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- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.;
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.;
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.;
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.;
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