[thud] OW! You baited me!

 It's revenge for pinning you down? Okay, but did you really have to tackle me onto a linoleum floor? I do need my spine, you know.

[Listener has the zoomies] The spine is *not* a vestigial organ. It's-- not even an organ! Hey, what-- [mixture of confusion, affection, and disgust] are you licking my face!? You- ughh and now you're smearing it with your cheeks. [same sort of vibe as when you eat over at someone’s house as a kid and their parents make something super gross and you have to pretend that you like it] Neko kisses? I--guess?? This feels soo~o weird~d.

[Defiant] I'm *not* turning red. No, you're the shy one, I'm not going to be beaten by-- [accepts defeat; fondly] really cute cheek rubs. God, every time I want to be frustrated, or exasperated, I look at you, I look into your eyes and I just can't be mad. You're too pure.

[FFS; Listener is now the one with too much energy] Now, please let me get up so I can get you that "drink" you wanted, and one for me. Also, because I know for a fact you're going to pounce on me again, please let me set them down first so I don't paint your living room a bright shade of orange.

Oh, I know you're going to.

Yes, you are. You insist you won't, but you sit on a throne of *lies*. And you're putting on your "I'm an angel" face, which *always* means you're about to do something mischievous; it has *not once* meant you were actually being an angel.

 *sigh* [Gives into listener’s playfulness] Fine, I'll play along.

[Deadpan] Oh boy, I sure am happy that I have this nice pillow fort to lay down in, but where oh where has my little Neko gone?

// Listener tackles you into many pillows. //

[slightly strained] // There he is! // [fully accepts a playful mood] Aw, and he's feeling extra playful today! He wants all the scritchies! You want all the scritchies, don't you? Who's a good boy? It's you! Yes you are! I know you know that, but you just lo~ve hearing me say it. Cause you lov~ve being a good boy, don't you? Uh-huh, you do, you do, you do~oo! You love being my special little Neko boy! The Neko boy who [baffled]-- somehow-- through magic-- gained the strength to tackle me to the ground.

Ah, it's all the sushi you eat? Heh, ~Popeye, the sailor cat~. *gasp* I know *exactly* what I want you to be for Halloween.

What? You'd make a *great* sailor! [wistful] Have the captain's hat resting in between your ears, get you all dressed up, have you in a suit, ooh it'd be great.

[indignant] No, I'm not *fantasizing* about you. I'm... "imagining the possibilities".

Well, it sounds better my way. [FFS] Come on, don't pretend like you've never fantasized about me wearing something.

 You never have~ I call bullshit, come on, what is it? Is it a maid outfit? [singsong] I bet it's a maid outfit~.

You fantasize about my hoodie? The one I'm wearing? Lame, I wear this hoodie all the time.

 Wait, you-- want to be zipped up in it? Like, with me inside of it? Oh hell yea, get your ass in here. Just big enough for the two of us~.

[pressing gently] Okay, but seriously, what do you fantasize about me wearing? I *refuse* to believe there isn't anything. How about this, I'm gonna guess and you'll tell me if I'm right or not. W

hat if you just deny everything? [smug] Oh, but see, you can't~. Your face will be a brigh~t shade of red when I guess right. Yes, it will~lll.

Okay, hmm. I remember you liking that sundress I wore on our first date, is that it? No? Hmmm, Okay, Rapid fire time. [blindly] Fishnets. Stockings? Heels?  short skirts? [remembers, confidently] running shorts?

// Listener doesn’t respond //

[gleeful] Running sho~rts? Did~ I~ hit~ bingo~? I~ hit~ bingo!! Aw, and now I have a furnace burying itself into my chest.

How'd I guess? Well, I was thinking back to our first date, and I remember you absolutely *refused* to make eye contact; you'd look everywhere *except* my eyes. I figured you were just shy and nervous and were just trying to get comfortable. That's fine. But, out of curiosity, I followed what you were looking at; you went from birds to trash cans, back to birds, some bushes, birds again, [progressively getting smugger] and then I remembered distinctly watching your head *slowly* *turn* as some chick ran by and your eyes *followed along* like a lost puppy.

// Listener is apologetic. //

How could I be mad? To be honest, I was watching with you. Running shorts are *hot*. Besides, you needed something pleasant to focus on. [smug] And, now I know what to wear to get your attention~ As if I have any trouble with that. Oh, you don't think so? -- *leans in* Good boy. See? Ears perk up *snaps* *instantly*.


Mood pulls back to a more serious, uplifting tone.


[heartfelt] Hey, how are you holding up?

This feels surreal? Feeling safe? That.. sounds like a really shitty life to live, hun. Well, that's how you're going to feel from now on if I have anything to say about it. You've solo'd the world for so long, and have done so well, but, it's *us* versus the world now, okay? I've loved watching you change and grow the past few months, and I am so proud of all that you've done. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year holds for us. I love you, buddy. To the moon and back.