They Must Never Know my Terrible Secret (Updated: 1.19.2019)

1.19.2019 - Added finale. [CTRL+F Part 2]

Yuri walked out of the movie theatre on cloud nine. The sky was dark, slightly illuminated by the snowfall gently blanketing her warm, grey wool coat. Rarely she felt so elated so as to look up at the sky and breath through her mouth, watching it crystallize into her sight right then and there. She smiled at the thin crescent which might have been the moon. It was everything she dreamed of, and more. To think she'd live long enough to see Twerk-light on the big screen!

Granted, it was a nostalgia trip more than anything. She wouldn't read it being who she was now, knowing what reading it entailed. However, Yuri could not neglect the countless nights in middle school holding a flashlight into the tiny nook and cranny on the side of her bed. With her head resting on a pillow, it peered into that special space to pore over the pages of fiction that was the highlight of her adolescence. She still held the habit that she picked up at the time - a hairclip to keep a section of her front bangs kept to the side.

Then when her eyes simply couldn't keep going she'd get a few hours of sleep before school; but not before her imagination would run wild, indulging in fantasies of what it would be like to be in a world of the supernatural, of dangerous vampires entangled in romance and not live the dreadful monotony of dull curriculum, forced interaction, and lunches stealthily scarfed down in the library.

It's different now, mostly, but when she heard that her favorite young adult series would be turning into a movie she just had to line up for a ticket on the first day. And see it again. And again. She wouldn't have enjoyed it so much had they not kept true to the book. The director just got so many things right, such as how the main vampire Edelgard would only suck blood through the decapitated heads of his enemies, the werewolves. It was that careful consideration for the lore and their aim to please the fans over everyone else that she really appreciated.

Ahh, this was so inspiring, she thought. I haven't done it in so long, but maybe tonight I'll find my old notebook and continue writing that fanfic-

"Hey, Yuri!? Yuri!!"

Her face went an instant-red and looked around erratically looking for the source of that voice. At the doors to the movie theater she saw Sayori waving her arms from the side to side like she just didn't care. Yuri cautiously looked behind her to see if there wasn't anyone else that she could've been waving to instead, and lifted her hand meekly in response before walking towards her.

"What'cha doing here?"

"Oh, uhm, you know, just, watching a movie, haha..."

"Oh wow! I didn't know you went out to watch movies! Like I thought you'd just watch a dvd at home, or read instead ehe!"

"U-usually I do that, but I really wanted to see this one in a theatre.."

"Oh! Which one?"

SHE CAN'T KNOW. Thankfully before Yuri stammered an obvious lie another club member spotted them.

"Oh? What are you two dorks doing here?"

"Natsuki? You went to see a movie tonight too?!" Sayori held her mouth slightly agape.

"Well, yeah. Why else would I be at a movie theatre?"

"Well...the arcade's super fun!!"

"Eh, they don't got Alley-way Fighter or Lime Crisis, and the only good machine is a shitty GGR knockoff, but, anyways..." Natsuki scratches her neck through her scarf, "What movie did you guys see?"

"I went to see Down! It was so sad!! I couldn't stop crying when the old man found the message in the old pictur-"

"D-Don't spoil it!" Natsuki covers her mouth with her hand before she ruined everything. "I haven't seen it yet, and I wanted to watch it too! Shoot..."

"Oh, oops. Ehehe! What movie did you see then, Natsuki?"

"Oh, it was an anime movie called 5 Seconds per centimeter. It got a lot of good reviews, so I figured it was worth seeing."

"Was it good?"

"Eh," she says with a small lift of her lip, and a shrug. "It was shitty romance hiding behind pretty visuals. How 'bout you Yuri?"

"H-huh?"

"What movie did you see?"

What movie did she see. What movie did she see. Her eyes frantically read the titles of the ads and the scrolling list of movies playing atop the doors. What sounded like something she'd watch?!

"Hi, everyone!"

"Woah, Monika?! When did you get here?!"

"You guys didn't notice me walk up to you? And you didn't invite me to your movie gathering too? I'm hurt.."

"No, no, we all just happened to watch a movie tonight at the same time - we would never do that!"

"Oh, then, what a coincidence. What did you guys end up watching?"

"Sayori watched Down, I watched 5 Seconds. I don't know what Yuri watched..?"

Natsuki and Monika looked over at Yuri visibly sweating, waiting for her to finish the sentence.

"Guuuuuuuys, I'm hungry! Let's go talk about this with some food in front of us!"

"Mhm, let's do that. But what's open right now?"

"I don't know, let's just go to Borgor Kang. It's down the block."

"Okay, sure! Let me just go tell my friends I'm going with you guys."

"They won't get mad you're ditching them?"

"Aha, I don't care. I'd rather eat with you guys~"

Too many close calls. Yuri followed behind the entourage of club members all chatting and laughing, while furiously trying to google a movie that she could've watched other then Twerk-light. She would not have the people she genuinely cared for mistake her for one of...one of those kinds of people. No. She did not want that to happen again. She couldn't stand those judgmental looks she etched into her memory drawn across their faces. They walked through the doors of Borgor Kang and Yuri was ready - knowing more than just what to order.

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Part 2:

"Seriously? A salad? I thought you were hungry, come on!"

"I am but, I have to watch my weight..." Sayori says, outlining her youthful belly, after setting her tray atop the 4-seat table.

"You know that has as much calories as a Blooper™, right?" Natsuki says, showing off her fangs as she smirks.

"Whaat, no way!!" She moans and looks like she's about to tear up before shoveling a forkful into her mouth.

"And Yuri, are you really eating that!? There's no way you can finish it."

