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  1. Anyways.
  2. SIaughterz: I told Jude what happened. I was doing it to drag him into the drama.
  3. SIaughterz: But he thought of it as that.
  4. SIaughterz: Robyn was in his messages saying
  5. SIaughterz: "get ur gf she needs to stop"
  6. SIaughterz: apparently I was harassing her.
  7. SIaughterz  rolls ma eyes
  8. SIaughterz: but anyways.
  9. SIaughterz: Like I said
  10. SIaughterz: we argued from
  11. SIaughterz: 250-1030
  12. SIaughterz: In the middle of that.
  13. SIaughterz: I started feeling super depressed.
  14. SIaughterz: Like more then usual.
  15. SIaughterz: I tried like keeping that shit in
  16. SIaughterz: bc I didn't want to come off as an attention seeking whore for trying to be like
  17. SIaughterz: those girls who say omg imma kms and never do it.
  18. SIaughterz: But like
  19. SIaughterz: I felt so down.
  20. SIaughterz: I didn't even move.
  21. SIaughterz: and I was supposed to go pick up my momma
  22. SIaughterz: and I couldnt
  23. SIaughterz: bc I was being a baby
  24. SIaughterz: balling my eyes.
  25. SIaughterz: and and
  26. SIaughterz: So I texted Jay
  27. SIaughterz: which like idk if was a good idea bc he's a work
  28. SIaughterz: but ig he listened
  29. SIaughterz: and I didn't tell him who or why
  30. SIaughterz: and stuff
  31. SIaughterz: just how I felt
  32. SIaughterz: and like i went from -100 to a good +75 afterwards
  33. SIaughterz: I mean I stopped crying.
  34. SIaughterz: and like
  35. AFKDinner: this jay guy sounds liek a fag
  36. SIaughterz: >_>
  37. SIaughterz: LMFAOI
  38. SIaughterz: he is
  39. SIaughterz: anywho
  40. SIaughterz  sip tea
  41. AFKDinner: ;]
  42. SIaughterz: He honestly opened my eyes to my bipolar disorder a lot more.
  43. SIaughterz: I always felt like people saw it as an excuse.
  44. SIaughterz: When geninuely. I can't control it.
  45. SIaughterz: I'll try.
  46. SIaughterz: But like it just makes that emotion int hat time
  47. SIaughterz: rage even more.
  48. SIaughterz: bc I'm not going off
  49. SIaughterz: or taking a deep breath.
  50. SIaughterz: Apparently.
  51. Chisu  firmly strokes daddi's chest
  52. SIaughterz: To Aughtry I'm a miserable ass btich who uses it as an excuse.
  53. SIaughterz: Which is dumb.
  54. SIaughterz: I improved so much
  55. SIaughterz: for that week
  56. SIaughterz: that I hung with u guys
  57. SIaughterz: and jude and aug
  58. SIaughterz: wasnt in my life.
  59. SIaughterz: and yet
  60. SIaughterz: they belittled my improvement.
  61. SIaughterz: but Jude apoligized Aug didn't
  62. SIaughterz: he just kept making me feel shittier and shittier.
  63. SIaughterz: and which
  64. SIaughterz: we broke up because
  65. SIaughterz: he got upset that I didn't listen to Jude
  66. SIaughterz: and bc
  67. SIaughterz: "I'm to embarassed to be with him"
  68. SIaughterz: bc everyone hates when we get back together.
  69. SIaughterz: and everyone who used to come to myr oom everyday
  70. SIaughterz: hate him.
  71. Instrument: then
  72. Instrument: That
  73. Instrument: s a sign
  74. Instrument: But continue
  75. SIaughterz: Yeah but like
  76. SIaughterz: They were just mad that he kept
  77. SIaughterz: manipulating me
  78. SIaughterz: but I didnt think of it as that.
  79. SIaughterz: We got back together every 2 days.
  80. AFKDinner: Love blinds you.
  81. AFKDinner: its ass
  82. SIaughterz: it sucks too.
  83. SIaughterz: bc
  84. SIaughterz: now that
  85. SIaughterz: I no longer want him in my life right now so i can better myself.
  86. SIaughterz: and not let my disorder consume my actions
  87. SIaughterz: he thinks of me as a
  88. SIaughterz: egotistical slut
  89. SIaughterz: and
  90. SIaughterz: pathetic and hopeless from Jude
  91. SIaughterz: and
  92. SIaughterz: A ragin bitch from aug
  93. SIaughterz: I get I have a disorder but I'm not mentally ill need to go to the hospital.
  94. SIaughterz: I get I have a disorder but I'm not mentally ill need to go to the hospital.
  95. SIaughterz: it's only in arguements
  96. SIaughterz: or someone triggers 'it'
  97. SIaughterz: not like
  98. SIaughterz: an everday thing
  99. SIaughterz: Like I'm happy one second then angry and then jealous and then scared.
  100. SIaughterz: It's just triggered.
  101. SIaughterz: Like I'll feel all emotions from someone saying soemthing
  102. SIaughterz: Jealousy/Anger/Saddness/Happiness/Elated/Depressed/Nonchalant
  103. SIaughterz: idfk
  104. SIaughterz: But anyways
  105. SIaughterz: They both blamed it on me.
  106. SIaughterz: They blame everything on me.
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