JChallo's Extreme Ads

"JESUS NINE PIECE DICK NUGGETS! HOLD THE PHONE, REFILL YOUR PIMP CUP AND PUT YOUR BOTTOM BITCH INTO EARLY RETIREMENT!

It's motherfucking...
DOMINO!

Before I continue, I just want to let you faggots know not to get mixed up with the Pizza place, I'm talking about the writefag here.

"UH Whaaa?! But I thought-"

You thought WRONG BIATCH, NOW SHUT THE FUCK AND LISTEN TO THIS SHIT ON WHY DOMINO IS ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS AND A SLICE OF SWEET APPLE ACRE'S PIE!

Let's Disect his name first.

Dom--

HOLD UP REWIND THAT SHIT!

Dom.

STOP THE BROADCAST!
THE FIRST THREE LETTERS OF HIS NAME ALREADY LET'S YOU KNOW HE RUNS SHIT! This DOMINANT motherfucker will put you in your place faster than any Job Core agency!

"Pff, but JC that's not sayin' shit--"

BITCH SHUT YO ASS AND OPEN YOUR ANUS THAT YOU CALL A BRAIN!
I'M ABOUT TO MIND RAPE IT.

Domino, gives absolutely NO fucks at all. One of the COOLEST dudes you'll ever meet. Chances are you're not worthy of his presence. Wait, what am I saying? OF COURSE YOU DON'T DESERVE HIS PRESENCE!

Motherfucker is in Texas, and you know what they say about Texans, right? You DON't FUCK with them! If you did you're better off putting your dick in a japanese Bee Hive then setting it on FIRE!

To make matters even better for him and WORSE for you, he's a writer and damn it a good one. You don't know what writing is until you visit his pastebin.

Oh what's that? You don't know where you can find it? WELL LET ME MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU, YOU NECKBEARD AUTISTIC HARLOT!

http://pastebin.com/u/Domino_anon

Go to the motherfucker.
Download every story in the motherfucker.
Laugh like a motherfucker, cry like a bitch and nod like some snooty fuck that just saw The Great Gatsby.

"Wait... I heard he was gay."

BITCH WE DON'T GOT TIME FOR YOU POLITICAL NONSENSE! WHO CARES?! THE WRITEFAG IS COOL IN MY BOOK YOU CUNT JUICE SIPPIN' SACKED BREATH TWO BIT PIECE OF TURD TENDER!"




"BACK THE FUCK UP IT'S MOTHER FUCKING JESUS TIT HUMPING
BIG
FRIENDLY
NINJA

Just LOOK at this motherfucker! He can draw and shit! Would make a cute trap! You won't even care if it's gay. Dude is so laid back he may as well be a Recliner from Lazy boy! Don't correct me bitch, I didn't have time to google the real company since I'm so caught up in how AWESOME THIS MOTHERFUCKNG NINJA IS!

Look at the motherfucker's name!
"BigFriendlyNinja"

The ninja doesn't even care about spaces! Bold enough to say "fuck dem spaces son!"

Not only that, he's FRIENDLY! Imagine you're sleeping at night, worried Big Foot or the Lochness Monster is going to try to WREK YO SHIT!

AIN'T HAPPENING SINCE YOU GOT A NINJA WHO'S ON YOUR SIDE!
FRIENDLY NIEGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN LOOKS LIKE A NIGGA READY TO ROB A NIGGA!

But
Hold
EVERYTHING!

HE'S BIG! MY DICK JUST DID THE MACERANA FROM THIS FACT ALONE AND I'M NOT EVEN GAY!
THIS NINJA WILL CAST A SHADOW OVER GOD! Not that God would know, because BFN is A FUCKING NINJA!"




"Oh shit. Oh shit on shit.
HOOOO SHIT WHAT'S THIS?!
Women everywhere, prepare to drop your panties, it's required by law. Not that it's needed.
Clock stop ticking, show some fucking respect you annoying fuck.
What we have here is a rare specimen.
LUMBERJACK DANIELS!

YOU BEST BELIEVE THAT HE HAS A BEER BRAND NAMED AFTER HIM!
WHAT YOU FAGGOTS DON'T KNOW UP UNTIL NOW IS THAT JACK DANIELS IS SHORT FOR LUMBERJACK DANIELS YOU MOTHERFUCK

"Say whaaa?"


Oh stop that ignorant shit you crusted cunt bowl! Lemme break it down for a brief moment so your mind can catch up on all this POTENT amount of Epicness.

"Uhh, JC, no one uses Epic anymore."

Sorry, got a 404 error on GIVING A FUCK! NOW LET'S GET TO LISTIN'!

-He's Canadian.
YEAH, CANADIAN! HOME OF THE FREE HEALTHCARE! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOOT!
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT CANADIAN BACON! BECAUSE IT'S LUMBERJACK'S EXTREME AD NOT CANADIAN BACON!

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS STRONG AS SHIT! I HAVE FOUND FOOTAGE OF THIS GUY BUTTRAPING A BEAR THEN CUDDLING IT LATER ON THAT NIGHT

"Pff, 2014, fuckin' bears not--"

SHUT YOU CLOSE MINDED ASS UP! PONIES ARE COOL AND ALL BUT YOG AND NEPTUNE DAMN IT IF BUTTFUCKING A BEAR DON'T MEAN SHIT FUCK THIS GAY EARTH! LEARN TO BE A MAN!

WHICH IS /EXACTLY/ WHAT LUMBERJACK DANIELS IS! SO TAKE SOME LESSONS AND STEP YO' GAME UP YOU SISSY! I HAVE A LITTLE NIECE WHO'S GOT BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU AND SHE'S ONLY TWO!

I'll let you self-reflect on that for a moment along with Lumberjack's Manly Essence before I continue...

....

TIMES UP BITCH!
DAMN I JUST GREW TWO BEARDS JUST ENLIGHTENING YOUR IGNORANT ASS!

NOW! DOWN TO BUSINESS!

Lumberjack Daniels, A fine beer and the manilest Legend since before Adam was born.
Yes, THAT ADAM YOU PUNK NIGGLET! FROM THE BIBLE!
A Canadian with values that every man will shed a tear about.
A man with a vision, who has solutions to any problem.
Vote for Lumberjack Daniels.

"What? What am I voting for?"

I'm sorry, you don't have THE RIGHT TO QUESTION IT! NOW GO READ A HISTORY BOOK ON CANADA!

I am Jchallo and I approve of this message."