"Y-Yeah..." She blushes as she unwrapped her Bull Rider™ burger, a behemoth holding 2 meat patties, 3 pieces of bacon and cheese, and onion rings to boot. She knew this would probably make her sick, but she figured maybe if it actually did, then she'd have a clean excuse to leave immediately. She took her first bite and could already feel her taste buds protesting. Well, maybe she'd be too busy eating to talk - it really was too much...

She swallows and manages a smile. "S-So good! Sometimes a girl's gotta pig out, don't you think? Hehehehe.."

"You? Pig out? Hmph, maybe when I see one flying, but I guess any excess fat goes to those cans of yours anyways, right?! Hahaha! I mean-"

"Natsuki." Monika says as she sets down her veggie burger. "Why don't you get something to eat yourself? That way your mouth will be occupied with something other than criticizing our meals." Her face displays a soft smile and closed, encouraging eyes.

"I-" Her voice goes limp. "I'm not that hungry."

"Whaat?!" Sayori sets down her fork. "Natsuki, not hungry? That's impossible! What's wrong?"

"Nothing! I-I'm just not, okay? I don't like Borger Kang anyways." She crosses her arms.

"Aha, aren't you the one that suggested-"

"I-I know!" Sayori lifts up a finger into the air. "How 'bout I treat you today, anything you want!" Natsuki recoils in her seat, trying to stutter a response. "Yeah, yeah! You always bake us your amazing cupcakes all the time, so it's the least I can do for you!"

"No seriously, it's fine." Natsuki holds up her hands in protest, but Sayori simply takes it as an opportunity to grab them. "Wah!"

"Come on, tell me what you want!" Sayori drags her out of her seat and railroads her into getting a free meal. They walk away, but the protests still seem like they're coming from the table. Monika chuckles, and shakes her head as she slides a fry into her mouth.

"Oh Sayori." Admittedly, the line wasn't too long. The only patrons in the joint were fellow movie-goers, shady night owls, and the single bum trying to catch a break from the cold. It was late enough that one wonders how their parents weren't all currently furiously sending them texts or phone calls through their tears and sobs. A silent blessing to roam free. A special night for four teenage girls - what better way to spend it than with friends?

"So, Yuri..." Monika begins, breaking the ice before taking a good, long sip from her beverage. "How's the burger?"

"Great-Great!" She replies and nibbles on another chunk, too afraid she'll just let her secret slip.

"Mhm." Another drag. An exhale from how refreshing it was. "As good as when Edelgard sparkled in the sunlight?"

Yuri violently coughs out her food.

"Ahaha, oh gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd react like that!"

"How do you know?!" She looks at Monika like her life is being threatened with a stake.

"I watched it too, Yuri. I saw you seated in the middle row." She admits apologetically.

She eases up. "R-Really?"

"Yeah. Me and my friends wanted to see how bad it was, but it wasn't, really. It really felt like I was reading the first book all over again! It's nice when movie adaptations feel like that. Erm, what's with the look you're giving me right now?" Monika asks with a grin and knit eyebrows.

"N-n-nothing!" Her eyes try to focus on anything else but Monika. "I-I just didn't think you'd be the kind of person that would be into weird things like Twerk-light, that's all."

"Huh? Twerk-light isn't weird. What, it's true! Every girl I know has at least read the first book - it's really popular for girls our age. It may not be the best thing, but books like Twerk-Light or Habby Pa'aa really take you down memory lane, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess so." Yuri looks down at her burger with a small smile.

"Hey, I'm sure Natsuki and Sayori has read it too, just ask. Maybe we can talk about it for next meeting!" Monika then notices the anxiety crawl up Yuri's neck. "But, you don't have to if you don't want to. Every girl has her secrets after all~" She winks but Yuri bursts out in a chortle.

"That was quite corny of you."

"W-Well, anyways, if you want to tell them what you saw tonight and open up a bit to your fellow literature club members, feel free to do so. I won't try to force you to do anything you're not comfortable with, though. But in my heart, I know that they'd like to know what movie you watched." She gives a small smile and returns to her cold vegetation.

"T-Thanks, Monika." The other two girls return and Natsuki slumps back into her seat.

"Ice cream? At this time of the year?" Yuri inquires, beating Monika to the punch of critiquing her meal choices at Borgor Kang.

"I kept telling her, I'm not a charity case, you don't owe me anything - she wouldn't listen. So I got something cheap - are you happy now?" Natsuki takes another lick at a fuming Sayori.

"I'm determined to keep buying you food until it matches the cost of your cupcake ingredients!"

"It was the price of this ice cream, actually."

"Really?!" She goes jaw-dropped.

"No." She licks again.

"Natsuki!!" Sayori lightly smacks her arm and as they continue to fight and as Monika chuckles, Yuri takes a deep breath.

She fakes a cough. "Um!" Everyone looks towards her with curiosity, and one with hopeful anticipation. She never liked being the centre of attention, and for something that was apparently so minuscule...

She never spoke up. Expressing herself would rarely ever work in her favour. No one enjoyed, nor had the patience for what she wanted to say. No one would give her the time a pen and piece of paper could. Besides, it was preferable to simply hide behind a good book, but she realizes she can't always retreat to that safeguarded bastion. Trouble always ends up reaching her anyhow.

So it's better to confront the present, then let the past haunt you, she thinks. What better practice to be able to do that, than with the people right in front of her? Who have already accepted her so far despite being who she's always been? Maybe she doesn't have to change, but with these people, change feels inevitable.

Yuri takes another deep breath. She sees the world outside move so slowly, and for the first time she could clearly feel the words she was about to annunciate from her mouth.


"So the movie I watched tonight, it happened to be..."

-END-