Anyways.
SIaughterz: I told Jude what happened. I was doing it to drag him into the drama.
SIaughterz: But he thought of it as that.
SIaughterz: Robyn was in his messages saying
SIaughterz: "get ur gf she needs to stop"
SIaughterz: apparently I was harassing her.
SIaughterz  rolls ma eyes
SIaughterz: but anyways.
SIaughterz: Like I said
SIaughterz: we argued from
SIaughterz: 250-1030
SIaughterz: In the middle of that.
SIaughterz: I started feeling super depressed.
SIaughterz: Like more then usual.
SIaughterz: I tried like keeping that shit in
SIaughterz: bc I didn't want to come off as an attention seeking whore for trying to be like
SIaughterz: those girls who say omg imma kms and never do it.
SIaughterz: But like
SIaughterz: I felt so down.
SIaughterz: I didn't even move.
SIaughterz: and I was supposed to go pick up my momma
SIaughterz: and I couldnt
SIaughterz: bc I was being a baby
SIaughterz: balling my eyes.
SIaughterz: and and
SIaughterz: So I texted Jay
SIaughterz: which like idk if was a good idea bc he's a work
SIaughterz: but ig he listened
SIaughterz: and I didn't tell him who or why
SIaughterz: and stuff
SIaughterz: just how I felt
SIaughterz: and like i went from -100 to a good +75 afterwards
SIaughterz: I mean I stopped crying.
SIaughterz: and like
AFKDinner: this jay guy sounds liek a fag
SIaughterz: >_>
SIaughterz: LMFAOI
SIaughterz: he is
SIaughterz: anywho
SIaughterz  sip tea
AFKDinner: ;]
SIaughterz: He honestly opened my eyes to my bipolar disorder a lot more.
SIaughterz: I always felt like people saw it as an excuse.
SIaughterz: When geninuely. I can't control it.
SIaughterz: I'll try.
SIaughterz: But like it just makes that emotion int hat time
SIaughterz: rage even more.
SIaughterz: bc I'm not going off
SIaughterz: or taking a deep breath.
SIaughterz: Apparently.
Chisu  firmly strokes daddi's chest
SIaughterz: To Aughtry I'm a miserable ass btich who uses it as an excuse.
SIaughterz: Which is dumb.
SIaughterz: I improved so much
SIaughterz: for that week
SIaughterz: that I hung with u guys
SIaughterz: and jude and aug
SIaughterz: wasnt in my life.
SIaughterz: and yet
SIaughterz: they belittled my improvement.
SIaughterz: but Jude apoligized Aug didn't
SIaughterz: he just kept making me feel shittier and shittier.
SIaughterz: and which
SIaughterz: we broke up because
SIaughterz: he got upset that I didn't listen to Jude
SIaughterz: and bc
SIaughterz: "I'm to embarassed to be with him"
SIaughterz: bc everyone hates when we get back together.
SIaughterz: and everyone who used to come to myr oom everyday
SIaughterz: hate him.
Instrument: then
Instrument: That
Instrument: s a sign
Instrument: But continue
SIaughterz: Yeah but like
SIaughterz: They were just mad that he kept
SIaughterz: manipulating me
SIaughterz: but I didnt think of it as that.
SIaughterz: We got back together every 2 days.
AFKDinner: Love blinds you.
AFKDinner: its ass
SIaughterz: it sucks too.
SIaughterz: bc
SIaughterz: now that
SIaughterz: I no longer want him in my life right now so i can better myself.
SIaughterz: and not let my disorder consume my actions
SIaughterz: he thinks of me as a
SIaughterz: egotistical slut
SIaughterz: and
SIaughterz: pathetic and hopeless from Jude
SIaughterz: and
SIaughterz: A ragin bitch from aug
SIaughterz: I get I have a disorder but I'm not mentally ill need to go to the hospital.
SIaughterz: I get I have a disorder but I'm not mentally ill need to go to the hospital.
SIaughterz: it's only in arguements
SIaughterz: or someone triggers 'it'
SIaughterz: not like
SIaughterz: an everday thing
SIaughterz: Like I'm happy one second then angry and then jealous and then scared.
SIaughterz: It's just triggered.
SIaughterz: Like I'll feel all emotions from someone saying soemthing
SIaughterz: Jealousy/Anger/Saddness/Happiness/Elated/Depressed/Nonchalant
SIaughterz: idfk
SIaughterz: But anyways
SIaughterz: They both blamed it on me.
SIaughterz: They blame everything on me.